A Place in This World
by GerrysJackie
Summary: COMPLETE. Summary: Erik moves on with his life after being proven innocent. He finds love like he never knew existed. No bashings. Eventual EOW pairing and RC pairing.
1. Chapter 1

A Place in This World

Summary: Without giving too much away, Erik is proven innocent and must make a new life for himself. He finds he has friends in a former rival and protégé and others that are willing to help him.

This will be an Erik/OW work of fiction. The rating is PG-13 overall, but there are some M rated scenes in much later chapters, but they will directly follow the PG-13 version; that way, those who do not wish to read them, do not have to.

There is no bashing of movie characters, only embellishing.

Alas, I do not own "Phantom of the Opera" nor any of its wonderful characters. I am just embellishing on their story; taking poetic liberties if you will. I do, however, own Michél and any other original characters not owned by ALW, GL, or SK. Some movie factors were altered to make the age issues a little more realistic. I also took liberties with Erik's origin and past. Character thoughts are in ( ) and **bolded**!

My Phantom is all Gerry. He is gorgeous of body and face. No mask can ever hide that! LOVE YA GERRY! My phantom is a gentleman; albeit, a suffering one…with a bad boy side! I have read the book – confusing as it was and did not care for it, and I have seen the wonderful movie. This story reflects the images of the movie, and the character portrayals are true to the actors that portrayed them in the beautiful movie. Any resemblance of my original characters to any other original characters by other authors is purely coincidental.

CHAPTER 1 – _(Erik's POV)_

_Erik's lair, immediately after Christine places the ring in his hand._

The ring feels so heavy in my hand…she could not even bear to have it on her finger. I look up at her with every ounce of love in my heart pouring down my horrid face; carried away in each tear that I shed. She lingers just beyond my reach and speaks to me in a hushed tone, "You must flee, my Angel. They will be here soon. Get out now, while you still can." I do not even know why she feigns to care about my well-being.

My words come from my throat in a choked manner, "If, where, or when I go is none of your concern Christine. I hold no control over you anymore. Go and live with all happiness, you deserve it..."

I look down at the ring in my hand, examining it as though it were my most treasured possession."I never would have hurt you…or him, I want you to know that. He is a good man…go…" Oddly, I mean what I say. His determination and courage have earned my respect; he really does deserve her. I drop my voice to barely a whisper as the words stick in my throat, I feel as though I am being ripped apart from the inside out, "I'll have to find a way to carry on…just leave before I change my mind…take your memory with you when you go."

The last phrase was said in a hushed tone, barely audible to my own ears. I look up and nod my head in the direction of the boat; she turns from me and makes her way over to the boat where he waits for her. Why does she keep looking back at me with her brow furrowed; like she is actually worried about me?...Who am I trying to fool? She is worried about being found by the blood thirsty mob…she needn't worry, they are out for my blood, not hers.

I watch as he leads her out of my lair and out of my life. She is my strongest weakness; I drop to my knees…how can I go on? I have been driven by my need for her for years. I don't know how to be anything but her angel; or the dreaded Phantom…and now…I am neither; I am barely human…barely a man. I am haunted by the kiss that she should have never given me; but that one simple gift has freed my sanity from the grip of darkness that has been stealthily closing in on me.

It's time to face the music, so to speak. I am tired of hiding; tired of sparing the human race my hideous existence; tired of…being. Maybe it is time to pay for the crime of living; time to pay for being whom and what I am; an abomination. The desire and drive to exist is waning and I find myself anticipating the arrival of the mob. I hear them growing closer and chanting loudly about my being a murderer and needing to pay for my crimes; ironically, I finally agree with the human race.

In frustration, I break the mirrors that echo my hideousness. Moving a tapestry and shattering the mirror beneath it, I find a passage that I had almost forgotten was there. I enter, debating with myself whether this is what I want to do. I halt in mid-step, knowing that I cannot run anymore. I turn back toward the lair; as I do, I hear a faint fall of footsteps coming from behind me. I turn to find Madam Giry rounding the corner holding a torch. She looks rather frantic and much older than her 42 years. She takes my arm rather gingerly and demands my attention,

"Erik, what are you doing? They will hang you just for being who you are. You can't stay here."

She actually has tears in her eyes; she could possibly be the only other person, besides Michél, on the face of the earth who cares whether I live or die. We move further into the tunnel and turn into a small alcove, allowing us a little more freedom to speak. I look into her terror filled eyes and with as much sincerity as I can muster, I try to make her understand my logic,

"Margarite, I no longer possess the strength of will nor the desire to keep up this façade."

Ilook away, trying to avoid the questions I see in her eyes.

"I will accept whatever punishment befalls me; I am blessed to have lived this long, to have done the things that I have done, and to have seen the places that I have seen…despite this loathsome body. Death, if that is what is in store for me, will bring peace to troubled waters, Margarite."

She slumps down against the wall with her head in her hands, I know that she does not see my logic nor does she understand my need for inner peace. I bend at the knees to put myself at her level and raise her face with my finger to her chin,

"Your life for the past 24 years has been usurped by mine. You are still a young, attractive, and vibrant woman; I know that you yearn to have love in your life again Margarite."

She looks aghast at my suggestion, and she drops her eyes in shame. Her head begins to shake, denying my claim; I force her eyes back up to mine by shear will,

"Not only do you yearn for it…you deserve it... I am keeping you from living…"

Tears begin to from at the corners of my eyes, and the hollow drum in my chest that was once my heart begins to ache in a strange manner. I stand and turn from her so she cannot see my features,

"My death will finally allow Christine the tranquility that has eluded her ever since she was unfortunate enough to see my ugliness. She will be free…free to live her life without darkness and fear."

Finally, my thoughts turn to Michél, my faithful and only true friend. He has seen me through many rough times; he always speaks his mind and has put mine at ease on many occasions. For reasons that elude me, Heseems only to want the best for me.

Thankfully, I sent him away in search of my family tree, he is currently in Scotland after obtaining some information concerning my parentage. He has been gone for several weeks and is due back soon. He would not like my decision and would do everything in his power to stop me.

With my back still to her, I maintain a determined tone,

"Michél has all my affairs in order. I have made provisions for you and him. You should both have the means to live very comfortably for the rest of your lives…it is the least I can do…after all that you have done for me."

I make my way toward the tunnel, hearing, but trying not to acknowledge, the silent agony that Margarite is in. I harden myself to her pain. Without turning to her, I straighten my back and hold my head up high, "Why do you weep? I am not worthy of your tears."

A deafening pause impregnates the small cave.

"This is for the best Margarite…I thank you for the years that you have given me. Had you not rescued me all those years ago, I would not have known any of the life I have known; I would have surely been dead long ago. You were my angel of mercy…"

I lower my tone and my head, letting her know that I am resolved in my decision,

"...give no more thought to me…go on with your life."

**Chapter 2 preview – Margarite's POV**


	2. Chapter 2

A Place in This World

CHAPTER 2 – _(Margarite's POV)_

With those words, he silently left the alcove and turned toward the mob. I continued to sob; my heart was breaking…Erik is like a brother to me and he was just given the death penalty. I have never felt at such a complete loss in my life. I strain to hear the dreaded gun shot that will undoubtedly mean that Erik is dead. Thankfully, I never hear it. I find my way to the inner column of the tunnel, listening to what is being said. There is a small space between the tapestry and the wall through which I could see the events unfolding.

Erik is on the ground in the prone position. His hands are on top of his head and his long, elegant fingers are entwined as they tie his arms behind his back. He is not putting up a fight and, even with him in that vulnerable state, the accusers practice caution; treating him with the same respect they would give a caged lion, it seems their brave words had dissipated along with their courage.

None of them have ever seen him up this close before. I hear whispers; "He doesn't look like a ghost." or "He is just a man, like all of us." I even hear a few of the women comment on his deformity, saying that it is not as bad as they thought; in fact, he is quite attractive if you look past it.

They pull him to his feet and his 6'4" height is evident and overwhelming. Even now his stately demeanor is in place. His mask is absent, but he holds his head high and his shoulders back as he is ushered out of his home by his accusers.

The crowd begins to disperse and make their way back up the long, winding stairway, unaware that I am lurking in the shadows. Erik's home is laid out before me. I have not ever had the opportunity to explore this legendary place. It is impeccably kept, and beautifully esoteric. The artistry is representative of the man himself. He is a genius at everything he sets his mind to.

I take hours just feeling Erik in each atom that I breathe in, inhaling the scent that always signified his presence; it was everywhere, surrounding me with his spirit. It was uniquely him and it was intoxicating. I wander from room to room, marveling in the size of the lair. Erik is immaculate and every room is in place.

I continue into the back rooms and enter a small area that appears to be an office or storage room. A small desk inhabits the corner. I make my way over to it and discover a pile of letters and an open journal. I examine the revealed page of the journal and recognize the handwriting as belonging to the late Joseph Bouquet. I begin to read the page that is laid open…

_**Journal Entry, October 14, 1870, to Armand de Monet**_

_**This will be my greatest triumph. I have discovered the lair that houses the Ghost, nay the man, which struts about making others do his bidding. He sickens me with his rich cloths and posh ways. He thinks himself one of us, or even better than us! It…whose face bears the devil's mark, the gall of it all! I know who he was…The Devil's Child. I witnessed his horrible face first hand, 25-years ago. I will never forget that sight! Those gypsies, what genius' they are. I have learned so much about degradation and exploitation from them. The enjoyment that I derived from the rapes of the dancing girls and the murders of the stage hands and maintenance men were child's play compared to the joy I will get from torturing the beast that resides below. He will be my ultimate conquest. I will see him beaten, broken and bleeding to death like the animal that he is. I have enjoyed no kill as much as I will enjoy this one. He parades around as if he has a place among us! What audacity!**_

_**I will need the help of Armand and The Coupe. This is the biggest job I have attempted. He will not be an easy kill; he is sly and virtually invisible. I am going to enjoy this though. I am meeting Armand tomorrow night at the old vintage shop on the corner of Lacét and Curel to make plans.**_

_**Joseph **_

My hands were shaking and I felt like I was going to regurgitate. Erik was innocent! Why didn't he say so? He just stood there and reiterated how worthy he was of death and let me believe the worst about him. Everything pointed to him being the rapist and the murderer…Joseph staged the whole thing!

I skim the contents of the letters and find that they are correspondence between Joseph, this Armand, and many others. The details of their reign of terror were horribly graphic in its description and every page bragged about their exploits. The armed robberies that had been occurring about the city, the many rapes of women of the upper class and aristocracy, and several murders in the city were meticulously laid out on the pages of these letters.

Erik must have come upon them in his many late night jaunts around the opera house…his killing of Bouquet was in self –defense. My mind raced with the knowledge of his innocence. The gravity of the situation hit me hard and I slumped to the ground as my stomach churned with fear. All that had occurred over the last few hours was completely unwarranted.

My hand came to my chest as I gasped for air. If he would have simply said that he did not commit the crimes and presented this evidence, he would be free. Why?...I cannot believe the realization that comes to me…he no longer wishes to live. That has to be it. He would rather die at the hands of the government for crimes he did not commit than be condemned to more lonely years in the darkness that consumes him.

The tears are falling freely as I try to grasp the tragedy of it all. I doubted him; in my heart I new he could not have done those things; and yet, I betrayed him in almost the same fashion as Christine. This man, whose soul can create the most exquisite masterpieces; whether music, sculptures, paintings, clothes or buildings; is now eager to pay for the crimes of another and be hung like a common criminal.

What am I to do? I cannot allow this to happen, even if it is what he wants. I must get this evidence into the hands of the authorities. I need an honest person whose motives are not dictated by thoughts of grandeur or self-gratification…that only leaves one.

**Chapter 3 preview – A Friend and flashback**


	3. Chapter 3

A Place in This World

CHAPTER 3

_The next afternoon_

Police Inspector Albert DuBois has been on the force for 16 years and was known for his fairness and integrity. He sat in his spacious office staring intently at the journal and letters that rested in his hands.

His brow was set in a concerned manner and his voice was controlled"Margarite, thank you for bringing this to our attention before we punished an innocent man. I must present this evidence to the court magistrate. He will have no choice but to release your friend."

He gets up and makes his way around his desk to stand directly in front of Margarite; he takes her hand and asks once again, "Have you reconsidered my offer to take you to dinner? I want the chance to get to know you. I find you absolutely fascinating."

Margarite knew that Albert was sincere in his offer and she smiled up at him. His alert, gray eyes held no hidden games or agenda and Margarite found herself lost in their depths.

She chided herself for allowing her thoughts to wander at such a crucial time. She focuses the conversation on the issue at hand, "Why would he not have offered up this evidence himself Albert? I cannot fathom why he would sell himself out."

Margarite walked toward the window in Albert's office and looked out over the horde of people on the busy streets. This mass of humanity had shunned Erik and all that he had to offer; they were not worthy of the gifts that he so eagerly wanted to share with them.

Albert struggled to find the right response, "My feeling is that he assumed no one would believe him. For years he has been accused of being less than human and his very existence has been questioned, you told me this yourself."

Albert walked up to Margarite's strained figure and placed his hands upon her shoulders, "It probably would have done him no good to try and prove his innocence because everyone had preconceived notions about him."

Margarite turned in Albert's hands, lifting her pained eyes to him as he continued, "The fear he put in their hearts, whether it was real or not, will not be easily forgotten. They want someone to pay for the crimes of the opera house and Erik is willing to be the scapegoat. From what I have seen of the man, he has accepted his fait."

Margarite mulled over what Albert had said. The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Erik had fought so hard to gain the acceptance of the human race and had now accepted that this would never come to be. He has given up. This is his way out. He could accomplish the one thing with his death that he never could in life, or so he thought; he would bring happiness to those he loved, and when Erik loved, he gave his all. Tears were making their way down Margarite's face. She found herself going down memory lane...

_FLASHBACK_

_(1848 – the present year of 1872)_

‡‡‡

Erik appeared to be a tall, gangly pre-teen tasting freedom for the first time in his young life. He really wasn't as old as she had originally thought; he turned out to be around 10. He had never been shown an ounce of human kindness until Margarite came into his life.

Food had never been a constant in his life and he so enjoyed the different textures and tastes that paraded over his tongue. The opera house presented so many wonderful opportunities for a boy with an imagination like Erik's. He found hideouts and hidden passages throughout the structure and became quite adept at playing hide-and-go-seek.

His childish laughter made her heart sing. He soon discovered music and his genius became even more apparent. He mesmerized Margarite with his compositions and as he hit puberty, his voice took on a sensual quality that sent shivers of pleasure up and down her spine.

There was nine years difference in their ages, but Margarite already saw the sculptured beauty of the left side of Erik's face showing through. His arresting green eyes were always dancing behind the masks that he designed for himself. He finally settled on a white half-mask that covered most of the right side of his face, but left his beautiful, full mouth unhindered. He was truly breathtakingly handsome.

It was during this time that Margarite entertained romantic thoughts about Erik, he was reaching 17 years of age and he cut a striking figure. He was toned and muscular, but not in an overbearing way, and he was exceptionally intelligent with a very quick wit. He was already over six feet tall and his hair was dark brown and wavy when it was longer. He tended to keep it cut short though and very seldom allowed any facial hair.

He had impeccable taste in everything from food to clothes. He composed many of the operas that were performed at the opera house, although he used a pseudonym of Clément Doumergue. Margarite was the go-between for Mr. Doumergue when it came to his business dealings at the opera house. She claimed that Mr. Doumergue was a very reclusive man and would only allow her to deliver his music to them and, in turn, she would return his salary back to him.

This arrangement worked so well, that they kept it up for years. Mr. Doumergue's compositions were in demand and highly popular, his salary demands were now at 20,000 fracs per month. Erik was quickly building a fortune as his costs were kept at a minimum. He was very business savvy and invested wisely. He was also very generous and always lavished Margarite with gifts.

Margarite had a few regrets; one being that she ever allowed him to start wearing a mask to begin with; if society had been allowed to grow accustom to the right side of his face and not had to create stories around it; he would have been accepted, respected, and loved like he should have been.

Another regret was never making him get closer to Meg. He became distant during Margarite's brief marriage to Frank and when Meg was born, he started drifting further away from her. Looking back on it, it seemed to Margarite that he assumed he was losing her and receded inside himself for preservation.

He had competition for Margarite's affections and attention; and when competition is in the picture, Erik always comes up on the short end, or so he thinks. After Frank's death, just 13 short months after they married, he provided the shoulder to her to cry on, providing comfort and friendship.

He remained aloof and their relationship took on a more reserved tone. She loved him deeply but it seemed that a wall had gone up around his heart when Margarite meant and married Frank and then when Meg was born. He pushed his affection for her down deep inside himself and never allowed them to show again. She never realized until this very moment how much she missed him.

‡‡‡

_END FLASHBACK_

Albert's voice invades the moment and Margarite's thoughts turn back to the present as his hand finds her shoulder, "Margarite, I will do all that I can for your friend. From what you have told me about him, he deserves to have a break in life. I would really like to get to know him, if he will allow it."

Margarite turned to look at Albert with tears in her eyes, "He is more than just a friend Albert, I have been in love with him in the past and never let him know; I was such a coward; now he is like my brother and I have wronged him…" She looks down at her hands, "betrayed and failed him. I will not do it again!" She accepts his embrace and is so thankful he is the good man that she knows him to be.

**Chapter 11 preview – Hunting for Erik**


	4. Chapter 4

A Place in This World

Thank you for the review, it means so much to me, I hope this chapter is a little longer for you. More reviews would be just ---DIVINE! Love you folks!

CHAPTER 4

Later that same day, Raoul and Christine were tucked away at the De Chagny country château southeast of Paris about 30 miles. They were relaxing on the veranda eating an early lunch after having a lengthy discussion about the yesterdays events. Concern was etched on both of their faces and the episode played over and over in both their minds. They had reached a tentative agreement that the Angel of Music was a soul deserving of mercy; his final unselfish act had redeemed him in their eyes.

Christine turned pleading eyes to Raoul and spoke with a trembling voice, "I know that what he did was wrong Raoul, but I have tried to put myself in his position. After you shared with me what Madam Giry told you about his childhood, I cannot help but think that he really has no idea how to handle emotions or interact with others. How could he?"

Raoul noticed the tears in her eyes and his heart ached in his chest, he knew that her feelings for Erik were deep and enduring; she loved them both, maybe in different ways, but equally. He did not wish to cause her any further pain. What could he do to spare the heartache that she was experiencing?

As Raoul was pouring over these thoughts in his head, the butler presented the days Paris paper. The headline made his heart race and a sick feeling came into his stomach. Christine noticed the sudden intake of breath and saw the horror on his face, "What is it Raoul?" Christine knew in her heart that it was something about Erik. "Don't you dare keep anything from me Raoul de Chagny, I must know."Raoul hesitantly handed her the paper…"

PHANTOM NO MORE"…THE CAPED MENACE THAT HAS HAUNTED THE OPERA HOUSE AND CAUSED COUNTLESS DEATHS HAS FINALLY BEEN CAPTURED. HE SURRENDERED TO A FEW ARMED OFFICERS AND A GROUP OF CONCERNED CITIZENS AFTER THE FIASCO OF GALLA NIGHT AT THE OPERA POPULAIRE. HE AWAITS TRIAL AND PUBLIC EXECUTION…"

The more Christine read, the more her eyes could not focus through the tears; the outdoors seemed to be closing in on her as her chest constricted. Her hands were shaking and she could not even speak. Her mind raced with the images that were dancing around. "Why would he surrender? This makes no sense."

Christine was more talking to herself than anyone, but Raoul heard every word she said. He got up and made his way around the table to squat beside Christine's chair. "He may have lost hope. I never have really considered how completely lonely and heartbroken he must be. I can't imagine being a man in the prime of my life and being denied all the good things like has to offer; a wife, a family, a chance to pursue my dreams."

Raoul looked away from Christine and concentrated on a far-off placehis fear and hatred of Erik had dissipated when he witnessed the sacrifice Erik made to ensure Christine's happiness.

Something had been bothering him from the moment he first looked into Erik's face, "I looked into his eyes Christine; I saw many things there, but I failed to see the eyes of a murderer…all I saw was agony – the agony of solitude; the agony of betrayal and denial; …the agony of self-loathing."

Raoul once again looked at Christine and his face was draped in sorrow, "I did fear for my life at first, but once I looked into his eyes, I knew that he was not at all what I had originally thought he was."

Raoul was a reasonable man. He has seen his share of crooked people and murderers. His reputation for being fair and a good judge of character preceded him in every aspect of his life. He thought back on all that had occurred in his life since be reunited with Christine last year. This man named Erik was at the core of all of it. He had caused Raoul to take desperate measures that he would have never considered under normal circumstances.

He found himself calling this man a "monster" and "thing" and dwelling on aspects that this man had no control over. He was jealous; jealous of the control that this man had over Christine's more sensual instincts, jealous over the way she shared her voice with him, jealous because, even wearing a mask that hid a horrible deformity, he was very attractive.

With shame and foreboding, Raoul recalled the time in the cemetery when he had almost run Erik through with his sword. **(I would have murdered an unarmed man, and one that I think is innocent; I would have become what I was accusing him of being. He was unarmed and lying on the ground with his chest exposed…almost like he was inviting me to plunge my weapon into his heart. Even then, he was anticipating and not fearing death; in fact, I thing he was beckoning it.)**

His thoughts were interrupted by Christine's soft but determined voice, "We must go back to Paris Raoul, he needs me right now. I may not have chosen him as a lover, but I could have; He is and always will be my best friend and mentor. I will not allow you to stop me from going. I hurt him deeply by leaving him like I did; I will not continue to hurt him."

She peered at Raoul with an "I dare you to stop me" look planted on her face.

Raoul had to smile at her fortitude"We will need to pack for several days, we have no idea how long this will take."

As Raoul turned to ready himself, Christine wrapped her arms around his waste and planted a chaste kiss on his cheek, "Thank you Raoul. I feel that if you will allow yourself to, you would like Erik a great deal. There will never be another person like him." They walked quickly into the house and summoned the carriage.

As they packed for the trip, Raoul had to know the answer to one question, "Darling, when he held you and caressed you, what did you feel?"Christine considered his question for a brief moment before going to him.

She took his hands in her dainty ones and looked up at him, pleading for his understanding, "Erik is a very passionate and sensual man Raoul, and he has never been allowed to satiate his desires with any one, in any way. I may only be 17, but I am well aware of what happens between a man and a woman…" the shocked look on Raoul's face caused Christine to laugh quietly, "…the opera house offers a vivid education."

Raoul visibly relaxed. "He is also a very attractive man, and he has an air of danger to him; a very enticing combination to a woman." Christine winked up at Raoul with a sheepish grin curving her mouth. She placed her hands on the front of Raoul's jacket and fiddled with the lapels; refusing to make eye contact, "He awakened lust in me Raoul…I will admit that. I enjoy his touch and his attention, any woman would; they make me feel like I am the only woman on earth. Therein lays the reason why I couldn't pursue a romantic relationship with him."

Raoul raised an eyebrow at this, but Christine did not falter, "He completely consumes me. I cannot think when he has me in his embrace. I cannot find my wits. It is a scary feeling, not being in control of your functions. I do love him, and it would be easy to allow myself to be in love with him."

Raoul saw a tremor course through Christine and knew that she was reliving Erik's embrace in her mind,"His voice, his beauty, his genius – they all create a very alluring man and I cannot and will not allow myself to be completely consumed by anything or anyone."

Christine jerked herself out of the dreamlike state she was in, "I guess my father's stubborn fortitude is coming out. He taught me to be an individual and think for myself. Erik makes me forget who I am as I get lost in the essence of him…of course he does not mean to, it just happens…at least with me…but that was no reason for me to completely abandon him while he was sure that I was leaving because of a deformity that I hardly notice any more."

Christine paused to gather her thoughts, she turned from Raoul and sat on the settee near the window, Raoul moved to sit beside her, "I want Erik to have the same happiness and joy that we have, Raoul, especially if he is innocent; it is the least he deserves. Even though the thought of him with another woman brings out a jealous streak in me, just as it would with you; I still only want the best for him. When I chose you, that choice was mainly based on the fact that I thought Erik was a murderer and a rapist; even thinking those things of him did not squelch my desire for him".

She searched Raoul's face for any sign of discontent, when there was none, she continued tentatively, "I may need to help him…he has no experience in understanding the language that women speak. He has never had a real friend, outside of Michél and Madam Giry."

Her thoughts seemed to drift for a moment and Raoul sat patiently waiting for her to continue. "During one of my lessons, he mentioned that he had had another love interest long ago…it ended tragically, that's all he told me."

Christine's eyes drifted downward and pain covered her face, her voice took on an angry undertone and her hands clenched with emotion, she looked out the window at nothing in particular and said what was on her mind, "I cannot help but be upset at Madam Giry. She sheltered Erik so much and never helped him to prepare for life. She never taught him about emotions and the proper way to handle different situations; he had no role models to pattern his life after."

She grew more frustrated as she continued, "He was left alone entirely too much and with his genius mind…he had no outlet for his creativity." She was openly crying now, Raoul was not sure how to react to her tears. Was she crying because she sympathized with Erik's plight? Was she crying because she felt his pain? Was she crying because she loved him? The answer came quickly, "She should have never encouraged him to hide behind a mask."She took on a very determined frown, "If society were to know him for the beautiful man that he is; the mask, and what it hides, would not mean anything."

She looked at Raoul and hesitantly continued, "I could have easily fallen in love with him had my heart not already been taken; as it is…I will honestly tell you Raoul, that I do find him extremely attractive and I want him in my life. I see no reason why he cannot remain my…our dear friend; without him, I fear that music will cease to be a part of me. He gave me the gift of my voice…I owe him so much…I shudder to think that his love for me has caused him so much pain."

Raoul pulled her close to him and considered all that she had told him. He found himself oddly at ease about her feelings toward Erik. He also felt an overwhelming need to make things right with Erik. Raoul knew that Erik was more of a man than most of the nobles he was acquainted with. He had done something that Raoul was not even sure he could have done had the roles been reversed; he had let Christine go.

Raoul gently squeezed Christine's shoulders as he made a promise he intended to keep, "I will do everything in my power to help him leave the past behind and begin again."

Christine just smiled at him; the kiss she gave him spoke so much about how his words made her love him even more. They took a few moments to enjoy each other and quickly finished packing. The trip was an hour or so to Paris and they needed to find lodging. The first course of action was to find Madam Giry and get the latest on Erik's fate. At last, the future seemed to hold hope for the man that had affected all their lives; he finally had friends willing and ready to fight for his place in the world.

**Chapter 5 preview – Reflections of a phantom**


	5. Chapter 5

A Place in This World

Thank you for the review, it means so much to me, I hope this chapter is a little longer for you. More reviews would be just ---DIVINE! Love you folks!

CHAPTER 5

_The next afternoon_

Inspector DuBois stood in front of the magistrate with the evidence in hand. He spread it out before him and stood quietly while the magistrate, Valéry Grévy, perused the contents. He took his time, scrutinizing every page of the journal. The hideous dealings of Joseph Bouquet were evident and made Mousier Grévy sick to his stomach. He had been in this position for 13 years and had seen many criminals come and go. Joseph Bouquet, though he was already dead, was by far the most heinous.

He finally placed the journal on his desk and pushed it away from him as though it carried a disease. He leaned back in his chair and cleared his throat"This is appalling. I would have killed the man myself had the opportunity presented itself."

Mousier Grévy reflected on his own family, especially his two teen-age daughters; they had expressed an interest in learning to dance at the Opera Populaire, he was so thankful that he had not consented while Bouquet was pillaging the area.

"It seems that Monsieur Phantom has done us all a favor in bringing about the demise of Joseph Bouquet. It is clear by the evidence that he was acting in self-defense when he killed Bouquet, and the other crimes were committed by Bouquet…"

Grévy reached for the paperwork on the corner of his desk, "Please bring Monsieur…" he searched the paperwork for Erik's last name. When he could not find it, he glanced up at Albert, _"_What's his last name?"

Albert shook his head, "He does not know. We are hoping to help him find out his last name and his place of birth."

Grévy shook his head in agreement and continued, "Bring him to me. He has been in isolation for a couple of days."

Grévy retrieved two letters from his top drawer and signed them, he handed them, one at a time, to Albert, "This authorizes Erik's release." Albert took the envelope and placed it in his breast pocket.

"This authorizes the cost of a suite at the finest hotel in Paris, some new clothes for Monsieur Erik, and dinner from the finest restaurant in Paris to be catered here; bring him back around 6:30 . I want to have dinner with this man that held Paris in the grip of fear and never broke the façade; he is a master at keeping himself hidden and seems to move through walls…I could use a man like him."



Albert eagerly took the letters and headed out of the office. He headed for the prison building and made his way to the warden's office. After the necessary red-tape, Albert addressed a guard and asked him to accompany him to the correct cell. The guard unlocked the cell door and Albert stood at the entrance and observed the man before him.

Erik sat despondently on the bed in the far left hand corner of the small cell. Even after two days of isolation and little food, he still cut a demanding figure. He had an air of nobility about him that was present when they hauled him in here and was still evident, even in his exhaustion.

The man known only as Erik had not looked up from the floor yet, he was studying his hands as though seeing them for the first time. Albert cleared his throat to get Erik's attention. Erik slowly pulled his eyes up from his hands and focused them on the man before him. Albert could see the glistening of tears shining in those green orbs. "Monsieur, please come with me. You have been released; new evidence was found that cleared you of all charges.

Erik's face held no emotion save the tears that were creeping down his perfect cheek. He made no move to stand and his eyes seemed to look through Albert, settling on an unknown object behind him.

"Why do you tarry? You should be overjoyed and anxious to be out of this God-forsaken place. You definitely don't deserve to be here." Albert insisted.

Erik watched Albert very intently as he approached him and sat down beside him on the meager, makeshift bed. He had not said a word and Albert was slightly disconcerted. Erik looked away and again stared at his hands, tears still noticeable on his face. "Did you hear me Erik? You are a free man." Albert repeated, emphatically.

After what seemed like an eternity, Erik stood up. He turned toward Albert and held his gaze. When he finally spoke, his voice was raw with emotion and self-loathing, "No matter what the evidence says, I have no desire to remain confined within this body…" Erik dropped his head and peered at Albert through the tops of his eyes, Albert grew slightly uneasy under the weight of that stare. "I grow tired of this weary journey that has led me here; I wish it to stop..."

The large man turned and leaned with his back against the wall. Once again, his tone demanded Albert to meet his gaze, when his eyes found Erik's, he was shocked at the overflowing amount of what?…Love…tenderness…maybe compassion he saw in them

Erik spoke with determined rhetoric, "There are so many people who will benefit from my death. People I have scarred with visions of my horrid face, people who have interwoven their lives so intimately with mine that they have ceased to live, and people who think they must serve me because, in a rare instant of humanity, I saved their life. I love all of them too much to continue to cause them grief."

Erik's eyes held a pleading look that Albert found very hard to resist. He sympathized with Erik's plight; the pain that this man was feeling emanated from his body with each breath he took. Albert became more determined not to allow this man to pay for crimes he did not commit. "I cannot allow you take this road Erik, it would not be ethical. You do not deserve to die, especially for something that you have no control over."

Erik began to speak, but Albert would not have it. He knew that Erik was going to protest, saying that Albert really did not know him. "You think I don't know you?"

Albert stood and placed his hand on Erik's shoulder and felt him stiffen at the contact"I have spent many hours in the company of a woman whose every word was consumed with stories about you. She shared her concerns about your health, living down in the dark, dismal, dank area of the home you made."

Erik glanced over at Albert and saw the sincerity in his face, "She told of your mother's inhumane treatment of you and then your torture at the hands of the gypsies. When she speaks of the interactions that she has had with you, her eyes light up and she has the most beguiling smile on her face." Albert dropped his hand from Erik's shoulder and fixed his eyes on the ceiling.

Erik voice was steady, but held just a hint of amusement, "You're in love with her…soyou're the man who has put the blush back in her cheeks and the laughter in her eyes." There was a brief moment when Albert could have sworn he saw a smile brush across the mouth of this enigmatic man. Albert meant his eyes and smiled back at him.

Albert considered on the man before him. Who had been there for him? Who wiped his tears and bandaged his wounds? Margarite admitted that she was not always the best friend to Erik; he was too brilliant and it frightened her. Many are intimidated by those with extreme intelligence; they put them on a different plane than everyone else and assume that they are not as normal in their desires and needs as the rest of society. Albert felt a welling up of compassion for Erik. **(Society has failed him; the most I can do, is direct him toward a future worthy of the noble heart that beats inside his chest.)**

Albert stood directly in front of Erik, evading the statement about Margarite, and with a determined glint in his eye, he looked up at Erik, "I am to solicit a hotel room for you at the Reginé Hotel. You are to be fitted with new clothes, as yours were destroyed. You are to return to the magistrate's office at 6:30 tonight and have dinner with us. He wishes to converse with you about your plans or ideas for the future."

Erik lifted a sculptured eyebrow and tilted his head in an inquisitive manner, "It seems that we are at an impasse, I have no desire to continue on in this life and you are determined to thrust me into it."

The smile that Albert thought he saw before, actually appeared this time, "However, my circumstances have not improved. My heart still aches profoundly; my home is in ruins; I have lost the desire to compose, which provided my livelihood; and now, I can't even provide myself and others with the peace of my demise…oh, and there is still the colossal matter of my repugnant body."

Erik paused with an indignant smirk on this face, "How do you suggest I rise above these and go on with this isolated life? I have grown weary of my own company." Erik's control precluded anger, but his voice was low and dripped with malice, "I wanted what any normal man wants; a wife to share my dreams and bed, children to pass my gifts and talents to, and a home that echoes with laughter and love."

Erik turned his head again so that Albert could not see the loneliness that blanketed his eyes, "But these luxuries are not meant for beasts, Monsieur DuBois. I have given my heart on two occasions…and both times nearly killed me. This disgusting body prevents any woman from being able to endure my presence…or touch." Erik started to say more, but the words did not come. Albert walked up to him and gently took his arm; leaving him no other choice but to follow, he led Erik out of the jailhouse.

**Chapter 6 preview – Revelations**


	6. Chapter 6

A Place in This World

I am thankful for the reviews that I have received and hope that my story compares to the wonderful works of fiction that I have had the privilege of reading.

CHAPTER 6

_Later that night…_

Madam Giry had no inkling as to the events going on at the jailhouse. She was at her home answering a knock on her door about the same time that Albert was leading Erik out of the jailhouse.

Margarite was not expecting company, so she was a little curious as to who was knocking. She threw the door open to find the familiar faces of Raoul de Changy and Christine Daae standing there.

"You must have gotten the morning paper." Margarite glanced from Raoul to Christine with a contemptuous look on her face. "Why are you here…? To make sure "that thing" gets what's coming to him?" Her voice was steady but anger was evident in every word. Noticing the pained expression on their faces, Margarite softened her tone and repeated, "Why are you here?"

Raoul took a determined step toward the door and, looking down at Madam Giry, made an effort to explain their presence. "Could we just come in? We will answer all of you questions in due time. There are questions of ours that you need to answer also."

Margarite moved to the side and allowed them to enter her home. Her protective nature for Erik was foremost on her mind and she was not sure what these two wanted. She would have to be wary. They made their way to the parlor and took a seat in the small sofa that was in the corner of the room. The room was warm and inviting, but the guarded stance that Madam Giry was taking with them caused the warmth to disappear.

"Margarite, we are not here to cause problems." Raoul was the first to speak once they were settled in the room. "We have both had some time to think about the events of the other evening and we feel that things are not as they appear."

Raoul shifted in his seat and reached over and took Christine's hand. He was unsure of how to approach the subject of Erik's future.

He looked up at Christine but his words were for Margarite, "Christine felt compelled to be by Erik's side during this time." He pulled his eyes away from Christine and focused on Madam Giry, "I know this seems rather strange coming from me, but I am not entirely convinced that Erik is the criminal that everyone, including myself, has accused him of being." The only indication that Margarite found what he was saying odd, was the tilting of her head and the lifting of one eyebrow.

Raoul went on, "I am a fairly good judge of character, or so I have been told. With all that had been going on between us, I never got the chance to look into Erik's eyes for any length of time until the night of Don Juan. I saw in his eyes a deep loneliness, self-loathing, desperation and a keen mind…but I did not see the eyes of a murderer."

Raoul paused just long enough to see the tears that were forming in Madam Giry's eyes. She had a slight smile on her face, which confused Raoul, but he continued, "Has there been any indication on his part that he is innocent of the charges that have been stated?"

Margarite could not believe what she was hearing. There were so many reasons that she could think for them to be here, and this had not been one of them. Maybe, just maybe, she would not have to do this alone.

Her tears were flowing freely as she looked down at her hands, which were folded in front of her, "After Christine left him, I found him lingering in the lair, just waiting for the mob to find him…waiting to be taken. After hearing me, he found me in a tunnel and I tried to talk him out of surrendering."

Margarite was shaking her head in denial, "He would not hear anything I had to say." Her shoulders were shaking as her tears consumed her, "He told me that it was best if he were dead…that our lives…" she looked at both of them indicating that they were included in Erik's statement, "would be better off with him gone."

Christine's intake of breath and the trembling of her chin indicated that she could not believe that Erik would surrender so easily. She and Raoul both had tears in their eyes, Margarite continued, "He said that he had made provisions for Michél and me and that we would be taken care of for the rest of our lives…he told me to spare him no more thought."

Margarite took a handkerchief and wiped her eyes with a tremulous hand. She stood up and headed for the fireplace, she looked into the flames, as if she anticipated them containing the answers.

Margarite's words were barely above a whisper, "I had heard him talk of death before, but he had never sounded so resolved and determined…and defeated…I was petrified…" She looked up at the mantle that contained some pictures, "He has been many things to me; brother, friend, even son at times." She had the faintest sad smile on her face, "There was even thoughts in my head of romantic love with him…I finally settled for a brotherly/best friend love that has made him so very special to me."

Margarite turned from the fireplace and sat back down in the chair. "He gave himself over to them and I could do nothing but cry. I thought that I would be a witness to his execution; right there in his home. But…they turned him over to the police."

She looked up at Raoul and Christine, both of them completely engrossed by the story that she was telling. "I don't know how long I sat there and pondered over what had happened. I finally began wandering around the lair…into rooms that I never knew existed…I found a small room that contained a desk with letters and a journal lying open. I approached the desk and looked at the journal; the handwriting was that of Joseph Bouquet."A flash of hatred flew across Margarite's face; the next words were dripping with disdain, "I read in his own writing how he had murdered the stage hands and raped the dancing and chorus girls…I read how he was planning the murder of Erik and had discovered his lair."

She looked deep into Raoul's eyes, finding a gentle intelligence there that assured her she was safe giving him this knowledge, she gently caught Christine's gaze and saw the realization creep into her eyes, "Erik is innocent…of everything." Margarite once again bowed her head, "What shames me the most is that I thought him guilty, just like everyone else…me…" she pointed into her chest for emphasis and self-loathing was evident in her words; tears were spilling down her weary face, "…me..."

A reluctant smile invaded Margarite's pained expression, "I am probably the only person besides Michél to have been honored with Erik's smile and laughter. I have seen a side of the brilliance that no one else bothers to see; the part of the man that is seldom allowed to show."

She lifted her head and squared her shoulders; with a determined and willful tone admitted, "I gave the journal to Inspector DuBois, a very good friend of mine. He is a fair and just man, and I have shared many conversations with him concerning Erik. He will see that the wrongs are made right."

Raoul took in all the information that he had just heard and processed it. Once again, his intuition had been correct and Erik was an innocent man. "Can we go see this Inspector DuBois and see what progress he has made?"

Raoul and Christine stood, ready to head out the door and find Albert; but Margarite stopped them, "Let Albert handle it Raoul, he will let me know when Erik is free…or Erik will come to me…either way, it is best that we let things settle for now."

Margarite had moved to place a hand on Raoul's elegant sleeve. Raoul placed his hand over hers and gently squeezed it, "I'm sorry, Margarite; sorry for all that I put Erik through when I set my eyes on Christine. He has as much a right to love her as I do, perhaps more of one. I plan to do all within my power to see that he has a good life, I owe him that."

Raoul placed his arms around the shoulders of both ladies, "Well, I guess I need to take my two favorite ladies to dinner. Hopefully, when we return, there will be news of Erik." Margarite looked as though she were going to protest, but Raoul did not give her the chance, "You have to eat. I know you don't feel like preparing a meal and I would like to take you out." Margarite just stood there and contemplated her next move. She decided to accept Raoul's invitation. After grabbing her shawl, she led them out the door and into the waiting carriage.

**Chapter 7 preview – Freedom**


	7. Chapter 7

A Place in This World

To reiterate…I do not own any of the characters that are the creations of GL, ALW, or SK. I would love to stake claim to Erik, but I can't…I would love to stake claim to Gerry Butler…but on well. I do own Michél and any other OC as they appear.

CHAPTER 7

Erik was a little befuddled with the turn of events within the past few hours. He had accepted that his life was at an end; a befitting one at that. Death was an invited friend that had never come to visit him in his misery; leaving him, instead, to wallow in self-loathing and disgust.

He never expected for such a chance in life as was being given him now. He found himself surveying Inspector DuBois from underneath a very guarded look. He seemed trustworthy; and Margarite was enamored with him, something Erik knew was a sign that she thought him a man worth her time.

He sat at a fine table with Albert and Valéry Grévy, the magistrate, who, at this very moment, was trying to convince Erik to take a position on the police force…as a spy. These two men had changed the course of his life in just a few short hours.

Monsieur Grévy's raspy voice invaded Erik's train of thought"Erik, I wish you would reconsider. You would be a great asset to the force. You have uncanny abilities that would allow you to be an incredible tool in fighting crime in this city and the surrounding area." Inspector DuBois nodded his head in agreement, but did not seem to be as convinced as Grévy that Erik was going to agree.

Monsieur Grévy droned on, "You seem to be able to blend into the shadows and not be seen or heard; your presence demands respect and honor. Not to mention, you are exceptional with a sword and a sharp shooter as well. Where did you learn these skills?"Monsieur Grévy leaned into the table anticipating Erik's response. The whole room seemed to hold its breath as Erik contemplated how to answer.

Erik's arresting green eyes were alert and shone with the genius that both men new rested within his mind.

When Erik spoke, it was with a reserved tone that belied the anxious twist of his stomach and the myriad of thoughts coursing through his mind, "I have had many years to hone these skills. I thought it best that I be able to defend myself in any situation that I could fathom and then reenact. I went about training my body to do incredible feats of strength and agility; allowing me to go for days, sometimes weeks, without a great deal of food or sleep. Music was another outlet…my first love…" sadness enveloped his face, causing his eyes to take on a far-away look, "destined to be my only love."

Erik paused; in deep thought. He had never shared this rare information with anyone, it actually felt…exhilarating, to be able to carry on a conversation about himself. No one had ever seemed to want to know, until now.

The two men sitting at the table with Erik found themselves drawn into the vast loneliness that had been this man's existence. Neither one of them could see any reason why a normal life had been denied him.

Albert had clued Monsieur Grévy in on Erik's childhood and the tragic events that had led up to his arrest. Other people with far more evident physical deformities were allowed to walk the streets and live normal lives, why not this man? The mask only seemed to add to the mysterious nature that surrounded Erik; that defined him. If one looked past it, into the soul of the man himself, one saw extreme beauty and intelligence. Just lurking under the surface was an air of danger and mystery, making hearts leap when he entered a room or spoke in that resounding, rich, and passionate voice of his.

Albert was compelled to know more about Erik's musical genius, "Did you teach yourself about music also?"Albert paused, but not long enough for Erik to compose an answer just yet, "Margarite told me that she just suddenly found you making music one day. She had no idea that you even knew how to read or interpret music, let alone play and write it."

It was rather intimidating, being in the presence of such genius. Very few possessed the ability to bring others to tears with the sound of their voice or with the music that flowed from their elegant fingers and virtuoso mind. Erik had done this, even though the recipients of his aptitude had no idea from whence they received such beauty.

Erik couldn't help but smile. He knew that others, who had the misfortune of meeting him, found his abilities bordering on the scary end of extreme; almost like a fairytale character. To him, they were what kept him rational. If he had not had the presence of mind or the desire to teach himself these skills, he would have lost his mind and been completely consumed by the darkness that loomed around him every day.

He shrugged his shoulders and answered in a matter-of-fact tone, "My skills; music, architecture, design, even magic and creating illusions – came naturally to me. I taught myself to read, solve mathematical and philosophical problems, anatomy and physiology of the human body, and many other subjects. I have studied so many ways to bring my miserable life to an end; with pain or without it, it really didn't matter. This is one of the few skills I possess that has not been successful for me." Erik's smile returned, but with a sadder quality, "The only skills that I was unable to teach myself were social skills…I am not good with people; most are unable and unwilling to endure my visage. Those who do, barely tolerate my presence; mostly out of pity…I'm certain."

He dropped his eyes, remembering all the harsh words and phrases that people used to describe him, even when he was present. Most people were under the impression that because he lacked a perfect face, he lacked intelligence, or was even mentally challenged; how ironic, he had so much he wished to share with the world, but the world was too blinded by its own prejudices to wish for it. He had gone to extreme measures to prove himself worthy of the world, only to have it come crashing down around him…never again.

Grévy responded, "I think I speak for both of us, Erik, when I say that we find your intelligence and your presence stimulating." Valéry Grévy had developed a great deal of respect for the man that sat opposite him. "You have overcome obstacles that would have crushed lesser men Erik." Grévy held Erik's eyes with certainty and graced him with a slight smile, "I know that you are heartbroken and lonely. I don't know the magnitude of the deformity that prevents you from uncovering your entire face, but I do know that even those of us who wear our masks on the inside have experienced heartache and disappointment at the hands of a woman."

Grévy scooted his chair back and rose, making his away around the table to sit in the chair next to Erik. "If you do not wish to work for me, how may I be of assistance to you?" Erik looked shocked at the suggestion by Monsieur Grévy. No one had ever really offered to do anything for him before. Grévy continued, "Where do you want to go and what do you want to do?"

Erik reacted as though he were going to turn down the offer for help; Monsieur Grévy would not allow him to, "I will assume that Paris holds none of your allegiance any more. I am aware that you have been pursuing your parentage and I would like to offer my help to you, in whatever way you would have me to…I have a cousin who works with Scotland Yard, would his services come in handy?"Erik looked up with interest when Monsieur Grévy mentioned his quest for knowledge, "He is a well-trained detective in that unit and he is also in quite good with the aristocracy in Great Britain...I have already taken the liberty of wiring him to contact me, should you choose to accept my offer of help."

**Two hours later…**

Erik had never quite experienced this feeling of acceptance before; not from anyone accept Margarite and Michél. He sat in his hotel room; on a soft bed with exquisite furnishings and surrounded by charm and class…he had done his share of traveling, but it was always under the guise of night. He had never attempted nor did he think himself worthy of finery in other settings. He had draped himself with it in his own dwelling, only to disguise his horridness; he could not even stand his own company.

As he readied himself for bed, Erik reflected on the evening's conversation. He had turned down Monsieur Grévy's offer of employment; he had no interest in fighting crime. He had finally consented to the offer for help from his cousin at Scotland Yard; after all, he was 33 years old and starting over from scratch. He had arranged for a carriage to pick him up in the morning, around 7:00 a.m. He would leave tomorrow for London to meet with Grévy's cousin, Monsieur Chevalier.

His thoughts wandered to Margarite. Should he attempt to say good-bye to her, or just leave things as they were?... He would contact her and let her know that he was still among the living and enlighten her about his plans. He owed her at least that. **(What she does with the information is her business,)** Erik thought to himself. **(I can wait a day or two more to head to London. I need to wait on Michél anyway; he is due to be here the day after tomorrow. I need to find out what information he has dug up.)**

He gingerly turned down the covers to the bed and crawled in; he was exhausted. The days in the jail had served to extinguish his energy, only because he was anxious to get the events over and pass from this life into the next. This day, on the other hand, had proven to Erik that there was still good people in the world who did not judge a book by the cover. With this in mind, he fell into a dreamless, blissful sleep.

**Chapter 8 preview – Late Night Chat**


	8. Chapter 8

A Place in This World

I apologize for splitting this scene up between two chapters; it is just really long. I will have chapter 9 posted before long.

CHAPTER 8

Dinner with Christine and Raoul turned out to be a pleasant affair, if a bit reserved. Margarite did not get the chance to go out a great deal; she just did not feel the need to spend money on such frivolous social functions. However, she did rather enjoy the evening and Erik's impending freedom made her spirits high. Christine embellished on ideas for the wedding, but her heart did not seem to be completely in it. Margarite sensed that she needed to talk about something in private and made a mental note to find some alone time with Christine when they arrived back at her home. Raoul, although an accomplished conversationalist, seemed distracted and did not carry the subjects as well as he normally would have; but when all was said and done, the evening was a success.

"I don't know about you young people, but this old woman is ready to call it a night." Margarite tried desperately not to yawn, but a hint of one escaped her lips anyway. "Christine, you may sleep in Meg's room, she is not going to be here for a couple of more days, she is spending the week with my cousin in the high country." She walked as she talked, pointing Christine in the right direction. She bid good night and headed up the stairs.

Raoul moved to protest, as he had purchased two hotel rooms at the Reginé Hotel, the most elaborate hotel in all of Paris. "Margarite, I did obtain lodging for the evening, there is no need to put yourself out."

Margarite shot Raoul an accusing look, "Young man, I will not have Christine residing in a hotel with a young man, even if it is not in the same room…she stays here and you may go into town." There was a hint of mirth in Margarite's voice that indicated her resolute attitude about the subject and Raoul knew that she was only protecting Christine

Raoul put his hands up in mock frustration,"Very well, you win." He gave a chivalrous bow and headed for the door"I will return forthwith in the morning, probably around 8:00. Let's plan to break fast in the morning…" Raoul placed his hat upon his head, pulled his cape over his shoulders, and stepped into the cover of night. "Good night Margarite."

Margarite locked the door and headed for the stairs. Her body was exhausted and weary, this was a good night for revealing secrets; she needed to go to Christine and see what was bothering her earlier.

She headed for Meg's room and gave the door a soft knock, Christine answered with a hesitant smile on her face. "Please come in Margarite, I feel the need to talk to you." Christine turned into the room as Margarite entered. She looked nervous about something.

"Christine, whatever is the matter?" Margarite asked while wrapping her arm around Christine's delicate shoulders and easing her into the couch by the fireplace. "You don't seem to be as happy as I would have expected you to be…with your approaching wedding and all..."

Christine bowed her head and did not answer immediately. Margarite turned toward Christine, allowing her all the time she needed to determine what it was that she wanted to say. "Christine, you know that my loyalty stays with Erik, but I will be an impartial ear if you want to discuss something concerning him…" Margarite searched Christine's face for some hint of what the younger woman was thinking.

Christine looked at Margarite and gave her an unsettled smile. "I feel compelled to let you know that my feelings for Erik go very deep; even deeper than I knew…though I cannot allow myself to think of him in a romantic light…" Christine looked anxious and her eyes pleaded with Margarite for understanding, "even when I thought him a murderer and rapist, I was so attracted to him – it scared me." Christine allowed a chuckle to escape her lips, but it held no humor, "I chastised myself continuously over the fact that I was attracted to a man that I was led to believe was so blatantly evil…my body didn't care that my mind thought he was malicious…it found his presence so enticing and intoxicating."

Christine stood up and began to quietly pace the floor, "When I was with him, I felt so safe - but at the same time so frightened. His temper was so erratic and unpredictable." Christine stopped pacing and looked at Margarite with shadowed eyes; she seemed to be realizing something for the first time. "Even when he was upset with me…like when I betrayed his trust by removing his mask without his permission…he never touched me; in fact, he seemed to go to great lengths to avoid any contact at all with me when he was upset."

She once again took a seat next to Margarite, but did not make eye contact, "Come to think of it, even in his desperation after Don Juan, his touch was firm but never painful or imposing…he is innately gentle and kind." Christine's eyes filled with tears; her shoulders shook gently with pent up emotion"I should have known then, had I been paying any attention at all, that he was no murderer or rapist; just a beautiful, misunderstood genius whose only desire in life was to love and be loved…"

Margarite took advantage of the lull and injected her thoughts, "Christine, was he ever, at any point in time…"Margarite was uncertain of how to broach the subject,"…not a gentleman with you?"

Christine's eyes lit up with a fire that Margarite had not seen before and her voice was slightly annoyed, "What are you asking…? Did he ever take advantage of me on a physical level?"

Margarite shook her head yes, even though she had a shamed look on her face.

Christine gave into a beguiling smile that revealed the woman/child that Margarite knew Erik had found irresistible. "He easily could have. He is devastatingly attractive; even with the knowledge of what lies behind that mask…"Christine's voice trailed off in a whirl of memories, "but he never did…"

Christine's heart began to ache; it ached for the man who robbed himself of the love that would surely come his way if **_he_** could get past the mask that he wore

"He never indicated that he wanted anything from me until he placed the veil on my head and the ring in my hand when I was in his lair; I mean, he did touch me while we were singing. His gloved hands lightly skirted over my torso as he emphasized the meaning of his lyrics, but I never felt violated in any way…it was at this time, the time after Don Juan, that he indicated he had never had physical relations with a woman…or even been kissed." Christine looked aghast as she again thought about the depth of Erik's loneliness, "I could not believe that such a handsome man could not have known the love of a woman; even now, it seems unfathomable. Why, Margarite? Why has there been no one in his life?"

Margarite was a little surprised at the compassion and utter confusion she heard in Christine's voice; she was even more surprised by the love she saw on her face. She unfolded Erik's story before her; from her rescuing him from the Gypsies, through his vast travels, to his final curtain call the night of Don Juan. She tried to leave nothing out, including her own struggle with romantic thoughts about Erik and how she handled it.

Her face lit up with the pride that she felt for him; all of his self-achieved accomplishments in music, architecture, design, magic and a plethora of other skill; the depth of his genius mind, his manners and impeccable tastes.

Her voice was full of adoration as she spoke, "There is something aristocratic about him. We do not know his bloodline or background, but I would not be surprised to find out that he has noble blood running through his veins. If all goes as I am praying it will, he is going to go through the process of finding out where he comes from, and I intend to do everything within my power to help him."

There was a determined tilt to her chin that Christine was very familiar with; it was that same tilt that helped mold the best ballerinas that Paris had to offer.

Christine tentatively interrupted Margarite's thoughts, "Are you going to leave Paris also? I cannot imagine you not being in the opera business in some way." Christine felt like adulthood was being thrust upon her. Everything she had clung to as a child was changing around her; it was disconcerting. She felt a sudden onset of panic sweep over her. She knew she was loosing Erik, if Margarite was not here for her to turn to; she was not sure how she would cope. "I do not want to lose Erik's presence in my life; he has been a steady influence on me throughout my young life."

Christine smiled as her mind walked down memory lane, "As my 'angel', he helped me through some very trying times and made the loss of my father tolerable. His tutelage inspired my voice to do things that I never dreamed possible and took me places I would have never been able to go."

Her eyes closed and she raised her head toward the heavens, "His music moves me in a way that no thing and no one could ever do. I cannot bear the thought of not being able to be around him…" She opened her eyes and focused on Margarite as though she had forgotten she was there, "…to see his beauty, both inward and outward; to hear his magical, enchanting voice and be awe-struck by his endless intelligence…I want him near me."

Christine's stomach was knotting at the prospect of seeing Erik, **(calm down girl, you know that Raoul is the one your father wanted you with. It was agreed upon when you were a child.)** Christine remembered the conversation between her father and Raoul's mother…

(FLASHBACK)

_summer, 1859_

"Bonét, Christine is not of noble birth. This is highly irregular." Gustov Daae was amused at the suggestion of an arranged marriage between his three-year-old daughter, Christine, and Bonét's youngest son, Raoul. Christine sat quietly, playing with her doll, as her father and her "aunt" conversed; but she heard every word.

Bonét chuckled at his inference, "Gustov, Jeanette wanted this and so do I. Your wife and I were best friends growing up. It is only natural that our families have this tie." Gustov noticed the determined look on the noblewoman's face, he was at a loss to argue with her. "Raoul is 16 and he loves Christine dearly. They play together and that is a start. I cannot think of a better match for him. Christine will undoubtedly be a very attractive, highly intelligent girl…how could she not be with the parents she has. Raoul is not the first-born son; therefore, he will not receive a majority of the inheritance. His title will remain Viscount and will most likely not increase, as his brother will take the family title." Bonét de Chagny was a very indomitable woman and was not about to give up on this.

Gustov placidly sat and listened to her reasoning; he knew that this is what his wife would have wanted and he really saw no reason to withhold Bonét's wishes"What does the Count think of this? I know that he is not as open minded and progressive as you. I do not want Christine treated as an unequal in his eyes should this marriage come about."

A look of complete contempt draped Bonét's face, "He will bow to my wishes if he knows what is good for him. It is my financial prowess that keeps the family business afloat, and I know how to hurt him…where it counts." Bonét gave Gustov a mischievous grin. "This is meant to be Gustov, let's seal the pact with a verbal agreement between friends. I will get my husband and we will do this."

After they left, Gustov explained the situation to Christine as best he could. She was a very smart little girl and understood what he was saying. She smiled her effervescent smile, "I will marry Raoul when I am older…then we can play forever…"

(END FLASHBACK)

Christine came back to the present conversation. Margarite was preparing to explain why she was leaving with Erik. "Christine, I owe so much to Erik…he would be very displeased at me saying this to you, but he has supported Meg and me for years. His monetary gifts have allowed me to own this little house, buy clothes, and always have food on the table. He is a shrewd businessman and his investments through the years have left him quite wealthy; enough to rival your viscount, I'm sure."

Margarite smiled with pride as she once again highlighted a strong point in Erik's character, "Erik is quite modern in his thinking and feels that women should be able to handle their own business affairs and make decisions concerning life in general. He taught me to think like he does and I have taken the money that he gives us every month and invested it. My own bank account will never compare to his, but I can live comfortably for the rest of my life. I will follow him to the ends of earth if need be."

**Chapter 9 preview – More late night chat**


	9. Chapter 9

A Place in This World

This chappy is rather short, this I know.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch…

CHAPTER 9

Christine absorbed all that Margarite had told her. She realized just how little she knew about this man that held so much of her heart. "Why did you ever allow him to start wearing a mask? If he had forced the world to accept his deformity from the beginning, maybe things would have been different."

Margarite had often contemplated removing the mask and making Erik show himself. There would have been some awkward times, but everyone would have adjusted.

"Erik would not have it." Margarite's voice took on an angry tone, "His mother, if you can call her that, was actually the first one to force the mask upon him. She never even allowed herself to look at him if he was not wearing his mask…now, it seems to add to the enigmatic beauty of who he is. It is mysterious and majestic; giving him an air of danger…even if he really is a pussy cat…"the last phrase was said with a wink and a squeeze to Christine's hand.

Christine squeezed her hand back and pulled Margarite in for a motherly hug. As the hug broke up, Christine said in a confident voice, "I do love him…what woman wouldn't?...There is so much that I need to say to him, but I am so nervous in his presence. I just hope that I can hold my composure when I see him again. I do not wish to make a fool of myself now that I know he is not a murderer and rapist."

Christine knew that there was nothing preventing her from giving her heart to Erik… except Raoul. "I have made my choice and I will resolve myself to it… but that does not change the fact that I am terribly attracted to Erik. What am I going to do? I find myself anticipating his presence with a butterfly stomach and sweaty palms!"

Christine implored Margarite to come up with a solution.

"Is Raoul aware of your conflicting feelings?" Margarite asked with a raised eyebrow.

Christine gently shook her head to the negative, "Only to the extent that it will not cause him pain, he need only know that I have deep feelings for Erik; that is all."

Margarite discerned the struggle that was going on inside Christine. "You will have the opportunity to set things right with Erik, this I guarantee. You must not let him know that you are in love with him." At Christine's open-mouthed gape, Margarite held up her hand to let her know that she was not done yet, "Yes, you are in love with him Christine. You have all the indicative signs of this…let him know that you are his best friend. This will allow you to remain in close proximity to him without suspicions growing that neither one of you need..." Margarite took both of Christine's hands in hers and folded them in her lap, she leaned in close to Christine, almost touching her forehead with her own, "You must promise to help me find the love of Erik's life. He will, undoubtedly, give up on the prospect of finding her."

This reminded Christine of another question she had, "Erik spoke of another woman that was in his life some time ago. All he said was that it ended tragically. Do you know anything about this?"

Christine waited with baited breath for what Margarite would say.

Margarite dropped her eyes and her voice became distant and melancholy, "He did love one other time… about 7 years ago."Margarite shivered visibly as a chill ran down her spine,"She was a lady of upper-class and thought Erik the most handsome man she had ever seen. She could not get over the mask though. No matter how many times he explained that it covered a deformity, a hideous one at that, she insisted that he show her."

Margarite paused, "Let me go back a bit, Erik was head-over-heals in love with her; but like with you, he never pressed the issue. He treated her like a queen, but never ventured to kiss her or hold her for fear she would be repulsed by him. Whenever he held her hand, it was always with gloves on."

Christine thought on that for a minute, remembering that never, until Don Juan, had he touched her without gloves on.

She gave a perplexing stare to Margarite who knew exactly what Christine was thinking, and tried to explain, "He is under the impression that his skin, in fact his whole body, is disgusting and no woman would want him to touch her…skin-to-skin...he has never been in my presence without them either, not since he was much, much younger."

Margarite rang her hands together, as if trying to feel Erik's hand in hers. "Lucy, that was her name, kept persisting and Erik finally gave in. One evening, while they were walking across a bridge in Venice, she would not leave him alone about it, saying that there was nothing that would make her hate him. Erik took every reserve that had built up inside him and pulled the mask from his face…Lucy was horrified. She backed away from him with disgust and malice on her face, the whole time calling him a 'monster' and 'demon'."

Margarite was crying as she relived the tragic story that had been told to her by Michél. He had been present as a chaperone, walking several steps behind them. "Erik was so distraught and turned from her to hide his face, Michél went over to Erik. She kept backing up and eventually was at the edge of the bridge and lost her footing, she fell over the side. Erik looked around just in time to see her falling and he jumped in after her."

Margarite closed her eyes as the visions of the tragedy and pain that Erik had wrestled with came back full force, "She probably would have survived the fall if there had not been rocks at the bottom…she was dead instantly…Erik was never the same after that. He blamed himself…"

Margarite looked at Christine and saw the pain in her eyes, tears flowing freely down her perfect cheeks.

Margarite spoke again, in a whisper filled with regret, "Guilt, black as death, set itself in his heart and it still rests there, in his eyes. His self-loathing and self-hatred are most evident when you look in his eyes."

Margarite took a brief moment to wipe her eyes and compose herself, "Her family tried to say that Erik had murdered her, and in his heart, he feels that he did. Thankfully, Michél witnessed the whole thing, as did one other person who was on the bridge at the time. All charges were dropped, but Erik came home a broken man…I thought…prayed…that you were the one who would mend his heart…"

Margarite brushed her fingers down Christine's cheek and gave her a sad smile, "but you were destined to wound him even more."

Christine could bear the pain no longer and sobbed in Margarite's loving arms. She wept for Erik, she wept for herself, she wept for the world; a world that had been robbed of the gifts that Erik possessed and had no idea what it was missing.

She was more determined than ever to be to Erik something that he never expected; a woman who was also his best friend. A woman who found him devastatingly attractive, even after seeing his deformity - something she had never told him. She would be a best friend that he could count on to be there for him as he had been for her. Someone he could confide in and with whom he could feel safe.

She would show him a new world; a world where he was loved and adored for all of his exceptional qualities, including his handsome face; a world where he could touch and be touched without the hindrance of leather…a world that finally gave him what he desired…everything he desired.

Christine showed Margarite to the door and bid her good night. She felt completely drained from the emotional rollercoaster she had been on all day. She pulled down the covers and eased into bed, blowing out the candle. She was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

**Chapter 10 preview – Best Friends**


	10. Chapter 10

A Place in This World

Another short, but very important chappy. Oh, and Michél is pronounced Mitch-el, when Erik shortens it, it is just pronounced Mitch. His importance will be revealed in due time also.

Along time ago in a galaxy far, far away…(no, I don't own "Star Wars" either)

CHAPTER 10

_Very early, the next morning_

Erik awoke to an incessant knocking. He could not remember the last time he had gotten such a good nights sleep. **(Who on earth could that be?)** Erik threw on his black silk robe over his black silk sleep pants, and donned his mask. Brushing his fingers though his thick hair, he stood at the door and asked in a booming voice, "Who is it?" Another knock was the reply. "Who is it?" Erik demanded, a decibel louder this time.

"It's me Erik, let me in." Erik relaxed upon hearing Michél's familiar voice.

He unfastened the locking mechanism and opened the door. Michél showed himself in as he moved past Erik and into the room. Michél stood about three inches shorter than Erik's 6'4 frame. Even at 46, he was a vigorous man with silver-tipped dark brown hair. His soft brown eyes had seen more than enough of their share of suffering, even before he meant Erik some twelve years ago. He was a loyal and trusted friend, the only one that Erik could truly say he had; he knew that Margarite was his friend, but even after 24 years, she still feared him.

"Honestly Erik, when I saw the headlines announcing your capture, I think I was on the verge of having a heart attack!" Michél always did have a flair for the dramatic. "What were you thinking?" Michél looked exasperated and more than a little perturbed. "Were you even going to let me know what self-destructive thoughts were brewing in that eccentric mind of yours?"

Erik stood maddeningly still, regarding him through sleepy eyes. "What…no explanation; no excuses?" Michél stubbornly glared at Erik with his arms crossed over his chest. Erik did not attempt to speak, but his mind was working quickly, **(I sure do miss this man when he is not here, the verbal bartering brings a rare smile to my heart.)** When the younger man did not attempt to reply, he threw his hands up in the air and hastily headed for the kitchen.

If there was anyone who made Erik laugh, it was Michél. He had a way of taking every situation and making it an event. He was the sanity that echoed in Erik's mind. Erik sat at the table and observed as Michél busied himself with breakfast.

Michél turned to Erik and spoke, "I owe you my life Erik; I will not stand around and allow you to destroy yours, especially over a woman." Michél pointed his finger at Erik, "A woman that I remember telling you was not for you; you need a woman who is every bit as strong willed as you. You need a woman who will issue you a challenge and love you with the same passion and conviction with which you love."

Michél turned back around and again focused on preparing breakfast. He turned to Erik again as another thought crossed his mind, a hint of mischief was on his face and evident in his next words, "Let's face it Erik, you just need a woman." Michél threw a wink at Erik and once again turned to prepare breakfast.

There was a long silence; a very deafening one. "Hello Mich, it is good to have you back." Erik's languid statement caused the older man to roll his eyes. Erik smirked, "You fuss at me like we are an old married couple." Erik stood up and made his way to Michél's side, casually draping his arm over Michél's shoulder, Erik replied, "You're really not my type, but I'm flattered." This was said with a raised eyebrow and more than a little mirth.

Michél turned to him and cracked a huge grin. "You will give me early gray hair Erik, never do this to me again."

Erik scanned the older man's hairline, "Early gray hair? It seems that someone beat me to that."

Both men laughed and Michél replied, "Ha, ha, Erik; very funny!"

They ate scrambled eggs and bacon and drank cup after cup of fresh brewed coffee. Neither man spoke until their plates were empty. Michél proudly scrutinized Erik's empty plate. "I think that is the first time in a long time that you have eaten that much." Erik gave a slight grin; his eyes once again cloaked in shadow, and Michél knew that he had decided to open up about the events that covered the last few days.

Erik left no details out as he painted the picture for Michél"I only wanted peace Mich, for the first time in my life…the only way that I could fathom to finally obtain it…was to let death have me…it is not the first time that I have attempted this, you are well aware of this fact."

Michél outwardly cringed as the images of Erik's five attempted suicides swept across his mental vision. "I had hoped and prayed that you were past that self-destructive phase."

Erik ignored Michél's words and doodled with an imaginary spot on the table, "All of my affairs are in order and my fortune is allocated as I want it. I knew that those I cared about would be taken care of…what reason did I have for remaining in this loathsome body?"

Erik lifted his eyes from the unseen object and peered at Michél"The fact that you were not here, made my decision that much easier to make…I knew that you would try and talk me out of it."

This was said matter-of-factly and Michél just shook his head, he was shaken by the thought that if Margarite had not found the evidence in Erik's lair, Erik would be dead and Michél would be grieving the loss of one the best men he had ever had the privilege of knowing.

Michel chokingly replied, "Well, thank God that somebody else was there to do that for me. If Margarite had not found that journal and those letters, I would have returned to an entirely different scenario; one I don't care to dwell on."

Michél got up and went around the table, he placed his hand on Erik's shoulder and knelt down beside him, "Would you have really died for these crimes Erik? Would you have let them hang you, knowing that you were not guilty?"

Erik was silent for what seemed like an eternity, he finally shifted in his chair and looked at Michél with distant eyes, "I am guilty Mich. Guilty of ruining lives with my presence; guilty of being jealous and coveting those things which will never be mine…" Erik again focused on the table, "Guilty of thinking that I could actually have a place in this world…who was I fooling?"Erik looked away, disgusted by his own stupidity. "...The answer is yes...I would have gladly died at the hands of the French government."

Michél felt tears stinging his eyes. The thought of Erik just yielding himself to the authorities for no other reason than that he felt overwhelming guilt for things he had no control over, cut him to the core**. (I almost lost him…thank you God for seeing fit to rescue him from the snares of the devil. Erik has suffered enough in this lifetime; help me Lord…help me to help him find what it is he seeks.)**

Michél addressed Erik with amusement in his voice, "Are you even curious about the information that I gathered while I was away?" Erik's head snapped up and his face quickly took on an interested look. Michél's eyes danced with joy, "It seems, my friend, that you are indeed Scottish by birth."

**Chapter 11 preview – Hunting for Erik**


	11. Chapter 11

A word of explanation, when you see (these) around a statement, it means that the person is thinking to themselves. The other sign that I was using was not showing up. Hope that helps.

I know, this chappy is lame. I needed to embellish a little – humor me.

Let my Opera begin…

CHAPTER 11

Christine and Margarite shared a simple, quiet, rather late breakfast the next morning. They were both preoccupied with echoes from last nights revealing conversation. Margarite glanced over the morning paper and came across an article that sparked her interest; she began to read aloud, causing Christine to take notice…

INSPECTOR DUBOIS, ONE OF PARIS' FINEST, TOLD REPORTERS YESTERDAY THAT THE MAN KNOWN AS THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, WAS NO LONGER BEING HELD BY AUTHORITIES. EVIDENCE WAS DISCOVERED THAT CLEARED HIM OF ALL CHARGES. APPARENTLY, THE CULPRIT WAS A FELLOW OPERA EMPLOYEE WHO HAD MADE THREATS ON THE PHANTOM AND HAD CARRIED OUT ALL THE MURDERS AND RAPES THAT THE PHANTOM HAD BEEN ACCUSED OF. THE EVIDENCE WAS WRITTEN IN THE HAND OF THE CULPRIT AND REVEALED DETAILED WRITINGS ABOUT THE CRIMES HE HAD COMMITTED AND THOSE HE INTENDED TO CARRY OUT ON THE PHANTOM.

INSPECTOR DUBOIS REFUSED TO COMMENT ON THE WHEREABOUTS OF THE PHANTOM. HE DID TELL US, HOWEVER, THAT HIS NAME IS ERIK AND HE WAS THE MAN RESPONSIBLE FOR COMPOSING, DESIGNING, AND ORCHESTRATING MANY OF THE MORE POPULAR OPERAS THAT HAVE BEEN PERFORMED AT THE OPERA POPULAIR OVER THE LAST SEVERAL YEARS.

INSPECTOR DUBOIS HAD THIS TO SAY ABOUT THE ELUSIVE PHANTOM_, "HE IS A BRILLIANT MUSICIAN AND COMPOSER, AS WELL AS A BEING A GENIUS IN MANY OTHER AREAS. HE WAS WILLING TO DIE FOR CRIMES HE DID NOT COMMITT. HUMANITY, AS A WHOLE, HAS REFUSED TO ACCEPT HIM BECAUSE HE WEARS A MASK. YES, THE MASK DOES COVER UP A DEFORMITY THAT HAS CLAIMED THE RIGHT SIDE OF HIS FACE. AT THIS TIME, WE ARE NOT SURE IF HE WAS BORN WITH THIS DEFORMITY OR IT WAS FORCED UPON HIM BY OTHER CIRCUMSTANCES…WE DO HOPE TO FIND SOME ANSWERS…I AM PROUD TO CALL HIM MY FRIEND."_

THERE YOU HAVE IT. ERIK, THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA; WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE TO CALL HIM, HAS COME OUT OF HIDING, WHETHER BY CHOICE OR CIRCUMSTANCES, I AM NOT SURE. THIS REPORTER IS ANXIOUS TO GET A FACE TO FACE INTERVIEW WITH THE MAN THAT HAS BECOME SOMEWHAT OF AN ICON IN PARIS. NOW THAT THE RECORD HAS BEEN SET STRAIGHT, LET'S GET TO KNOW THE MAN, HIS MUSIC, AND HIS GENIUS.

Margarite put the paper down and regarded Christine with a indomitable stare, _"Do you feel like taking a ride into town?...I need to see Inspector DuBois and find out where Erik is."_ Christine's stomach lurched at the possibility that she may see Erik today, but her look portrayed none of this; all she did was indicate "yes" with a nod of her head and prepared to leave. As they moved for the door, a knock interrupted their determined pace, Margarite irritably pulled the door open to reveal Raoul holding the morning paper up for them to see. _"Have you seen this?"_ he asked. Margarite gently pushed him aside so she and Christine could get out the door. _"Yes Raoul, we have seen it. We are on our way to see Inspector DuBois and learn where Erik is staying…care to join us?"_ The last phrase was said over her shoulder as Margarite proceeded to put herself in the carriage that Raoul had come in. Christine pulled herself into it also and Raoul had no choice but to follow.

Raoul was once again perusing the contents of the paper. _"It seems that Erik has made a friend of the authorities."_ Both ladies glanced at each other, something that Raoul could not see as his face was buried in the paper. _"I am curious as to why he did not come directly to you when he was released, Margarite."_ Raoul had a distant look in his eyes as he tried to piece together the mystery of Erik's behavior. _"I would think that you would be the first person he would contact."_ Margarite meant Raoul's gaze with an equal amount of curiosity. _"That is something that I intend to ask him, Raoul…although…I think I know the answer,"_ her voice drifted off as she thought about his actions.

The carriage came to a stop in front of Inspector DuBois' residence. It was Saturday, and Margarite knew that he would not be working. All three people made their way up the walk. Unbeknownst to them, Albert watched them proceed through the curtained window to the left of his front door. He allowed them to knock softly before gently easing the door open. He graced them with a friendly smile and showed them into his humble dwelling. _"I knew it would not take long for you to me Margarite…I am surprised that it took this long."_ He had a teasing lilt in his voice that made Margarite's heart skip a beat. _"I felt it was important that I leave you to do your job, Albert. I knew that you would do what was right."_ Christine and Raoul watch the exchange of pleasantries between the older couple. Christine saw the glow on Margarite's face and glint in her eyes and knew that there was more to this relationship than just mutual respect and friendship.

They had all moved into the quaint parlor and were seated around an antique table that was beautifully ornate. _"I have never meant a man who has so much to offer the world of the arts, and yet, is so determined to rid the world of his presence."_ Albert glanced at the faces around him, _"His only thoughts were of others. He was unwavering in his resolve to make sure that those he loved did not have to endure his presence any longer." _Albert relayed as much of the previous days events to his guests as he could remember. _"How could any one have thought him heartless?"_ Albert shook his head as the sadness of wasted years enclosed him_. "I would not allow him to wallow in self-destruction any longer; I literally pulled him out of the jail cell and carried him to the hotel. I was instructed to buy him a new wardrobe, but he would not allow it. He paid for everything himself. I was instructed to order a catered meal from The Colliér and have it sent to the Magistrate's office for dinner with Erik at 6:30."_ Albert paused only long enough to take a sip of wine, _"The dinner went very well and Erik was offered a position with the police as a spy…which he turned down. This morning, very early, I hear a knock on my door and a man of about 50 stands there wanting information about Erik. I recognize him from your description Margarite, and I know that it is Michél. I told him where Erik was staying…the rest you know."_

_"We need to know where he is also, Albert,"_ Margarite stated. _"We all have things we would like to say to him."_ Albert thought about what he had heard Erik say, _"I am sure that he intends to come to you before he leaves, he said as much." _Margarite was not sure if she had heard him correctly, _"Leaves…where is he going?"_ Albert realized that he had not mentioned the help he had offered Erik, _"Monsieur Grévy offered the services of his cousin at Scotland Yard. He will help Erik find out about his past…Erik indicated that he would be leaving for London within the next few days."_ Margarite was not sure how to react to this new information. She was a little put out with Albert for allowing these services to be offered, but she knew that it was important to Erik. She would wait for him to come to her

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

A Place in This World

"…**and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes." Morpheus (nope, don't own "The Matrix" either)**

CHAPTER 12

Erik had also seen the morning paper and found it rather amusing that the Inspector said such "nice" things about him. He spoke to the walls, as Michél was busy in another part of the suite, "I gave him permission to give a statement on my behalf and even reveal my name, but he sure did embellish on my persona."

Erik glided out of the chair, dropped the paper on the table, and began retrieving items from around the hotel room. He still was unsure about how to react to everything going on around him. He was cautious…very cautious.

Michél was packing up Erik's new belongings and readying for the stop at Margarite's. He had informed Erik that, although he still did not have many details, the few memories from his childhood that plagued Erik appeared to be authentic. In the recesses of his mind, Erik remembered the people around him. Their faces were blurry, he had been very young; but the accents were very distinct. Erik, being the genius that he is, could mimic the accent perfectly. Michél traced that accent to Scotland, and through a series of question and answer sessions with some of the locals, had managed to procure some interesting information about a situation that uncannily resembled Erik's plight. If nothing else, it was a start.

The men headed downstairs. As Michél hailed a carriage, Erik proceeded to the front desk to pay the bill; completely oblivious to the patrons who were observing his graceful, and now, all too familiar form. The ecstatic concierge refused payment. It was an honor to have the Phantom paying homage to his humble establishment – the stay was on the house. Erik was flabbergasted and stood there with an amazed look on his face. He had no experience with such kindness. He simply bowed in an elegant manner, thanked the young man, and with a swish of his cape, headed out the front doors – with many eyes, female eyes, watching with admiration.

"What?" Michél inquired, curiously noticing the somewhat baffled look on Erik's face.

Erik replied with stunned scrutiny, "They would not let me pay for the room…they said it was an honor to have the Phantom pay homage to their establishment…that is so…peculiar." Erik was at a loss for words, something that very seldom happened with him.

Michél smirked at the disbelief he saw in Erik's face, "You have become an overnight sensation Erik, enjoy it. The city is going to be paying you the respect they feel they owe you…let them; you deserve it."

Erik felt a gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach, experience told him that this was nerves…or maybe he was getting sick"I just don't want to draw attention to myself…I liked being invisible…I was comfortable being invisible."

Michél patted Erik on the back and tried to give him a measure of comfort, "Time to move on Erik, that part of your life is over and you need to put it behind you. Let's go to Margarite's and determine from there what our next move will be. All right?"

Erik gave a restrained smile and pulled himself into the carriage with Michél coming in close behind him. "Alright old friend…" Erik gave a sincere squeeze to the older man's shoulder, "Thank you Mich; thank you for always being there…even when I made it quite clear that I did not want you there."

The older man just smiled and nodded, the whole time thinking to himself, **(There is no where else I would rather be, my friend, no where else.)**

XXXXXXXXX

Margarite, Raoul, and Christine arrived back at Margarite's home and each took up a different activity. Margarite picked up some knitting she had been working on for some time, Christine curled up on the settee and read a book, and Raoul began penning a letter to his family, letting them know that he would be taking some time for traveling. He knew a letter would be better received than if he were there in person letting them know this; they would not be happy.

He had talked with Margarite on the way home and they had decided that they would accompany Erik on his quest, even though he was sure that Erik would disagree with this decision. They were all anxious to find out more about him, more than he had allowed them to know about him. Even Margarite felt that there were many facet's of the man's personality that she was not familiar with. He was as much an enigma to her as he was to everyone else. **(This will prove to be an interesting journey, to say the least)** Raoul thought to himself.

Raoul was slightly uneasy about being in such close proximity to Erik. He was not sure how the man was going to react. He would just have to make sure that he assured Erik that he was sincere in his desire to help him. Christine was sure to be an issue between them, but Raoul was willing to overcome any hard feelings that may have surfaced. **(That could be because she left with you, Raoul. He was left to pick up the pieces of his shattered heart and go on…and he chose to die…what would you have done man, if the rolls were reversed?)**

Raoul shook his thoughts away and continued with his letter. His father would be especially disappointed. The Comté was not pleased with his youngest son. Just the fact that Raoul dared to court a "showgirl" made him livid. Raoul was not at all certain that he would be allowed to marry Christine when all was said and done. His father had even had the audacity to suggest that he marry Lady Bridgette Danté and keep Christine as a mistress.

(FLASHBACK)

Reanu de Chagny sat formidably in his stately leather chair. Raoul always felt the weight of his father's disappointment descending on him,"It's done my boy, all the time. You marry within your class; Lady Bridgette is a lovely choice, she is eager to grace your arm."

Reanu scrutinized his young son as Raoul lifted his chin in a stubborn manner,"You are of the aristocracy Raoul; take Christine as your mistress, which is what her kind is for."Raoul could here the disdain dripping from every word that his father spoke; he disliked Christine simply because he judged her unworthy of the status that a marriage to Raoul would grant her.

"Bridgette is your public face and Christine is your private pleasure…" The last was said with a wink and an elbow to Raoul's side as the elder de Chagny prepared to leave the room, "…don't do anything that will cost you your inheritance and reputation my boy, think before you act…you're mother approved this union years ago…but times have changed and you need to marry into wealth."

Raoul stared at his father in shocked horror,"You do not have much of an inheritance left. After your mother died, the money just seemed to disappear; and this Opera fiasco you want to finance is unsettling, just be careful."

This is the first that Raoul had heard about the financial problems of his family,"Christine is just not good enough for you. Don't disappoint me once again, Raoul; you only have so many times to do so before…" His voice had trailed off as his rotund form exited the room, but Raoul new the threat…it was all too familiar.

(END FLASHBACK)

With those words, Raoul's father left him standing there, questioning for the first time whether marrying Christine was the wisest choice he could make. Those doubts still lingered in the back of Raoul's mind. What was he going to do? He would take this trip and see how things unfolded. Maybe the answers would present themselves.

XXXXXXXXXX

Everyone heard the knock on the door, even though it was not very loud. Margarite put her knitting down and headed for the hallway. When she opened the door, the sun behind him engulfed the tall, broad-shouldered man before her in a halo of incandescent light. Even though she could not she his face, Margarite instinctively knew that the angel-like figure was Erik. Her heart skipped a beat as she peered up at him through squinted eyes. Her smile was radiant as the wrapped her arms around his slender waist. Erik stiffened at this simple sign of affection, but allowed her the moment.

Margarite spoke in a quiet tone, relishing the feel of him beneath her hands"Erik, it is so good see and touch you. I am so thankful that the evidence was found that proved your innocence."

His chest muffled the words she spoke, as her head rested in his pristine shirt. His arms gingerly embraced her and she could not remember feeling so safe, not since her husband died. She breathed in the scent of him, admiring the clean, fresh, masculine fragrance that was Erik. She reluctantly pulled away from his strong arms and took a gloved hand, much like a mother guiding a wayward child down an unknown path.

Michél observed the exchange between surrogate mother and adopted son. He remembered better times, when Erik was younger; he sought Margarite out when he had lost his way and needed a shoulder to cry on or a receptive ear. He wanted her approval and love, knowing that he deserved none of the kindness she had shown him. She was only a few years older than Erik was, but Erik had never seen her as anything other than a mother figure; a mother he had been robbed of at a very early age.

Michél knew that Margarite had developed deeper feelings for Erik as he matured into an attractive man, but she relinquished those feelings when it was obvious that Erik did not feel the same. Michél was certain that Erik had no idea that she ever looked at him in a romantic way; Erik never ventured to dream that a woman would ever love him. Even going into this fiasco with Christine, Erik did not expect her to love him; the most he hoped for was that she would be able to tolerate him.

Michél grabbed the luggage and followed Margarite and Erik into the foyer. His thoughts were a jumbled mess as he contemplated what the future held.

Erik and Margarite stopped directly in front of him as she placed a restraining hand on Erik's arm. "Erik, before you go into the parlor I want you to know that Christine and Raoul are here."

Erik tried not to react to her words, but fire flared into his eyes, making them appear to be even a deeper shade of green. "They came in yesterday evening after hearing about your arrest. Christine apparently felt that she needed to be here for you…and Raoul…." Margarite did not really know how to tell Erik about Raoul's change of heart. "…Raoul wants to make amends with you…he somehow deduced that you were not a murderer and rapist after looking into your eyes. He has a reputation for being a good judge of character, Erik. Give him a chance before you pass judgment on him."

Erik's strained look caused Margarite to regard him with tenderness; a look she hoped would not be mistaken for pity. "I know that you are hurting; Lord knows that you have had more than your share of pain in this world…Christine does care about you Erik; probably more than she ever thought possible. Her feelings are confusing to her, especially since you are not the monster she was led to believe that you were."

Erik stood eerily still, staring just over Margarite's head at the winding staircase that led to the upper rooms. His next statement made Margarite's blood run cold. He spoke so matter-of-factly that Margarite chilled at the indifference in his tone, "But I am a monster…I have never been anything but…"

Margarite started to reprimand him, but Erik just continued without letting her, "I know Margarite;…I know…you have tried to convince me otherwise, but my actions in the past speak for themselves."

Erik rested both of his gloved hands on Margarite's shoulders; she knew he was referring to his obsession and subsequent abduction of Christine. The self-loathing she heard in his voice made her long to cleanse his soul of every dark blemish that resided there, placed by the world and its prejudices and held there firmly by Erik's fortitude. He looked down at her with hollow eyes.

"I let her go…neither on of them have anything to fear from me…they never really did." Erik noticed that Margarite was on the verge of tears. He squeezed her shoulder in assurance, "I never would have hurt either of them." Erik dropped his hands and gave a sad smile, "I laid my trump card and Christine called my bluff…I was desperate for someone to give me companionship and I wanted her to be the one to give it to me…I would have taken nothing more."

Erik drifted back in time to the immense sexual energy that had coursed through his inexperienced body at the thought of Christine yielding to him on that level, but he knew it would never be…not for him. "It would have been nice, but I would have never forced her to endure my touch…in any manner."

He dropped weary eyes so that they rested on Margarite, but he didn't really see her, "The kiss she gave me will haunt me forever…my first and only kiss; used as leverage to set Raoul free…" Erik's voice trailed off as he gave in to the absolute loneliness that had consumed him for years.

"Now I know what I have been missing all my life…and I will never have it again."Margarite had never heard such longing and utter emptiness in anyone's voice, "When it hit me that she would give up her life, literally; for any life she had would have come to an abrupt end when she faced an eternity with me…she would sacrifice herself for him...I knew I had to let her go. She loved him enough to become a living sacrifice…"

Erik allowed the pent up tears to roll languidly down his weary face, he had never felt as old as did at that moment. "…and I love her too much to condemn her to my world."

He wiped his tears away with a shaky hand and strode past Margarite, headed for the parlor. Margarite stood in silence, watching his straight, muscular back recede. Her thoughts turned heavenward, pleading with God to grant Erik the life he both deserved and desired.

How was he going to do this? Seeing Christine again, so soon after letting her go…his heart still reverberated with the sting of her rejection. Erik cautiously turned the corner into the parlor as Michél and Margarite followed just a few steps behind. Erik kept his eyes cloaked from their inquisitive looks as he made his way to the couch. He could feel the heat of their eyes on him as he settled into a comfortable position.

Christine and Raoul inched their way to the small circle of furniture in front of the fireplace. They both sat on the couch opposite of Erik; Margarite and Michél sat down in the two Queen Anne chairs in the middle, between the two couches. The air was pregnant with unspoken sentiments; no one seemed anxious to talk.

Christine cherished the vision before her. Erik looked so dashing with his dark hair loose and wavy; it framed his handsome face, making him look younger than she had ever seen him look. His strong frame folded elegantly on the couch; he had the look of a predatory cat lounging in the solitary ray of sunshine on an otherwise dreary day. The suit that he sported, modeled perfectly on his tall, lithe form; was expensively tailored.

It occurred to her that she had never seen him when he wasn't "The Phantom", or her "Angel of Music". Now, in the light of day, he seemed like a man she would be interested in knowing. He was a blank page on which she could write her own opinion of him, without others manipulating her thoughts.

Other than the night of "Hannibal", when Erik lulled her down to his lair, she hadn't been given the opportunity to know him; at that time, she had been frightened of him but also terribly attracted to him. That was the same night that Raoul had come back into her life. He hand monopolized the majority of her time, forcing her to abandon her "angel" and focus her attention on him.

How might things have been different if she'd been allowed to spend time getting to know Erik? She knew that her father and Raoul's mother had made her choice years ago, but she prayed that Erik would allow her to remain in his life. She could not bear to not see and be around him. Christine's thoughts turned to Raoul; how was he going to react to Erik?

Raoul considered himself a strong and courageous man, normally. He was fair and open-minded and people trusted him; but the man before him caused him to reassess his opinion about himself. He had been so anxious to gain Christine's affections, that he had almost destroyed an already wounded individual.

When Raoul looked at Erik, he saw a man whose entire life had been spent trying to prove to others that he had a right to live and breathe the same air that everyone else did. He wrote some the most awe-inspiring music that Raoul had ever had the privilege of hearing; and yet, Erik did not seem to be at all impressed with himself. Raoul saw a man who had never been given a proper chance in life because others, including him, had written Erik off as a beast with murdering intent; a sub-human creature to be dealt with like one deals with an obstinate animal.

Raoul had not seen nor felt any hatred coming from Erik; he had expected to have to defend himself in a verbal onslaught with the genius mind before him; and he knew he would have come up short. Instead, the object of Raoul's thoughts sat deathly still, not making eye contact with anyone. Raoul pondered what Erik was thinking.

**Chapter 13 preview – Tense conversations**


	13. Chapter 13

A Place in This World

Thank you to those of you who continue to read my drivels. I appreciate the kind words. I NEED MORE, MORE I SAY – MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

If you are reading my story but have not yet submitted a review, please do so at the sound of the beep…"beep". Thank you.

Once again, I own nothing except all original characters. Unfortunately, I do not own Christine, Margarite (except for the name), Raoul, or Erik; or the man whose portrayal of Erik brought him to life for me, Gerry Butler. (I've gone to my happy place…carry on…)

CHAPTER 13

Erik did not know what to make of the situation. He was seldom made to feel vulnerable, nor was he often left speechless. At this moment, he was experiencing both sensations and neither one was pleasant. He mustered up all of the confidence in himself that he could and fancied a look at the two lovers before him. He had never noticed how good they looked together; two beautiful people beginning a journey together…Erik actually wanted them to have a good life. Two sets of eyes meant his gaze as Christine and Raoul both looked at him.

Erik refused to let the situation allow him to feel threatened or dejected, he had come too far in the last couple of days to let his past consume him. He had had enough of feeling victimized and disconsolate. He wanted nothing more than to remove himself from the human race and live in seclusion for the rest of his days…but he knew this was not to be. He had tried that road…and it only led to the brink of agonizing insanity and piercing loneliness. Life, and everything that came with it was staring him full in the face and he must take it on with the full knowledge that he was now a part of the human race, whether he wanted to be or not.

With courage that belied her trembling heart, Christine ventured to speak, "Why Erik?" Christine peered deep into the alluring, green, abyss that was Erik's gaze; in it, she saw regret and pain such as she had never seen.

He visibly trembled with self-loathing as she continued. "Why would you allow yourself to take the blame for crimes that you did not commit...and then allow all of us, those who love and care about you, to go on thinking the worst about you?"

Christine took note of the sneer on Erik's face at the mention of others loving and caring about him. She stored it away and decided to address that subject another time

"Whether you believe it or not Erik, I do care deeply about you and your welfare. The feelings I have for you would be considered love if it was any other woman before you…but it is me…and my love was given to Raoul 13 years ago by my father and his mother."Christine saw the look of interest on Erik's face,"They betrothed us to one another when I was three and Raoul was 16…I remembered this, but thought that Raoul was lost to me after my father died…I never dreamt that he would come back into my life." Christine took Raoul's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. She knew that it must be difficult for Raoul to hear her admit that she had deep feelings for Erik; and that those feelings were feelings of love.

Erik watched her hand caress Raoul's hand and felt a familiar foreboding creeping into his heart. He jerked his eyes painfully away from the show of affection before him. He was still pushing the bile back down to his throat when Christine spoke, "You still have not answered my question Erik…why?"

Erik sat reservedly still. His eyes were shadowed so that Christine could not see his pain. His voice was steady yet stern, "I do not feel that I owe an explanation to anyone… especially you."

He began to stand but was stopped by a small, firm hand on his arm and a pleading whisper, "Erik, I do not want there to be this distance between us…"

Erik stood rigidly straight as he vehemently turned on Christine. Raoul was momentarily rendered speechless. Erik, through clenched teeth; spat out at her in a disdainfully whispered tone, "What did you expect Christine...did you expect me to just curl up and lay at your feet like a good little dog…to come crawling back to you on all fours like the beast that I am and beg your forgiveness?"

Erik held himself tenaciously away from Christine, visibly shaking with unrelenting rage. Why should he explain anything to her? Her very presence made him feel vulnerable and exposed, two feelings he abhorred; especially in reference to himself. Erik forced his volatile anger to subside; he had never been physically violent towards a woman, and he was not about to start now.

Raoul was amazed at how controlled Erik was; he had seen him express explosive anger and then suppress it by shear will. Raoul was impressed.

Erik was astonished by Christine's reaction to his anger. Several days ago, she would have recoiled away from him and begun crying and shaking uncontrollably.

The new, and (he supposed) improved Christine just stood her ground and allowed him to vent his frustration. She did have tears in her eyes, but they were from the shock of hearing the self-loathing words that Erik used to describe himself.

The pools forming in her eyes spilled over and ran down her porcelain cheeks. "I am so sorry Erik,"Christine sobbed and her shoulders shook. "Sorry for betraying you, sorry for not believing in you; sorry for not listening to my own heart telling me that you were not all the horrible things that everyone said you were. I knew my heart would never allow me to love a man whose soul was evil and whose hands were covered in blood."

When he began to turn from her she spoke more forcefully, "I…I find it so hard to comprehend that a man as intellectually stimulating and physically attractive as yourself would ever hate himself as much as you hate yourself."

Erik scowled at the words she spoke, but Christine cautiously put her had to Erik's sculptured cheek; when he did not pull away from her touch, she boldly caressed it, "I want to know you Erik…you…not the Phantom or the Opera Ghost…you. For instance, I never knew you had such thick, wavy hair; why do you keep it slicked back?...and your eyes are the color of raging clouds in a summer thunderstorm…– such an exquisite mix of every shade of green…"

Christine; so enthralled by the shear beauty of the man before her; moved her hand to his lips and gently slid her thumb over their exquisite softness,"and your mouth…" Christine's eyes caressed his mouth much like her thumb did; she smiled, lost in joy, "Erik- it's perfect; with your full, sensuous lips..."Christine was slowly leaning into Erik as though she expected their lips to meet…she wanted their lips to meet.

Erik moved slowly back from her; seeing the shocked look on Raoul's face. With his reluctant retreat, Christine was able to gain control again, "I have never seen you held by the warmth of light…you have always remained shadowed."She grudgingly removed her hand from Erik's warm cheek,_ "_Don't hide anymore Erik, you're too beautiful." Erik dropped his stunning eyes and hid his face from her.

Her words were everything he had always wanted to here, especially from a woman; but he knew they were not true, she only said them to make him feel better about himself. It had never worked before; it wasn't working now. "Everything I have been made to believe about you is based on lies. I refuse to let my opinion of you be influenced by outside sources anymore; that includes your own misguided and misinformed beliefs about yourself." She gently guided him back to the couch and indicated for him to please sit; Raoul sat in the chair next to the couch as Christine took a seat next to Erik.

It was at this time that Michél made his way into the room and motioned for Raoul to join him in the kitchen. Raoul seemed a bit hesitant, but knew that he must trust Christine. He excused himself with a formal bow and left the room, ushered out by Michél. Christine and Erik both watched him go; both had completely different thoughts running through their heads. Erik could not believe that Raoul would leave him here alone with Christine, knowing that Erik still desired her. Christine could not believe that she had been given this opportunity to speak freely.

Christine scooted closer to Erik and put a gentle finger to his adorable cleft chin and lifted his longing eyes to hers. "There is no fear of you in me Erik. When I thought you a murderer and rapist, yes, I feared you…everyone did. Now, I have an aching need to know the real you. The man that has lived a tortured and painful life and yet…can create masterpieces with such beauty, that people are reduced to tears. Masterpieces of music and art; structures, design, sculptures, clothes… masterpieces created by your hands and brought to life by the voice of an angel…" as she said the last statement, Christine timidly grasped Erik's hands and began taking off the gloves.

When the fine leather was removed, Christine entwined her dainty fingers with his long, masculine, well-groomed fingers and marveled at the shear beauty of them. "These hands should never be covered; they are masculine and sensuous; capable of making a woman think and feel sinful things when they caress her…"

Christine pulled her eyes seductively up from his hands and looked into the languid pools of green that stared back at her in stunned silence; he was both surprised and proud of the way that Christine broached such an intimate subject with him.

Her next words sent his senses reeling, "like they have caressed me."

She smiled; a beguiling mix of woman and child. She reflected back on the sensuous, forbidden way her body reacted to Erik's touch. She remembered how she longed for it to continue but was horrified that she would want the physical touch of a murderer and rapist.

Her thoughts bought a nervous giggle to her throat, "Especially now, I find your touch to be heaven on earth."

Erik disengaged his hands from hers and gently sat her away from him. "What are you doing Christine? Do not play games with me…I am no schoolboy... Although I am sure that what you are saying is what you believe I want to hear," Erik stated, "I am not a fool. I am no longer driven by obsession and blind rage and I have been hiding behind them for too long. I know how you reacted to me… it was exactly as I intended you to react to me…and there is a logical explanation for why an angel, such as yourself, would allow a monster like me within ten feet of her."

Even with his inexperience in matters of the heart, he knew that she was still very leery of the intensity of her reaction to him; a reaction, he was certain, had been induced by his hypnotic voice and exceptional skills of illusion. He would not allow her to continue to think that he produced these feelings in her on his own physical prowess

He continued with his assessment of the situation, "The touch that you seem so eager to endure… that touch was forced on you by my voice and skills as an illusionist. I exercised power over you that I never should have…you would have never succumbed to me of your own free will… especially after seeing my atrocious face…I violated you in the worst of ways Christine. I am guilty of the worst crime of all, I raped your mind by placing unwanted and unreal desire for me within it…I took advantage of your youth and trust; making you see me as something I am not…a virile, viable suitor worthy of your attention."

Erik closed his eyes and dropped his head, hating himself for deceiving her. "I see how you look at Raoul…I know that you love him." Erik lifted his head and went on, not giving Christine a chance to speak or retaliate in any way"He is a good man, worthy of you…he is courageous and strong; handsome and refined…things I will never be."

Christine started to interrupt but Erik continued on, ignoring the slight sound of her voice, "Your love for Raoul is a lasting, lingering love…a love that will take you into the future. There is no deception or dishonesty in his love for you…or your love for him...it is pure; unadulterated. It is the kind of love that inspires arias and symphonies. It is what you deserve…the very best. I knew even before I pursued you that I was not worthy of you…of anyone…"

Erik lowered his eyes to prevent Christine from seeing the pain that was ever present in them, "…no one deserves to be exposed to me; physically or mentally. All I can do is beseech you for your forgiveness…I must separate myself from my past and leave you, and all I have held dear for so long, behind…"

He lifted Christine's chin with his finger, she had lowered her head as tears began to glide down her face, "…I know this Christine…I have accepted it and am ready to move on. Death would have been a welcome friend; but, once again, I do not get my way in this matter; I must continue to reside within this rotting carcass and attempt to make a new life for myself." Erik's voice trembled with emotion.

Christine noted the use of the words "once again", and wondered if Erik had attempted suicide or come close to death at other times. The thought scared her immensely.

Erik's lulling voice drug Christine out of her thoughts. "I am tired of hurting those that I love…it seems to be something I am very good at. I face a future, devoid of companionship, with familiarity and assurance. Loneliness and despair have long been my faithful and true friends."

Erik's beautiful eyes were shrouded in pain and tears were weaving their way down his sorrow-filled face. The hatred he felt for himself was evident in the way he held himself.

He continued through clenched teeth and balled fists, "I will never again use my voice or skills as an illusionist to seduce and entice a woman into accepting me into her life and heart…I will not pursue love, or even friendship; I know that these joys are not intended for a monster like me."

The last words were said with such contempt, that Christine flinched away from them as though they struck her. Erik did not give Christine a chance to respond, as he turned and headed for the door, leaving her with tears in her eyes and pain in her heart. Christine was unaware of the ears that were listening. She stood in stunned shock, realizing that the conversation had not gone at all like she had hoped it would.

Raoul had grown increasingly nervous as he pondered what Christine and Erik were discussing. He knew what the issues were and he trusted Christine…and…reluctantly, he had to admit that he trusted Erik. He had heard a slight rise in the volume of the talking at certain times, and he stood just outside the door, behind the wall so that they could not see him. He could hear a great deal of the conversation, for they had moved closer to the door every time that Erik had attempted to leave.

Erik made his way for the door and surprised Raoul by turning the corner to find him listening. Erik raised his perfect eyebrow and regarded Raoul; his face gave no indication of the thoughts going through his mind. Raoul looked down at his feet in shame, attempting to come up with some excuse for being there. Erik pushed any irritation he may have felt aside, swept past Raoul, and headed for the kitchen; rendering the subject closed.

**Chapter 14 preview – Making amends **


	14. Chapter 14

A Place in This World

CHAPTER 14

Erik entered the kitchen and all eyes were on him. Christine and Raoul came in directly behind him. Erik, attempting to speak to no one, went up to Michél and placed a firm hand on his shoulder. Michél could see the remains of the tears that Erik had shed; they left scars of their own. The pain buried deep inside of Erik was rearing its ugly head, as it seemed his whole body was held in an invisible vice.

Margarite gingerly approached him, "Why don't you just sit for a while, I have hardly had the chance to talk to you." Erik gave a weary smile and nodded, seating himself at the end of the small table; everyone present noticed how everything in the room dwarfed in his presence. "Would you like some tea, I have just made a fresh pot? I also have some fresh, warm, pound cake…let me get you a piece."

As Margarite busied herself in meeting Erik's nutritional needs, Erik, with a look of unbelief on his face, interjected"Margarite, you know that I do not consume food and beverages when there are others, around me…it is disgusting to most people knowing that I exist, let alone that I must take sustenance. The only one I have allowed to be around me when I am feeding is Michél."

Everyone noticed how Erik's reference to "feeding" made it sound like he was an animal. They were all stunned into utter silence. They had never heard of such thing.

Margarite and Christine both thought about the times they had spent in Erik's presence. Christine had been blessed enough to eat a meal that Erik prepared, just for her. It had been delicious; but she also remembered that he did not eat with her. He claimed he had already eaten.

The idea that he thought she would be repulsed by his eating…Christine had a huge knot in her throat that threatened to bring tears to her eyes. It seemed that there was no end to Erik's loneliness.

Margarite had never considered that this was the reason Erik never accepted any of the invitations to dine with her and Meg. He had cooked for them on many occasions; another one of the seemingly endless talents that he possessed. He had always dodged out before he was expected to eat; he had a pressing engagement or a deadline to meet. What horrible event had put this thought in his head?

"Erik, that is absurd. Who told you such a thing?" Raoul's words penetrated the thick silence.

Erik looked at the younger man, not fully understanding why he would question what society had deemed right.

Erik tried to keep the disdain out of his voice and hold it steady and unemotional, but the heat in his words made his attempt seem futile. "On the days that the Gypsies felt it necessary to feed me, they would place a pig trough in my cage and slop the mess into it. Fallon would say 'feeding time, demon,' and push my face into the slop. He would watch for a few moments and comment on how disgusting it was watching animals eat…"

The hate in Erik's voice was so palpable that everyone in the room felt it. "After Margarite rescued me, I had to learn to eat with proper utensils. It was awkward, but I managed. It is reiterated to me every time I enter a restaurant and have the audacity to think myself worthy to sit among humans. The scornful looks and hateful stares are bad enough, but when a man parades right up to you and asks that you leave because the sight of you eating is making his wife sick…that is enough to make me never want to be in public again…This has happened on more than one occasion. I won't do it again…besides, I only eat once or twice a week, I had hoped to starve to death by now."

The last statement came with a strained laugh, as though he wanted those around him to believe that he was joking; but his eyes said otherwise. Margarite gasped at this confession. No wonder he always seemed so thin. His face was much more gaunt now than when he was younger.

Erik felt Michél's gentle hand urging him to calm down. "Erik, you are among friends here; you seem to be the only one that is blind to that fact."

Erik sat deathly still for what seemed an eternity; he stood and methodically turned to leave.

Margarite's shaky voice halted his retreat, "Please Erik, join us for some tea and cake…you have to learn to trust others eventually; why not now…why not us?"

Margarite's questioning, pleading tone was almost more than Erik could tolerate. He was not ready to break down the walls around his heart. He was not ready to consider the possibility that someone in this world actually enjoyed his presence.

If he acknowledged any of this, he would be vulnerable again; his heart would be exposed and any one of the people before him could rip it out of his chest and once again render it useless. He must not allow this to happen… not again.

Margarite continued pleading quietly with Erik, "Erik, let us know you like Michél knows you. He has seen a side of you that no one else has seen…I know you share rare moments of laughter and humor with him. I've known you the longest and have only heard you laugh with pain covering the joy that should have been there."

She walked up and planted herself firmly in front of Erik. She instinctively knew that he was ready to flee the scene and head for safer ground; Erik had no choice but to plow her over or stand and hear what she said.

She stared him down, still stating her case, "I speak for all of us when I say that there is no one here who is disgusted by you in any way. We have all seen the part of you that you hide behind; personally, it only serves to emphasis the perfection of the rest of you."A perfect eyebrow creased, putting a scrutinizing look in Erik's expression, "You are the only one who puts your deformity up as a wall to keep you from letting anyone in."

Margarite caressed Erik's perfectly tailored sleeve; her voice was barely a whisper that only Erik could hear, "I know that you have been hurt Erik. Let us try to mend what we have broken…I feel as though no one betrayed you as deeply as I did."

Erik sharply raised his eyes to Margarite, questioning why she would say such a thing. Margarite raised the tone of her voice so that the others in the room could understand her. She made her way back around to her seat as Erik followed her with his eyes, turning his body as she moved.

Her words were soft and driven, "I have known you longer than anyone Erik...and I doubted your intentions and sanity. I watched you grow from a skinny, mal-nourished pre-teen to the sensuous, sensitive, gifted man that you are. I never once felt that you were evil or capable of any wrongdoing. I felt safe and happy in your presence and felt honored to observe your genius mind as you created your masterpieces and shared them with me. You were kind, gentle and tender with Meg when she was born…do you remember, you were her 'Berik'."

Erik allowed one of his beautiful, rare smiles to escape; its brilliance seemed to light up the room. Christine was in awe. She had never seen him smile like that. His teeth were straight and as white as snow. He was devastatingly attractive always, but when he smiled…he was breath taking!

"I had forgotten that she called me that…" Erik said, once again succumbing to Margarite's urgings and sitting back down

"She could not seem to leave the 'B' off… it was blissful to hear her say that name." His smile faded as he remembered why he had removed himself from Meg's memory.

His eyes took on a haunted glow as he delved into old, painful memories, "She was being teased by the other children. They found out that she had a 'friend' who wore a mask. I meant her after dance rehearsal one evening and they were all out in front talking to her; they saw me. They started making fun of **me** by mocking **her**. They called me a 'freak of nature' and a 'monster'. She tried to defend me, bless her heart, but they were unrelenting. I could not bear to see the pain that knowing me was causing her. I never went back to her. Now… she has no memory of me…accept as the Phantom."Erik mourned the loss of a relationship he had taken such joy in; "She was like the daughter I will never have…I had to let her go."

Margarite stood rigidly straight; she had not known why Erik refused to be around Meg anymore.

She thought that he had found he disliked children…now she knew the truth. "Oh Erik…I never knew. Why didn't you tell me?" Erik curved his lips up, attempting a nonchalant smile, but the pain was still there.

He ignored Margarite's question, choosing to change the subject, "You asked me earlier why I did not inform you of my innocence in the crimes of murder and rape. Why I let all of you think ill of me."

Erik's eyes glanced around the room, bereft of any visible emotion, "Would any of you have believed me? I mean really believed me? Would you have actually taken into consideration that the hideous monster; the gargoyle in the bowels of the opera house could actually be an innocent? Would you have believed that every time the opportunity arose for me to put myself in harms way, I did it? I know what others think about me…I so longed for Raoul's blade to end my wretched existence that day at the cemetery…it would have been so easy to allow it…"

Erik looked at Christine, his face a myriad of questions as to why she stopped Raoul that day. She meant his gaze with the deepest, saddest brown eyes; with them she spoke volumes about her deep affection for him, hoping he understood.

"You lost that sword fight on purpose, didn't you?" Christine's question hung in the air.

Raoul was the one to answer. "I am an excellent swordsman, but I know an expert when I see one…I felt you loosen your body and expose it to my thrusts. I saw you deliberately loose your footing and begin to stumble over things. I knew you were giving me the victory…I am so grateful that Christine stopped me…I hate to think…" Raoul's thoughts drifted into oblivion.

Erik refused to make eye contact with Raoul; he did not want the boy to regret any more than he already did. "I heard every word that each of you spoke behind my back. When you were in your rooms, or on the rooftops; on stage and in the dressing rooms; I heard it all. I witnessed crimes and acts of passion that are only talked about behind closed doors or read about in books…I had dirty, little secrets on just about every person that passed through my opera house...why do you think that so many have wanted me dead?"

Erik was slightly amused at the gaping faces before him, all except Michél; he knew about the wealth of information locked away in Erik's mind. "As long as my enemies thought me capable of heinous crimes, I was left alone. It worked like a charm…up until the moment that I no longer cared about my safety."

Erik chanced a scan of the room's occupants. Each was deep in thought, either about what he had said about hearing everything they said or the secrets he possessed.

Erik sat down quietly and began to eat the cake that Margarite had placed in front of him. Quality cooking was something that had been lacking his life. When Michél was in town, he saw to it that Erik ate properly, even if it was sparingly. Erik savored the cake; and the tea seemed to calm his over extended nerves.

No one eyed him suspiciously while he ate and Erik began to feel a little more at ease, even daring to ask for a second helping of the cake. Margarite was delighted and could not stop smiling. Raoul and Christine were talking in hushed tones at the other end of the table and Margarite had left the table to clean up the kitchen.

Erik turned to Michél and quietly stated, "We shall need one more night at the hotel and then we will be away first thing in the morning…" Erik pulled his elaborate pocket watch from his left breast pocket, "…it is 5:30; I will give you some money and you may go purchase whatever you feel will be necessary for the trip, book the hotel…and find something for dinner." As Michél prepared to leave, Erik spoke again; this time there was a good bit of raw humor in this voice, "Oh, and Michél…insist on paying for the room. I really do not feel like being indebted to Paris…for any reason."

Michél left the kitchen and proceeded on with the instructions that Erik had left him. Raoul and Christine became silent and Erik noticed that it looked like Christine had tears in her eyes. He had to fight the familiar urge to comfort her. **(That is not your place man, leave her be.)** Raoul held her hand reassuringly, but seemed to have a worried look on his perfect face. Erik excused himself and started to leave.

Christine's timid voice held him where he was when he heard his name caress her lips, "Erik, please don't go."

Erik sighed; his eyes closed in frustration. "Christine, what do want of me? I can't do this…the dream has come to an end and I must move on… Paris holds no promise for me anymore. What I wanted so passionately in my life…love, acceptance…a family…was never mine to have. I will not continue to expose myself to the pain of your presence…eventually; in time, I will get over you – I must."

Noting the trembling of her chin and moisture forming in her eyes,Erik searched for the right word to say. "I have no doubt that you are…fond of me in your own way, your eyes say as much; but whatever you feel for me is not lasting and will subside with time…I only want what is best for you, and always have. I know that 'best' is not me…I was just being selfish…"

Erik had no animosity in his voice and his words rang from his lips like a melancholy songHis face showed no emotion as he spoke about himself like he didn't matter. "…I am not made of steel or stone, Christine; I am flesh and blood. I can die like everyone else…and oh, have I longed for it... in the past 15 years, I have tried to commit suicide five times…what a relief it would have been for everyone…" There was regret and dissatisfaction in his voice.

Christine and Margarite simultaneously gasped and put their hands to their mouths to silent their cries. "…all five times, Michél found me and nursed my loathsome body back to health…there were many more times I thought about suicide, but never attempted it."

Erik actually laughed at the ludicrousness of it all, "I suppose that the God that I abandoned years ago has seen fit to spare my life for a reason. I cannot tempt fate any more. I must determine who I am and where I came from. Then perhaps I shall die in peace. I think that elusive state is the one thing I desire now…more than anything…peace."

He looked at Christine and Raoul and knew that he held no remorse for the way that events had unfolded. Erik's eyes rested on Raoul, but it was Christine he spoke to, "I am sorry for all the melodramatic displays that I forced about you; I am sorry for letting what I mistook for love turn into something ugly and distorted…it will not happen again."

He pulled an envelope out of his pocket and handed it to Raoul. Raoul opened the envelope and he and Christine stared, dumbfounded, at the contents. Two items stared back at Raoul. The first was the most elaborate and detailed structure he had ever seen. The designs were so complete – down to the last light fixture. The caption at the bottom of the last page of designs simply stated, "Opera de Chagny". The other item was a bank draft for enough money to, not only purchase and build the structure; but also hire personnel to handle all the business particulars that came with it; to hire instructors and also performers.

They were speechless. Raoul raised shocked eyes to Erik and Christine worshipped Erik with her eyes, "What is this all about?" Raoul questioned with a smile.

Erik sat aggravatingly still, "Call it a wedding present if that will make it easier for you to accept. I destroyed the Opera Populaire with my fits of jealousy and rage. The least I can do is pay you back for the investment you had in it. Once you get it built and do a few productions, it will be very lucrative."

Raoul blinked several times, as if in a trance. "Where did you get this much money…this is a fortune…I don't know one thing about running an opera house Erik."

Erik laughed lightly, "You can learn from the best…Margarite…and my needs are few…I simply invested the money I made off of each months salary." Noticing the concern on Christine's face, Erik assured her, "Don't worry my dear, there is plenty left…I will be fine. I am a rather shrewd businessman."

Erik leaned into Raoul, talking in hushed tones. "Your father has inadvertently conducted business with me, and I am well aware of his…shall we say…dwindling bank account. I am also aware of his less than enthusiastic reaction to your announcement about marrying Christine…this will give you independence from him…I trust that this settles any score there may have been between us?"

Raoul shook Erik's out stretched hand. Raoul asked, "I only have one question. From whom do I get the opera's? I need material to perform."

Erik had almost forgotten, "On the table in Margarite's parlor you will find a leather satchel; in it you will find several operas that I have written over the years. Some were performed years ago, others have never been seen. If you wish, you may use them. There is also a list of qualified composers and others that will help you."

Erik held up his hand as Raoul began to question his hospitality, "I seek no commission from this, just use them if you wish."

Raoul graciously accepted Erik's gift, considering this man to be one of the most giving men he had ever had the privilege of knowing. Christine, wanting to hug him but thinking better of it, raised her thankful eyes to him. He was making things so easy for them. She thought she could not love him any more than she did at that very moment.

Erik lounged quietly for a few seconds and then shifted his lithe body and stood up_. "I am leaving in the morning and you will be rid of me for good." _ His tone was indifferent and unemotional, as if he expected them to have no feelings on the matter. "I will meet with Scotland Yard on Tuesday to obtain some help. I must leave first thing to get all of this handled"Erik looked longingly into the future "There is evidence that suggests I was born in Scotland…that is where my search begins."

He quietly left the room heading for the hallway to retrieve his hat and cloak. Christine and Margarite were fast on his heals, attempting to prevent him from leaving. He was oblivious to their efforts. He proceeded out the door and down the sidewalk, unaware of the admiring glances of the on-lookers.

Christine noticed how the young ladies watched him walk down the street with more than a little bit of interest in their eyes. It was apparently going around Paris that the "Phantom" was an attractive, eligible bachelor; and, to make things even more inviting, he was a genius.

His operas were the talk around town; people now discussed openly and freely the beauty of his music and the passion that was evident in every note and word he wrote. Now that he was not a public nuisance, everyone wanted to know more about him, especially the women – women of all social classes. The mask only served to add an air of mystery around him, increasing his attractiveness to the opposite sex.

All of Paris knew what the mask hid thanks to the opera incident; but when compared to the magnetism of the rest of him, the deformity paled. A pang of jealousy shot through Christine, a feeling with which she was completely unfamiliar. **(What did you think Christine? You can see how attractive he is, did you think no other woman could? Besides, he's not yours – you chose the safe, secure road with Raoul; the road that would please your father and mother – and Raoul's father and mother…God forbid that you should actually think for yourself once in awhile!)**

Madam Giry came up behind Christine, jarring her out of her thoughtful stupor. "Let him go; we know what hotel he is staying in and we will go there later. He's not walking out of my life without a fight."

Christine heard the stubborn assurance in the older lady's voice.

Margarite looked at Christine and smiled, "I have only just discovered the man behind the mask, I am not about to loose him know; I betrayed and abandoned him once, entirely on a bed of lies…I will not do it again." The two women turned back around and closed the door. Things were getting interesting.

**Chapter 15 preview – Someone new enters Erik's life **


	15. Chapter 15

A Place in This World

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I appreciate every sound word of advice that is given. The lovely words of encouragement make all the hours of typing worth it.

**cinafran**; thank you for your suggestion. I had tried to break the paragraphs up in chapter 14, but I did it even more in this chapter. I hope this helps! Thanks for reading! Here is your update! P.S. I hope I fixed the spelling 

**Mominator124; **You know, I looked at that word and thought, "That just does not look right." But then I left it there without any further scrutiny! Shame on me! Thanks for indulging my interests and reading my story. I appreciate it!

**MastersofNight; **I miss you, I have not heard from you since chapter 10. Are you still with me? Any suggestions or aggravations? As for your comment about Erik and women, so true; but I feel that he has no luck because he has never allowed himself to be available to women. He has always felt that they could not tolerate him. I hope to remedy that in my story. After all;…HE IS !GORGEOUS…at least my Erik is

**miffster; **I haven't heard from you for some time either. Are you still interested in my constant droning? Let me know. Your opinion is invaluable to me.

**DarkSecretLove; **Where are you? You seemed to like it to begin with. I even tried to increase my chapter length for you. If you're still with me, let me know.

CHAPTER 15

Strangers always attract a great deal of attention in a small community. Although Paris was not a small city, the "cities" within the city were quite small.

The dark stranger sat guarded in the corner of the small café. All eyes were on him, for his presence in the corner café produced quite an extensive list of questions from the patrons.

His dark, intelligent eyes searched every face he encountered to see if there was any sign of familiarity. Most were too young or to self-involved to pay this aged stranger any mind. He felt certain that his identity was safe. **(It has been a long time since I was here, perhaps no one remembers me.)** Under different circumstances, he may have taken the time to uncover his past in Paris; but he was here on a mission from the heart. Nothing would deter him.

The morning paper, which would have enlightened him to the events of the city, laid at his right hand; unread. The server approached him, her steps were wavered; sore feet perhaps, and she had a slight scowl on her face; but she tried to force a smile. "Is there anything else that I can get you?"

Those dark, consuming eyes lifted to hers. She could not help but notice that the face that framed those eyes was extremely handsome. He was an older man, probably in his late fifties or early sixties; but he seemed younger. Although his dark hair was silver at the temples, it was full and wavy.

It was his eyes however, that pulled you in. They were full of pain; an old pain that had taken on the guise of friend. If one took the time to look closely, one could see the faint flicker of hope pushing its way into the deep brown crevices of his eyes. Upon closer examination, it was clear that a thin layer of green framed the brown of his eyes. They were unique in their color, making them memorable.

He seemed to hold himself in a regal manner, making everyone around him believe he was of the aristocracy. When he spoke, his words were heavily accented and educated. French was not his native tongue, but he spoke it…fluently. "No my dear, I am quite finished. Perhaps you can provide me with a bit of information. I am in search of a certain individual. I believe she resides somewhere close to here. Her name is Madam Margarite Giry. Do you know her?"

Lizzie knew exactly who he was talking about. Up until a few short days ago, she had been a chorus girl at the Opera Populaire. "Yes Monsieur, she resides just down the street about three blocks. You must pass by the fountain and then her house will be the first one on the left."

The stranger's face lit up, making him appear even younger. "Thank you child, you have no idea how helpful you have been."

When he stood up, Lizzie was impressed, if not a bit intimidated by his height. He was a good six feet tall; his shoulders were broad and he most definitely carried himself with regal poise.

Lizzie could not stop herself from asking, "May I inquire as to what your name is Monsieur?"

Lizzie had the good sense to be appalled at her own abruptness; but the gentleman just smiled and gave an elegant bow, "Of course, Lord Alastair Lauchlan, third Duke of Berwithshire, at your service." **(I knew it; I knew he was titled.)** Lizzie curtsied, but knowing her station in life, did not continue to make eye contact.

Alastair noticed this and tried to be gracious, although he did not feel that it was necessary for her to subject herself to him. "Rise child, you do not even know if I am worthy of your respect. Thank you for the information. I promise it will be used for the good."

He bowed again, sweeping his arm across his waist. With a "swish" of his expensive cape, he was out the door. Lizzie thought there was something vaguely familiar about the way he walked and carried himself, but she didn't dwell on it; after all, most aristocrats looked and acted the same.

Alastair found himself staring at Madam Giry's door**. (Why am I so nervous? This could be another dead-end; there have been so many over the years. This last bit of news seems so much more promising than the other times.)**

He gave the door a loud knock and stood ceremoniously still, waiting for an answer. As the door inched open, Alastair immediately bowed. He removed his hat so that his entire face was visible.

The lady standing at the door seemed taken back by the fact that she had a visitor, but she inclined her head to acknowledge his presence.

"I seek an audience with a young lady named Madam Giry, does she reside here?" The lady's head once again inclined to the affirmative. "My name is Lord Alastair Lauchlan, third Duke of Berwithshire. May I come in?"

Margarite stood at the door and stared, rather unashamedly, at the man before her. He was very handsome and very tall; she knew she would have remembered meeting him; but still, there was something very familiar about him. He spoke in accented French but Margarite could not place him. **(Why is a Duke requesting to talk to me?)**

Margarite had to admit, her curiosity was peeked. "I am Margarite Giry, please come in, your grace."

Alastair eased by her, noticing that she was a very slight woman; from what he had heard about her fortitude, he had expected her to be a much larger woman. The house, though small in comparison to what he was used to, was very well kept and smelled divine; like fresh baked bread.

Margarite led him into the dining room where Christine and Raoul were seated around the table. They had all been amusing themselves with a game of hearts, but had put the cards up a few minutes ago. They were preparing to go to the hotel and visit Erik

The young couple looked up inquisitively as the stately looking man entered the room. Margarite was not very good at introductions, but did her best. "This is Lord Alastair Lauchlan, third Duke of Berwithshire. He has come to speak with me."

Margarite tired to disguise the nervousness in her voice, even though her stomach was tied in knots. Alastair inclined his head in greeting to the younger people, who in turn, stood and bowed to him.

Raoul shook the man's hand, noticing the strength in his grip. "I am Viscount Raoul de Changny, and this is my fiancée, Christine Daae. We are pleased to meet you, your grace."

At the mention of Christine's name, Alastair raised a well-shaped eyebrow. He seemed to know something about her, but seemed in no hurry to share. Christine could have sworn she saw a flash of anger swell in his intriguing eyes at the mention of her name. His features were very familiar to her. **(Maybe I have seen him at the Opera. Many nobles from other countries visited the opera. He certainly is an attractive man, even if he is a bit older.)**

Raoul recognized the man before him from some of the royal balls he had been to. Lord Lauchlan had always seemed uncomfortable at the royal functions; he never quite fit in. But here, in a small gathering, Lord Lauchlan seemed quite at ease and his presence seemed to demand respect.

If Raoul remembered correctly, Lord Alastair was in high demand for his architectural designs, for which many countries were soliciting his services. He had slowed down lately. His hands seemed to be stiffing up on him and his fingers just did not want to do the precise drawing that was necessary for his work. His fortune was intact however; he was considered one the wealthiest nobleman in Europe.

At the royal functions, it was his beautiful wife, Brianna, who graced everyone with her presence. She was a stunning beauty, even in her late fifties. She had the most alluring green eyes and golden hair; completely untouched by gray. It was her face, however, that captured everyone's attention. She had the face of an angel. Her skin was the color and texture of cream. She had perfectly carved cheekbones and a round, feminine chin.

She was exquisite; rumored to be the most beautiful woman in Scotland. She boasted exceptional musical talents that seemed to surpass even the most well-trained musicians. She could play just about any instrument she picked up – and sing – she could make the angels cry with her voice. Raoul was certain that her voice would give Christine a run for her money; but Lady Brianna seldom smiled, except at her husband.

The couple looked beautiful together; but there always seemed to be an underlying tone of sadness resting in their eyes and residing in their words. Raoul could not recollect the reason behind that sadness, although he remembered hearing the hushed whispers that always surrounded Lord and Lady Lauchlan. All he could recall was that it had been a long time ago, and the entire estate still mourned.

Raoul spoke with respect and admiration for the man beside him, "I have had the privilege of meeting you and your lovely wife on several occasions. Royal balls are always a way to mix and mingle with the aristocracy of other countries. I have been impressed with your business ventures lately. You are in high demand around the world."

Alastair found himself amused by the young man; he seemed to be informed, but not snobbish.

Alastair gave Raoul a reserved smile and a poised answer, "Yes, Brianna wanted to make this trip with me; but our daughter, Erin, has just given birth to our tenth grandchild; we have six granddaughters and four grandsons."

Raoul expected him to drone on about his business adventures and investments, which had undoubtedly made him a very wealthy man; but Alastair surprised him by talking about his family.

Lord Lauchlan had to stop for a moment, there were tears welling up in his eyes at the thought of his little Dierdre; she was so perfect"Brianna was hesitant to leave her, even with the hope of my success. I promised her that I would return with that which I came here for." There was a determined glint in his eyes, and his heavy accent seemed to accentuate every word; making him sound agitated but unwavering.

Thoughts of his beloved wife flooded his mind. That dreadful, mournful night so long ago had taken the life out of her eyes. All that stared back at him for so many nights was emptiness and longing. Thankfully, with the birth of each grandchild, dull embers had begun to stir in their depths; but he missed the light that had illuminated them all those years ago.

Margarite motioned for him to sit. As he settled himself in, Margarite ventured to inquire about how she could serve him. "How may I be of service to you, your grace?"

Alastair cringed at the use of the respectful words, "Please, my dear, just call me Alastair. I am terribly sorry to barge in on you like this, but I am most certain that you have some information that could make me a very happy man…" Alastair smiled a radiant smile and his eyes danced, "…a very happy man indeed."

**Chapter 16 preview – Tragedy retold**


	16. Chapter 16

A Place in This World

**OperaLover: I had already posted chapter 16 when I found your review, so I thought I would repost with a great big "Thank You" for taking the time to read and review my story, and welcome aboard! I am glad you are enjoying it. It is nice to meet a fellow fanatic and Gerry Tart, it was my interest in his insightful and passionate portrayal of Erik that inspired this story; now I can't seem to get him (Gerard) out of my system! Oh, and here is your update!**

**MastersofNight: Thank you for your review also. That chapter was the hardest one to write so far. I wanted my readers to understand that Christine loves Erik very much but she is still unsure of her exact feelings where both men are concerned. I will go a little bit more in depth with this subject later. Erik on the other hand, is ready to move on. Please, please, please don't tie me to the chair – I promise I will finish:-)**

**Mominator124: I hope this chapter reveals deep and hidden secrets to you, and in the one sense, I am happy to disappoint! Thanks for reading!**

CHAPTER 16

With his words, Margarite's heart picked up pace. What could she possibly possess that would make this man happy? Alastair noticed the uncertainty in her face and thought it best that he explain himself. "Make yourselves comfortable, this will take a little while to tell. My story begins twenty-nine years ago…"

FLASHBACK (told from third person view)

_The Lauchlan Estate; September 3, 1837_

The estate was full of people; people everywhere. Alastair didn't much care for crowds, preferring instead to curl up to a good book or draw and design a new structure; but… Brianna loved to entertain. Since their marriage 13 years ago, they had probably hosted half the known world on the grounds of their opulent estate. The Lauchlan Estate was known for its flower gardens and large display of native plant life. People came from remote areas just to get a chance to see the renowned estate and the Lord and Lady who oversaw its construction and daily functions.

An ethereal figure caught Alastair's eyes; Brianna Lauchlan, Lady of Berwithshire, was gracefully flowing down the ornate, winding staircase. She looked radiant; her golden hair pulled up and framing her angelic face; just a few strands meandered down the sides of her cheeks. Her gown was the most shimmering shade of green he had ever seen, bringing attention to her exquisite eyes. Alastair could get lost in those eyes and stay lost forever; after all these years, she still managed to take his breath away.

She had just come down from putting their five children to bed in their fairytale rooms. They had four daughters ages 12, 10, and a set of 8 year-old twins and a son; who at the age of four, was the only male born to the Lauchlan family and heir to the entire estate.

All of the girls, except Kaitlyn, were blond headed little doll babies with bouncy, golden curls like their mother and dancing green eyes with a tinge of brown around the edges; a perfect blending of both parents.

Their features were their fathers; who was considered a very handsome man. But his handsomeness paled in comparison to Brianna's beauty. Their second born daughter, Kaitlyn and the young Lord of Berwithshire were the exact replicas of their mother; breath-takingly beautiful, with the most arresting green eyes, like pools of liquid emeralds; even more beautiful than their mother's. Their features were perfect; as though carved from the finest ivory in the entire world by a master artisan.

Kaitlyn could be her mother's twin in every way, except she had her father's dark, wavy locks. The young Lord of Berwithshire was Brianna's image in every way except four; he had his fathers raven, wavy, thick hair; his full, luscious, ever-so-kissable lips, his deep eyes, and his adorable cleft chin. He was Alastair's pride and joy. At last, a son to carry on the family name and bring two wealthy and powerful families together by blood.

Lord Donovan and Lady Fionola Shaunessy were dear friends of Alastair and Brianna. They were one of the prominent families in Ireland. Their infant daughter A'awynn, was betrothed to young Lord Lauchlan, the future Fourth Duke of Berwithshire. The betrothal, agreed upon a month ago and put into writing a few short moments ago, was the reason for tonight's celebration. All that was left for the young Lord and Lady to do, was grow up. They would wed in a few years and carry on the relationship that these two families had been enjoying for generations. After all, Alastair and Brianna's marriage had been arranged, and they were more in love with each other than many of the marriages that were not arranged.

Brianna had left the nannies in charge of caring for her beloved children and had rejoined her husband in the Ballroom. The festivities lasted well into the wee hours of the morning, with the last guest leaving at around 3:30. The benevolent host couple was exhausted. After peeking in on the girls, Brianna headed for their son's room; Alastair caught up to her and put a gentle, restraining hand on her arm, "He's fine, Brianna, Nola is with him…let him sleep."

Brianna could not help the sense of foreboding that swept over her as she took one last fleeting look at the door that separated her son from her. Giving into her husband's gentle pleading, she literally fell into bed, every muscle in her svelte body was hurting. Both were practically asleep before their heads hit the pillows. What a night it had been…so full of promise.

The next morning started out much as any other. The Lord and Lady were sleeping in, having had a very late night. Eilis, the head mistress of the house, made her way to the young Lord's bedroom to retrieve him for breakfast. The girls had been up and tended to for a couple of hours now. The young Lord's nanny seemed to have disappeared this morning; this was highly unusual for Nola, but not unheard of. Eilis rapped quietly on the door, knowing that the young Lord would be about his morning reading. He was a bright one, the young Lord Lauchlan; she had never seen a more intelligent young man. When there was no answer, she cracked the door slightly, not wanting to intrude on his studies.

The screams echoed through the entire estate, waking even the lowest of servants in the stables. The Lord and Lady jumped out of the bed at the same time, grabbing their robes. They rushed down the hallway toward the terrified screams. There was chaos everywhere. Nobody knew exactly where the screams were radiating from.

As is a mother's intuition, Brianna's first reaction was to check on her children. Their daughters' rooms were to the left of the master bedroom. She headed for both rooms and sighed in relief when she noticed the girls were coming up the stairs with Fauna, their nanny. Alastair instructed her to keep the girls away, at least until he knew the source of or reason for the screaming.

The incessant screaming had stopped; but in its place was the most forlorn sobbing Brianna had ever heard. It was coming from her son's room. Her heart was in her throat as she ran toward her son's room, just to the right of her own. She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, as if she was going to be sick. Her hands were shaking as she approached the open door.

Eilis was on her knees beside Nola, sobbing and rocking back and forth. Nola was propped up against the bed, a pool of blood gathering at her feet as it ran from the stab wounds in her abdomen and chest. By the looks of it, she had been dead for several hours. Her right hand was resting atop the bed as if reaching for the young Lord as he rested in his bed. Her tears appeared to be running down her still, unmoving face; she had loved the young Lord as if he were her own son. Brianna collapsed as she surveyed the brutal scene. Her sons name escaping her lips in a cry of despair. Alastair caught her in his strong arms, almost losing it himself as he realized the magnitude of what had happened…his son, his hope for the future of his family name and the stability of his estate…was gone.

END FLASHBACK

Alastair sat demurely while the occupants of the room absorbed what he had said. His tears flowed silently down his face, as painful now as they had been twenty-nine years ago. There was not a dry eye on anyone present. Raoul's heart was wrenching for this man before him. The loss of his son was still a raw sore that festered with pain. "Who took him…and why?" Raoul pleaded.

Alastair answered painfully, "I have made enemies in my time; I am a rather outspoken nobleman with ideas about how things should be handled. I do not always stick to tradition when seeking ways to get things done. I design new ways to bring modern luxuries to everyday people, not just the nobles – and the nobles are not happy with this." Alastair dropped his eyes and stared at the family crest that adorned a ring on his right ring finger. "My father was the same way…"He jerked his head up out of his thoughts, "…I did not rest until I found answers. I questioned everyone that had been at my estate that night – there had been hundreds, so it took some time. After a great deal effort and the help of many, I managed to piece together some information from different sources."

Those deep, brown eyes were burning with unrelenting anger, "A previous business partner of mine was determined to get his hands on a design that I had made for an underground pool system. He wanted the design and the profits that went with it." His broad shoulders shrugged as if money and prestige meant nothing to him, "I refused to sell it to him. I did not need the money and I did not like his business etiquette. I dismissed him from my business, thinking him a sniveling fool and thought no more of him."

Alastair snorted, making a very humorless sound. "He, on the other hand, planned and orchestrated this horrendous act of cowardliness. He had always been jealous of my abilities and my family. He lusted after my wife and made no qualms about letting me know what he would do to her if given the opportunity. His loathing for my son was evident at a very early stage; I could always see the hate in his eyes. He commented day in and day out about the handsomeness of my son, saying that no boy should be that 'pretty' or that smart…oddly, he never seemed interested in my daughters."

Alastair's cleft chin began to shake again, the tears were threatening. "I finally caught him and he was sentenced to death. I had the opportunity to question him in front of the House of Lords. He took pride in detailing every awful moment to me. He not only stole my boy out from underneath me in my own house…"Alastair's resolve began to crumble and the next words were barely above a whisper, "…he tortured him!"Lord Lauchlan could hold it in no longer, he wept for his son who had endured such horrible torture at the hand of a madman. Margarite rushed to console the trembling man whose wails broke her heart.

Alastair excused himself in a bit of a hurry and after inquiring as to the location of the bathroom, proceeded to empty his stomach of its contents. To this day, he blamed himself for the fate his son had suffered. He washed his mouth out, straightened his clothes and, found his way back to the dining room to continue with his story. The three people before him seemed riveted to the telling of his tale. He could see the pain in the eyes of all of them, and hoped that he was doing this for all the right reasons. He did not want another disappointment.

"As heart-wrenching as your story is, your grace; I still see no connection to me." Margarite's voice was strained with emotion; she had never been so affected by a story, except for when Erik talked about his time with the gypsies.

"I am getting to that Madam Giry." His tone was reserved and polite, but there was an edge to his words. He was anxious to get his answers, but felt that he needed to present them with background. Alastair began again, the pain flooding over him as if it was yesterday. "MacNera told of the torture he had put my son through with exhilaration and loathing in his voice. He demonstrated with pictures how, while my son was awake and alert, he had meticulously burned the right side of his face with hot wires and pokers; he molded my sons face into a monstrous representation of a demon. He even sent a drawn picture of the finished "masterpiece", as he called, to my family. MacNera was quite the artist."

The last phrase was literally snarled between clenched teeth; Alastair pulled a folded parchment from his suit jacket and opened it for the others to see, staring back at them was an all too familiar sight,"I keep it as a reminder of what my son, at the age of four, endured…completely alone." The noble man restrained his tears; to allow them to flow again would prevent him from giving the full account of the atrocious acts performed against his son

Margarite listened intently, already knowing the avenue that his story was going to take, "After he had molded my son into the monster he wanted him to be, he sold him as a freak show exhibit to the gypsies. He thought he would destroy my family by taking my son from me…all he did was make my resolve to find him stronger and my need for revenge more intense. I had the Right of Restitution granted me by the House of Lords. I am not proud of how I single-handedly destroyed him; eventually taking his life…I pray that God will forgive me of that sin, but it is amazing how all propriety and logic is thrown to the wind where our children are concerned."Alastair stared right into Margarite's eyes when he spoke; he knew that she knew about whom he was talking.

A gasp escaped the mouths of both ladies; the tragedy of the whole story hitting them hard. "I have searched every gypsy camp from here to Russia for over 25 years and have been unsuccessful in locating my son. They never stay in one place for very long. I have been given dead ends and useless bits of information to mislead me; but I am determined to find him…that is where you come in."

He noticed that the color had drained from Madam Giry's face; she was as white as a ghost. He looked deep into her eyes and saw a knowing glow there. Ms. Daae was weeping with both relief and regret etched on her face. Only one name could be heard coming from her lips, as all eyes turned to her. She said the name that lingered on everyone's mind since the mention of the vicious torture performed on the young Lord's face..."Erik!"

**Chapter 17 preview – Preparing to meet Erik**


	17. Chapter 17

A Place in This World

CHAPTER 17

"What name did you just say?"Alastair could have sworn that he heard his sons name coming from Christine. Christine could not even bring herself to say it again; she was so lost in the realization of who Erik was. There was so much to read on her face, the horror of what he had endured and the joy of knowing that he now had a family. Words did not come.

With pride in his voice, Alastair introduced his absent son to them, "He was born Lord Erik Bryant Lauchlan, Earl of Berwithshire. Either by my choice, or by my death, he will be the Fourth Duke of Berwithshire. He was lost to me for a time…I pray that now, he has returned to me."

Alastair watched the faces of those in front of him. He knew in his heart that the "Erik", whose name Christine had cried out, was his son. Margarite's surprised but lilting voice asked the only thing she could think of to say, "What led you here, to my humble home, your grace?" Margarite could not believe the events that were unfolding before her eyes. "How did you find me?" She was honored to have him here. To have been a part of this incredible story gave her life more purpose than she had ever thought possible.

Alastair told of a conversation that one of his household staff had overheard in a tavern in Glasgow. "A man was searching for the identity of a dear friend of his. This friend wore a mask on the right side of his face to hide a deformity. His friend also wore a ring with a crest on it; he hoped someone would recognize it...well, someone did."

Margarite recognized the ring that Alastair was holding up for her to see, it looked to be the same ring that Erik wore; a ring that he said he had always had. He never could remember where he had gotten it; just that he had always had it. She knew now that it had been given to him as a small child; a keepsake representing his family name and heritage. He had kept it in his inside pocket, never allowing it to be found. In time, his childhood memories of his family had faded, but he knew that the ring was important to him. After his rescue from the Gypsy's, he began wearing it; if only to cling to some semblance of a past. The only time it left his hand was when he wore gloves. He had apparently parted with it long enough to have Michél use it to gain information.

"When my employee came and relayed to me what he had heard, I knew that I must seek this man out. I had one of my less than scrupulous 'friends' follow this man and try to find out where he was from. I learned that he was from Paris and his name was Michél Pinchót. Many of the 'locals' that he spoke to were really contacts placed by my people to gain much needed information. In almost every instance, the one name he mentioned over and above all others was yours, Margarite. I came to Paris with your name on my tongue. The first person I asked knew exactly who you were and where you lived. So here I am."Alastair unnervingly stared at Margarite; she felt the weight of his years of searching bearing down on her. Alastair was through beating around the bush, he pinned his eyes on Christine, demanding her response, "The Erik you speak of…I believe he is my son. Where can I find him?"

Margarite wasted no time, "I can take you to him. He just left here not three hours ago. He is staying at the Hotel Reginé, room 305. He spoke of plans to leave tomorrow headed for London to speak with our magistrate's cousin at Scotland Yard. He was searching for his past. I suppose that will not be needed now if he is, indeed, your son." Margarite smiled, taking ten years from her face. She and Christine rose to put a shawl over their shoulders as Raoul grabbed his hat and cloak. Raoul headed out the door to obtain transportation for the evening.

Alastair was experiencing a wealth of emotions right now. He was nervous, excited, anxious, curious, scared, happy…all at the same time! He was actually going to fulfill a promise made to himself and Brianna 29 years ago. He had promised he would bring Erik home. Today he would take the first step in doing just that.

Margarite took the length of the carriage ride to compare the features of the man sitting across from her to Erik. She saw the same arrogant hold to the shoulders; the same love of solitude and books; the same wonderful mouth, chin and deep-set eyes. The most demanding similarity was the strength of character and will; neither man would back down if cornered, they would fight to the death, especially for something they believed in or someone they loved. You could sense the fortitude that this man could possess if put in the right situation, it was the same feeling she felt in Erik's presence. Margarite smiled, knowing that Erik was everything she had prayed he would be…and more.

The tragic story of his abduction had torn her apart. Imagining Erik being tortured was almost more than she could grasp. The times he had opened up to her and actually spoke of the cruelty of the Gypsies; she became physically sick. She had been unfortunate enough to see first hand the way they had treated him; she did not really care to relive it. She now realized that he had endured even worse torture at the hand of a man who sought revenge on his father.

Margarite tangibly shivered as she pictured the morbid scene in her mind. He had always suffered horrible nightmares with fragmented pieces of memory; but he could never quite put the pieces together; his mind had closed these memories off, protecting him from losing his mind. His nightmares were the only thing that had the power to frighten him. She prayed that he would never remember the agony of those months so long ago.

The carriage ride past by so quickly that Alastair could have sworn they had only been riding for a few minutes, when in fact it had been about twenty. His mind was racing; how was he going to act when he saw Erik for the first time in almost 30 years? As a father, the only thing he wanted to do was take him in his arms and hold him forever; shielding him from any further pain. But to Erik, Alastair was a stranger and he would most likely not allow that kind of affection between them, at least not at first. **(I don't care if he is almost 34 years old, he is still my little boy, perfect in every way; I intend to make him realize that.)**

Margarite had taken a few minutes of the ride to explain to Alastair about Erik's colorful past. Erik stretched the borders of decency in many areas of his life. His compositions were sexually charged and full of passion as well as pain. The costumes he designed for his players were tastefully risqué; and the "Red Death" outfit that he designed for himself the night of the Masquerade party – oh my, every woman in the room was ready to let him have his way with them; Margarite could not remember him looking more devilishly handsome than he did that night. (**You could not even see the beauty of his face; that is how intoxicating he was**.)

She briefly clued him in on Erik's double identity as the Phantom and Opera Ghost. She detailed how he had very low self-esteem, especially about his face; and because of this, he wore a white mask to cover the right side. He thought himself a hideous monster that was beyond the love of any human, especially women.

She told him of Erik's sexual innocence and the obsession he had for Christine"He had never even been kissed until the night that Christine betrayed him…she kissed him to free Raoul…not knowing that Erik would never have hurt him." Alastair dwelt on this fact for a moment; his son was an innocent when it came to women! **(Good Lord…the wolves are going to eat him alive! He won't even see them coming!) **Alastair had to keep himself from laughing out loud, he knew what Erik had in store for him upon his return to Scotland; this would be a very rousing situation. **(And this Christine…what should I think about her?)**

Margarite did not miss the swell of animosity that glowed in Alastair's eyes when he looked at Christine. To prevent his opinion of her growing worse, Margarite explained about Erik's role in deceiving Christine and the fear he had invoked in her and everyone else.

Alastair took up for his son, "He felt it necessary I'm sure, to protect himself from the evils of mankind. Fear is a very powerful ally when control or protection is your goal. His manipulation of the situations assured him control, when he let his control slip…that is when he got hurt."

She told how, upon finding that Erik was not a murderer or rapist, Christine had admitted her deep love for Erik. She also let Alastair know that Christine and Raoul were betrothed as children and Christine would never go against her father's wishes, even if he had been dead for ten years.

Alastair softened his opinion of Christine, but it would take some time for him to forgive her for the way she had hurt Erik, even if she claimed to love him. Alastair knew that plenty of other women wanted a chance to grace his arm and bed; **(they will show him how attractive he is. I know that he is beautiful, he looks like his mother. No mask or destruction done on the right side of his face can take away his beauty.)** In time, he would forget about his love for Ms. Daae.

Margarite reflected on all the facts she now had. It seemed that the Gypsy woman that had been responsible for Erik in the camp was wicked and evil to him, drilling into him pitiful, self-loathing feelings. Margarite knew now that the woman Erik thought of as his mother was not his mother at all; but a wicked, vengeful creature instructed to make him into the moneymaking attraction they wanted him to be. - She had done her job well.

Alastair could not believe the tale of deception and pain that Margarite wove for him. Erik had been though far more that Alastair ever knew. The road to recovery for his son was going to be a long one. With the love of his family around him and the support of an entire country that awaited the return of the long lost Berwithshire heir, Alastair was certain Erik would become the man he was born to be.

As for the lack of physical love; Alastair knew of many suitable women who were waiting with baited breath to get a chance to court the handsome Earl of Berwithshire. They already knew about his deformity because Alastair displayed the picture that MacNera had drawn detailing Erik's face; he displayed it everywhere so that the whole country would be used to his face before he came home. He had done this for years. The picture also served to remind the people what tortures his son had survived.

The carriage came to halt in front of the hotel. Alastair stood on the sidewalk staring at the structure that housed his son. He led the way into the reception area and up to the concierge. He double-checked the room number that Margarite had given him, gave the man a large tip and headed for the stairs.

Margarite stopped him by clearing her throat, "Are you sure that you want us present when you do this? We can wait down here."

Alastair shook his head, "No, I want all of you there. He has known you for years and the others have been intricate parts of his recent years. He will be more comfortable with each of you there."

He turned back around and headed up the stairs. His stomach was in knots and his throat was dry, but he could not remember having so much hope for the future.

**Chapter 18 preview – Erik learns the truth**


	18. Chapter 18

A Place in This World

CHAPTER 18

Erik and Michél had just come back from what had been a very pleasant dinner experience. They had decided to go public for a change and entered one of the more refined establishments in Paris. The host greeted them both with a genuine smile and seated them at the best table in the restaurant. They ordered drinks and then dinner and were enjoying a light-hearted conversation when two attractive women, probably in their mid to late twenties and obviously of the upper class, approached them. Erik paid them no mind; he assumed they were both interested in Michél.

He was lost in thought when he happened to glance up and see Michél staring at him inquisitively.

"What?" Erik asked with a wave of his gloved hand.

Michél gave a slight grin, "These ladies would like to know if they can join us for a drink."

Erik was amused that Michél would even ask his opinion on the matter.

He gave a slight laugh and replied, "Michél, if these ladies wish to get to know you better, then by all means allow them to sit. I can go back to the hotel and give you a little more privacy."

Erik began to rise and leave the table when a voluptuous figure stood between him and the exit. He was taken off guard slightly and leaned back to avoid colliding into her.

She looked up at him with a very strange yearning in her hazel eyes. "I do not know your full name, only that you are called Erik; but I would like the chance to get to know the man behind the mask."She leaned into him and boldly brushed her ample breasts against his masculine chest. "You are a legendary figure in Paris, Monsieur. Please sit back down and allow me the privilege of your company." She toyed with the front of his shirt, flaunting her feminine wiles in front of him; if Erik did not know better, he'd think she was flirting with him.

Her voice caressed him like red, silk sheets against his bare skin. Erik was frozen in place!

What on earth was she doing? No woman had ever been so intimate with him, not without him coaxing her with his talents. He found himself reacting to her in some very uncomfortable ways. His wretched body betrayed him, a rare but bothersome occurrence thanks to his formidable control. He reached up and loosened the tie around his neck. Was it getting hot in here? As his body betrayed him, Erik struggled to calm himself down before he had to leave in a rush with his interest becoming more and more apparent.

None of these thoughts surfaced on his perfect face. He bowed elegantly and pulled the chair out for her to sit. He sat down next to her and proceeded to have a very stimulating night. She knew all about him and yet wanted to spend time with him. Erik would have lassoed the moon for her if she asked it of him. He actually felt like a normal man.

Her name was Adele. She had wanted to meet him for days know, since finding out that he was innocent and also seeing him around town and finding him very attractive. Unfortunately, he had also discovered that she was married; albeit unhappily, to a mouse of a man who treated her abhorrently. Erik continued to be polite toward her advances, but made it quite clear he was not interested in her as anything more than dinner partner. He was flattered though. Why such a beautiful woman would seek him out in any way and for any reason was beyond him.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

"I do believe I will turn in for the night Michél. We must get a fairly early start in the morning." Erik said matter-of-factly, while heading for his room.

Michél could not help but jest with Erik a bit, "How did it feel having a married woman want you as her 'boy toy'?"

Erik shot daggers at Michél with his eyes. "She did not want any such of a thing. She was just being friendly."

Michél continued with the bantering, "Erik, come on."Michél still found it hard to believe how oblivious Erik was to his own beauty. "Surely you could see how attracted she was to you…my goodness; she was practically drooling all over you! You are forever underestimating how handsome you are; and you have impeccable taste in everything, you're rich enough to rival the royal family, and you are a genius…there is nothing more that a woman could want!" Erik lifted a perfect eyebrow and smiled a lop-sided grin, shaking his head at Michél in disbelief. Michél would not be swayed, "Women are going to be flocking to you in droves now that you are available to the public eye."

"Did you eat something that has caused you to have delusions?" Erik placed both hands on Michél's shoulders and peered into his eyes, mockingly examining them as a doctor would. His tone became sarcastic and his eyes lost their glow, "You have lost your mind, Michél. Women find me repulsive and disgusting; she was just being friendly, like I said earlier. I am glad however, that she chose to share her evening with me…good night." Erik inclined his head slightly, bidding Michél good night, entered his bedroom and quietly shut the door.

Michél sat forlornly thinking about Erik's self-imposed celibacy. (**If he didn't put that mask up as a shield against the outside world, he could be a bonafide ladies man; he alone keeps them away. He could have taken Adele and quenched the carnal need that I know he fights daily to control. She would have gladly yielded to him with no tricks, no singing with a hypnotic voice, no magic, and no illusions; just the sheer attractiveness of his face and body. She was certainly offering…when will he see it?) **

He mournfully stood and had just taken the first few steps towards his room when he heard the knock on the door,"Who on earth…yes…who is it?" He mumbled under his breath.

Michél was greeted by Margarite's perky voice, "Michél, it's Margarite. I have others with me. We are here to talk to Erik."

The locks on the door were unfastened and Michél propped the door open, placing himself between the suite and the hallway. His eyes immediately glued on Alastair; he noted the noble manner about him along with the noble clothes and overall appearance of the man.

"Margarite, I know that by social standards it is not very late; but Erik has a very early day tomorrow, he has turned in for the night. I think he said all that he was going to say earlier." Michél retorted, not taking his eyes off the man that stood to the right of Raoul; he looked so familiar.

Margarite's pleading tone intruded on Michél's examination, "Michél…please, you won't regret it."

Michél consorted with himself for a few minutes, knowing that Erik was not one for entertaining strangers. He reluctantly walked back into the room and held the door for them to enter.

He stopped Margarite and addressed her, although everyone could hear what he was saying, "We've not long been back from dinner. We finally sat in 'LaRouge' and ate and drank like normal people. Erik was approached by a beautiful woman that would have gladly, and may I say eagerly, taught him the joys of the flesh…but his infuriating self-loathing wouldn't allow him to see how attracted she was to him. He just says that she was being polite." Michél shook his head, still not believing the blindness of his friend. "How could he not see it, she was all over him."

He turned and headed into the vast hotel suite. He knew nothing of the thud of Christine's pensive heart or the jealousy that threatened to spill over her eyes in the form of jaded tears. **(Stop it Christine, he is not yours; you betrayed him, denied him, and…he no longer wants you in that way…) **Christine looked down at her clenched fists and tried to calm her erratic nerves, (**I'm going to die a little bit every time I see him with another woman…and I am sure that there will be many.)**

Erik had just finished donning his black silk sleeping pants; he had removed his shirt and was ready to slip into the bed when he heard voices in the front room. He was curious and stood at the door listening. Recognizing Margarite's insistent voice; he pulled his black silk robe on, not bothering to tie the belt. Being unable to locate his slippers, he decided to forego them and he quietly opened the door and headed for the front room.

"…can you just go get him Michél? This is Lord Alastair Lauchlan, Third Duke of Berwithshire, he wishes to speak with Erik." Margarite pleaded.

Everyone's back was to the hallway except Alastair's, he alone saw the tall, dark figure that headed towards them like a panther on the prowl, bathed in shadow. The voice that emanated out of that shadow brought tears to Alastair's eyes; such vibrant, heavenly beauty could only have been passed to him by one other person, Brianna.

"What could I possibly say that would be of any interest, in the slightest, to a Duke?" All turned toward the mocking voice and Christine and Margarite stood gazing at the Adonis before them. Neither one had ever seen Erik out of his usual pristine suits of clothing. He always dressed in a manner that covered just about every inch of his body. Casual was usually not in his vocabulary.

The sight before them caused both ladies to question why he would ever want to cover such perfection. Christine had to pry her eyes off Erik and rest them on the floor, or she would totally embarrass herself. Margarite had no such misgivings, she openly admired Erik's broad, muscular chest with fine black hair dusting it in all the right places. She followed that dusting of hair to his abdomen; finding it tight and defined with an enticing path of the same dark hair teasing its way into the top of his black, silk pants.

Margarite and Christine both followed that line with greedy eyes and watering mouths, and found themselves wondering about what secrets lay hidden at the end of it…the pants hardly left anything to the imagination, hugging his slim waist snuggly and cradling his narrow, manly hips. His thighs were powerful but lithe, making his movements graceful and elegant.

**(Be still my beating heart...even his feet are sexy! A girl could get addicted to looking at this for very long!) **Christine blatantly shook herself out of her daze.

Margarite was a similar stupor and quivered with a sexual charge. (**And I thought I had long since lost interest in such things…maybe there is hope for me yet!) **Margarite smiled a surreptitious smile and averted her eyes elsewhere. Thankfully, Raoul was blissfully unaware of Christine's sinful assessment of Erik. He was too busy watching Alastair react to Erik.

Erik was equally unaware of the affect he was having on the women. He imperturbably ambled up to the small group, glaring at Alastair with something akin to repugnance in his eyes. Alastair was unaffected by the look that Erik bestowed on him. He was too lost in joy to care. His son, the exact representation of Brianna, stood before him; the eyes, the perfect complexion, the cheekbones; but most of all, that voice. Of course, there was evidence of Alastair staring back at him too; the cleft chin, the thick, black, wavy hair and his full lips; the lips that had been the envy and desire of many women. It was all Alastair could do to keep from embracing Erik in his long-to-empty arms.

Erik, being a perceptive person, could see that Alastair did not just have a passing interest in him. The look in the older man's eyes told a far more intimate story. He decided to tone the loathing down a bit and let the man have his say. Erik extended his hand in greeting, "I apologize, your grace; the aristocracy has not always been kind to me." Raoul shifted uncomfortably, but Erik glanced at him with a brief smile, putting him at ease.

Up and to this moment, Alastair had not spoken a word. He really had no idea what to say. He had rehearsed this scene in his mind thousands of times, but everything he had rehearsed seemed to pale compared to the moment before him. He avidly shook Erik's hand, noting the strength that was contained in it. Erik's keen eyes surveyed the ring on Alastair's right hand, noting its resemblance to the one he possessed, although he could not fully see the crest. Pushing the thought aside, Erik invited him in to make himself comfortable.

Alastair, weary of conversing in French, decided to address Erik in heavily accented English, "I have rehearsed this moment in my mind a thousand times, but I stand here at a complete loss for words."

Erik immediately noticed the accent with which the man spoke; it bore into his mind, conjuring up memories long forgotten, "You are from Scotland, are you not?" came the question, in equally accented English. Erik dipped his head to the right and narrowed his eyes slightly to emphasis the question. Alastair could not believe how well Erik spoke his native language, albeit with a French accent.

Alastair could go no further; he could not even bring words to form in his throat. What was he going to say? I mean, how does one relay such a story? He lowered himself onto the couch, placing his face in his hands and tried to think of some way to convey to Erik the past of which he had no memory.

Erik did not know what to do either; his gut instinct told him that this man held some level of importance in his life, but Erik had learned long ago not rely on his instincts, they were what had told him that Christine could love him. Why did he have the feeling that his life was balancing on a hidden cliff, headed toward an unseen precipice?

Margarite, knowing the full weight of situation, though not understanding but a few words of English, braced her hands on Erik's arms and forced him to sit. She unfolded the entire story before him in French, trying to leave nothing out. She repeated, almost verbatim, the chain of events that Alastair had given them concerning Erik's abduction and subsequent torture. She did not go into detail about his mother or his sisters. On occasion, Alastair would embellish on the details, to make his point; but Margarite transferred the majority of the details.

Erik's eyes began to sting from unshed tears, his skeptic nature had put a wall up around his heart as Margarite told the incredible story. He creased his eyebrows and regarded Alastair through narrow eyes. When the story telling ceased, Erik stood up and headed for the window. All eyes followed him, eager to see what his reaction would be. He looked down at the street below, deep in thought.

His reserved voice echoed off the walls, "I am supposed to believe that after almost thirty years, my father has come waltzing back into my life on the eve of my soul-searching journey to present me with an incredible background of events that constitute my life?" His shoulders were rigid and his arms crossed his chest, Erik was very leery of anything that seemed too easy or too good to be true…for it probably was.

The similarities that Erik noticed between him and Alastair could easily be written off as coincidence. It was not unusual to share common traits with people you had not relation to. But why? **(Why would a seemingly very intelligent man who has visible signs of wealth and prestige construe that I am his long-lost son? I am certainly no fulfilled dream of what a father would want for a son. People want beautiful children; children they can brag about and openly praise.)** Erik felt his heart wretch deep within him, the wall had crumbled slightly at the possibility that Alastair could be his father; but the prospect was just ludicrous.

"I cannot allow myself to believe the preposterous story that you have related to me. You could not possibly believe that I am your son."Erik slowly turned to Alastair with deep sadness in his eyes and a soft, beautifully sad tone to his voice. "I am sorry to have wasted your time, your grace, but you will have to continue your search elsewhereIn those expressive eyes, Alastair saw the hurt and rejected boy that he knew he would see; but that boy was buried deep in the hard, impassive man that was sending him on his way.

Erik had so long dreamed of the opportunity to find some link to his past. He had accepted the fact that if he wanted to find anything, it would his efforts that would do it; he knew that no one would be looking for him. Who would want him?

Alastair was just the sort of man that Erik would want for his father…but he did not deserve to think of him as such. He was not ready to accept the sliver of hope that was invading his well-guarded heart; he would not allow the pain of disappointment to break down his defenses once again. He reinforced the wall around his heart and slammed all doors shut, dead bolting them against all invaders.

Alastair knew that this was it, the decisive moment. The only thing that he could think to do was present the picture that MacNera had drawn of Erik when he was five. The picture was perfect in every aspect; including the intense, unearthly beauty of Erik's left profile.

Alastair pulled himself to his full six-foot, one-inch height and proudly made his way over to Erik's side. He unfolded the crinkled parchment to reveal to Erik what could have easily been a self-portrait, one of the many that Erik had drawn over the years. Erik immediately saw the eyes, which bore into him from years gone by. The same sadness that stared back at him every time he ventured to look into a mirror was piercing his soul as he stared at the drawing Alastair held before him.

Erik's beautiful, soul-searching eyes closed in blessed relief. His countenance softened and tears pushed their way out of his long-lashed lids. The fortified wall around his heart came crumbling down like the Biblical Jericho wall, as acceptance of the truth invaded his soul. There was no doubt that the face staring back at him from the drawing was that of him, almost thirty years ago. Renunciation was futile and Erik was too intelligent to not see the truth when it presented itself.

Margarite watched with eager eyes as the unrelenting, hard-shelled man that she had come to know and love, became the loved and adored son of a father who doted on him. Erik allowed his mind to float back in time; further back than he had ever allowed before; back before MacNera and the Gypsies had twisted a small boy into the image of a monster. Erik looked into his father's eyes, feeling so unworthy of the love he saw residing in them. Caring nothing for pride or protocol, Erik fell on his knees and curled at his father's feet. Wrapping his strong arms around Alastair's legs, Erik wept.

**Chapter 19 preview – Family at last**


	19. Chapter 19

A Place in This World

CHAPTER 19

Everyone watched the reunion that was taking place before them; not a dry eye could be found. Both men wept with pent up emotions. Love, denied them for 30 years, poured out from every fiber of their beings. Alastair stroked Erik's dark head, relishing in the softness of his hair; a gesture that he had begun when Erik was just a few hours old and Alastair held him in his arms for the first time. The pride that swelled in his heart all those years ago, swelled in his heart again.

Time seemed to stand still for the father and son whose lives were ripped apart; for now, they were beginning the long road to recovery. After a few minutes of enjoying the caress of his father, Erik pulled himself up and led them to the couch. He compared his features to that of the man in front of him. There were definite similarities, more than Erik had, at first, been willing to see. Erik saw in Alastair his own chin, hair, deep-set eyes and full lips and had already noted the same body build and height; although Erik was taller by a few centimeters. He felt a kindred intelligence such as he had never felt before. (**I remember wanting to be just like this man…I must be a terrible disappointment to him.) **These thoughts were soon laid to rest as the conversation continued.

Alastair could not stop smiling. His son was back! "I never gave up hope that you would return to me Erik. You are more than my son…you are the hope of my family name and estate…I never gave up hope."

Erik's features had softened in such a way that he looked years younger. "My mother, is she well?" Erik's heart leapt in his chest at the thought that he had a mother that loved him and wanted him.

Erik's mind freed imprisoned memories; memories that came flooding back to him; lost moments in time that he never knew he missed…until now.

He smiled the most effervescent smile that anyone who knew him had ever seen. He remembered his mother's regal figure descending the magnificent spiral staircase in the entrance hall of their estate. Even at four, Erik had been in awe of her beauty. He still could not see that her beauty was his own. He could see her dancing blue eyes as if they were right in front of him; he had loved to stare into her eyes.

"Is she as beautiful as ever?" As he thought of his mother, other faces came into view. Smiling faces that loved him and cared about him, "My sisters…I remember my sisters…"Erik was overwhelmed with the well of emotions that bombarded him. The sense of belonging that had so long eluded him was enveloping him in a warm cocoon of love; something he was sure he would never experience.

Erik closed his eyes, lost in the past. Floods of memories poured over him like a warm soothing bath, leaving in their path the life that Erik had once had. He pictured his sisters as he remembered them, knowing they would have changed a great deal over the years. Their names rolled off his tongue.

He spoke with a Scottish accent in such a way that it seemed like he had never abandoned it; "Brietta, she's about 42 now…Kaitlyn…" Erik's smile grew bigger at the sound of her name; they had shared a special relationship…they were so much alike. She had taken his kidnapping the hardest, never leaving the house for weeks. She truly had mourned his loss as if he had died. "…my sweet Kaitlyn…I can't believe she is 40…and the twins, Erin and Eden…women of 38 years." Erik opened his eyes, pictures of them still floating in his head. "Tell me about them." Erik pleaded with joy in his voice.

All his life, robbed of the presence and love of women; now he would have the joy of women who loved him…maybe not the kind of love that he so yearned for; but love none the less.

It was as though no one else existed in the world except father and son. The others in the room just listened intently, not understanding all of the English words. Michél spoke fluent English and Margarite understood it more than spoke it, so they translated as best they could. Margarite and Christine had never felt happier in their lives. The man they both loved with such fervency was becoming the man they both knew he was born to be…and they both knew…it would mean letting him go.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The thought of not having Erik in her life ripped Christine apart; he had let her go that night in his lair, to give her a better life than he thought he could provide. He had broken his own heart to allow hers to beat; even if it meant that it beat for a different man**…(Why couldn't I give him the kind of love he so desperately wanted from me? It is no secret that I am terribly attracted to him, even he can't deny that. So why?)**

Christine debated with herself, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation. **(Daddy, I know that you were only looking out for my interests and well-being when you betrothed me to Raoul. I do love him; with a kind, sweet, gentle love that enfolds me in its sincerity; but…) **Christine sighed and looked heavenward,** (…my heart could so easily belong to another if you would have allowed it…but I cannot deny your wishes, even after your death.) **In her thoughts, Christine had her answer; she belonged with Raoul, it had always been. Her love for Erik would forever be a part of her; a deep-seeded longing that she could never allow to surface. Erik, thinking she only felt indebted to him for whatever reason; had already sensed this and had given her a way out.

Now, she had to let him go to live a life he was born to live and find the woman he was born to be with. Christine had never felt so jealous. Some other woman would cherish his passionate kisses and heated touches. Some other woman would have the joy of teaching him pleasures contained within the marriage bed, of waking up to his precious face every morning and nursing his babies at her breast. Life was so ironic; she loved two men equally, but in such different ways; did she deserve either one of them?

**(What a wicked woman I can be. I have Raoul, a man that loves me unconditionally. I know that I am being unfair to him right now, but Erik is sheer passion and fire…Raoul hardly possesses passion. His kisses are sweet and calming; but the one kiss; no, it was two kisses that I stole from Erik were full of forbidden passion and searing heat. Even know I feel my body react to the memory…I must forfeit these desires and live with my decision; that way, I will hurt nether of them.)** Christine fancied a look at Erik and in so doing, relinquished any hold she had on him. She had lost him that night in Margarite's parlor, she had just never accepted it until now. An immense sadness gripped Christine as she returned her thoughts to the current events.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Erik had already sealed his fate where Christine was concerned. Little did she know that that night in Margarite's parlor, he had unwound her fingers of possession that gripped his heart, and reclaimed it for himself. He wrapped it up tightly hiding it from the world once more, knowing it would never be the desire of any woman; for it beat within the chest of a monster. He experienced searing pain at the decision he had made. He knew that she deserved Raoul's tender love and flawless beauty. He buried the love he had for her and formed it into something else, entirely; the final result being a sincere desire to see her eternally happy and blessed…in the arms of another man; for she did not belong in his…no one did.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Alastair sat up straighter and proudly reacquainted Erik with his family. He filled in a few of the life events of the years past. He carefully relayed to Erik how much his abduction had affected each of his sisters. Brietta had turned inside herself; her studies had suffered and she blamed her mother for Erik's disappearance. Kaitlyn had cried non-stop for days, accepting no consoling from anyone. She refused to interact with her sisters and never left the house. This went on for months. She has never fully recovered from the loss of her brother; he was her best friend. Erin and Eden had been rather young, but they suffered in their own way. They reacted to the emotions of their siblings and felt the pain of the loss as profoundly as the others felt it.

Each sister had married into a prominent family. Not all were of noble background, but that had never been a prerequisite when courting the Lauchlan Ladies. All of the girls remained within close proximity of Berwithshire. Brietta had married young, at age 17. Her husband was a local baron, who was 20 years her senior. They loved each other though, and had four children to show for it; three daughters and a son.

Kaitlyn married when she was 19. Her husband, Fernando, had been a Marquis from Spain. He had unfortunately developed Typhoid Fever and passed away six years after they married. They had no children. They, too, had loved each other immensely…she had not loved since.

Erin married at 20 to a local successful businessman. He was the owner and manager of the largest bank in Glasgow. They had meant at a dinner party for one of his noble clientele, who just happened to be Erin's riding instructor. It was love at first sight. They now had three children, two boys and a girl.

Eden married an Irish Lord with flaming red hair and a temper to match. He loved her with a passion, matched only by his great wit. They had three children also, a boy and two girls; the youngest, Dierdre, had just been born a few days ago.

Erik registered every detail of what his father had told him. He wished beyond all things that he had been there to console Kaitlyn when Fernando had passed away; to lose someone you loved was something with which Erik was very familiar. His desire to be with his family was overwhelming.

His plans for the next few days had changed drastically and tomorrow he would have to cancel his appointment with Scotland Yard and book a ferry from London to Scotland. He had to get home to his mother and sisters. The last 29 years just seemed to fade away as though they did not exist. He was going home – just the thought of having a home, his own place in the world; made Erik feel like a brand new man.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It was getting rather late and Alastair was exhausted from travel and emotions, he placed his hand over his mouth as a yawn made his intentions known. He smiled tiredly, "I am sure that you young gents and ladies could stay up all night long reminiscing about days gone by, but I am walking in my sleep as we speak." Alastair stood up and Erik followed suit. "I have a room booked just down the hall. We'll take care of the rest of the business in the morning; after we break fast."

Alastair moved toward Erik awkwardly, not wanting to rush him. Erik reached for the older man tentatively, having no idea how to initiate intimacy between them. That was the only indication that Alastair needed. He wrapped his arms around Erik and cradled his head on his shoulder, speaking in a fatherly tone, "I love you Erik, the years and separation have not changed that…you are my son and whether you like it or not, you are stuck with me from here on out."

He leaned back from Erik bearing a smile that held no secrets. He was still embracing Erik and looking into his eyes; "You are flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone; the greatest treasure of my life and the child of my heart. You are a gift from God Almighty and He has seen fit to allow us to go through this valley; I never gave up on His grace and mercy…I knew my prayers were heard." Alastair gave Erik's shoulders a firm, loving squeeze.

Erik looked into the loving eyes of his father and saw a faith that he had never experienced. He longed to embrace his fathers joy with every heartbeat; how does one just suddenly ask God, a Being that Erik had turned his back on, to overlook all the times that His name had been cursed or the beauty of His creation scoffed at? How does one suddenly exercise a faith that was for so long denied?

Oddly, many thought that he did not even believe in God; but how could he not? There is intelligent design to the universe and its make-up; it takes a composer to make the symphony; it takes a potter or a painter to create a work of art, if there is no instrumentalist than the instrument is useless. It did not take a genius to see the Master Designer in every sunrise and sunset or in the simple, unsurpassed beauty of a rose; but Erik was a genius and he new that God did indeed exist.

Looking back on the events of his life, Erik saw the many things for which he was grateful. **(Maybe I will start acknowledging God's hand in my life on a more consistent basis. He never abandoned me, even when I abandoned Him.)** Erik smiled faintly and offered up a silent, heart-felt prayer that God would reveal Himself to Erik in a very real, unmistakable fashion.

Erik showed Alastair to the door and watched as he walked a few doors down to his room. It seemed strangely reassuring to Erik that his father was so close. What a strange sensation, he had never felt the desire for protection before; or maybe he just knew that the desire was futile. Either way, it was a new sensation for Erik.

Erik turned from the door and looked at his friends standing before him. His life had taken on a drastic change in the last few hours. He had a lot to think about and focus on. He approached Michél with a new light in his beautiful eyes. "If I did not know better, I would swear that the last few hours had been a dream. I cannot believe that I have a family that loves me and wants me back, despite my hideous face and terrible disposition." Erik could not wipe the smile off his face and everyone in the room reacted to his enthusiasm.

Erik headed towards his room while still deep in thought. He lifted his hand as an acknowledgement to the others that he was saying good night. He entered his room and gently shut the door. He removed his robe and stretched his long frame over the bed, slipping under the sheet. His thoughts dwelt on his overwhelming need to be with his mother. All his life he had thought that his mother could not stand the sight of him. Erik closed his eyes and lifted his thoughts toward heaven. He voiced what could possibly be the first sincere prayer from his heart; three simple words. **(Thank you, God.)** He slipped into a peaceful, pleasant, dream world where his mothers face and the laughter of his sisters ruled supreme.

**Chapter 20 preview – Late Night discussions and Michél's story**


	20. Chapter 20

A Place in This World

**Miffster – thank you for your words of encouragement; I hope I don't disappoint you with the angle of events that I take. Here is your update.**

CHAPTER 20

While Erik Lauchlan slept the best sleep he had ever had, his friends stayed up until early morning talking about what they had learned. All except Raoul; he had excused himself and went to his room down another hallway after Michél assured him the Christine and Margarite would be escorted safely home. They sat in the front room of the hotel suite and closed all the doors so they would not disturb Erik while he slept.

"I can hardly believe it; Erik is a Duke…and a Scottish Duke at that! I would have never thought it!." Margarite injected. "I mean, I have always felt, deep inside, that he was of noble birth…I just never dreamed..." Margarite paused; a huge, joyous smile took over the lower half of her face, "…a Duke…"

Christine set demurely, only half listening to the conversation. She still could not believe the generous gift that Erik had bestowed on Raoul and her. The more she thought about it, she began to see the hidden agenda behind the gift. In giving them the money to build an entirely new opera house, Erik had guaranteed that she would stay in Paris, far away from him and out of his life; two things that made her very unhappy.

Christine knew that she loved Raoul. Her love for him had always been there, she could not remember a time when she did not love him; he was a permanent fixture in her heart…but Erik…he threw her senses for a loop. Seeing Erik, oh so beautiful Erik, in a state of undress had made her body react to him in a very physical way. He was like a forbidden, tantalizing demigod that lured you and seduced you into submission; awesomely eerie and provocative, but at the same time, exciting and illicit. She never knew what Erik was going to do; he was unpredictable and conniving, but she had also witnessed him being playful and flirtatious.

Could a woman lust after a man as badly as she did Erik and not be committed to him? Could a comfortable, safe life wrapped in the arms of a man, whose only display of passion had been a few fleeting kisses, subdue the pounding waves of passion that surged through her body? If it couldn't, she would gladly hunt Erik down wherever he was and give herself to him as often as need be to quiet the raging lust that boiled in her veins. Of course, that avenue would not be very beneficial to either party, nor did she think Erik would allow such an intrusion on his life; especially his life with another woman. **(Blast it all! I need to stay as far away from Erik as I can! He has even taken measures to assure that I do. Stop dwelling on this you insipid fool, you are acting like a common harlot!)**

Margarite noticed the silence that had fallen on Christine. Inexplicably understanding what she was thinking, Margarite commented, "Christine, you cannot second guess your choices. Erik has a life to move into now…he has a home with a family. Your apprehension and doubts prove to me that you are not mature enough to commit fully to either man without inclination; Erik has sensed this. He made it easy on you by bowing out…take the open door that he presented to you and let him live his life."

Margarite saw the sad smile that graced Christine's tired features. Her voice was distant, "Do you know the forbidden thoughts that I have entertained about Erik? I am not even ashamed to admit them…what is wrong with me?"

The last was said with such intensity that Margarite had to reach over and grasp Christine's hand to calm her.

Margarite revealed her secret in a hushed tone, "You are not alone, my dear. I have also had indecent thoughts about Erik, especially since seeing him in nothing but his black, silk pants and open robe…my goodness…I never knew what beauty he possessed other than the left side of his face, his voice, his genius…the list seems endless. Now we can add body to that list."

Margarite smirked at the knowing smile that Christine gave her. Margarite winked at Christine and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "I thought these feelings died with Frank, but…obviously, I was wrong. Erik is a very potent, virile man: irresistible to say the least. Don't be too hard on yourself." Margarite let Christine's hand rest and sat back in her chair.

Christine eased a little bit but then looked at Michél as if suddenly remembering that he was in the room. She triggered a question at him that had been plaguing her mind since Alastair revealed to them who Erik really was. "Is there a woman waiting on Erik when he returns to Scotland? Do they have his life all mapped out for him much like Raoul's parents did his?"

Michél caught the slight tinge of jealousy that laced Christine's words. "I honestly don't know Christine. Erik's father and mother are very liberal in their thinking and have revolutionized the nobility in Scotland; I would venture to say that Erik will be allowed to choose the woman with whom he will settle down." Michél tried to sound affirmative in his tone, "It sounds like his sisters were able to choose their mates if the arranged betrothal was displeasing in any way…I trust that much the same practice will be allowed for Erik. Knowing Erik, he will make the decision far more difficult than it needs to be by slamming the wall down around his heart – again! I had a brief opportunity tonight, to discuss this with Lord Alastair. He will make sure that Erik's self-esteem is nurtured and built up; Erik has no faith in himself as a man. He doubts his ability to attract, court, win the heart of, and marry a woman; and nothing I say or do convinces him otherwise."

Michél pulled his watch out and gasped at the time. "We really need to settle in for the night, it is 1:30 in the morning! Come ladies, I will see you home."

They managed to get a carriage to carry them the 20-minute ride home. As Margarite and Christine exited the carriage, Margarite turned to Michél, "Please promise me that you will not allow Erik to leave without allowing us to say good bye."

Michél smiled and squeezed her hand, "You know that I won't…come to the hotel around 7 am, we'll know a little bit more then."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The next morning started out early for Michél. He did not get to bed until 2:00 in the morning and arose at 5:30. He headed for the train station upon Erik's instructions and purchased three tickets to London and three ferry tickets to Scotland. He was back to the hotel by 6:45 to find Erik and Alastair sitting in the front room. Erik was eating a banana while Alastair was playing a game of solitaire. It amused Michél to see just how much alike they were. They even sat the same.

"All the bags are packed Michél…I knew you were going to ask." Erik smiled at Michél as he teased him.

"Is that all you are going to eat Erik? You are going to turn into a mere wisp in the wind if you do not put some meat on your bones!" Michél teased right back.

Both men laughed, realizing that their laughter was lighter and contained none of the underlying sadness that had too long accompanied it.

"Michél, you realize that you are under no obligation to follow me, correct?" Erik changed the subject and his tone was serious but strained. He did not want to lose Michél's influence in his life…he had been a good friend. "This is my life, not yours."

Michél smiled and went over to Erik. He took the larger man in his arms and gave him the hug of a brother, a title that Michél had long ago bestowed on Erik, if only in his mind. Erik, knowing that he had long robbed this man of the true affection that he felt for him, hugged him back. "I will go with you to the ends of the earth Erik; you saw me when no one else did…I owe you everything."

Watching the exchange between these two long friends, Alastair saw the family that Erik had acquired while being separated from his blood family. He could not help but smile at the sibling quibbling that was going on between these two grown men. He was curious as to how these two happened upon each other.

As he was about to ask for a detailed report on that, Alastair heard the knock on the door. He opened the door to Raoul, Christine and Margarite.

"I don't remember ever having this many visitors in my Opera House." Erik stated with amusement.

"I don't remember you being this inviting at your Opera House, Erik!" Margarite retorted back with amusement.

Erik's eyes danced with laughter as he greeted her with a kiss to the cheek, something he had rarely done.

Margarite blushed at the contact, "Erik, I do believe that you would have easily won my heart, as well as the hearts of all the young ladies, had you been this charming to begin with."

Erik laughed, not taking her at all seriously, "Now you're just being insulting as well as ridiculous."

Margarite smiled a vibrant smile that told Erik she believed she spoke the truth. Erik showed them in and they all went into the cozy dining area where Erik had just finished preparing a fruit salad and some fresh, warm bread with marmalade. There was enough for everyone.

There was little conversation as everyone satisfied their hunger. However, the silence did not last long.

"Erik, how did you and Michél meet?" The question came from Alastair who had been anxious to learn about this curious relationship.

All eyes rotated to Erik, there was great interest in the answer that would come.

"I don't think that is necessary, Michél's involvement in my life can remain a heavily guarded secret." Erik did not even blink as he spoke; his resolve on the issue was evident in his tone.

Michél's injection was forthcoming, "Erik, these people need to know, that even back then, you were not the inhumane, vile man that everyone thought you were." Erik's shoulders slumped in defeat. Michél leaned forward in his chair, "I will tell you my story…

FLASHBACK (third person)

_Paris; December 1858_

Snow fell relentlessly, making vision very impaired. It was the coldest night that Erik had experienced in a long time. Having just returned to Paris after a long, 6-year hiatus in Istanbul, Erik had missed the look and feel of Paris, but he had not missed her people. Bitterness crept back into his heart as he remembered the hatred and belligerence of the Parisians as they gawked at the young man in the mask…no, he had not missed the people at all; he had missed Margarite, she was the only one.

He barely felt human now. He had been privy to some of the most inhumane acts ever performed on anyone when he stood in the streets of Istanbul. He thought no one had ever been treated as badly as he was…he soon found out to the contrary. While there, he learned some most valuable techniques. He worked himself doggedly as he pushed his body to limits that doctors and physical scientists would tell you were beyond the capabilities of the human body; but Erik had done it. His body was a weapon; capable of issuing a deathblow from any angle and in any position; the world that had turned its back on Erik would now have to face his wrath…his deadly wrath. But why did he find no joy in his accomplishments?

Erik, so wrapped up in his inner turmoil, almost toppled over on top of a large object lying in the middle of the sidewalk. He bent to remove it, when he heard a soft, pitiable moan. His uncanny eyesight adjusted quickly to the night cover and he was astonished to see that the "object" was a man, not much older than he was. The man was in a state of disarray; looking like he had been starved and beaten.

Erik was not in the habit of picking up stray humans and mending them back to health; in fact, he had never even considered it before. This man stank of urine and feces and was completely filthy. Erik, thinking the man must be homeless; reflected on his own fortunate salvation years ago and saw no harm in allowing the man to clean up and eat and maybe even get a good night's sleep down in his lair.

Upon a closer look, Erik saw that the man was half frozen. He barely had clothes on and definitely had no outer covering to protect him from the cold. Erik jostled the man up onto his broad shoulders, ignoring the stench that wafted to his nose.

The opera house offered Erik all the things the loved most; solitude in his lair, music in the auditorium, women to admire and frighten, and a quiet place to work and play. The latter two usually involved the same activities.

He had never allowed anyone to interrupt his sanctuary. Not even Margarite entered without fair warning. But this night, Erik found himself nursing a man back to health. When he arrived at the lair, Erik laid the man gently down on the carpet beside the organ. He got some water from the spring that passed through his home and heated it up on the wood burning stove. Erik was no doctor, but he had a vast knowledge of the human anatomy and understood injuries and their nature. This man had been beaten, but not recently. The injuries were old, maybe days old.

After removing what few clothes were on the man, Erik noticed just how emaciated he was. It looked like no food had passed this man's lips for days, maybe weeks. The injuries to the upper torso and head were older, but still looked festered and painful. A fever was raging through his body, causing him to be delirious. He shivered uncontrollably; whether from the cold or the fever, Erik was unsure.

The water was finally heated and Erik went about cleaning the man up. He was a great deal shorter than Erik was and much thinner, due to starvation. After cleaning him up, Erik wrapped him in a warm blanket and set about finding some clothing that he could modify to fit the man. Erik dressed and tended to his wounds, noting the ones that needed greater attention. He would have to ask Margarite to provide him with some infection fighting medicine.

He stayed up day and night for 72 consecutive hours as he placed cold compresses to his forehead to break the fever. He took a brief few moments to contact Madam Giry and ask for her help. She gave him the needed medication, thinking it was for him; he said nothing to convince her otherwise.

After the 72 hours, Erik began seeing a noticeable difference in the man's coloring. He was no longer so pale and death-like. His cheeks actually began to get some rosy shading back and Erik finally allowed himself to sigh in relief. He had never felt such a sense of purpose as he did when nursing this man back to health.

Another couple of days went by and Erik entered the room carrying a tray of fruit, only to find a pair of light brown eyes staring at him in bewilderment.

"How are we feeling today?" Erik asked in French, not considering that he may not be French. "You have had quite a time of it lately, from the looks of you when I found you…are you hungry?"

The man had no idea how to react. He was shaken by the kindness being shown him by this mysterious man in the mask.

"Where did you find me, Monsieur?" The voice was weak, but articulate.

Erik regarded him with guarded eyes, and spoke in an equally guarded tone, "I literally tripped over you five nights ago while walking down Parlé Street. I could not just leave you there, so I brought you to my home to recuperate."

"No one has paid me any mind for weeks…thank you…I don't know how I will ever repay you." The statement was said through strained lips, as the man was fighting back sobs.

Erik brushed his gratitude aside with an elegant sweep of his hand, "I do not expect any repayment; I did what any normal person would have done." The man tried to stand but Erik was immediately at his side, propelling him back into the bed.

"You need to stay where you are, your strength is still returning…here, eat some fruit and I have some fresh tea made." Erik turned away to get the tea but stopped and once again addressed the man. "What is your name, if I may ask?"

At first, Erik thought the man would refuse to answer him, but he was encouraged to hear him reply, "My name is Michél Pinchót."

Erik did not hound the man for explanations immediately. He allowed him to recover for a few more days. He never left the lair, except to obtain food. As a result, he needed to shave, have his clothes cleaned, and pick up parchment paper and ink. He had not gone out for basic supplies and was quickly running out of everything. He was down to wearing plain breeches and an open shirt. The tenants were probably beginning to think "The Phantom" no longer existed.

Later that afternoon, after his patient had napped and eaten, Erik broached the subject that had littered his mind for days. "Well Michél, I do believe it is time you tell me your story. Why were you lying on the sidewalk, almost dead?" Erik did not wait for an answer just yet,"What misfortune has befallen you?...Your speech belies your attire and dilapidated appearance."Erik moved to set on the bed next to his visitor, "You are an educated man…what happened?"

Michél had come to trust this puzzling man whose care of him had been better than he could have expected in any hospital. He sat up, propping himself on the pillows. His strength had returned, approaching the strength he had possessed as a younger man. He was not proud of the story he was going to tell Erik, but he must; he owed him at least that much.

He told of how he had been a partner in a very lucrative, but somewhat illegal, business venture. He was living high on the hog - women, wine, great food, the best living quarters; everything a man could possibly want.

Michél grew up in a modest family. He never seemed to want for anything. His father was a merchant and his mother a seamstress. He was educated in the finest schools that his father's money could buy and Michél was an avid student. When he was 12, both of his parents died in a carriage accident, leaving Michél to the care of his shrew of a grandmother who cared not what young Michél did. Needless to say, he got in with the wrong crowd and proceeded down the path of self-destruction.

He made a particularly good move, it seemed to him, and befriended the son of the chief of police. As it turned out, he was a wicked boy with a penchant for the fast life. He got young Michél involved in many shady dealings that taught him to cheat, lie, and manipulate others into giving up their life investments to these "brokers" who would guarantee their money would be returned three fold. Of course, that never happened and the boys began calling this their "business". They were quite adept at it.

One particular morning, about five months ago, his partner decided to take it upon himself to invest all his money in a money-doubling scheme. Knowing that Michél would not agree to this, he "borrowed" Michél's share of the profits and proceeded to lose every last bit of his money. His partner had protected his investment, but had not taken such precautions with Michél's share. In a matter of hours, his entire life collapsed around him.

He lost his home, his nest egg, his reputation – everything. Michél found himself living on the streets, unable to find any kind of job. He had no real skills, he had been a scavenger all his life; living off the success of others. No one cared about a beggar with no hope. He slipped into the world of the invisible and unworthy, not eating or sleeping for days at a time. Other vagabonds and drifters would beat him on the off chance that he had something of value on him. His last beating had been especially severe and brutal. When they had found nothing, they stole his dilapidated shoes, ripped his clothing and left him for dead. That had been his life for five excruciating months.

Michél was not sure how Erik would react to the knowledge that he had been a thief, a very good one at that. He could never repay this man for the kindness he had shown him and had no desire to offend him any way. He held his breath for what seemed like hours as many different emotions played on Erik's face.

Erik knew that it had been hard for Michél to reveal his past indiscretions to him. He felt honored that Michél trusted him. Erik continued to treat the remaining injuries on Michél's torso over the next few days and got him up regularly to exercise his muscles before atrophy set it. They became more and more comfortable around each other and developed a friendship that both men craved, but neither would admit to needing.

END FLASHBACK

…Erik eventually revealed his deep, dark secrets to me and I tried to put some life into this brilliant, self-loathing man…he taught me to be the man I am today instead of the selfish braggart that I was just a few short years ago. I pledged my service to him for life…for when I was invisible, Erik saw me." Michél's voice was barely above a whisper, but everyone heard the admiration, gratitude and love in his voice.

**Chapter 21 preview – Where do we go from here?**


	21. Chapter 21

A Place in This World

**eriksangelofvoice – I am so excited to have you reading my story. Thank you for commenting. The scene where Michél reveals his past was meant to be light-hearted, for Michél wants his audience to understand that Erik is really a compassionate man who has not been allowed to show that side of himself very much. I hope you enjoyed it and will enjoy the rest of what is to come. Thank you.**

CHAPTER 21

Everyone in the room looked at Erik, sprawled out in his chair; his long legs crossed in front of him with a look on his face that was hard to identify. He moved only his eyes as he allowed them a moment to think.

Finally he shrugged his shoulders and pulled his legs in; leaning forward with his head down, elbows resting on his muscular thighs, and his hands dangling between his knees, he stated, "I felt sorry for him, pitiful creature; what was I supposed to do…leave him to die in the streets?...I helped him – no big deal."

Margarite threw her wadded napkin at his broad back as he stood up and stretched his long frame, "It would have been a welcome reprieve Erik, to see the human side of you more often. You were always 'The Phantom'…what you did for Michél puts the rest of Paris to shame; for many turned their backs on him before you became the Good Samaritan."

Erik feigned shock at the "gall" of having a napkin tossed at him, "Woman, you tread on thin ice by wielding a weapon on me…prepare to defend yourself."

He stalked up to Margarite and did something that he had not done in many years. He knelt down behind Margarite's chair, placed his chin on her shoulder, reached around from the back and tickled her without mercy, while her joyous laughter echoed off every wall. She had always liked being tickled; it brought back fond memories of her father, whom she had loved dearly...how she had missed it.

Erik allowed Margarite to breathe once more and strolled back to his chair, the grin on his face making Margarite feel so happy. **(This is how it should have been years ago…no stress or worry; just Erik being a charming boy and then becoming an irresistible man.)**

She gathered her wits and asked, "So, what are the plans for today?"

Michél took it upon himself to answer that question. "Lord Alastair, Lord Erik, and myself all have tickets for the train today at 5:25 p.m. We're headed for London where we will pick up the Chisolm Ferry to Glasgow, Scotland on Thursday morning. If all goes smoothly, we should be at Lauchlan Estate by Thursday, late morning or early afternoon."

Erik allowed a fleeting moment of panic to sweep over him. In all his wildest dreams, he never thought he was an aristocrat. Oh, he played the part well; the impeccable and expensive clothes, the manner of his speech, his level of education, and the way he carried himself; but he never dreamed he actually was one. Could he truly play the part for real? He knew nothing of what was expected of him. He supposed he would learn as time went on.

He happened upon Margarite's tearful eyes, and got up and went to her. He pulled up the chair beside her and sat sideways on it.

Taking her hand in his, he gave a concerned squeeze and caressed her fingers, "What is it Margarite? I thought you would be happy for me."

Margarite smiled as the tears spilled over. She cupped Erik's smooth cheek, rubbing the surface with her thumb; mesmerized by his luminescent beauty, "I am Erik…really…" She fought her tears heroically, but eventually just gave up, "…I just can't imagine the indescribable joys that await you as you reunite with your mother and sisters…I would really like to be there…" She lifted her pleading eyes into Erik's somber ones, "I know, it's not my place…but I just would like to be there…"

Erik pulled her to him, giving her a hug that a son would give his mother. "Nonsense Margarite, if anyone has a right to be there, it's you…" He pulled back and lifted her trembling chin with his index finger, "…look at me…you have been the only mother I have known for more years than I care to remember…but you have a daughter that will be returning to you in a couple of days and…" Erik tweaked her chin between his thumb and index finger and gave her a sexy wink, "…you have a certain police inspector who seems very interested in courting you." His tone changed from jesting to brotherly advisor, "Live your life Margarite. You have been tangled up in mine for so long that I fear you have lost a sense of self and have given up on living your dream." Erik leaned in and gave her a peck on the cheek, "Albert is a good man and you are a great woman…allow yourself to see where it goes; you know where I will be and you will always have a place to come."

Margarite wiped her tears with her kerchief and smiled an uncertain smile at Erik. "Alright Erik, but you be sure and write to me about what is happening in your life. I want to be the first in Paris to know whom you are courting, and definitely, whom you marry. I am sure that Alastair and Brianna are anticipating grandchildren from their only son."

She returned his wink with one of her own, she knew Erik doubted his ability to capture a woman's heart. She doubted her would ever be confident in his own attractiveness.

Erik laughed her comment off, doubting that two of those events would ever take place, "Margarite, should miracles never cease and some poor woman inadvertently marry me, and, horror of horrors, allows me close enough to her to conceive a child;"He shook his head and smirked at her,"you will be the first to know!"

He gave her another hug and pulled himself up out of the chair. Margarite thought how heavenly it was to be in his arms. He would marry, she knew it; and that lucky woman would hold on to him for dear life, knowing that she was given an opportunity to have and to hold one of God's most beautiful angels while walking the earth.

Erik stood at the window, looking very ominous; of course, that was just an illusion that Raoul entertained as he quietly approached the bigger man. Erik could hear him coming up behind him; his ears tuned to many indiscernible sounds that most of humanity could not hear. Most of the time, he could tell who the person was just by the pattern of the footfalls as they made their way toward him.

"My lord, I don't think I have properly thanked you for the generous gift you gave us earlier. It was completely unexpected." The sincerity in Raoul's voice gave Erik pause to turn from the window and regard him with no animosity in his eyes. "I looked over the musical selections that you gave to us; I am not a composer or a musician, but I know quality when I see it."Raoul lowered his eyes and focused them on the wall,"I must admit that I was completely unaware of your talents…I mean; I knew you sang and composed, but I never knew that you could compose such masterpieces as 'Lord of the Dance' or 'Imperfect World'. These two, in particular, moved me to tears."

Raoul turned toward the window, not sure of how Erik would respond to his open appraisal"You could have been a world famous composer, had you been compelled to come out of hiding…maybe I can have the opportunity to repay you for your generosity by attaching your name to these magnum opuses…please allow me to do this."

Erik gave a slight nod, letting Raoul know that he appreciated the compliment, "Raoul, my gifts have served to bring me nothing but pain in the past. I will continue to exercise my architectural interests and my artistic inclinations; but music…my first and greatest love, will cease until I find some other inspiration…and by the way, just call me Erik."

Raoul gave the nod this time, "As you wish." He paused a moment, a serious crease invaded his handsome face. "Erik, I have given this much thought over the last few days; should anything ever happen to me, please promise me that you will look after Christine…" Erik lifted his head in disbelief, his shoulders were immediately rigid, making him seem even more formidable, "…she loves you, I know this...I am not much younger than you are, and I realize that she is still a child in many ways. I don't believe she has it in her to commit to either one of us completely; she is concerned about the pain she will cause."

Erik smirked at Raoul and shook his head; thanking God that Raoul realized this also. "I wondered if you had drawn the same conclusion that I had; I see that you have…her feelings for me are congruent with those of a dear friend or teacher, and I am thankful that she looks on me with any favor at all, but it is you that she is IN love with."Erik placed a strong hand on Raoul's shoulder and looked at him with concern, "You know that I will never allow anything to happen to her; but isn't that a position that your family should take?"

Raoul spoke with bitterness evident in every word, "I do not trust my family to have Christine's best interest at heart…I only trust you for that. My father does not approve of the union and will do everything in his power to take what is legally Christine's, should something happen to me." Raoul gave a hesitant smile,"I know that you will not back down with him as your adversary; I have made my wishes known in writing and placed the will in my personal safety deposit box at the Bank of Paris. I have left written instructions that the only two people allowed into that box are Christine and Lord Erik Lauchlan, otherwise known to them as 'The Phantom'." He smiled a sad smile, "There are things, political things, happening in France that I fear will put a strain on the nobles as well as many others. I do not know what will happen…I just want to make sure that she will be taken care of."

Erik placed his hand on Raoul's arm and gave a gentle squeeze, "She will be…you just get that opera house up and running. In no time, it will be a major source of income for you." Erik gave a friendly tap to Raoul's shoulder, "Put the opera house in Christine's name and all the profits will be hers, especially if something were to happen to you. I would only have to act as financial advisor in that instance…Christine is quite capable of running the business part of it on her own."

Raoul considered the astuteness of Erik's recommendation. It made perfect sense. "I'll do that." Raoul turned to leave but thought of one more thing to bring up, "You really have no romantic interest in her anymore, do you?"

Erik dropped his eyes, looking to the side of Raoul at nothing in particular, "She was the unfortunate recipient of my obsessive, compulsive counterpart…she has entirely too much of life yet to discover and I have seen so much of life that I am ready to find my niche. She needs freedom to expand her horizons…I only want to find peace…these two paths are headed in opposite directions." Erik looked into Raoul's eyes and they both found a common ground. "If, and I emphasis if, I ever truly find love, it will be with a woman, not a child…and she will be my equal in every way. She will challenge my mind and my spirit; making me a better man than I ever thought I could be…she will completely give her heart to only me and in her arms I will feel the meaning of the word 'forever'. When I find that; then, and only then, will I give my heart – completely."

Raoul silently prayed that Erik would find the kind of love he sought. He felt no victory rise in his heart over having Christine at his side and not Erik's. Erik had rescinded his hold on Christine and allowed Raoul to step in and take over. There was no victory in that; just sincere gratitude and admiration. Raoul doubted that he could have done the same.

It was nearing lunchtime and Alastair suggested they all go down to the corner café where he had originally started this little reunion. It was time that he introduced his son to Paris and allowed them see him for what and who he was; Lord Erik Bryant Lauchlan, Third Earl of Berwithshire. He sure wished he could be in more than one place at a time; he would love to see the faces on everyone as they discover who the infamous Phantom really is.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

The laughter mingled with tears as the hour of Erik's departure grew near. Margarite drank in his deep, rare laugh and his calm, serene splendor; knowing that it could possibly be a long time before she saw him again. Christine sat demurely next to Raoul. She had accepted that Erik was removing himself from her life, but she found her eyes scanning his irresistible beauty, forever engraving his image in her mind. She and Raoul had already discussed visiting Scotland in the months to come; after they married. She was already looking forward to that time.

Raoul was anxious to move on and begin his new life with Christine and the Opera de Changy. He knew that he was forever indebted to Erik, but he was oddly at ease with that prospect. There was no one in his life who had ever given him as much as Erik had in the last few days. He had given him Christine when he could have so easily had her himself. He had given him the means to become an independent man apart from his family business and reputation; and he had provided him with the most beautiful music and lyrics that Raoul had ever seen or heard; original works of art that Erik had pinned under the pseudonym of Clément Doumergue. Raoul had taken it upon himself to make sure that Lord Erik Bryant Lauchlan was given credit for writing these future masterpieces.

After lunch, they all headed back to the hotel. The bags were loaded onto the carriage, leaving just enough room for Erik, Alastair and Michél to crawl in and ride somewhat comfortably to the train station. Erik pulled Margarite into his strong embrace, encouraging her to rest her head on his broad shoulder.

He allowed tears of gratitude and friendship to announce his true feelings for this dear woman who had become many things to him as the years had past. "You will always be my guardian angel, Margarite. Thank you for caring for me when all others turned their backs."

Erik held her for a few minutes, reveling in the contact. When he pulled back from her, he placed a brotherly kiss on her cheek. She lifted luminescent eyes to his and smiled despite the ache in her heart and the twist in her stomach. "You really are the most beautiful man I have ever had the privilege of knowing; and that includes your face. Don't ever change your humble opinion of yourself, but I want you to gain confidence in your appeal…I will come and check on your progress, you can be assured of that."

Erik cast a charming smile down at her and gently caressed her right cheek. "What you say is sweet Margarite, complete nonsense, but sweet." He gave her one last hug before moving on to Raoul.

Erik took the hand of friendship that Raoul proffered, giving his hand a strong, firm shake. Erik clasped the younger man on the arm in a brotherly fashion and smiled with sincere affection at this man who had suddenly become very dear to him.

"Take good care of her Raoul, she is a rare jewel." With those words, Raoul knew that Erik had severed all attachments with Christine, even though the pain was still lingering in his eyes. "I will, and you will find your rare jewel; I feel that she is closer than you know."

Erik smiled a sad but sincere smile, "My jewel will be my art and music; they alone will provide my legacy, for celibacy and loneliness are destined to be my only true companions…no woman could tolerate me."

Erik flippantly spoke the last phrase, hoping that Raoul would not see the pain that permanently housed itself in his eyes; it did not work. Erik moved quickly from Raoul to Christine, for this particular good-bye would be the hardest.

Christine's chin trembled as she fought to hold back her tears. She drank in his gorgeous face and pulled him into a tight hug, closely pressing his warm, hard body close to her female softness. She felt the strength confined within his well-muscled frame and breathed in the intoxicating scent that was all Erik. She had forgotten how delicious he always smelled; like a clean, crisp, morning breeze carrying on its wings the first dewdrops destined for the Morning Glories blooming in the garden. He smelled of perfectly aged leather and shaving cream too, but he had his own special blend of spices and exotic elixirs that he construed for his use only. He smelled like sensual passion on legs. Christine held him close for several seconds, just listening to his heartbeat.

She smiled through the tears and spoke with conviction, "You will have a woman in your life that will love you unconditionally and completely Erik. I know you will…don't miss her when she finds you." Christine pulled back and examined Erik, "You really are about the most devastatingly handsome man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing; someday, you will know this."

Erik smiled through tear-filled eyes and placed a chaste kiss on Christine's cheek. "You are delusional…but thank you for the kind words…be happy Christine…make him happy…have many babies and grow pleasantly plump in the afterglow."

Erik gently lifted her chin with his index finger and looked deep into her eyes, "I will be fine. I have a mother and father to get to know and sister's who, I'm sure, are conjuring up ways to shatter my nerves as we speak." Erik noted the poignant smile that Christine gave him and the tears running down her cheeks. "We will see each other again, my dear. By then you will have grown in love for Raoul and birthed a baby or two…I look forward to seeing little Christine's and Raoul's running about." Erik placed one more kiss on her cheek before turning to get into the carriage.

All good-byes having been said, the carriage rolled away from the curb and headed for the train station. Everyone's life that been drastically changed. The coming days would surely bring more change and with that change, promise.

**Chapter 22 preview – Her.**


	22. Chapter 22

A Place in This World

**Thank you for my reviews, I have warm fuzzy feelings for all of you (blowing kisses). Please bring more, I never tire of reading what you write to me. If there is a problem and you state it in your review, I will do my best to remedy it. Thanks for your honesty.**

CHAPTER 22

Lady A'awynn Yancey did not feel like a lady at this particular moment. Her long, wavy, auburn hair was falling wispily around her heart-shaped, dirt covered face, playfully escaping the pull that she had used to put it up. The paisley dress she wore was painfully soiled, which matched the rest of her, all the way down to her dainty bare feet. The colorful array of pansies that she had just finished bedding was joyfully laughing at her as each flower seemed to reach for the sun. A'awynn stood up and placed her filthy hands at the small of her back and bent backwards, removing some of the tension that had settled there from bending over for too long.

A hoard of children, all just as filthy as she, came traipsing up to her. They ranged in age from three-years-old to eleven-years-old. She grinned as they approached her. "Lady Awyn, Lady Aywn!" Four-year-old Carlie Hanson could not yet pronounce the unusual name correctly, but she bounced eagerly up to A'awynn waving a letter in her face. "Thish jus comed fur you," she said with a very evident lisp. "Can we herred what it says? Please, purdy please!"

A'awynn snatched the letter from the little grimy hand and scooped the pint size girl up into her lap as she plopped down on the well-kept lawn. The other children gathered around her as she opened the letter. "It is from my best friend in Scotland, Kaitlyn Balinero; Lady Kaitlyn Balinero. She is writing me to let me know about her family." A'awynn glanced up at the eager faces that waited for her every word. "Oh alright! I'll just read the letter to you!"

The thin paper was unfolded and A'awynn cleared her throat, the words were read with the greatest of dramatic flair, pretending like she was addressing the finest gathering of the highest nobles in all of the United Kingdom.

"**Dearest A'awynn,**

**I hope this letter finds you well. Your work at the orphanage is so important and I am so proud of you for taking on this foreboding but rewarding task. Not enough nobles get involved with their people to the point that you do. I find it very refreshing; and I will join you again some time soon.**

**The main reason for my letter is to let you know of something wonderful that has happened (No, I have not meant a man). Father has finally located Erik! After all these years, I will have my brother with me again! I am so thankful to God for this answer to our prayers. Mother is beside herself with joy and has spent the last two days in a prayerful vigil; giving God the glory for this wonderful blessing!**

**Father and Erik should be here by Thursday, May 18; just two days! So I am sure that by the time you receive this letter, they will already have been here for a period.**

**Please make an effort to come as soon as you can and spend some time with us. I really want you to meet Erik, as he is very special to me. You indicated that your stint with the orphanage was going to be up on the June 1, so I am anticipating your arrival soon thereafter.**

**It has been a long two years since I have seen you and I am anxious to get caught up on all the events that have happened in your life; beginning, of course, with any eligible men that you have encountered. The last time you wrote, you had been seeing a man named Wesley Gardner, how is that progressing?**

**I so look forward to seeing you soon. After Fernando died, you were the only one that kept my head above the water. I know that you loved James, but I also know that his loss was not as devastating to you as it would have been if he were not more of a father figure to you than a husband. **

**But alas, these are subjects destined for late night jaunts in the gardens and afternoon strolls by the lake. I know that I am rattling on and on, so I will end this gibberish. I anticipate your arrival with baited breath.**

**Always Yours,**

**Kaitlyn"**

A'awynn folded the letter back up and placed it in the right pocket of her worn dress. Yes, her stay was coming to an end at the Wilton Orphanage. She had volunteered for this humbling experience when the priest at St. John's had asked her if she would be willing to represent the modern nobility on behalf of the Parrish. A'awynn had readily accepted and had left the following week to begin her "ministry".

For months, she had been at a loss for ways to escape the ordinary, mundane existence of the noble woman. Her independent spirit and vast wealth, thanks to her late husband, allowed her the means to pursue avenues that other women could only dream of. The orphanage had given her the opportunity to combine her deep love of children with her need to explore the unknown. It had worked famously.

A'awynn had discovered that money could not buy you everything. These children, none of whom had any wealth whatsoever, were the mainstay of her life. She planned her days around them; she planned her nights around them…she planned her life around them. They loved unconditionally, not expecting anything in return. They had won her heart in a matter of moments.

"Are you going to go and meet Erik?"Lance Dermont questioned. He was a sandy-haired pre-adolescent with the biggest crush on A'awynn. He had dancing, baby blue eyes and the cutest pug nose spattered with freckles.

A'awynn replied back, "Yes, Lance. I am. My friend needs me to do this for her and she has been there for me on many occasions. It is the least I can do."

"Are you going to take Lacey with you?" Darma Morrison asked. Darma was going to be a real beauty in time. She had bright, hazel eyes and long, chestnut colored hair. She stood 5'2" already, and she was only 9!

A'awynn thought about her own 5'8" frame, she was considered tall for a woman in any polite society. "Yes Darma, I am. Lacey is my daughter now, and I love her as though I had given birth to her myself." Satisfied with her answers, the children disbanded quietly, leaving a wake of laughter in their stead.

A'awynn thought long and hard about Kaitlyn's letter. It would be good to go home, but she was going to miss this little corner of Ireland where she had spent the last two years of her life. She was so far away from the hustle and bustle of Dublin and Glasgow. She was far away from the demands of being the widow of an English Lord. James had definitely left her enough money to do as she desired; for he had no living relatives to weasel their way into her life and demand retribution or reward.

She was so deep in thought, that A'awynn almost ran right into little Lacey. "Hi mama, can we go pick daffodils now? You promised we would later…and now it's later!" The jubilant child was jumping up and down; her blond curls bouncing unendingly and her hands folded as if in prayer. She jammed her eyes shut and pleaded with A'awynn. Her lips were moving, but the words were barely audible as she continued her ministrations. "Purdy please! Please, please, please! I'll be good…I'll be the bestest little girl in all the world…the universe…the bestest!"

A'awynn was having a hard time keeping a straight face. What could she possibly do when faced with such child-like beauty? She squatted down and pulled Lacey into a motherly hug, relishing the feel of her tiny body in her arms. "Yes Lacey, we will go pick daffodils…I have something I need to talk to you about…so you have to promise to listen, alright?" Lacey was staring intently at A'awynn as she spoke. Her big grey eyes focused on A'awynn and her little head was bobbing up and down in an affirmative motion.

Mother and daughter walked hand in hand, swinging their interlocked hands back and forth while skipping down the clean, albeit sparsely decorated hallway. They giggled and played catch-me-if-you-can as they ran the few yards to the daffodil field. This was the time that A'awynn loved the most, just her and Lacey being a family. Her heart ached to give this little girl what she lost so tragically and abruptly two years ago.

A'awynn remembered that night as if it were yesterday. She had just arrived in the small town that housed the orphanage and a handful of residents. There was a place of worship and a spattering of tiny shops and sidewalk peddlers, but the town was quaint and darling. It was just the haven that A'awynn was looking for. The priest had said that this was the perfect place for her to find the purpose that she so longed for. Losing her parents and James had left a terrible scar on her heart; and her Uncle Urien was not the guardian she would have wanted him to be. She just needed to get away.

She was no more that a few feet from the train station when she heard the rattling of a carriage that seemed to be in a big rush. Several locals were screaming for volunteers to ride about a mile up the road to the Hartford Family's home. Apparently, it was on fire and the family was trapped inside. A'awynn could not stop her hand from flying into the air and her feet scurrying as quickly as they could toward the carriage. She crawled halfway into the open back and was pulled the rest of the way up by many hands.

The carriage quickly continued its ramble toward the house. In her rush to volunteer, she had left her luggage setting on the street corner. She looked up in a panic and noticed a rather grandmotherly figure wave to her and indicate that her bags would be held for her in the building she pointed to. A'awynn felt certain that things would be just as she thought.

She placed her hand over her eyes to shield the sun and could see the line of smoke coming into view. It was a rolling black cloud as it ascended into the air from the house. She had surmised from the conversation, that there was a husband, wife and two little girls in the house. A'awynn prayed fervently that everyone had gotten out safely. She could see the concern on the faces of those with whom she rode. In a town this small, everyone knew everyone.

The house came into view and the billowing cloud of smoke told the whole story. The heat emanating off the building was overwhelming and the men jumped from the moving carriage before the horses came to a halt. Neighbors had already gathered and started the assembly line from the river to the house; buckets of water passed from person to person. The efforts were grandiose, but the results were minute.

A'awynn felt completely helpless as she stood at the side of the house, staring up at the shambles that was left of what had once been a happy home. She looked away as she was completely overwhelmed with tears. The tragic loss of this family was going to be hard for the small community to cope with. She looked back briefly and thought she saw movement in the upper left window. Chills ran up her spine, for she thought that perhaps it was an apparition. Then, she saw it again…it was very distinctly the figure of a small child desperately hanging half-way out the window as she was surrounded by smoke.

A'awynn ran desperately back to the front of the house, screaming to the others to help her; she had found a survivor! Everyone within hearing distance followed her to the side of the house. A blanket was placed about three feet off the ground as a square of men and women held the edges. They were all pleading for the little girl to jump. A'awynn could see the panic in her eyes and new that nothing said was sinking it. She asked the local ladies what the child's name was. Information in hand, she made her was to as close as she could to the house and looked up at the tiny girl.

"Lacey, honey; you have to jump onto the blanket. Your mommy told me that she wants you to come down from that window, and this is the only down." A'awynn used her most soothing and motherly voice to prod the child into action. She held her arms out, inviting Lacey to come into them by simply jumping. "If you jump really well for A'awynn…" A'awynn patted her chest with her hand, letting Lacey know that she was A'awynn. "…I will give you a special treat." A'awynn noticed that the child desperately gripped a wilted daffodil in her hand, "I will go pick more daffodils with you and we can make a beautiful bouquet of flowers together. Would you like that?"

Lacey shook her head vigorously and crawled up onto the windowsill. In one sweeping motion, she was through the window and bouncing on the blanket. A'awynn grasped the soot-covered child in her arms and clung to her for dear life. Tears washed the soot from A'awynn's face and little Lacey's face as they both allowed the sheer agony of the event to consume them. Lacey trembled in A'awynn's arms; it was at that moment A'awynn made an oath to herself and God that Lacey would never leave her side.

Picking daffodils together became a routine that solidified the relationship and gave mother and daughter quality time together. The orphanage had heard of the tragedy and arranged for A'awynn to become Lacey's mother as officially recognized by the church. Nothing was ever said of the fire that took the lives of her father, mother and older sister. Lacey chose to lock away those horrific memories in her mind. She had only just turned two at the time of the fire, so chances were, that she would never recall them.

A'awynn felt blessed to have been the chosen by God to take care of Lacey. This daughter that He had given her gave more purpose and meaning to her life than all the wealth in the world or any of the acts she could perform as a noblewoman. Her true identity as an aristocrat was under wraps at the orphanage. The sisters knew that she was the widow of the late Lord James Ellison Yancey, a wealthy lord whose money had helped develop and build the orphanage, but they were under strict orders to keep that knowledge to themselves.

Becoming one of the regular, everyday people had been so important to A'awynn. Even Lacey had no idea that she was a Little Lady, literally. A'awynn had told no one in Scotland accept Kaitlyn about Lacey. She wanted them all to be surprised. There were a great many similarities between the two; enough so, that many, who did not know any differently, assumed they were mother and daughter by blood.

It would really cause a stir among the nobles. Everyone knew that James had been dead for over five years and it was obvious that Lacey was barely four. It would certainly cause a bit of a ruckus in the ranks. It would also allow her to find a man worthy of being Lacey's father, a man who was not concerned with propriety, but wanted a family, this family. This man would not see a child born out of wedlock, but a child who was loved unconditionally and without remorse. A'awynn longed for such a man to sweep her off her feet. Wesley had definitely not been him; nor had any of the handfuls of other men A'awynn had courted over the years. Maybe, he did not exist.

"Look mama, I can barely hold them in my hand…there are so many of them!" Lacey's joyous voice lilted over to her and A'awynn was jolted out of her thoughts. The look of pure glee on her daughter's face lit up her world. A'awynn wrapped her arms around Lacey's small waist and merged her fingers together. She swung the small girl around and around until they were both so dizzy, that they softly fell into the bed of daffodils, laughing to their hearts content. This was her family, but how much better it would be to spend it with a special man.

"Lacey, I got a letter today from Kaitlyn in Scotland. Remember, I told you about her and her family?" Lacey nodded that she did remember and A'awynn continued, "She has asked that we return to Scotland and meet her brother Erik. He has been lost to them for almost thirty years."

Lacey crinkled up her nose and looked very concerned, "How can a person be lost for thirty years…did he not know his way home?"

A'awynn cocked her head sideways and smiled at Lacey, "No sweety, he was taken away from them when he was just about your age. A mean man took him and did horrible things to him; things that have left him scarred and hurting all these years."

Lacey bowed her head and seemed shaken from the story that A'awynn had told her. "Does he still hurt?" Lacey's innocent grey eyes were so filled with concern that A'awynn almost cried at the beauty of them.

She choked out her reply, "Yes Lacey, he carries scars on his body that will never go away. He wears a mask over the right side of his face because this mean man burned his face just to make Erik ugly." A'awynn hoped that Lacey understood the gravity of the situation. "We must not stare at him for that would be impolite; instead, let us try and be his friends, alright?"

Lacey smiled and gave A'awynn a priceless hug, "Of course mama, I want to be his friend. I want to be his special friend because I have scars too."

Lacey bounded off, running at top speed through the field of flowers. A'awynn could not help but let the tears fall, the scars on Lacey's back had never disappeared as the doctors had hoped they would. She would carry them for the rest of her life, living reminders to A'awynn of how close she had been to being lost in that fire. Lacey was under the impression that she had been born that way. A'awynn told her no differently.

Lacey had seemed eager to uproot and relocate to Scotland. She was young and resilient, two things that were quickly dissipating from A'awynn. She had seen a lot and lived an interesting life in her twenty-nine years. She was more than ready to take a step back and find the person with whom she could share her life.

June 1 came and A'awynn was once again on the train, this time bound for Scotland with Lacey by her side. The trip would be about 10 hours long with all the stops they had to make, but the time would fly. Lacey chit-chatted for the majority of the time, about this and that and everything. Everyone on the train fell in love with her and could not remember ever seeing a lovelier child. A'awynn glowed with motherly pride and pulled Lacey into her lap. They both took a nap, as the train lulled them on toward what would become the life they both had prayed for but never dreamed would actually become reality.

**Chapter 23 preview – Coming Home.**


	23. Chapter 23

A Place in This World

**Thank you, thank you, thank you! From the bottom of my heart! The reviews mean so much to me and I shall answer the question of the day. "How do you pronounce HER name. A-a-win, A'awynn. It is a spin-off the elf princess in "Lord of the Rings". I thought her name was so pretty, so I changed it a little bit and used that. I hope this helps.**

CHAPTER 23

Erik was so nervous that he almost gave in to the urge to bite his well-groomed nails; he was certain that any given moment, his world would come crashing down around him. As Scotland had become visible from the deck of the ferry, he had fallen in love. The rolling hills and green landscape seemed to beckon him from afar. The white, fluffy clouds danced on the distant mountaintops, while the sun seemed to smile as God bent down and kissed the land. Such beauty was the inspiration for artists from every genre.

Erik had never felt a genuine link with any particular place…but Scotland was different. The ancient trees and age-old hills sung a song to this native son as he returned from a far-away land where he lost himself and sought to become the man he was born to be. Home…now there was something for which to fight and die.

What had he been thinking by coming here? Turning his back on Paris and everything that had happened there was probably the best thing, but attaching himself to this make-believe world of Duke's and castles and, no doubt, fair maidens; was a step Erik was not fully prepared to take.

Although deep in thought, Erik's senses were super keen. He heard the footfalls of a medium-build man, probably 180-190 lbs. The inclination of his steps indicated to Erik that he was coming up on his left side slowly, so as not to create an unwanted sound. The man smelled of grime, old sweat, and too much drink. The rancid smell nauseated Erik's already unsettled stomach.

Erik's sharp eyes noticed a shine on the side of the boat made by the sun reflecting off an object. It had not been there earlier, so Erik surmised that the perpetrator had some sort of weapon. Erik reached in his right pocket and pulled out his pocket watch. The face was glass and Erik held it up in such a way that he could see behind him without looking obvious. The man was not hard to spot. The knife was poised and ready for an attack.

Erik dropped his watch back into his pocket and heard the threatening breaths of the man as he inched closer. There was no one else on this corner of the ferry, so Erik took advantage of the solitude. He straightened his back, emphasizing his height; removed his mask, spread his legs for advantage and whirled around while grabbing the man's outstretched arm. The knife was quickly dispensed with and man trembled at the sight before him.

The Phantom was very much alive and well at that moment. Erik loomed down on the man from a lofty height and bore into his shocked face with dangerous eyes. The tight, terrifying grip on the man's arm did not relent as Erik drug the man's trembling figure toward him.

Erik took full advantage of his unique face, intimidating height and commanding stance to impress on the man his mistake in assuming he could overpower and take advantage of anyone. Erik's words were dripping with disdain and loathing, "You may want to rethink the career choice you are making…" he had a vice hold on the man's arm and his green eyes glared with restrained anger.

By this time, a crowd had gathered and Erik had swept his mask on in a clean, inhumanly fast move of his hand. The policeman came forward and immediately arrested the ruffian, making apologies to Erik, "I am terribly sorry Lord Lauchlan, please forgive our incompetence in this matter…thank you apprehending him."

Erik rapped the man on the back, smiling in good faith as he made light of the event, "Nonsense my good man, how were you to know that he was aboard? … carry on."

Erik watched as the man was escorted from the them, still speechless after seeing Erik's deformity…sometimes, it did come in handy to be hideous. The Phantom always lurked just under the surface, pushing Erik to this limit at times; but his alter ego also presented great freedom for Erik. The Phantom didn't bother with the responsibilities of a Dukedom nor did he care about family or priorities; because he had none. The Phantom was a free spirit with no ties to anyone. **(Well, almost no one) **Erik thought.

The finality and reality of losing Christine was still there, echoing in his hollow heart. He had played it off fairly well, but the reality of not having her in his life was mocking him around every corner and in every strangers face. All things said and done; he knew that what he had done was best for her, and that was all that mattered; but it did not make the pain any easier to bear.

The Phantom would never really be gone, as Erik embraced the power that consumed him in the wake of his doppelganger; but he knew, for the sake of his family, that his escapades as The Phantom would have to come to an end. He had played that part for 24 years; it was time to play a new one; a part he was completely unfamiliar with – Lord Erik Bryant Lauchlan.

Erik headed for the other side of the ferry where they would be docking soon. His eyes searched the hoard of people for his father and Michél. As he spied their familiar faces, he thought about the train trip and the opportunity it had granted to grow closer to this father. They had carried on many conversations over the course of the trip and one of those conversations stuck in Erik's mind…

FLASHBACK (third person)

Lucy and Christine had taught him that he was not capable or worthy of having a woman's love, whether that was their intent or not. He was bad news, as the saying went. Most women either saw his face and preferred death, or they saw his face and chose to live in a fantasy world where his voice, magic and skills of illusion maintained the façade of a relationship; neither or these scenarios was acceptable to Erik.

He would, once again, just admire them from afar and keep his hands off and his voice and magic skills would no longer be an issue, for he resolved never to use them again. It had to work, he would see to that. If his mother truly accepted him, she would be the woman in his life, a life he would devote to her.

Alastair and Erik discussed many things while the train forged its way to Scotland. They had talked about the demands placed on him as the Earl of Berwithshire, and later as the Fourth Duke of Berwithshire. The constraints were many, but none that he could not cope with. All accept one. He was to marry before the year was up and produce an heir within the first two years of marriage! How preposterous! That was it…the line would end with him. How would his father take that news?

Erik smirked at the absurdity of the situation. Him…get married? If only his father knew what women thought and said about him. Marriage was completely out of the question; not because Erik did not desire to marry, he did, like many other men his age…but forcing a woman to bind herself to him in any way made him sick to his stomach. He would just have to make his father understand. He leaned back in his seat, closed his eyes and feigned sleep.

Alastair regarded the relaxed figure of his son, as Erik sat across from him. Erik had folded his hands behind his head, stretched his long, muscular legs out in front of him, closed his eyes and was napping. They had been riding for about 3 hours now, and Alastair had been very much aware of the admiring female glances as they made their way through the cars. He knew they were admiring Erik, but Erik seemed completely oblivious to this. Even when Michél pointed it out, Erik disregarded it, "They are not admiring me, they are gawking at me…there is a difference. They are probably thinking,

'I can't believe he comes out in public like that,' or 'have you ever seen anything so hideous?'"

Erik had kept trudging onward as Alastair and Michél bored holes in his back with their eyes. It was obvious that Erik had no idea how to interpret the body language of women. It was quite evident to the two older men that the women were very, very appreciative of the beauty that Erik possessed. None of them were openly flirting with him; but then, he did sort of give off an "I am completely unobtainable" aura that probably prevented them from approaching him; and on top of that, they knew he was a noble and they were not.

When Erik had expressed his concern over the absurdity of marriage, Alastair had merely smiled and nodded. Erik's mother and sisters would soon see that his self-depreciating thoughts and motives ceased. Erik would have an endless supply of eager female companionship and one of them was sure to catch his eye and heart. Alastair had his preference of course, but the decision was ultimately Erik's.

Alastair jested with Erik, but his tone was serious,"Mark my word son, in less then a years time, you will have met, courted, fallen in love with and married the woman you never thought you could have."

"Falling in love has never been a difficult task for me, father. I have no doubt that my fickle heart will once again deceive me into the act of falling in love…it's being loved back that poses the problem…I'll never know what that feels like." Erik implored. He had turned his head to watch the moving landscape as the train rushed on, his eyes held all the pain that he never seemed to escape. "As the Phantom, I demanded respect and was feared. The women were scared into submission; they did not really see what I looked like, I never allowed them to...they didn't need to. I would sing for them, or play my organ; or I would cook for them and bask in their beauty, hoping beyond hope that it might transfer to me...but I never touched them."

Erik returned his mournful eyes to Alastair, "I treated myself to their company on many occasions…but I have only loved twice…and I have never relieved my sexual desires."Alastair's head lifted inquisitively, Erik knew the question that he wanted to ask and offered the information before the question could be voiced. "I can't even bare to look at my own reflection, let alone touch this grotesque body…I have never relieved my sexual desire...I bury the desire with the strength of my mind."

Erik's full, sensuous lips turned up in a gentle smile; "Madam Giry did not even know about these little escapades. The girls would disappear for hours at a time and have no recollection of where they had been. I would share in their beauty and intelligence; I would entertain them with music and magic, then I would wipe their memory of any association with me so they would not suffer nightmares."

Alastair just stared in awe at the power and influence that Erik was capable of, he had heard of such skills, but had never met one who possessed them; he could not even fathom such control; it was overwhelming.

Erik continued with an appalling revelation, "I have been seriously entertaining the thought of going to the Middle East and having the necessary procedure done to become a eunuch; it would solve a whole range of problems." In truth, he was still considering having it done. The desire would be gone, as well as the ability; what more could a monster ask for?

This last truth shook Alastair to his core. "You will do no such of a thing!" Alastair was almost livid with the idea that Erik would even remotely entertain the idea of becoming a eunuch. "I know you think you're beyond the love of a woman, but I say you are not! I won't have any of my future grandchildren and the heir to my son's title snuffed out by a surgeons' knife before they see the light of day!"

Erik heard the resounding authority in his father's voice. There would be no discussion on this matter, not with him. Erik had never even discussed the issue with Michél; but he would. The brilliance and simplicity of the procedure would seal the stamp of his celibacy and let the women breathe easy; he would never desire them again.

Erik continued to smile as he spoke, dropping guilty eyes to the floor. "I know it was wrong, but I longed for companionship, even if it was manipulated. It worked wonderfully until Christine started growing up into this beautiful swan that literally captivated me…suddenly, no one else would do; she had the voice of an angel; she had the gentle, unassuming intelligence that is so attractive in a woman, and she had the physical beauty to top it all." Alastair saw the love in Erik's face, the way his eyes lit up when he talked about her and the Mona Lisa smile that donned his face. He had hoped that Erik's feelings for Christine were shallow and non-committal, but it was quite evident that they were the real thing.

"Why did you let her go? I can see how much you love her, despite what you said to her and her fiancé." Alastair's question hung in the air.

Erik answered philosophically, "There is a saying that I have heard that makes such perfect sense to me, '**If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, then it never was.'**…I love her so I let her go...I released every possible hold I had over her and let her go."

Tears threatened, but Erik stubbornly refused to let them show. They receded back and watered the pain that clenched his heart. He prayed that Christine had been convinced of his genuine need for her to be away from him. He prayed she was certain he wanted her with Raoul for her own happiness and that Erik was fine with that arrangement. In reality, he wanted to run away, far away from the agony of seeing her every day in the arms of another man.

Erik did want her to be happy; he did find himself reluctantly liking Raoul; but he still felt the swell of betrayal and the bitterness of denial encompass his heart when he thought of the two of them together. But Erik, ever the performer; and one of the best, at that; had convinced everyone, except himself, that he was completely over HER. Hopefully, being hundreds of miles away from her intoxicating presence, he could convince himself of this fact.

Alastair considered what Erik had said and decided that his son possessed strength in areas that many men did not. He put himself last when thinking about Christine; that was rare. Most men were selfish by nature, but Erik seemed to have overcome that shortcoming and it cost him a great deal of pain, another thing that men did not deal well with. His son loved deeply and with everything that he was; Alastair knew what that felt like…it was how he loved.

He leaned in and drew himself close to Erik"I am convinced that you will find what you seek, my son. I will not pressure you to marry, but marry you will; and the woman that captures your heart will love you unconditionally…you and only you. She will give you pleasure beyond your wildest imagination and you will do the same for her."

Erik wanted to believe that what is father said was true, but to believe it would cost Erik a great deal. Alastair knew that Erik still doubted and most likely would, until it happened.

Alastair reflected on his own life, "I was born and raised in the Berwithshire community. I know its people. I have witnessed the growth of the area and the influx of new families. I have been privy to feedback concerning your unfortunate abduction and the results that culminated from it. I have seen the reaction of the people to the picture that MacNera drew of you, the one I showed you."

Erik wrinkled his brow, not understanding what Alastair was saying.

"I had that picture posted on every corner, in every shop all over Scotland. Your mother and I spent years educating the country on the type of horrors that you had gone through."Alastair smiled as he remembered the concern of the people as they shared in his grief, "As the years past, we had the picture aged by the talents of certain artists that specialize in that area. They would take the lines, contours and ridges of your barely four-year-old face and use them to reconstruct what you would look like at different stages of development…but one thing they never changed…your eyes. A person's eyes never change." Erik was fascinated by this concept. How ingenious!"We had them done when you turned 10, 13, 16, 21, 25 and 30; that way, if you ever came back to us, we would know it was you. Your face is no surprise to the population of Scotland, Erik; that includes the women."

Erik thought on the efforts his parents had made on his behalf. He would try his best to see that those efforts had not been in vain, but his confidence in himself as an eligible bachelor was almost non-existent. Only time would tell.

END FLASHBACK

The ferry came to a rest and people hustled about to retrieve their treasures. Michél and Erik gathered the bags as Alastair headed for the exit. They had only packed the necessary items for traveling, as purchases were to be made when they got to Berwithshire.

The three men began to walk the long plank toward the shoreline, when they were greeted my two bowing young men in squire uniforms. The older of the boys was positioned in front of Alastair, and the younger was in front of Erik. The two lads gathered the bags onto a cart and proceeded down the plank to an elaborate carriage at the bottom.

Erik had never been treated with such open respect before. He felt unworthy of the dedication they showed him.

Alastair noticed the uneasy look on Erik's face, and explained, "They are squires from Berwithshire. I wired your mother yesterday and let her know when our ferry was due in. She no doubt sent them to meet us here." They continued walking as Alastair elaborated, "We employ about a hundred servants in all, maybe more. The squires are from an orphanage in Ireland. Once they reach a certain age, I take them in and have them trained to work for the nobility. It gives them purpose and a certain respect that they lose by being orphans."

Erik was impressed, the nobility he had had the misfortune of knowing, turned their noses up at orphans and those in lesser stations. "You taught me that Erik, by being taken from me. I found I developed the need to help children who otherwise would be written off as doomed." Alastair smiled a sad but broad smile, "I felt that if I helped them, I might be helping you." Alastair genuinely grinned this time, "I also bring the young girls in at about 13 and train them to work in the household, thus giving them a skill to take with them through life."

The men reached the carriage and the footmen placed the steps down for them to enter the large apparatus. Erik had never seen such a beautiful carriage. The six horses pulling the thing were the most gorgeous Erik had ever seen. Clydesdale's, that what Alastair had called them. They were snow white with long, beautiful mains and docked tails. The hair at their hooves was long and flowing, making them look like they wore fuzzy boots. The horses were muscular and very large, truly a breed worth admiring.

Once inside the carriage, Erik continued his admiring scrutiny. The intricate detailing on the patchwork inside the hull was exceptional. The coloring was royal blue with black and purple detailing. The family crest was stitched into each seat cover with beautiful artistry. Alastair was overjoyed to see the admiration in Erik's eyes. "This is your personal carriage Erik, I had it designed specifically for you; I always knew you would come back to me. The entire west wing of the castle belongs to you until you marry; then Carwell Estate awaits you. Upon my death, or at a time of my choosing, the entire Berwithshire Estate will be yours and Carwell will go to your heir upon his marriage." Erik just sat there dumbfounded. "You have an array of servants at your beck and call, for any need you might encounter. But you may also feel free to do things for yourself, as I know you are a very independent man."

Erik had never considered that he would have his own personal following. He had no idea how to deal with servants and squires. He barely knew how to carry on a basic conversation with anyone other than Michél.

These doubts were evident as Alastair addressed them, "Don't worry Erik, you will learn how to be Lord Erik Bryant Lauchlan in no time at all…oh, and your squire's name is Cody, I hand-picked him for you."

As thankful as Erik was for that information, he felt certain that he would not bother the boy for anything. He would release him from his service as soon as he could.

Alastair interrupted Erik's thoughts, "Your mother is no doubt planning a big celebration around your return. She loves to entertain." Alastair saw the look of sheer panic that swept across Erik's shocked face, "How do you feel about that?"

The caustic reply was expected, "You know that I am not good with people. Can we avoid this celebration at all costs?"

Erik eyes were pleading for understanding as his request was denied, "Son, as a royal, this is part of the role. You must attend and sometimes, even host, events such as this…you must be introduced to polite society through the normal means…all the eligible females must have the opportunity to spend time with and dance with you. They must have their moment in time to flirt outrageously and gain your interest…" Alastair gave Erik a fatherly nudge and a wink, "…enjoy it!"

"I am afraid that your confidence in my charm and appeal is misplaced, father."Erik stated with a smile despite himself and laughed at the enthusiasm his father was exuding.

Alastair leaned over and clapped Erik playfully on the shoulder, "I don't think so, and you will be eating those words before too long, my boy." Alastair laughed and leaned back in this seat. Erik had the funny feeling that life as he knew it…was over.

**Chapter 24 preview – Family Reunion.**


	24. Chapter 24

A Place in This World

**It is so good to have MastersofNight back after a few chapter of time off. I missed you! Thank you for your kind assessment of Chapter 19. It was rather difficult to write, as I think Erik is a deeply emotional man who has never really dealt with his emotions before. He is unsure of his ability to express himself without disgusting or repulsing anyone; (to Erik) buckle up baby doll and face it; you are gorgous!**

**Pertie – I know, Erik is having a hard time dealing with the loss of Christine, but he is also a very intelligent man. I do not see a man of his strong character pining away for someone he cannot have. He would cut his losses and move on to greener pastures!**

**Ms. Cellaneous – Thank you! I get tired of the bashing. I may not care for Raoul as leading man, but he and Christine are good for each other. Erik deserves much better! I am glad you are liking my story…and here is your update.**

**hunting4max – It is good to have you on board with my story. I hope enjoyed the HER chapter! I am a strong believer in detail. I love a story that paints the picture in my head…I can almost see myself there! Enjoy!**

**And finally, to my faithful reviewers – eriksangelofvoice and OperaLover – I love you peeps!**

**Enjoy.**

One, two, three, testing…

CHAPTER 24

The arrival of the Earl of Berwithshire was an opulent occasion. The staff received new uniforms and the castle received a cleaning, down to the tiniest stone in the floor. The gardens were trimmed and the outside decorations that dotted the landscape were freshly painted. To top off the fairy-tale scene, a red carpet was unfolded that went from the ornate front columns of the castle, down the flowered walkway, and came to rest perfectly at the door of the carriage as it came to a stop.

Erik wore his finest suit of clothes for this occasion. He wore a black suit of pants, finely tailored to his muscular thighs; a black, waist-cut outer suit coat, a black velvet cravat with a burgundy dress shirt, and a burgundy, forest green and black vest. He had no idea of how beautiful he was as he proceeded out of the carriage. He wore no hat, at his father's insistence, "I don't want that beautiful, thick hair of yours crushed to your scalp. Let it flow, waves and all."

As his elegant black booted foot came to rest on the ground of his home, every servant present bowed in unison. His father walked beside him with glowing radiance. Erik's alert, all-consuming eyes scanned the sight before him. The castle was far grander than Erik had pictured in his mind and the gardens were exquisitely kept. A large, elaborate fountain was trickling playfully in the middle of the vast, clear lake that rested to his left; the water was the bluest he had ever seen.

As his tall, lithe, very attractive masculine figure passed by, many of the female servants were just a breath away from swooning. They had long been without a young lord to cater to and admire. They only hoped he wasn't an ogre like so many of the others were. He appeared confident and proud as he passed by them. He acknowledged them with a slight incline of his head; an appreciative smile gracing his handsome face. No, he wasn't an ogre; Ogre's didn't even notice the staff, except to berate them.

Even the older women looked on with admiration in their eyes. Some of them had been with the Lauchlan family since before Erik had been born, and knew him. They all shed tears of joy at having him back. He methodically scanned for his mother, but saw no person that would match the description he had of her.

The walk up to the castle seemed to take an eternity. As they approached the columns in the front of the castle, Erik noticed the people that stood there. Each of them bore resemblance to his father and he knew right away that these were his sisters and their respective families.

As Erik made his way to them, Alastair presented them to him. He stood in front of a middle-aged woman whose only show of her age was a slight silvering at her temples. Her figure was plump and round, a prestige's sign of a noblewoman who had mothered children. She curtsied low with her hand extended. Erik embraced it and placed a light kiss atop it. She rose, and throwing legality to the wind, embraced Erik in a loving hug.

Alastair thought nothing of it as he introduced her. "This is your eldest sister, Lady Brietta McDermott and her husband Baron Clancy McDermott."

The Baron was a medium height, portly man with a kind, handsome face and gray, balding hair. His handshake was firm and strong and his hazel eyes danced with merriment. Erik knew he was going to like this man very much

Baron Clancy offered her bow and outstretched hand, "Lord Erik, it is a pleasure to finely meet the man behind the legends. You are a hero in these parts. I look forward to the telling of your life some day. We must get together."

Erik couldn't help the smile that spread over his face, he nodded his head, "Well, I am not sure about how much of an interesting life I have had, but I won't mind boring you with the details."

Lord Clancy laughed and a friendship bloomed.

Alastair took a moment to talk to Brietta, "Where is Brianna, I do not see her anywhere. I would have thought she would have greeted us at the gate." Alastair joked, but he was concerned.

Brietta smiled a slight, hesitant smile and answered his plea, "She was moving about the castle in a rather rushed manner and slipped on the stairs…" Both Alastair and Erik took sharp breaths, caused Brietta to place a comforting hand on Alastair's arm, "…she's going to be fine. The doctor said she only sprained her ankle, but he won't let her stand at all. We moved her to the garden room and she awaits you there."Both men let out the breath they had been holding and relaxed.

Alastair introduced the four lovely children that come as a result of this union. The three young ladies stood in succession. The oldest was Keira, a beautiful young woman of 22 years. She was accompanied by her fiancé, Lord Maddox Flannigan from Ireland. The next was Lorna, an equally beautiful young woman of 19.

Next, a handsome young man stood before Erik. He could be no more than 16 and a large grin covered his young, expressive face. He was introduced as Lord Torrance McDermott. He openly admired his uncle, a man he had been fascinated with as he grew up.

He could not imagine the unspeakable atrocities that Erik had endured and the images had placed Erik at the status of hero in young Torrance's mind. "It is an honor to finally meet you Uncle Erik; I would very much like to spend some time with you when you are settled in."

Erik was taken back a bit by the earnest show of love the boy hadand inclined his head as he spoke, "I would like that very much Torrance, we will see to that."

Nine-year-old Moira was hesitant to be introduced to the tall, dark man that approached her. He was so powerful looking but at the same time, a sense of gentleness was radiating from him. She gave a shy smile as he turned his eyes to her. She looked into those green orbs and forgot all about her fears. She assessed him in no time at all, as a child does and found him worthy of her affections. She forgot her upbringing and rushed toward him, wrapping her arms around his slender waist. Erik was surprised but he did not show it as he squatted down and wrapped the small girl in his strong arms. She smelled of fresh flowers and powder, all the things a little girl should smell like.

Erik could not help the happy tears that formed in his eyes. His heart melted with each moment that he held the softness that Moira offered him. How sweet she was. He knew in that moment that he had a fondness for children that he never knew he had. How he longed to hold one of his own. He brushed that thought aside and pulled away from the smiling little girl. He wiped the tears from eyes and stood up to his full height, blocking the sun from her eyes.

Moira's sweet voice spoke, "Wow Uncle Erik, you're tall; even taller the grandfather…and you smell good too!" Erik smirked and blew her a kiss. "They said I can't ask you about your mask, so I won't; but it really doesn't matter, I think you're beautiful."

Brietta tried to quiet her nosey child, but Erik gently waved her off. "What do you want to know, little Moira?"

Moira came up to him and he once again squatted down to her level. She placed her little hand upon his masked cheek"Does it hurt?"

Erik shook his head no.

"Does the mask get hot and sticky?"

Erik smiled and nodded yes.

"Do you wear it because you think we won't like you if you don't wear it?"

Erik thought of how observant that question was, then answered, "Yes Moira, I have worn it for the greater part of my life. I allowed it turn me into someone I did not like very much." Erik looked keep into her innocent brown eyes"People tend to judge me because of my ugliness, so I cover it up."

Moira laughed in a very endearing manner and hugged Erik's neck, "Don't be silly Uncle Erik, you're definitely not ugly, just different…and I love you that way!"Erik placed a gentle kiss on Moira's blond head. She waved at him as he moved on.

Alastair was amazed at how well Erik was handling himself. Things were going to be just fine. As Erik approached Kaitlyn, she put her hand to her trembling mouth as the tears filled her eyes and flowed down her beautiful face. She didn't say a word as she watched the handsome figure of her brother move to stand directly in front of her, she wrapped her arms around him and sobbed into his chest. All of her childhood memories of the brother she had pleaded with God to give her, even while he was a mere thought in his parents mind; came flooding back to her as she embraced his strong frame. She had watched him interact with Brietta and her family, and the exchange between him and little Moira was so poignant and beautiful. She held on for dear life as though he would disappear if she let go. She felt safe and sheltered in his embrace and knew that he would be there for her at every opportunity, just as he had promised on that day so long ago…

FLASHBACK (third person)

_Early, one autumn day in October 1842_

Three-year-old Erik was playing hide-and-go-seek with his ten-year-old sister Kaitlyn. He was winning of course, he always did. He was far more intelligent than most ten-year-olds, let alone, three-year-olds and loved playing with his older sister. She always had time for him and played all the fun games, even those games that girls weren't supposed to like. He adored her and she adored him.

He had been hiding from her for what seemed like forever. He could not hear her rustling through the leaves and he began to be concerned. He gave up his hiding spot and called for her, but there was no answer. As tall as a normal six-year-old, Erik moved through the tall grass with ease as he called for Kaitlyn.

His acute hearing allowed him to hear a tiny moan just a few feet to his right. He raced over to the area that corresponded to the sound and found his sister sprawled out on the ground. She had apparently tripped over a hidden tree root and had bumped her head on a sharp rock as she fell to the ground. She had been knocked unconscious for a spell and was just coming to when Erik heard her low moan.

He wrapped his arms around her and gently moved her to lean against the tall oak tree that stood just eight feet away. "Kaitlyn, can you hear me?"She focused her hazy eyes on the handsomeness of her brother's young face. He looked so concerned for her. "I am going to go get father, he can carry you home, I can't do it, you're too heavy for me."Erik chastised himself for being so weak.

Kaitlyn's pleading hand rested on Erik's arm, "Don't leave me Erik, I won't be able to bear it." She was crying and the amount of blood coming from her head had Erik in a slight panic.

"I have to go Kaitlyn, the garden is just a few hundred feet away, I won't be long." He didn't wait for a response as he raced toward the castle and found his father in the gardens, exactly where he knew he would be.

When they got back to Kaitlyn, she was woozy to her stomach and began retching from the nausea that seized her. Erik held her hand as Alastair quickly carried her to the castle. He placed her on the settee in the sitting room and sent his assistant for the doctor. Erik sat beside her and gently wiped the matted hair from her face.

The head maid came in with a warm cloth and began to wipe her brow. Erik requested the cloth from the woman and took over. He tenderly removed the blood and dirt that had settled on her face and was rewarded by her eyes flickering open and a smile she gave only to him.

Erik was crying and Kaitlyn lifted her weary hand to his as he assured her brokenly, "I'm sorry Kaitlyn, I should have found you sooner and you would not have suffered so much. I am sorry that I had to leave you to find father…I will never leave you again…I will always be there for you." Erik meant every word that he spoke. Kaitlyn was his best friend as well as being his sister and he never wanted anything to happen to her.

END FLASHBACK

Still reveling in Erik's intoxicating embrace, Kaitlyn ended her thoughts. She had suffered a concussion that day. A few short months later would cause a rip in her soul that would remain a part of her until this very moment. Erik had left her and her life was never the same.

Her trembling shoulders and flowing tears were almost more than Erik could stand. He knew this was Kaitlyn, she was just as he had pictured her. He gently pried her from his chest and lifted her chin so that her green eyes stared into his green eyes…a perfect match.

He placed a gentle kiss to her forehead as he spoke, "Kaitlyn, I only know that our bond is very strong, but I do not remember all the reasons why. Forgive me."

"Don't fret my Erik, I have all the memories locked away in my heart, I will share them and we can make new ones!" Kaitlyn promised, as she placed her soft hand to Erik's smooth, perfect cheek"Life begins this day." She cooed as she smiled through her tears; the sweetest, love-filled smile that Erik had ever seen…and the wall around his heart lost even more layers.

Alastair nudged him forward, he knew that Brianna was waiting. A small-framed, blond-haired woman curtsied as he came to her.

Alastair made the introductions, "This is your sister Lady Erin Marrow and her husband Arthur Marrow."

Arthur bowed low to Erik and raised himself up to his full 5'10" height. Still looking up into Erik's amused green eyes, Arthur smirked. "Lord Erik, it is indeed my pleasure to meet you. Erin has told me all about you, at least what she can remember about you…it will be an honor to get to know you."

Erik dipped his head in agreement and accepted a hug from Erin. She simply whispered in his ear, "I missed you brother. I am glad your journey brought you back to us."

Erik pulled out of her embrace and smiled as he spoke, "It is good to be back. Even though my memories of this place are sparse, my heart remembers it."

The children were standing patiently, as their turn came about. The firstborn was a proud looking 16-year-old boy, with the look of youth still very visible on his handsome face. Colin Marrow bowed as his famous uncle approached him. Colin was a little awestruck, as Erik was a very famous, very high-ranking nobleman and Colin was neither of those things. Erik smiled down at the lad and shook his young hand. There was definite strength there.

Erik recognized this and addressed the boy, "Nice to meet you Colin, I look forward to hearing about your studies and what you plan to do in the future…you appear to be a very intelligent young man." Colin glowed with pride, for his studies were his pride and joy. How did Uncle Erik know this?

Alastair was once again struck by the astute way that Erik sized up everyone he meant. He seemed to have an uncanny ability to deduce what was dearest to them and put them right at ease. **(What a leader he will be; an example to all who look to him.)**

Alastair introduced the next boy. "Your nephew, Master Kurt Marrow."

At 11, Kurt was taller than his 16-year-old brother was and much stronger built. Erik could see the soldier just waiting to burst through. The boy possessed great strength and would make a very formidable opponent.

Erik noticed this, and stated pragmatically, "That is quite a handshake you have Kurt, I will have to remember not to get into an arm wrestling match with you…I may end up on the floor!"

Kurt, who had not been certain about this uncle he had never meant, assessed the man before him. Tall, regal, strong and very intelligent; those are words that popped into his mind as he regarded Erik. Kurt grinned at the compliment to his strength. He was planning on becoming an officer in the royal army and serving his country. It was all he could ever remember wanting to do.

A tiny poppit of a girl shyly peered out from behind her mother's skirts. Four-year-old Gwynne was sucking her thumb and clinging for dear life to a beautiful, porcelain doll. Erik went to her and knelt down; placing his knees on the ground, something a man of his rank never did, but then; Erik was no ordinary nobleman.

Erik spoke to her in that beautiful tone that captivated everyone, "Can I have some of that?" Erik asked, pointing to her thumb. "I'll wager that it tastes much better than that food I had on the train…I haven't eaten anything all day."

Gwynne sidled up to Erik with a slight smile curving her lips, showing her thumb still wedged in her teeth. She gingerly approached his smiling face and reached a shy hand up to stroke his mask. Her eyes had a curious glint, but no disgust. Erik held his breath as she gently stoked the surface. She didn't seem confused or scared, just curious.

Finding him to be unassuming, Gwynne pulled her thumb from her mouth with a loud "smack" and offered it to Erik. He took her small hand in his and placed a tender kiss on the tip of her soaked thumb. He grinned at her, thanking her for the sugar. She smiled up at him as he towered over her once again. She lifted her arms, indicating for him to pick her up.

Erik lifted a panic-stricken face to Erin, seeking guidance. She just smiled at him and shook her head. Erik carefully placed his hands on the girl's tiny waist and lifted her the full way up into his long, strong arms. She giggled with glee at the advantage she had of looking down at everyone she saw. Erik was in awe at the sheer joy of holding this child nestled in his arms. A simple pleasure, but one he had never thought to experience. He placed a gentle kiss upon her cheek and returned her to her mother's arms. He reluctantly moved on, his eyes still taking in the angelic figure of little Gwynne.

An exact replica of Erin stood before him with a small, delicate package wrapped in her arms. Eden looked up at Erik with tears in her eyes. He was everything she had prayed he would be…and more.

She reached up with one arm and pulled him into an embrace. Little Deirdre stirred slightly in her arms, but did not wake as her mother spoke in a whisper, "I missed you so much Erik; not only you, but your music and art…I look forward to hearing and seeing it again." Eden let him go and wiped the tears from her eyes.

She pulled back the blanket from Deirdre's sleeping form, allowing Erik to see the face of his littlest niece. The sight before him took his breath away. He had not seen a baby since Madam Giry had allowed him to see Meg, all those years ago. He was in awe at the beautiful, intricate details in her small face. The tiny hands with long fingers that wrapped around his long, elegant finger as he gently stroked her soft skin. The grin was permanently attached to his face now, and he knew he was a lost cause.

A tall, red-haired, broad-shouldered, barrel-chested, hairy man stood beside Eden. He held out his huge hand as Erik turned his gaze to him. Not waiting for Alastair to introduce him, he vigorously shook Erik's hand and clapped him on the shoulder. The clap stung a little, but Erik was too entranced to care. This man was a mountain.

Making his own introduction, Angus roared, "Lord Angus O'Bannon, at your service my lord. I am looking forward to getting to know you. Your bravery and intelligence are admirable and I will enjoy bartering with you."

Angus once again clapped Erik on the shoulder…that shoulder would never be the same. He immediately liked Lord Angus; he was unlike anyone Erik had ever encountered before.

Young Lord Donnelly was the spitting image of his father, except in a smaller version. At 12, he was barely entering puberty, but his heart seemed as big as his father was. Erik reached out his hand for a shake and was impressed with the lad's strength.

"It is a pleasure to meet you young Donnelly. You are as foreboding of a presence as your father, you will have great success in life." Erik said with a grin, and watched as his rigid back gave away a little.

The last of the children was a seven-year-old; red, curly haired, freckle-faced girl that immediately won Erik's heart.

Lady Dana O'Bannon curtsied at her famous uncle and spoke in a very articulate Irish accent. "What a pleasure to meet you Lord Erik. I have heard so much about you." Her dancing green eyes meant Erik's dancing green eyes and an immediate friendship was forged.

Erik kissed her small hand as she extended from her curtsied form. "The pleasure is all mine, Lady Dana. You are a vision in your yellow dress…thank you for allowing me to see you in it."

Dana smiled a toothless smile and bubbled over with the compliment on her dress. "I can see that you are man with great taste."

At those words, Erik laughed; a hearty, full, angelic sound that enthralled everyone who heard him. "What a delightful child you are."

Dana giggled back at him, loving the sound of his voice; it was soothing and tranquil, just like grandmothers.

All sisters and family member accounted for; Erik made his way up the stairs and into the grand hallway of Berwithshire Manor. His eyes searched for the one person that he had waited the greater part of a lifetime to get to know…his mother

**Chapter 25 preview – Mother knows best**


	25. Chapter 25

A Place in This World

**It is so good to have MastersofNight back after a few chapter of time off. I missed you! Thank you for your kind assessment of Chapter 19. It was rather difficult to write, as I think Erik is a deeply emotional man who has never really dealt with his emotions before. He is unsure of his ability to express himself without disgusting or repulsing anyone; (to Erik) buckle up baby doll and face it; you are gorgous!**

**Pertie – I know, Erik is having a hard time dealing with the loss of Christine, but he is also a very intelligent man. I do not see a man of his strong character pining away for someone he cannot have. He would cut his losses and move on to greener pastures!**

**Ms. Cellaneous – Thank you! I get tired of the bashing. I may not care for Raoul as leading man, but he and Christine are good for each other. Erik deserves much better! I am glad you are liking my story…and here is your update.**

**hunting4max – It is good to have you on board with my story. I hope enjoyed the HER chapter! I am a strong believer in detail. I love a story that paints the picture in my head…I can almost see myself there! Enjoy!**

**And finally, to my faithful reviewers – eriksangelofvoice and OperaLover – I love you peeps!**

**Enjoy.**

One, two, three, testing…

CHAPTER 25

Brianna's heart knew the minute Erik set foot on Berwithshire. She could not help the leap her heart made at the prospect of seeing his face and holding him to her. Her arms had yearned for him to fill their emptiness, and with each passing year of unrelenting, haunting barrenness, Brianna had faded from the life that reminded her of him.

Unwilling to stop them, the tears snuck out of the sides of her beautiful green eyes and left tiny, wet trails down her ageless face. She propped herself further up on the soft pillows that supported her back and waited…waited for a portion of her heart to returned to her.

She busied herself with thoughts of the upcoming gala in Erik's behalf. Two weeks, not even, and she would be entertaining again. She had missed it, but as time went by and Erik had not come back, her desire to be around others had dissipated. She realized now, how much she had missed it. As Erik's imminent return grew nearer, her soul returned to her.

The voice; that was all she needed to hear to know that he was just a few short feet away from the garden room. She heard the distinct sound of footfalls as the long-awaited party of people came her way, and her heart sped up in anticipation. His voice resonated through her resting heart, bringing its sleeping melody back to life. What a beautiful pitch and tone he possessed; she could just hear the melodious expertise in its reverberation.

She was so lost in the intoxication of his voice, that she forgot her knitting. She hurriedly stuffed it back in the basket and shifted on the settee to have a better view of the door as he entered.

Before her starving eyes, her long lost son appeared in the door. For one brief moment, he stood still, as thought contemplating his next move. She could bear the joyous strains of her heart no longer and wept the tears of joy that had so long been barricaded behind the bitterness of wasted years; she placed her hands in prayerful stance and thanked the God she had all but abandoned for bringing him back to her.

His mother; this beautiful, weeping, praying woman was his mother. At that moment, Erik could have dropped dead and he would have died a happy man. The evidence of her love for him reflected in her eyes, which were the exact green of his. Her tears melted his chilled heart, each drop rendering him more and more human. The aristocratic charade collapsed and Erik was a four-year-old boy again as he wept longingly with each step that he took toward her.

He fell to his knees in front of her and bowed his head in submission; his shoulders shook with the intensity of his tears. Brianna pulled him to her breast, resting his dark head on the curve of her bosom; her long, musicians fingers swept tenderly through Erik's loose curls and his eyes closed while tears silently trailed down his cheeks.

Brianna rested her trembling chin atop his head as she caressed him as if he were four and she was comforting him after a scraped knee or; as was the case with Erik, a wrong note played in an otherwise flawless performance. The smile that graced her mouth held promises that she had long since given up on.

His tempestuous voice penetrated her steel encased heart.

He spoke tenderly with his thick lashes still covering his eyes, "I have waited the greater part of my lifetime to find the woman whose eyes soothed me after my horrific nightmares and spoke to me in the deep recesses of my fevered mind, soothing me on the many occasions that I was ill and without a caregiver." He paused to wipe tears from his face, "It was that same set of eyes that pleaded with the grip of deep depression as its tentacles pulled me under the sea of lost souls and almost claimed my life on five different occasions."

Erik's bright, tear enhanced eyes looked into hers, "It was you,…all along…you…never…left…me." Each word was a sharp staccato, as if he could not believe the story they told. "I just didn't know it was you." Erik shook his head in disbelief, "You found me…thousands of miles away…in Turkey...as I sank into a drug induced coma that I never intended to live through." Erik was consumed by the reality that could have been if he had succeeded in ending his life - and the tears fell harder.

"You found me…three years later…in Persia…when I loathed myself so much that I took a lethal dose of cyanide; my heart stopped beating, but you drew me back in and Michél remembers an eerie set of eyes pleading with him to seek me out…and he got me the help I needed…but didn't want." Erik drew up from her heart and grabbed her eyes with his consuming gaze, "I attempted suicide three more times throughout the course of 10 years, and each time…you found me by prodding Michél to find me."

Brianna crumbled at the numerous times her darling son had almost ended his life; but God had intervened. Again, she lifted a silent prayer toward heaven. Her longing hand reached up and caressed Erik's perfect cheek, her eyes rested on his mask and Erik's face fell. His heart burned with fear as she examined it with searching eyes. She placed her fingers at the edge of the mask and waited…waited for his surrender.

"You dread showing me…" her pleading eyes caressed his agonized ones. Her melodious, comforting voice assured him of her love, "…you have no reason to dread this."

Erik pulled his eyes shut, not wanting her to see the fear that dwelt in their depths. "I…fear the rejection that will cause your loving eyes to turn to disgust and revulsion at the sight of me…I cannot bear it…not again."

With the tormented words he expressed, Brianna knew that she must put these self-loathing habits of Erik's away. She gently removed the mask and placed it on the settee next to her.

Her soft, gentle, docile hand reached for his marred cheek and caressed it with such tenderness that Erik shivered at the intensity of the sensation. He chanced opening his eyes and was relieved at the sight before him.

Brianna smiled with such genuine adoration that Erik thought she might be looking at someone other than him. "You are my very breath, Erik; my every heartbeat…to reject you would be to cut off my air supply."

She continued to caress his cheek, exploring its contour and textures with the tips of her fingers"Do you know what I see when I look at your scars? I see the pages of a story unfolding in front of me. They tell the adventures of the warrior as he trudges through terror and torture to reach his home. He has times of aching sorrow and times of immeasurable joy…but each step of his journey produces scars…scars that tell his anecdote."

Erik had lost all concept of time as he joyously accepted his mothers love. Time stood still and he was once again taken back in time to reflect on his deep, abiding love for his mother. She had been his confidant, his protector, his advisor and his friend; but most of all…she had been his advocate; always on his side ready to do battle for him.

He suddenly remembered the eager eyes and eavesdropping ears that stood not far off, listening and observing as this moment in time unfolded. Brianna felt his strong arms enfold her and lift her entire body; he carried her through the open French doors leading onto the long, flowing portico. She could not take her eyes off his elegant, handsome face as she drank in the details that she had memorized all those years ago.

She saw the familiar jaw line, proud and princely. She recognized the gentle slope of his cheekbone and the straight, perfect line of his nose; the long, dark lashes that shadowed deep-set, molten green eyes. She traced her motherly hand along his strong shoulders and straight, broad back. As he turned his entire face to her, she focused on the attribute that had won her heart to Alastair…his full, kissable, passionate, sensuous lips; Erik's mouth was everything Alastair's was, and Brianna smiled happily.

She rested her regal head on his lapel as he carried her onto the portico and sat on the long intricate swing, gently placing her in his lap. He held her as if holding a rare treasure, and slowly began to move the swing. She wrapped her aching arms around his neck and held him to her, listening to the gentle, steady heartbeat that assured her he was indeed flesh and blood, and not just a figment of her overactive imagination.

Mother and son did not need to say a word as they rocked the years away with every movement of the swing. Finally, Brianna lifted her head from Erik's shoulder and gently turned his unmasked face to her with a gentle tug on his chin. His eyes regarded her with a curious glint.

Brianna's voice was barely a whisper as she caressed him with her words. "When I first felt the flutter of your life within my womb, I cherished you. I wanted a son more than anything this world had to offer me…and with the knowledge of your conception, I knew God had granted me my desire." Brianna's smile was effervescent, as she adored him with her eyes. "I was not in the least bit surprised when you were born; a son to fulfill our dreams. I held you to my breast and memorized every tiny detail of your perfect face…you seldom cried, except when you wanted attention. I could spend hours just watching you play and grow more and more handsome and intelligent with each passing moment."

Brianna lifted up and placed a gentle kiss to his rugged cheek, rubbing her cheek to his as she pulled away. "At three, you were a genius; far and above most ten-year-olds in your studies and artistic abilities. I was in awe of you; I envisioned you becoming not only a great Duke for Scotland, but also an entrepreneur in the field of art and music."

Her arms tightened around his chest as she nuzzled into him, clinging to him for dear life. "I died inside when that monster took you from me." The hate in her voice surprised her; after 29 years, she thought she could have let it go. "When your father found him and dragged his worthless carcass before the House of Lords, I wanted to drive a knife through his rotting heart."

Brianna sobbed at the flood of pain that once again washed over her. She caressed Erik's neck with her fingers, relishing in the softness of his long, wavy hair; it felt just as soft as the first time she held him in her arms and stroked his tiny head, awestruck by his beauty. "I sought the cruelest form of retribution, and your father saw to my wishes…but MacNera's plan to take you away from me was still painfully obvious every time I went to gather you in my arms and you weren't there."

Her sobs grew deeper and agonizing as she pulled him closer to her. "I am so sorry my love; so sorry that I was not there to shield you from the torture that he put you through; I am so sorry that your childhood was taken from you as bitterly and angrily as you were taken from me." Her words were barely audible through the wails that came from her throat. Erik was gently caressing her back with his strong hand and swinging tenderly back and forth. She lifted her hands and tentatively caressed his cheeks. Her words were spoken through gentle gasps, "You are as strikingly handsome now as you were when you were almost four and people gawked at your beauty. The mask only adds to your personality…I love you Erik…"

Brianna moved out of his lap and sat beside him. Moving across the seat to give more room, she patted her lap and beckoned Erik to rest his head there. After several moments of hesitation, Erik finally yielded to her request; allowing the scarred side of his face to be exposed to her full view as he gently rested his head in her lap and longingly closed his eyes as she smoothed his long, wavy hair with her motherly caress.

Erik had never felt anything so exquisite in all his life. The swing slowly swayed in the gentle breeze while mother and son conversed in silence.

"You seem to be worried about the inconsequential attributes that matter not." Her words interrupted the silence, but the soothing tone of her voice lulled him into a dreamlike state.

She moved her feather light touch to his ravaged cheek and cradled it in her palm, calming with her voice, "Wear your scars with pride Erik. You survived a horrific experience. An experience that would have caused a grown man to wither away and die…but you…you bore yourself through it with incredible strength and fortitude; becoming a force to be reckoned with and compelling a world, the only world you knew, to bend to your will."

Brianna leaned over slightly to view Erik's peaceful visage. The tears that she shed were falling from her face and onto his; cleansing his darkness with her light. She memorized every detail of his scars, knowing that he was so much more than she had ever imagined he would be. The strength and power that were contained within his body were intermingled with incredible gentility and tenderness; Brianna marveled at the man her small son had become.

Alastair looked on as Erik basked in his mothers affections. Tears filled his eyes when he thought of all the lost years; years spent endlessly searching for their missing son; years spent reliving the night in morbid fascination, wondering if they could have done anything differently. The weariness of those years settled on Alastair with final annotations. He was not getting any younger and in the time he had left, he would make sure that Erik's life consisted of all that it was meant to consist of; including undying love.

"I am so full of joy because of Erik's return…it is like a part of me was not healthy; not functioning correctly; and he returned and all is well." Kaitlyn stated, as she reflected on the serene picture that Erik and her mother painted. "Mother will sing and laugh again and Erik will complete this family and be its future, like he was born to be."Kaitlyn took her fathers arm and they walked through the French doors toward the garden, on the opposite side from Erik and Brianna.

It was late May and the gardens were in bloom. Butterflies flitted about and the birds sang a symphony of different pitches and tones. The mosaic tapestry of different trees displayed an array of colors. Crape myrtles bloomed, dogwood trees, cherry blossom trees, crabapple trees and a list of many others; creating a wonderland that literally jumped off the page of a child's book and landed on this spot in Scotland. The lake was fed by a babbling brook that wandered off the side of a mountain by means of a majestic waterfall. Ferns and frolicking ivy, as well as flowers in every color imaginable added to the picturesque beauty of the waterfall.

Erik had never seen anything so beautiful. He had sat up, and was surveying the acres and acres of rolling hills and painted mountains that spotted the countryside. He closed his eyes and breathed in the fresh, crisp air. With each breath, the dank, dreary feeling that had settled in his loins dissipated and was replaced by a newly found respect for nature. Erik had never had much of an opportunity to relax in the sunlight and enjoy the everyday activities of normal people. He never even considered that there was a place where he would be allowed to do so.

The warmth of the sun settled on his upturned face and the caress of the wind made him smile; a beautiful, languid smile that his mother was certain he did not wear often. Brianna sat in awe as she observed the serene moment that unfolded before her. It was almost as if Erik was feeling the cool, spring breeze and the warm, embracing sun for the first time in his life. She dare not say a word, as it would surely spoil the moment.

Erik's melodious, heavenly voice broke the silence"I have never known such peace…I never want to leave this spot; this corner of heaven. I will live the rest of my life in Scotland…I will defend her if need be, and, when it is my time…I will die here."

Erik had never understood why men fought and died for a country. He had never felt the winds of patriotism whirl around him and make his heart soar with the need to defend, at all costs, the rights and privileges he had, for he had no allegiances to any one or any place; he had never had a homeland…until now. He understood perfectly the need to defend and protect this soil and the blood that had been shed to make it free.

Brianna sat entranced by the sound of his voice. She knew that she had a wonderfully trained, singing voice that many considered very lovely. She had spent hours singing arpeggios and scales, molding her voice into a gift that made others envious. Erik's voice…it was another thing altogether. The sensuous, all-consuming timbre of it made her become one with each distinctive tone; she would never tire of its resounding beauty.

Erik turned to see Alastair and Kaitlyn winding around the path that meandered through the gardens. The gazebo was a favorite of Kaitlyn's, Erik could remember that much. He stooped down and once again lifted his mother's feather-light frame into his strong arms and headed toward the gazebo.

"Really Erik, I could walk you know; I'm only injured not an invalid!" Brianna's jesting tone made Erik laugh, causing a swell of motherly joy to rise in Brianna's heart.

"Nonsense mother, my arms have been devoid of your presence for too long, they would simply drop off if I did not carry you!" Erik answered in an equally jovial tone.

The short jaunt to the gazebo did not even cause a rise in Erik's breathing, as he was in magnificent shape. He found though, that the temperature was such that he felt very warm and decided it would be best to remove his vest, cravat, and coat. He deposited his mother on the bench in the gazebo as Alastair and Kaitlyn approached. He proceeded to remove the offensive outer clothing and roll up his long sleeves. As a last minute thought, he unbuttoned the first three buttons on his shirt and sighed with satisfaction; now, he was ready to take on the world; and what a magnificent sight he was!

By this time, his other sisters and their families had slowly filled the gardens; the smaller children were laughing and playing many different childish games, none of which Erik was familiar with. He had never played games as a child. He would just have to take it upon himself to learn them now, at the age of 33. **(What a sight that would be…well, no time like the present!)** Erik proceeded to barge in on the games his nieces and nephews were playing and they joyously let him join. Not very many of the "growd-ups" played with them and they loved the fact that he was willing.

Brianna and Alastair looked on with joy and pride as the dream they had long thought dead came to life in front of their starving eyes. They shed tears of joy that had long since dried to ashes; and now, were watered by the hope Erik brought back into their lives. Their family was once again whole and happy; laughing grandchildren; grinning daughters and sons-in-law – and Erik, the center of it all. Life was good.

**Chapter 26 preview – I see you but you can't see me.**


	26. Chapter 26 UPDATE

A Place in This World

**Thank you my lovlies! I enjoy reading your reviews, they make me better at what I do! Welcome to "A Place in This World" angelaura76, it is good to have you reading…hope to hear much from you in the future.**

_**Thanks to my faithful followers…**_

_**Pertie**_

_**eriksangelofvoice**_

_**OperaLover**_

_**You keep me inspired and hungry for more…**_

**To those who follow my story on a less frequent schedule…**

**MastersofNight**

**Ms Cellaneous**

**hunting4max**

**miffster**

**Mominator124**

**Cinafran**

**DarkSecretLove**

**You make me want to be better…**

**Enjoy.**

CHAPTER 26

There were moments, many moments over the course of the next two weeks that Erik felt completely out of his realm. The business side of being an aristocrat came easily for him. He was adept at every complex mathematical equation and he was proficient in science and all its subsidiaries.

History was of extreme interest to him, the books he read helped him escape the cruelties triggered at him and concentrate on the cruelties of another age; an age that did not hold personal tragedies.

As for languages, Erik spoke four different languages fluently, and was studying several others; French, English, Italian and Russian were all spoken with ease and clarity; he was currently studying Japanese, Spanish and German and would soon master them as well; and he also possessed a deep knowledge of Latin, although the language was not spoken anymore.

Most other parts of being an aristocrat threw Erik, and all his hard-earned knowledge, into turmoil. His mother insisted on having him fitted for every suit of clothing imaginable. Erik had always taken pride in his apparel; if he dressed nice and wore expensive clothes, maybe people would not notice his ugliness.

A week after his arrival, Erik found himself standing in the middle of the Tailor Shop being fitted for, he couldn't even remember how many, suits of clothing. It would not have been so bad if Erik did not have to be there…but that was, unfortunately, a prerequisite. This mind numbing, completely boring process required a lot of standing still and being fussed over; Erik despised being fussed over!

This particular fitting was being heralded as the most important one of all! The ball was coming up in a week and Erik had to look his best! Erik laughed to himself about the idiocy of this entire charade. For the past week he had been told over and over again how handsome he was and how lucky some woman will be to win his heart; but deep in his soul Erik knew that just putting a coat of fresh paint over a filthy wall did not make the wall clean, it merely covered the filth.

Erik tolerated the attention and even made light conversation, but he was not happy. His sisters and mother discussed his chest size, his inseam, his arm length, his neck size, his waist size, what colors went best with his eyes and the width of his shoulders; Erik was completely mortified. No woman had ever been privy to any of his personal measurements, none had ever wanted to be (or so he thought); now, he had five of them discussing these attributes in public where heaven knows who could hear every juicy detail!

His father had, inexplicably, remembered an important matter that he needed to tend to and was unable to join them for this joyous occasion. Erik smirked at the realization that Alastair had just not wanted to come – and that was that. Erik made a mental note to be sure and exercise that male privilege when it came time to pick up these items.

Erik's hair had grown fashionably long, and now came to rest just below the collar on his shirt. It was impossibly thick and wavy; making Erik look younger than he had ever looked. The days of touring the gardens and riding his stallion had bronzed his skin to a golden hue; he was a very tantalizing man…very tantalizing indeed…a fact of which the women of Scotland were very much aware, but a fact about which Erik had no idea.

As Erik thought of all the wonderful possibilities that would prevent him from ever having to endure this mind-numbing experience again, the women continued to fuss over him, noting every detail of his appearance with continuous gibberish and endless chatter. Erik battled a riveting headache, but smiled as if he had no worries at all.

The early spring morning before the ball found Erik far, far, away from Berwithshire. He had gotten up with the chickens, dressed in his riding clothes and escaped the life of Lord Erik by galloping full speed toward the hills on Nucis Rex (Latin for King of the Night). Alastair had insisted that Erik pick out a personal steed. The stallions in the Berwithshire stock were magnificent; beautiful black, brown and white horses that pranced about proudly, displaying their grace and elegance before him.

Nucis was a proud, black, mammoth of a stallion with a feral glint in his eye. He snorted and stomped his hooves as Erik stealthily approached him. The soft, lulling tone of Erik's voice calmed the stallion into allowing Erik to caress his strong neck and rub his gloved hand along the horse's shanks and back. Erik knew at that moment that this glorious creature was his. He worked for days molding the wild beauty that Nucis possessed and training the horse to accept his weight. Erik loathed saddles and rode bare back, teaching Nucis the commands of his body. Using no bridle, Erik trained Nucis to recognize the mere pressure of his legs as indication of direction and speed.

Freedom; pure, unadulterated, and sacred - that was the only way Erik could describe the feeling of being atop Nucis while the stallion took him into the hills. Erik was completely oblivious to anything around him accept the feel of the wind in his hair and the brush of the sun on his uplifted face. He wore a simple white shirt, unbuttoned half way; black riding pants and black riding boots that reached to his knees. Lord Erik was taking a break and The Phantom had all but disappeared; in this moment, he was just a man, at one with the hills and every blade of grass.

The landscape was grand and majestic; the most indubitable evidence that God existed. Erik had never felt His presence as much as he did now, peering appreciatively over the rolling hills, distant mountains, grandiose lake and babbling brook from the lofty height of Nucis' back. Erik was only about three miles away from the castle, but it felt like a whole new world to him; away from prying eyes and ever-listening ears, and gossiping tongues.

He had discovered that his love of solitude and quiet was inherited from his father. Alastair would sneak off on many occasions and read in the vast library or recline in the garden. However, his love of riding came from Brianna; they had ridden together on several occasions, but she understood his need to be alone. Of course, she had to remind herself that he had gotten along for almost 30 years without her and had not suffered a trampling yet, but she so wanted to tell him to be careful; that horse he had chosen was beautiful but dangerous. Erik agreed; that is why he had chosen him.

Coming to the edge of the large brook, Erik dismounted and knelt by the water. He saw his reflection in the clear, running water. He tentatively placed his hands in the coolness of the water and was rewarded with an immediate refreshing sensation. The water beneath the opera house had never been this exhilarating! He dabbed the coolness onto his glistening chest and ran his fingers through his thick hair, giving it a wet look that added two shades of black to his mane; he was a magnificent sight to behold!

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Of all the dad blamed things…I have never, in all my life, been as angry at an inanimate object as I am at that carriage wheel at this very moment!" A'awynn's exasperated words echoed off the hills.

A'awynn had opted to forego the footman and driver and see herself the rest of the way to Berwithshire. She was an excellent driver and was certain she could go the last seven miles on her own. She had loaded up her and Lacey's belongings and, with a sweep of her simple dress, had taken the reigns and begun the journey. Not being one to revel in luxury or demand servants, A'awynn enjoyed her independence.

However, at this very moment she was not enjoying being independent at all; in fact, she was rather annoyed at her independent streak. She glared at the broken wagon and contemplated unfastening the horses and riding the rest of the way; but A'awynn was not the best rider there was and Lacey was scared of horses; and, if A'awynn was completely honest with herself, so was she. So, she pulled up the hem on her dress and set off afoot, with Lacey in tow.

She pulled her "seeing eye", a gift from the children, out of her bag and scanned the landscape for Berwithshire or help, whichever was closer. She saw nothing but open land and big skies. She took one more, last, fleeting look. She watched as a figure came into focus. When she could clearly make it out; what she saw took her breath away.

A horse, a magnificent black horse had just come over the top of a distant hill. The animal was huge; huge and glorious! A'awynn was a lover of horses, even though she did not ride very well. She new that this superb stallion was a top specimen…but it was what was riding the stallion that make her mouth water...

A man…no, a god was riding bareback on the stallion. He was the most strikingly alluring man she had ever beheld; and that was saying a great deal. A'awynn had been blessed to have many suitors throughout the course of her years. Many were considered the most eligible bachelors in their respective towns, providences, states or country. She could have had her pick of any one of them; but A'awynn was not lured by pretty-boy, polished good-looks, or fancy words laced with lust. She had had her fill of soft-handed, weak-willed men whose only skills were their ability to spend "daddy's" money and talk about politics or the weather. Her time with them had been best spent devising ways to be rid of them.

A'awynn greedily watched the man ride masterfully toward the brook. All she could see was the left profile of this face **(He is breathtaking…rugged and chiseled)**. She had never seen a more skilled horseman. Few ventured to ride bareback, and even fewer succeeded; but his man…he was an expert.

Her adoring eyes took in his tall, lithe figure as he dismounted. He was lean and hard with muscular, athletic legs defined by his black riding pants; he walked with such prowling grace, that A'awynn could do nothing but gape at him in awe. He reminded her of a 9-point buck, proudly surveying his territory from atop a hill, with a stance that indicated power and prestige and calm alertness. This man had all of that…and so much more.

He knelt by the brook and playfully ran his hands in the cool water. A'awynn audibly sighed as he ran his wet hands over his chest; which A'awynn was sure would be as awe-inspiring as the rest of him, and then proceeded to wet his wavy, raven hair. She was completely entranced. Lacey sat down on the ground next to her, busying herself with a caterpillar.

"What do you see Mama? Are we close to where we are supposed to be?" Lacey's questions broke the spell and A'awynn lowered the looking glass.

They'd had to abandon the carriage, leaving the majority of their luggage unattended. A'awynn just prayed that no thieves were about and the items would still be there when she was finally able to secure some assistance.

"I do not think so, sweetie, we are going to have to continue to walk." A'awynn replied, distantly.

For some unknown reason, A'awynn did not want to disturb the enchanting man with her petty problems. She pulled her looking glass back up to her eager eye and cast one more longing look in the direction of the brook; but the man was gone. She scanned the area, but there was no sign of him. A'awynn looked away in disappointment; she had committed his profile and perfect body to memory; she would never forget the sight of that beautiful man for as long as she lived; surely he must have been an angel.

Erik mounted again and crossed the brook to the other side, proceeding up the hill. He rode for hours; his shirt had worked its way loose from the confines of his pants and more buttons had become unfastened. He finally came to the ten-foot tall, stone wall that defined the property line of Berwithshire. It was early evening, by the position of the sun. He had been gone, for what would turn out to be, ten hours.

Coming to the entrance gate, Erik turned Nucis to the left onto the winding cobblestone road that led to Berwithshire. He had not been riding on it for long when he spied the carriage. Nucis cantered up to it and Erik dismounted. He assessed the unknown vehicle and found it to be in non-working condition as the left front wheel had become dislodged. He peered inside, finding it devoid of anyone. The luggage was definitely female and there was a great deal of it. He assumed that the passengers had gone afoot.

Erik unbridled the horses from the carriage and took the bridles in hand. Trotting the rest of the way home, Erik enjoyed the cooling breeze as the sun dropped behind the hills and slumbered for the night. Erik still cherished the night, it was unique in its dark beauty and the sounds and feels were so different from the day. He breathed in the fresh, country air as he dismounted and brushed Nucis down. The groomsman, eager to do his job, took over the other two horses. Erik led the Nucis into his large stable and locked the door. He was relaxed and carefree as he made his way toward the castle.

**Chapter 27 Preview – Friends, fatherly pride and the man of her dreams**


	27. Chapter 27

A Place in This World

**Thank you hunting4max, I do love to describe things…I think it allows my readers to paint pictures in their head of what I am describing. I hope you continue to enjoy!**

**OperaLover, I will give you an insight to the future. Lacey will have Erik's heart…but not first…and believe me…there is a horseback ride in the future (is it getting hot in here?)**

**I love your review angelaura76, thank you for letting me know that you enjoy my descriptive writing; but no, I cannot paint or draw very well, so I must continue to paint and draw with words. The origin of A'awynn is a spin-off from the elf princess in "Lord of the Rings", I thought her name was beautiful and decided to alter it a bit and use it…I hope you like it. **

**Here's your update.**

There and back again…(Lord of the Rings)

CHAPTER 27

A'awynn sat in Kaitlyn's quarters talking about the events of the day. It was rather late and both A'awynn and Lacey were exhausted from the walk to Berwithshire. Lacey had given up over an hour ago and drifted to sleep on Kaitlyn's large, soft bed.

"She is truly a lovely child A'awynn…you are so blessed to have her." Kaitlyn stated, feeling a yearning in her heart to experience the joys of motherhood.

He was 40, well past the normal age of childbearing, but she had known women who birthed babies when they were well into their 40's. She had not given up hope.

"She has given me joy beyond anything I ever imagined…I only pray she is not the only child I ever have." A'awynn revealed; thinking again of the mysterious, ruggedly handsome man she had seen on horseback earlier that day. **(Having his babies would be…stop it A'awynn, you will never see him again.)** A'awynn had chosen not to tell Kaitlyn about the man, she chose to keep him her little secret, a taboo picture in her mind meant only for her.

A'awynn squeezed Kaitlyn's hand knowing that she desired children so much. "Is there no man in your life Kaitlyn…someone who gets your blood racing…even just a little?"

Kaitlyn sat quietly for a moment. Her countenance became schoolgirl shy as she revealed her secret, "There is this wonderful man, a commoner, that came with Erik; his best friend…Michél." Kaitlyn caressed his name with her tongue; the French pronunciation sounding exotic to her. "He is 46 with the most beautiful, silver tipped brown hair and the most playful brown eyes…he is such a wonderful man." Kaitlyn was glowing with the affection that Michél caused in her. "He and I have had a few opportunities to talk and he is so intelligent…he says it is from being around Erik all these years…which I don't doubt, he and Erik are inseparable…I just want to spend every moment I can with him."

A'awynn winked at Kaitlyn and leaned into her, "He sounds divine! Are you going to ask him to dance tomorrow night?"

Kaitlyn was appalled at the question A'awynn asked her, "Ladies don't ask men to dance…men ask them…really A'awynn, you are far too forward thinking for your own good…"

Kaitlyn gave her stern look, feigning disappointment; but she knew that this was typical A'awynn behavior…headstrong, forward, and unashamed. For as far back as Kaitlyn could remember, A'awynn had always been a strong personality. Her parents had instilled in her the independent spirit that drove her through life.

"Tell you what, if you ask Michél to dance, I'll ask a man to dance…deal?" A'awynn challenged.

Kaitlyn scowled down at A'awynn's outstretched hand, "Ladies don't make wagers either."

The smile that played on her lips gave her away. A'awynn stood, patiently waiting for her hand to be grasped.

Kaitlyn upped the wages, "Oh well, but you have to ask a man you are attracted too, not just any man."

A'awynn, battling with her longing heart, thought of the beautiful, bare-back riding man that she encountered that day. **(If he showed up…there would be no wasted time in my asking him to dance…but just the fact that he rode bare-back and was on Berwithshire property indicates that he was a servant; probably the head stable master. So, he won't be there…mores the pity!)**

Not betraying her thoughts, A'awynn retorted, "That is really not a fair wager Kaitlyn…I don't know any of the men around here, so how could I possibly be attracted to one?"

Kaitlyn gave her a sideways glare, "Oh come on A'awynn! There will plenty of eligible young men there, one of them is sure to catch your eye!"

"You really are a romantic, aren't you?" A'awynn observed with a glint in her eye. She shrugged her petite shoulders and rose to the standing position, "You have a deal…",

Kaitlyn shook the hand that was offered her and they smiled playfully at each other. "This is going to be fun!"

That was the last thing that A'awynn said before she headed off to bed. She left Lacey on the bed in Kaitlyn's bedroom…she looked so comfortable and peaceful; it was a shame to wake her. Tomorrow was a big day for everyone. A'awynn was looking forward to meeting Erik first thing in the morning.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Erik meandered into the study where Alastair was smoking his pipe and looked to be studying some papers intently. He glanced up at Erik as he came toward him. _"Erik. Did you have a good ride?"_ Erik inclined his head in the positive and gracefully lowered himself into the large, leather-bound chair across from Alastair.

Erik offered his services, "You seem to be deeply involved in something Father, is there anything I can help you with?"

Alastair answered Erik with his head still buried in the papers, "Not unless you know something about indoor plumbing and architecture."

Erik laughed. A full, hearty laugh that Alastair could not remember hearing before. "Father, I only designed the entire Opera Populaire, from the ground up; inside and outside…"Alastair raised his head in complete awe. "…until my rage of passion destroyed it three weeks ago, it was considered to be one of the most glorious structures in Paris; before my vision of the Opera, the building was an abandoned monastery. Making a few modifications to the structural walls and redesigning the décor of the outer shell was the easy part."

The pride that Erik felt for this masterpiece of designing was evident in the smile on his face and the glow in his eyes."The entire inner hull needed to be redesigned and completely done over. The colors were drab and dreary and the atmosphere was not a very inviting one. I redid the blueprints and financed the job through a contractor. No one ever knew that I was actually the owner and builder of the Opera Populaire."

Alastair was completely speechless; he had been to Paris in the glory days of the Opera Populaire and had seen the genius of the design and been in complete awe of such talent. If he had only known…

"I never knew…you never told me." Alastair injected.

Erik smiled a gentle smile and shrugged his broad shoulders, "I am not in the habit of bragging about myself." Erik sat back in the chair and nonchalantly stated, "It is just something that I enjoy doing."

Alastair eagerly pushed the papers toward Erik. He leaned forward once more and picked them up; openly assessing the contents.

After a few minutes of silent study, Erik looked up at Alastair, _"_You are having trouble getting this all to work in cohesion, yes?" Alastair nodded and Erik immediately started making some adjustments in the sketches and writing instructions on the papers. He took about ten minutes to finish what he was going and handed the papers back to Alastair.

Alastair sat staring at the answers in front of him. Erik's suggestions were perfect and so simple.

He grinned; a huge, fatherly grin full of pride. "You really are a genius!" Alastair got up and went around the mahogany desk; Erik rose to meet him. Alastair embraced his son, his large arms letting Erik know how loved he was. "You far surpass any expectations that I ever had of you…your mother is anxious to hear what you can do in music."

Erik stiffened slightly in Alastair arms and the older man drew back and squeezed Erik's shoulder, "It will come back Erik; just give it time…you think your music was all wrapped up in Christine; but your music existed long before she did…search your inner soul…the music is there waiting for you to come home."

Alastair left the study and Erik soon followed. He walked quietly down the hall and up the stairs toward the West Wing of Berwithshire. In doing so, he passed the Music Conservatory that his father had built for Brianna on the occasion of their Fifth Wedding Anniversary. It was a musicians dream. Every instrument imaginable to man was polished and on display. The glistening white, grand piano in the spacious right hand corner was breathtaking and Erik could not help but turn into the room and make his way toward it.

It called to him like a beautiful temptress. His heart was beating furiously in his chest. His long, elegant fingers were itching to caress the ivory keys; and Erik heard melody after melody run through his mind. What his father had said made perfect sense to him. His music had never deserted him; he had deserted it. It was the same mistake he had made in relation to God. In spite of his genius mind, Erik often missed the simple truths in life. He would have to make a point of working on that.

He pulled the heavy, padded bench out and gently glided onto the leather. He raised the cover on the keys and his breath caught in his chest. The piano was as white as snow, but each regular key was pitch black and the half keys were snow white in contrast. They beckoned to him like a mistress seeking consolation and Erik gladly gave into their pleas. His musicians fingers caressed they keys with loving tenderness, willing them to succumb to his wishes. The melody that emerged was so full of awe and majesty. It voiced Erik's love of Scotland and his joy at being reunited with his family. There was the ever-present, underlying sadness of loneliness derived from having no woman to accept his love; but the overall joy of the piece was extraordinary.

Those who were within hearing distance of the Conservatory were certain that the heavens had opened and the archangel Gabriel had come to earth to create music. Brianna was an accomplished pianist and was often asked to entertain at social gatherings; but young Lord Lauchlin, he played at an altogether different level. He was the master demanding that the melody bow to his will. He exuded such emotion in his music…every note; every stanza, opening a window to his soul; allowing the listener to become one with him.

Brianna heard the music and made her way toward it. She had just settled down for the night and was waiting on Alastair when she heard the most amazing sound. She pulled on her lace robe, slipped her dainty feet into satin slippers and made her way toward the Conservatory. Half way there, she found Alastair headed in the same direction.

The couple headed hand in hand for the music. The Conservatory door was open and the candles were lit, encasing the room in a romantic glow. The man at the piano was completely engrossed and was unaware of anyone or anything. His dark head moved adoringly with the music as his fingers created the unnamed melody. The music was such that it drew you into a world all its own; a world of deep emotions and strong convictions.

Brianna cried the tears that she had held back for years; tears that only music could create; tears that cleansed the heart and watered the soul. She was pulled toward Erik by an inexplicable force, leaving Alastair to stare after her. Erik became aware of her presence when he caught her scent on the gentle night breeze. The doors overlooking the garden were open as Erik enjoyed the night air and the tranquility it gave his soul.

He put the final musical phrase on the melody and gently turned to regard his mother. Her tears told him so much. She did not speak at first; she simply wrapped her arms around his neck and held him to her. Erik thrilled at her embrace, something he would have shunned away from just a few short weeks ago, had now become a drug to him. He craved the contact as the body craves water.

"You play with such passion and pain Erik; I have never heard such beauty…is that a piece that you wrote?" Brianna asked.

Erik scooted over on the bench, allowing her to sit beside him. "I have not written it, it was coming from my head…but I will write it if you desire me to."

Brianna was even more impressed. "You just made that up while you were in here just now?"

Erik had no idea why she seemed so surprised. "That is how music comes to me; I sit down at the organ or piano; or even the violin or saxophone, and just allow the melody to work through me. After it reaches its pinnacle, I start putting it on paper; that is how I have written every piece I have ever composed."

Brianna just stared at him with adoring eyes. "You truly are a marvel Erik. Thank you for being my son and for coming home to me."

She leaned over and placed a kiss on his marred cheek, gave his neck one more hug and walked back to Alastair with the most glorious smile on her face. In that moment, Alastair felt tears spring to life in his eyes as he beheld the Brianna he had married, the one that took his breath away; she had come home.

She turned back around to Erik and her most stern motherly tone said, "It is time you were to bed Erik. You have a big day tomorrow and I know your father will have you up at the crack of dawn headed for some unknown; probably non-existent meeting, just to avoid going to the tailor shop to pick up your clothes."

That said, she flipped her still radiant blond head around and smiled slyly at Alastair while she headed back for their bedroom. Alastair grinned to himself; this was going to be an interesting night, very interesting indeed.

Erik laughed lightly at her jestingly stern words. It was uncanny how she always knew what Alastair was planning, even before he himself knew it. Erik just smirked and shook his head; women were such a mystery. He felt the best he had felt in a very long time. His parents loved each other and they loved him; he would have to be happy with that arrangement for the rest of his life. He closed the lid to the piano, closed the door leading to the garden, blew out the candles and retired for the night; his soul had found a resting place.

A'awynn had heard the lovely melody while in the sanctity of her room. She was lost in a dream world full of a dark haired, beautifully masculine figure on a big black stallion. She longed for him in the most eerie of ways. It was as if she knew him; but didn't know him. Something about him was so familiar, but she knew she had never seen him before.

The melody filled her minds eye with its ethereal beauty, drawing her closer to the man. He was kneeling by the brook when he felt her watching him. He unfolded his agile frame and stood to his full height of well over six feet; an attribute that A'awynn found extremely attractive, considering her own tall frame. He walked toward her with agility and predatory grace.

She was able to see him, in a non-profile pose, for the first time. His left side features were breathtaking; rugged and chiseled with a square jaw accented by a dimple set playfully in his chin. His cheek was smooth and perfectly carved. His most arresting feature was his eyes. Jade green with gold specks near the iris; she had never seen such an alluring shade; they reminded her of the depths of the ocean being stirred to a magnificent crest by the merciless force of a tropical storm. They were deep set, making them appear omnipotent. Her heart sped up at the masculine beauty of this man.

She still could not see the right side of his face…it appeared to be encased in the shadows, stopping at just above his sensuous mouth; which she found very strange, as her dream was set in broad daylight. It was as if there was a secret about the right side of his face; something he did not want her to know. Why did this seem so familiar?

"Does he not understand that whatever his secret is, it will not hinder his appeal in my eyes?" A'awynn addressed herself in her dream. "His gorgeous body would be enough to make any woman melt at his feet." She continued to assess the god-like man before her; his white shirt had playfully come untucked from his pants and was open down the front to just above his waist. The sight was nothing short of perfection. The dark hair that dusted his hard, shapely chest was just the right amount. His muscles were pronounced and flexed from the exertion he had put forth in controlling a horse bareback. A'awynn blushed, she had never had a reaction like this to any man, let alone a man she had never actually meant.

Her eyes flew open as she sat up the bed. The music had ended and she had gotten hardly any sleep because of the visions in her head. She threw herself back onto the bed, covered her head with the pillow, and screamed. **(Get him out of your head A'awynn…why are you obsessing over a man you will never see again? Huh? Are you a sucker for punishment and self-abuse? He is probably long gone by know or he is a servant, either way…he is unobtainable.)**

She removed the pillow and curled up on her side. She closed her eyes and prayed for sleep to take her…it finally did…about an hour later; after she had spent a few more minutes contemplating the reality of finding out who this man is. **(Maybe I will ask Kaitlyn… she should know if they have a servant that matches that description or maybe a neighbor or visiting friend…no…I will just keep him to myself.) **Meanwhile, just a few hundred feet down the hall, the man of her dreams rested peacefully; completely devoid of any nightmares for the first time in a long time.

**Chapter 28 Preview – Boy meets girl**


	28. Chapter 28

A Place in This World

**Thank you angelaura76, Pertie, eriksangelofvoice, and OperaLover for your comments on chapter 27. I have been working my way up to this moment haven't I? Kind of like, "When will the first kiss be and how hot will it be?" I know, I know…I am anxiously awaiting the answer to this question also…it will happen at the perfect time. When that is…I don't even know!**

**There will be a few chapters coming up that I would categorize as "M" on the rating chart. I will warn you as they are approaching. I did not think I could write these scenes, but I find that they flow quite easily. I am giving you fair warning. No one under 16 years of age should read them.**

**Patience young ones, patience. Here's your update.**

"For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?" Matthew 16:26, NKJV

CHAPTER 28

The next morning started just the way Brianna had predicted it would. Alastair and Erik were up and off the premises before the sun before the sun spread its exquisite array of colors over the hills. Alastair wanted to introduce Erik to the many local merchants and businessmen who supplied the materials that Alastair used in his building projects. Being a Saturday, the visits were made to the respective homes. Alastair had made in a point through the years of paying personal visits to these families for they kept him working. He wanted them to know Erik as well as they knew him.

While the men were off doing their thing, Brianna sent A'awynn and Kaitlyn into Glasgow to pick up Erik's clothing and procure the last minute items needed for the ball tonight. A'awynn was a little disappointed to have come down to the breakfast room only to find that Erik had once again eluded her. She would just have to wait until tonight to meet him.

The young ladies left early, around 10 a.m., to get to Glasgow. The carriage pulled up in front of The Tailor Shop and they bounded out of it and into the shop. The man retrieved the needed items and had the attendant take the packages out to the carriage. He assured the ladies that Erik had been in yesterday morning and had the final fitting; the suits fit him perfectly.

A'awynn and Brianna made the last couple of stops and by the time they were finished, it was 1:30 in the afternoon. They got a quick bite to eat at a corner café and headed back to Berwithshire. After all, they would only have 4½ hours, once they got back, to ready themselves for the ball tonight and they both wanted to look their best.

Erik was a basket case. It wasn't bad enough that there was going to be 150 people, at least, present tonight; but he also had to dance with the "proper" eligible women. He had spent the greater part of the last hour berating himself. **(Why, for the sake of all that is holy, are you doing this to yourself? The Phantom would never allow himself to be humiliated like this if he knew what was coming…flee…flee into the hills and stay buried…it would be so easy to just disappear.) **In the end, Erik knew that he could not do that and secretly knew that he so wanted to please his mother and father.

Brianna had gone to so much trouble to plan this fête that Erik wanted to help her make it a success; and that, for the most part, depended on him being there. He would play the part to the nth degree and convince everyone that he was completely at ease with his surroundings. He did have a "twitch" in his stomach that usually indicated to him that something life changing was going to happen; but he was probably just nervous.

Erik stood back from the hated mirror and assessed his appearance. He had left his hair free and flowing, everyone seemed to like that best. He opted for a deep green half-mask tonight, giving his emerald eyes an even deeper hue. His suite was black with a forest green satin vest adorned with gold nugget buttons. His Cravat was green with gold threads interwoven into it and his shirt was black satin. He wore polished black boots and the large ring on this left hand that his father had passed on to him; the family crest embedded in a black sapphire surrounded by diamonds and emeralds. It was stunning!

Erik, being one that was never satisfied with his appearance, wished he could just crawl under a rock and not come out until this entire evening was over. The festivities were due to begin in less than 30 minutes and Erik could already hear the large gathering of people anxious to socialize with the young Earl of Lauchlin. His nerves were shot and he really needed a drink; a long, tall, stiff drink…and Erik seldom drank alcohol.

He heard a soft knock on the door and opened it to find Michél standing there. Erik invited him in and they sat at the vast table on the balcony, enjoying the night air. "I cannot believe that I am going to do this…I have become soft and malleable in this short life as an Earl. I fear I shall simply turn into a giant pile of mush and allow anyone to tromp all over me."

Michél smirked at Erik"Oh do stop complaining; you make the best Earl I have ever had the privilege of knowing." Erik's raised eyebrow and crooked grin pulled the next words out of Michél, "Alright, you win. You are the only Earl I have ever known…but I know that you are the best!"

Erik rose to start the long walk down to the ballroom.

Michél came over to him and wrapped his arm around the younger man, "You look splendid Erik; you are quite dashing and handsome in those colors."

Erik brushed the compliment aside and studied Michél's appearance. He was dressed in a deep blue suit with a white shirt and blue cravat; he donned black shoes and his brown, silver-tipped hair was combed fashionably back, emphasizing the full head of hair that he still had.

Erik noticed this and commented, "Are you wearing a wig?...I could have sworn that this morning you were more bald than you are at this moment…what happened?"

Michél gave Erik an I'm-going-to-kill-you-as-soon-as-I-can-catch-you look and Erik just laughed. "You look great Michél; I don't think Kaitlyn will be able to resist your charms." That said, Erik strode out of the room and down the hall.

Michél ran to catch up with him and smiled a knowing smile up at him, "You really think so?"…Erik just shook his head and laughed.

A'awynn had debated with herself over the best color to wear for this evening. She had several choices. Her deep auburn hair had many possible combinations of colors that looked great with it. She had to win the hand of someone for a dance…and that someone had to be a someone she was attracted to. A'awynn rolled her eyes in disgust at herself. She must have gone completely mad to have accepted Kaitlyn's challenge.

She decided to leave her hair free and flowing. The curls were bouncy and big, and her hair cascaded down to just above her waist. A'awynn detested falsehood, and as a result, her face was free of any coloring or any other beautifying products. She decided on the deep burgundy gown that she had only worn once; when she had attended the opera in London. It had a slightly revealing neckline, but a ruffle of lace lent a bit more decency to it. The gown was exquisitely tailored and emphasized A'awynn's feminine curves and long shapely arms. The sleeves were full, but only extended to just above the elbow. She donned black velvet gloves and tied a black velvet ribbon around her hair, forming a fancy but tastefully small bow at the top.

Lacey looked dreamily up at her mother and could not remember a time when she had looked to beautiful. A'awynn placed a kiss upon her daughters head and picked her up into her arms.

"Are you going to have fun mama?...I hope so…you look like an angel."Lacey picked up a curl that leisurely rested on her mothers shoulder and twirled it around her tiny fingers. The softness was so enticing that she rubbed the lock of hair against her cheek. The smell of honeysuckle and lavender soared through the air and Lacey wrapped the lock around her nose to get a better smell. A'awynn found this so endearing.

A'awynn chuckled her reply, "Yes sweetie, I am going to have fun…how about you? Is Bree going to play games with you and teach you some more reading?" Lacey shook her head vigorously and smiled over at Bree. They had become immediate friends and A'awynn was so happy to have someone she could trust to watch Lacey. Bree was 18 and training to be a nanny in the royal homes of Scotland; Alastair had handpicked her to come and train here. He knew good help when he saw it.

A'wynn put Lacey down and slipped on her black satin shoes. She was already late by about 15 minutes, but she was never one to be anywhere on time. "You be good sweetie, and do what Bree tells you."

Lacey smiled and took Bree's hand. "Mama, I hope you dance with the most handsomest man in all the world and fall madly, deeply in love!" She dropped her hand from Bree's and clapped her hands together and closed her eyes, seeing her ideal dream world come into view. A'awynn laughed at her daughters innocent statement, she was a little matchmaker; she always wanted a "they lived happily ever after" to culminate a story.

The gala was in full swing by the time A'awynn emerged through the doors. She was not one for entertaining, but she knew that Brianna was known for and enjoyed such things. Her eyes scanned the area for Kaitlyn and found her not far away talking to a young woman of about 20; upon a closer look, A'awynn saw that the young woman was Kaitlyn's niece, Keira; she looked like she was or had been crying.

Keira looked up as A'awynn approached them. A'awynn smiled at them both. Keira was 22 and not much younger than A'awynn was. They had not had many opportunities to talk, but they were what many would consider friends. Kaitlyn whispered something in Keira's ear and the young lady smiled and wiped her tears.

A'awynn came up beside Kaitlyn, who proceeded to elaborate things, "Keira is having man problems…and wanted an impartial ear to listen. Apparently, young Lord Maddox has a roving eye; she saw him flirting outrageously with a countess from Sweden the other evening."

"Ahh, the old roving eye. The only solution is to make him see what a tasty bit of flirting you can do; not in a look-at-me-I'm-ready-to-jump-into-bed kind of way, but more of a subtle, there-is-no-other-woman-as-beautiful-as-me-and-if-you-are-not-careful-you-will-lose-me kind of way." Kaitlyn and Keira both giggled at the suggestion that A'awynn stated.

"That is almost the exact same thing that Aunt Kaitlyn told me to do." The two older women watched as the younger one sauntered off to try her hand at flirting.

A'AWYNN'S VIEW…

A'awynn was chatting with Kaitlyn when the feeling of being watched came over her. She lifted her head, expecting to see who it was immediately, but she saw no one. She excused it as nerves and continued with her conversation. Not two minutes had gone by and she felt it again. She spun around and her breath caught in her throat!

Tall, dark and handsome stood only ten feet away. There he was, the man whose bareback ride through Berwithshire yesterday had totally captivated her! His glorious green eyes wrapped themselves around her heart and pulled her to him. His gorgeous face was half covered in a green mask; well, half was pushing it, more like a third covered. His mouth; full-lipped and incredibly sexy was curved in an ostentatious smile, making little shots of excitement raced up A'awynn's spine.

Recognition shot through her like a bolt of lighting as the reality of who he was hit her. **(Erik! This magnificent man is Erik! Oh my…could life get any better? This man has been under the same roof with me and I had no idea!)** A'awynn devoured him with her eyes. He was, quite possibly, the most attractive man she had ever seen. He had captivated her yesterday in his natural magnificence; but tonight…heavens! He took her breath away! **(Careful girl, don't embarrass yourself…)**

Finally, she stood before him after what seemed like a lifetime of trying to reach him. **(Those eyes…never take them from me Erik.) **She curtsied low and eagerly offered her hand to him.

His large, masculine, perfect hand accepted her offer and he placed a chase kiss upon her sensitive skin and her lilting voice rang forth, "Lord Erik, it is an honor and a pleasure to finally meet you. I am Lady A'awynn Raelin Yancey."

As he bowed in front of her, it was all A'awynn could do to keep her hand from burying itself in the luscious strands of his dark, wavy hair. "Believe me, my lady; the pleasure is all mine." His voice caressed her spine with it's erotically, silky quality; deep and sensuous. Rivulets of pleasure sparked every sensitive area on A'awynn's body.

Erik stood straight once again and she was pleased to realize that he stood a good six inches above her…perfect for resting her head against the beat of his heart and teasing his chest hairs with her breath as she admired the sculptured beauty of his body. Thankfully, A'awynn had carried her fan with her and she made ready use of it…it was getting hot in the room as her body temperature rose with her attraction to Erik.

ERIK'S VIEW…

Erik had danced with every woman in the room, he was sure of it. Their endless bantering had left him with an awful headache and all he wanted to do was disappear. It wasn't that Erik did not enjoy having these women in his arms, but he knew that his wealth and title were what drew them to him, not his personal self. He had seen every type of woman imaginable; those he would not touch with a ten-foot pole, those who undressed him with their eyes, those who were so shy that he could not fathom how they ventured out the door to get here and…

Then there was her. Erik almost had to do a double take to make sure he had not conjured her up simply to take his mind off the simpletons that vied for his attention at every turn. She was perfect. Tall and sinewy, with hair the color of autumn leaves and ivory skin that would make cream look imperfect. Her gown only served to intensify the alluring color of her hair and the neckline made Erik breath a little heavier.

Her ample bosom swelled teasingly over the boundary of her gown, whispering for Erik to entice the area with the gentle, exploring touch of his hands and mouth. Her long, slender arms promised hours of pleasure wrapped in their warm embrace as she purred with sexual contentment beneath him. The slender curve of her neck beckoned him to place passionate kisses upon the pulse point just above her bosom and tilt her had back into his hand as he tasted her with his tongue and fanned kisses on every, aching inch as he buried his face in her glorious hair and breathed in its fragrance.

Erik watched her as she found his eyes on her. He did not hide his open appraisal of her as she made her way toward him. Erik admired beauty, in its many forms, and he found her to be the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. His frenzy heart and frazzled nerves did not show as she stood before him. His first thought was to flee; she must find the sight of a masked man repulsive and disgusting; but her eyes…

For the first time, Erik really saw her eyes. The most exquisite shade of blue, no turquoise…her eyes were the color of turquoise! Erik was utterly speechless! Her eyes were actually devouring him with their intense assessment of him and he could do nothing but get lost in their unusual, unique beauty. His eyes focused on her enticing mouth as she began to curtsy to him. What he would not give to taste the sweet nectar of her mouth with his novice tongue and feel her melt in his arms as he…**(now stop it, you are going to work yourself into an absolute frenzy…just look, don't touch)**

She curtsied elegantly before him and he took her small, soft hand and placed a kiss on it in the appropriate manner.

Her melodious voice filled his senses, "Lord Erik, it is an honor and a pleasure to finally meet you. I am Lady A'awynn Raelin Yancey." Her name was every bit as beautiful as she was.

"Believe me, my lady; the pleasure is all mine." That gorgeous voice spoke.

He bowed to her and raised himself to stand a few inches from her. She came to his chin and this intrigued him even more. Most women barely reached the mid-point of his chest, and some did not even make it that far. This exquisite creature appealed to him in every way. **(Don't do this to yourself man…she is a woman…nothing more…nothing less. She will rip your heart out and laugh while you bleed! She could never love a monster like you…don't ever forget what you are.)**

Erik did not know what to think of the way she kept looking at him. Did he look funny or have something stuck between his teeth? She opening stared at him and, for once, it seemed that she did not simply focus on his mask. She studied him as one would study a work of art in a museum; Erik felt for certain that he was no work of art, so what did she find so interesting about his appearance?

When she pulled a fan from the folds of her gown and began to fan herself, Erik felt a little less pensive, but slightly saddened. She must be warm or she over extended herself; it was not me at all. He scanned her face again for any sign of disgust or revulsion, but there had been no sign of either; she simply seemed willing to tolerate his presence…Erik was thankful.

A'awynn was on the verge of asking Erik to dance when he was swept into a conversation with Alastair. She reluctantly watched him recede from her, admiring the graceful silence in the way he moved. **(How can a man move so gracefully and elegantly and still be the most masculine man I have ever seen? He moves like a majestic black panther on the prowl; silent and deadly.)**

The man was a work of art. He was tall and well built, with the most arresting pair of green eyes; eyes that completely consumed you in their smoldering depths. If there was such a thing as love at first sight, A'awynn had experienced it, firsthand… **(But surely he has hordes of women vying for his attention and the chance to win his hand in marriage)**…but as reality hit her, A'awynn remembered a previous chat that she'd had with Kaitlyn; just last night as she had readied herself for bed…

FLASHBACK

"He is so negative about himself A'awynn. He has been rejected and despised for almost 30 years…how do I make him understand that he is not repulsive to his family and no one else should think so either?" Kaitlyn shed silent tears for the brother whose presence had already grown as important to her as it had been all those years ago.

Kaitlyn looked into A'awynn's sorrowful eyes, "Father told me that Erik revealed to him his intent to go to the Middle East and have the surgical procedure done that would render him a eunuch." The last hated word was spat out vehemently. "He says the desire to have love and romance would then cease to exist, as would the ability to take what he has been denied by force." Kaitlyn succumbed to a wail of tears. She hurt deeply for her brother, who despite the engulfing and warm love of his family, still had had no romantic love in his life; at least none that had been returned willingly.

"Can you imagine hating yourself so much that you are willing to mutilate yourself just to make others able to endure your presence…or even your touch? I cannot…it…I…Erik!" Kaitlyn sobbed as A'awynn held her trembling form.

The tears that ran down A'awynn's creamy cheek gave her the resolve to seek Erik out and let him know how ludicrous this procedure sounded. Even if Erik were as ugly as she had been led to believe…looks were not everything…she was sure that Erik had other qualities that would make him attractive to women.

END FLASHBACK

A'awynn laughed at the craziness of the notion! Erik? Ugly? Absolutely not! A'awynn would die before she would allow this heavenly man to continue to think that there was no chance at romance in his life. If she had her way, she would be in his arms, have a set of rings on her finger and be in his bed before the month was out! She would make Erik see just how utterly seductive, alluring and desirable he really was. A'awynn had never been one to ignore her desires…and…she desired Erik!

**Chapter 29 Preview – Bad news?**


	29. Chapter 29

A Place in This World

**Thank you for all the words…my heart is singing!**

**I know hunting4max, she does seem forward; but my thinking is this. She has waited all her life for that "Great Love" and she wasted years with James that were not "Great Love" years. She is 29 years old and knows what she wants. She is independent and head strong, but also very confident and self-assured. She will show Erik that she loves and desires him on both a spiritual and physical level; and she can do that without being a slut, I hope you enjoy how she pulls it off!**

**Thank you to angelaura76 and Pertie…you are the ink in my pen (or…the ink in my cartridge, so to speak) you know what I mean! Thanks for reading!**

**I will continue to post the following warning from here on out, it may be modified on the chapters that it pertains to.**

_**There will be a few chapters coming up, much later, that I would categorize as "M" on the rating chart. I will warn you as they are approaching. I did not think I could write these scenes, but I find that they flow quite easily. I am giving you fair warning. No one under 16 years of age should read them.**_

"Dignity doctor…dignity." (Gerard Butler as Dracula in "Dracula 2000

CHAPTER 29

The evening progressed and Erik grew more and more agitated as time went by. He had given his best effort this evening, but the insipid conversations and amateur dancing had him in a foul frame of mind. The conversation with his father earlier had him doubting that he could carry through with the role of Lord Erik Bryant Lauchlan; he had given himself more credit than he should have.

FLASHBACK

_Earlier that evening, when Erik was called away by Alastair…_

Erik followed Alastair into the study and closed the door. Alastair turned towards him with an ashen face; a concerned look had replaced the normally relaxed features. He indicated for Erik to sit and both men reclined into the tall-backed, leather chairs by the desk.

Erik felt his heart beat in his throat and a feeling of dread had suddenly settled in his bones. What could be the problem? Alastair's hands were clasped in front of him and the knuckles were paling from the pressure he applied. He was obviously very upset about something, and all Erik could do was wait for him to speak.

"I was called into a meeting with the House of Lords this morning. They brought a very disturbing issue to my attention."Alastair lifted concerned and fearful eyes to Erik. "It is a matter of noble politics, something I detest; but unfortunately, it is a fact of life."Alastair smirked at Erik, his face holding little humor.

"An English Lord is making a claim on Berwithshire. He claims that his birthright goes back 350 years." Erik creased his forward and lifted his perfect eyebrow.

"It was not really an issue when you were considered lost to us…but now that you have been returned to your rightful title and birthright, he is pressing the matter."Erik was unsure of how this all tied in together, but he did not like the underlying hint of panic he heard in his fathers voice.

"What matter would that be, sir?" Erik asked with trepidation.

"It is an old statute that is never enforced, but his family has fallen on hard times and he sees a way out; through Berwithshire." Erik waited with an impatient glint in his eye for his father to get to the point. "The Lauchlan heir to Berwithshire must be married and expecting child of his own by the age of 30; or the lands, title and holdings revert back to our English cousins; in this case, Lord Edward Chisholm."

Erik had failed. He had failed to give his father the one thing he desired; another generation to rule over and tend to Berwithshire. He bowed his head in defeat and felt tears of betrayal and disappointment welling up. He looked at his father, who continued with the story.

"Because of your mitigating circumstances, the House of Lords have granted you a month, from the date of your arrival, to find a bride, and six months after the wedding to get her with child…that leaves two weeks." Alastair leaned forward and looked into Erik's dark features; looks of deep sorrow fell over Erik's face as he listened to his father pronounce his sentence.

"He is doing this because he knows my background…he knows that no woman will have me, and means to claim our lands for himself…knowing I will fail." Erik's words were forced through gritted teeth; a seething rage was rising to a boiling point in his soul"It would have been better if you had never found me, or I had died by the hangman's noose; either way, Berwithshire would be safe."

"Don't be absurd son…we can fight this." Erik looked incredulously at his father, not confident in his words.

"Indulge me, father; just how are we to fight this?" Erik asked.

Alastair looked at him with thoughtful eyes. "When tonight's festivities are over, we will call the family together and I will present the solution."

Alastair reached into his breast pocket and pulled out, what appeared to be, a telegram.

"Christine sent a telegram. I have not read it…I presumed you would not want me to." Alastair handed the paper into Erik's shaking hand. "You will never fully be free of her, my son. She captured your heart and stole a piece of your soul…she will always linger."

Erik had apparently not fooled his father with his blasé attitude toward Christine when he had bid her good-bye…a part of him, his heart, would always be hers; for he doubted anyone else would ever want it.

He lifted his eyes to Alastair; eyes that held shadows of the pain that had resided there for so many years. "Your mind let her go; now, if you could only convince your heart."Alastair turned with those words and left the study, Erik took a moment to reflect on what he had said, and followed.

Erik stuffed the telegram in his pocket, not wanting to read its content just yet. He made his way back into the ballroom, not even aware of the admiring stares he was soliciting from the women. He was aware they would turn to each other and whisper, but he always assumed they were mocking him or degrading him; and he was supposed to find a wife among them within two weeks. They could not even stand the sight of him! How much more outrageous could things get?

END FLASHBACK

He genuinely cared about his mother, father, sisters and their respective families. But he felt completely trapped in a life he was unprepared for. The reclusive part of his personality told him to cut his losses and get out, leaving them to a life without him; they would adjust to his absence; after all, they knew he was alive.

The refined part of his personality gently prodded him to accept his new life; and not accept it, but embrace it. There were aspects about it that he truly enjoyed. The unlimited time under the Scottish sun was one of those things. He had discovered a land as wild and uninhibited as his soul, and he did not wish to part with it. Having time in the sun was luxury that Erik had done without almost all his life. He would hate to give it up.

Erik was a genius, an artist, and a magician; he could fake his death and allow his family to mourn him properly. He had done it before, and he could do it again. He could find a place where beautiful, auburn-haired, turquoise-eyed temptresses did not exist and he could be completely alone for the rest of his life…as he should be. He could resume his composing and allow his solitude and self-detestable mind frame to feed his art, as it had always done in the past.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A'awynn had not had an opportunity to move toward Erik and ask him to dance. She had been coerced into a conversation with Lady Treasa Murray, a…shall we say…acquaintance from her earlier years. She and Treasa had gone to Boarding School together; they had never really been friends, but they had talked on occasion…unfortunately…this was an occasion.

She had watched him as he gracefully flowed back into the room, but his countenance had changed considerably. He no longer had the inviting stance to his rigid body and his shoulders were slightly slumped, as if he had been given bad news. What on earth had Alastair told him?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Erik could bear it no longer and left the confines of the ballroom. He could feel the walls closing in on him with every passing moment. He slipped onto the veranda and headed for the Conservatory; answering the plea of his one true love…music.

He found the double doors to the conservatory were open for effect and he floated in, as though riding the wind. The piano seemed to summon him with its glossy shine and polished keys. He worshipfully ran his hands along the outside edges and propped the top of it open to about half way. He could feel the anticipation building in his body as he heard a melody stirring in his mind.

He could be anyone he wanted to be with music. It did not expect anything of him, nor did it care that he wore a mask; it only did his bidding. The first strands of the melody were tranquil and peaceful; gliding out the doors and carried on the wind toward the lake. Erik's best moments were shining in its hushed tones and buoyant whispers.

He moved into a more demanding sound as the music progressed; telling the story of his squalid past and the constant, inner search for truth that had always eluded him. His powerful emotions and strong passions marched on every note. The pain he endured as a child, all but forgotten, chilled the night air as the cries of a four-year-old boy echoed in the music's eerie resonance.

Tears, unbridled and shameless, fell from Erik's eyes onto the keys. He was unaware of anything or anyone as he completely surrendered to the call of the wild. He barely breathed as he moved in unison with the music, becoming one with its rich and sorrowful timbre. His closing stanza was full of promise, as he swore to the music that he would never again abandon her; for she had never abandoned him.

0000000000

A'awynn watched as Erik left through the terrace doors. She could see that he was escaping the crowd, and felt she could relate to that. She turned to follow him when Kaitlyn caught her arm and informed her that Lacey was asking for her. A'awynn turned on her heal and immediately made her way to her daughters room, a feeling of motherly anxiety gripping her heart.

Kaitlyn started to follow, but A'awynn insisted that she would be fine, requesting that Kaitlyn continue to enjoy the evening. The hallways were virtually empty as she made her way through them toward her suite near the West Wing. She reached the door and swung it open. The first sound she heard was Lacey's soft whimper as she rounded the corner toward Lacey's room.

Lacey bounded off the bed and into her mama's arms as A'awynn bent over and scooped her petite daughter into her embrace. She placed a kiss on Lacey's wet cheek and pushed the stray curls from her face.

"What is it Lacey?"A'awynn administered motherly caresses to Lacey's back,"Why are you crying, honey?" A'awynn sat down on the edge of the bed and rocked her daughter softly.

Her soft whimpers stalled and Lacey looked into her mother's concerned eyes. "I had a really bad nightmare…there was a man…I know it was Erik…" Lacey saw the surprise in A'awynn's eyes and thought she did not remember Erik, "…you remember him mama, the man we came to be friends with…" A'awynn smiled and shook her head. "I saw him in a dark place with no windows and he was crying and alone…very alone. He kept calling for a woman, but she never came…she had left him mama…," new tears fell from Lacey's already drenched eyes. "…she left him all alone and he wanted to die…die to make her happy." The last statement was said in a whisper wracked with sobs.

A'awynn continued to rock Lacey as the child cried for a man she had never meant, but who had earned her love and compassion, simply by being scarred and alone. "I also saw him put a rope around his neck mommy…I think he tried to kill himself."

Lacey's agonized eyes caused A'awynn to place another kiss upon her forehead. The words that her daughter had said disturbed A'awynn greatly. Had Erik tried to kill himself? If so, why?

They both heard it at the same time. The wonderful, angelic music floated on the wind, soaring in the open window. "Where is that coming from mama?" Lacey asked. A'awynn carried Lacey to the window and looked out. The conservatory was across the courtyard, almost directly across from the suite in which they were staying. A'awynn could barely make out the figure of a man at the piano. A man she recognized.

She continued to carry Lacey down the hall toward the heavenly sound. As they approached the music, A'awynn placed Lacey on the floor and removed her shoes; somehow, it seemed that the music and the man creating it was sacred, as well as the moment. Both young ladies walked toward the man on the bench, neither of them wishing to disturb him.

He had removed his jacket, vest, and cravat and all he wore was his shirt, pants and boots. His sleeves were long and flowing, creating wings as he floated across the keys. All that A'awynn saw of him was his broad, muscular back, his shapely backside and the neck-length, raven curls that seemed to have a mind of their own.

He was a magnificent sight, but what really caught her attention was the music he created. She had never heard such passion and pain come from the same person within the same stanza of music. He was a master pianist, easily conquering each chord combination and impervious to sharps and flats. He changed keys effortlessly from minor to major and back again; never ruining the flow of the music…it was magical.

Even better than all of that, he was softly singing. The words were unrecognizable or foreign, she wasn't sure; all she knew was that she had never heard such a voice. He was a tenor, that was obvious, but his range was superb. He fluently sang the upper register notes and in the next moment, was sinking into the bass notes flawlessly. She did not know that such talent existed.

Lacey could not stop herself from approaching the man at the piano; something about him was very familiar. She tried to hum along with and Erik immediately became aware of her presence and that of A'awynn. He jerked up from the bench and away from the piano in one fluid motion.

Lacey was not in the least bit frightened by his sudden movement; she stood her ground and looked into Erik's stormy, green eyes. Erik had never experienced such a stare before. It was unnerving. His raw emotions were still very much exposed from his affair with the music, and he did not like the fact that this tiny girl seemed to be able to read his mind.

Those innocent, grey eyes regarded him with no malice or disgust, just curiosity and kindness.

Her mother's words interrupted the moment, and Erik looked again at Lady A'awynn. "Lacey, I would like to introduce to you, Lord Erik Bryant Lauchlan, Earl of Berwithshire." Lacey curtsied to him and this brought a strained smile to Erik's face. He swept into a low, elegant bow, which made her giggle.

"Lord Erik, this is my daughter, Lady Lacey Patrice Yancey,"he heard A'awynn say.

Erik took his second bow, completely exaggerating the motions, causing another fit of giggles from the delightful little girl. He came down from his lofty height and squatted in front of her; taking her wee hand in his gigantic one, he placed a kiss atop it, making Lacey blush a pretty shade of pink.

Her petite body moved into his chest and she held his head between her hands, not even questioning the mask. "I have dreams about you Mr. Erik, dreams that make me sad."

Erik was taken aback by her revelation. This girl did not know him at all, and she was having dreams about him? From the sound of it, her dreams were more like nightmares.

She took his hand and pulled it around to her upper back; causing him to feel what felt like scars on her back. She looked deep into his eyes and spoke to his soul, "Mama told me about your scars; scars that a mean man gave you. When she said that we were coming to meet you, I said I wantedto be your special friend…because I am scarred too. Can I be your special friend, Erik?"

Erik smiled through the tears, _"_I would be delighted to call you friend, Lady Lacey. I don't have many of those." Erik ruffled the thick, blond curls on her head and stood up.

Lacey, however, was not finished with him, "Can you teach me to play like that?"

She stared longingly at the piano and gently touched one of the black keys and the softest, sweetest sound came forth. She almost worshipped the sound that emanated from it.

Erik gently smiled down at her, "If your mother says that you can be taught by an awfully grumpy, hideously ugly, old masked man, than I would find the opportunity to teach you, enchanting."

Lacey giggled and clapped her hands together gleefully. A'awynn just laughed and watched her prance around like a life-size fairy.

Erik stood at the terrace door and watched as people began to file out of the doors of the ballroom and head home. The music from the orchestra was still heard, as its whisper lingered on the breeze. Erik turned to A'awynn and once again was struck by how stunning she looked. He had never seen a woman with her coloring before and he felt sure he would never see one again.

"I am sorry that our conversation was cut short earlier, my father had some business he had to discuss with me." Erik bowed and asked, "Was there something you had intended to ask me? It seemed that you had an inquiring look on your face as I left."

A'awynn blushed slightly, anxious but also hesitant to invite him to dance. She coyly smiled, "Lord Erik, I am a very open-minded woman with strong opinions and convictions…I hope you understand that I am sometimes a bit forward in my thinking; I hope I do not offend you."

Erik actually laughed at that, not grasping why she would care about his feelings. She loved the way his melodious voice sounded when he laughed. "There is not much in life that would offend me; so I think you're safe."

He turned to head out the terrace doors, toward the courtyard. A'awynn's soft whisper reached his ears and he turned to her, "I never got the pleasure of a dance, my lord."

He just stood there without saying a word. However, his mind was very active. **(I had hoped she was different and would not pretend to have an attraction for me just to vie for the money and title…) **Erik's jaded heart ached dully, **(I never was a very good judge of character.)** Erik watched as her feminine form strolled towards him; he flinched as she gently took his hand.

His eyes had clouded over with a look of pain and A'awynn could not fathom why he would recoil from her touch. She could see the admiration in his impossibly green eyes; he was obviously attracted to her. He visibly relaxed after a few seconds of her hand being in his and he cautiously circled her waist with his arm and led her onto the terrace.

His face held no emotion as he dutifully danced with her. A'awynn got the impression that he was purposefully avoiding eye contact and his body was rigid, as if he feared getting too close to her. The music was just loud enough that they could make out the melody and Erik hummed softly as he waltzed with her. Even though she was obviously playing him for the fool, he enjoyed the simple pleasure of having a beautiful woman in his arms, if even for a fleeting moment.

A'awynn could not help but see the shadow of a deep pain in his beautifully, haunted eyes; it had not been there earlier and she wished she could remove it from him. He seemed much less approachable than he had at the beginning of the night and A'awynn found herself curious about the conversation he had had with Alastair. Whatever it was, it had altered Erik; giving him a more reserved demeanor and suffering eyes.

OOOOOOOOOO

The guests were almost gone and the music had come to and end. Erik and A'awynn danced a few minutes until Erik abruptly pulled away from her. "It has been a pleasure, Lady A'awynn. You are a skilled dancing partner and I have finally enjoyed the art of dancing tonight, thank you." Erik gave a suave bow. "Your daughter is a beautiful child and I do hope you consider allowing me to teach her to play the piano; I may look a fright, but I don't really bite." That said, Erik turned and walked toward the ballroom. It was 11:15 p.m., and the family began to gather for the meeting that Erik dreaded.

**Chapter 30 Preview – A Family Meeting and Glimpses of a Phantom**


	30. Chapter 30

A Place in This World

**Many quick responses on the last chapter. I felt that I needed to add a bit of mystery to the story, I hope you will all enjoy…**

**Pertie, Erik still loves Christine, but he is no longer "in love" with Christine; he is an extremely intelligent man and I think it goes against his personality to beat a dead horse…she will always hold a special place in his heart…but, at least in this story, there will not be anything between them other than a deep abiding friendship.**

**OperaLover and hunting4max…answers are coming…(wink)**

**Angelaura76, sorry about the turn of events. Things were just going along too smoothly. Erik needs a bit of excitement in his life, and a challenge. Stay tuned.**

**Eriksangelofvoice**…he still has Phantom moments…

**I will continue to post the following warning from here on out, it may be modified on the chapters that it pertains to.**

_**There will be a few chapters coming up much later, that I would categorize as "M" on the rating chart. I will warn you as they are approaching. I did not think I could write these scenes, but I find that they flow quite easily. I am giving you fair warning. No one under 16 years of age should read them.**_

There's no place like home…(Dorothy from the "The Wizard of Oz")

CHAPTER 30

Erik sat on the divan waiting on the family. He took this brief reprieve and pulled out the telegram that Christine had sent him. He had an unsettled feeling; something told him things were not right…

"**Dear Erik,**

**I find this a very difficult note to write. I have treated you inexcusably in the past and am not deserving of the request I ask; however, of all the feelings I have for you, I am in most need of your friendship at this moment.**

**Raoul's family has forbidden us to marry. His father has sequestered all his lands and holdings, as well as stripped him of his title.**

**I am unwilling to allow Raoul to ruin his life for me. We mutually agreed to end our relationship as friends. We have been apart for years until recently, and we find that our interests and goals are differing, so much so that we cannot believe that a union between us would work.**

**I have lost both of the men who hold my heart.**

**The main reason for this letter is to ask you if I may be allowed to come to Scotland and visit you; I sorely need your comforting voice, soothing eyes and dashing smile.**

**I will be awaiting your reply**

**Hoping to see you soon,**

**Christine**

Erik's heart broke for the couple who had been so in love; a love that had allowed him to release her to him…now it was all for naught. He would telegram her and inform her that she was more than welcome in his home. He would have to deal with whatever feelings he still had for her, when the time came.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Alastair was certain that he and Erik could overcome this setback. Erik may not be happy with his solution, but it was the only one that made any sense. He looked around the room and noticed that A'awynn was not there. "Where is A'awynn? She needs to be here; she is part of this family and has been since she was a child."

Erik cringed. He was not fond of having this particular woman involved in his personal affairs; she was entirely too bewitching; he could easily get lost in those eyes and forget the pain that she would undoubtedly reign down upon his abused heart. He had to force himself to push her away from him when they were dancing, but he knew he could not continue to hold her without wanting more from her; and that was definitely out of the question.

As if hearing her queue, A'awynn glided through the doors and smiled at everyone as she entered. She took a seat next to Kaitlyn and apologized for her tardiness, "I had to put Lacey down for the night…she seems to be very excited about some up and coming piano lessons." A'awynn laid playful eyes on Erik, making him shift under her gaze.

Alastair smiled briefly and cleared his throat. _"_Our family, lands, titles and holdings have come under fire." Alastair glanced at Erik, who in turn lowered his head. "Lord Chisholm has enforced the 'Right to Claims' statute pertaining to Berwithshire. His claim goes back 350 years and is legitimate and enforceable." Alastair took a seat to prevent him from appearing foreboding. "This statute states that the male heir to Berwithshire will be married and have a child by the time he is 30."

Angus spoke up and stated the obvious, "But Erik is already 33. Has he lost his claim to Berwithshire?"Alastair looked at Angus with a very serious stare.

"The House of Lords has taken Erik's circumstances under consideration and have granted him 30 days from his arrival to take a bride…that only leaves two weeks. The other stipulation is the matter of a child;" Alastair went over to Erik whose head was bowed and his eyes closed. He had removed his mask for the sake of the family, the preferred him that way. His strong fingers on his right hand massaged his forehead roughly, trying to extricate the monstrous headache that had formed. Alastair placed his hand on Erik's shoulder and felt the younger man tense under his touch. "Erik will have six months from the date of his marriage to get his wife with child."

"There are no secrets in this family; we know Erik's history, his lack of experience with women, and his reluctance to give his heart to anyone…ever again." Alastair moved away from Erik and addressed his other family members. "I am of the opinion that Erik must choose a wife from among the eligible, qualified women in the area…Erik, it is your time to speak." Alastair sat down and gave the floor to Erik.

Erik just sat for a few minutes before standing and turning dejectedly to this family that had come to mean so much to him. He did not make eye contact with A'awynn, although he was very much aware of her presence; he was certain she was laughing at his misfortune. "It is not my desire to bind any woman to me…ever. I have nothing to offer a woman that would, in any way, make life with me tolerable…I can think of other ways to ensure that Berwithshire stays in the hands of the Lauchlan family."

Alastair interjected, "Erik, stop degrading yourself, I thought you had moved past that horrible habit…you have a great deal to offer besides your title and wealth."

Erik glowered at Alastair, "Like what; my sunny disposition, handsome face, and quick wit?" Erik was feeling the dark, dank, dread coming over him again, it's familiar tentacles were pulling him under its strong grasp; the intense happiness of the last two weeks seemed as a distant memory or an illusive dream. "No woman deserves to have to endure my presence, let alone my touch, just because I was unfortunate enough to have undergone alterations when I was a young boy and was not able to fulfill my duties as the next Duke of Berwithshire."

Erik looked each family member in the eye, knowing they were already regretting his return to the family, "I have the skill, intelligence , and means to fake my own death; or cause it, whichever way works best…I could simply disappear and this family could return to normal, like it was before I got here."

Brianna made her way to the front of the room and stood directly in front of Erik. Tears were the voice of the pain she was feeling; her words were brusque and frosted with irritation, "How can you stand there and think that this family will desert you in this hour? Have we not proven our love for you time and time again?" Brianna grasped the front of Erik's shirt, disciplining him as though her were a boy again. "We searched and searched for you for years…now that we have you back, we are not about to let you sink into familiar dark pools of depression without being there to pull you out." Erik looked at his mother's earnest eyes and wanted so badly to believe that he belonged here.

Brianna pulled him down on the divan next to her, "Erik, we know that it will not be an easy adjustment for you. Thirty years of being made to feel less than human will take weeks, maybe months, for you to overcome…you are going to have times when you resort back to your old ways, they are familiar and comfortable to you." Her gentle, matronly hand cupped his unblemished cheek, "We are all sorry that this issue has come up and you must, once again, tread unfamiliar waters…but trust me, my son, we will be here beside you through it all."

Erik knew that what she said made sense. He lifted distant eyes to Brianna as she continued, "Let us choose your bride Erik…if you feel that you cannot handle this, we can." Erik nodded his agreement, "We will choose wisely my son, your feelings and desires will be the top priority…"

Erik interrupted his mother, "No, her feelings and desires should be first and foremost. She will be the one getting the raw end of this deal."

OOOOOOOOOOOO

A'awynn watched with a faint heart as Erik's future fell apart in front of him. She had never seen such a look of shear horror and defeat on anyone's face before. He truly believed that no woman would ever want to make a life with him; a life of love and laughter. This realization brought a lump to A'awynn's throat and tears to her eyes.

A'awynn knew of Erik's love for Lucy and Christine and how they had ended; she knew that he had been tortured, both physically and mentally for several years at the hand of a sadistic Gypsy master and had probably suffered many other things on top of that. She had heard his family talking about his life and how strong his character must be for him to have survived all that he had endured.

Even in his embarrassment and agony, his first thoughts were for the woman that would become his wife and the mother of his children. He did not want to condemn her to a life with, what he referred to as, "a mean spirited, grossly ugly, living corpse" as her husband. He would satisfy the needed amount of time required to assure that Berwithshire stayed in the hands of the Lauchlan family, he would secure his wife and child with enough wealth to sustain them through life comfortably, and then…he would do what needed to be done. When he said the latter, A'awynn was certain the "what needed to be done", referred to his death.

Alastair's voice cracked the silence that had fallen over the room"She will need to be of noble birth…preferably wealthy in her own right and titled…a more mature woman in her twenties, not a young, naive girl with no idea of how to be a wife and mother…" Alastair looked down at Erik, "What are some qualities you would require?"

Erik allowed a bit of humor to enter his eyes and a sad smile to grace his enticing mouth, "Breathing would be nice, other than that…I'm hardly one to be choosy."

Alastair snorted with a forced smile and shook his head, "Erik, you're not helping the situation any. Do have any ideas?"

Erik's agitation was quite prevalent in every syllable of every word, "I do believe it is getting very late and all of us are exhausted. My present suggestion is that we get a good nights rest, at least most of us, and discuss this more in depth tomorrow after chapel service." **(And after my ire has subsided)** Alastair seemed to agree with a nod of his head and everyone voiced to the affirmative.

Erik strode determinately out the door toward his residence, his mood was abominable and he was not sure if he would be able to get any rest at all. Having his personal business advertised to his entire family and Lady A'awynn had him seething. His life had been turned upside down in a matter of moments and Erik was not keen on the direction it was taking.

A'awynn ran to catch up with him, not fully certain of what to say to him. He had become rather dark and aloof over the last few hours and she feared he was not thinking as he should be. Erik felt the very unsettling feeling of having her stare at him, and stopped in mid-stride, intolerantly turning to face her. This particular woman had the ability to make him feel very despondent, and he knew he needed to stay away from her for his sanity to remain intact.

"Is there something I can perhaps do for you Lady A'awynn? If not, I have no use for your pity and mocking eyes." His tone was dripping with resentment and his eyes were cold. Where had the gentle, shockingly innocent man gone that had made her daughter feel like a princess when he offered to teach her to play the piano? Where had the tender, seductive man gone who held her in his arms while dancing with such grace?

In his place was a much more roguish, sardonic man, whose raging eyes held dark secrets and hidden mysteries of a life she knew nothing about. A'awynn was both attracted to him and appalled by the tone he had used with her. The contact her hand made with his cheek, left whelps on his smooth skin and a resounding smack in the air.

The slap jerked Erik's head to the right. He closed his eyes in disgust and fire burned in his cheek; his fists were clenching spasmodically at his sides and he worked to calm his fury. He knew he was being unreasonable, but he seemed to have lost his good sense. Her caustic words echoed in his ears"I am not the enemy here Erik; don't treat me like I am some chronically brainless bimbo who has no idea of what you have been through." A'awynn stood with her hands on her hips; exasperated and livid, ready to take anything Erik threw her way.

A'awynn took deep breaths, trying to calm her frayed nerves. She watched as tears glistened in Erik's wounded eyes. It was at this time she remembered that he had never been touched lovingly by a woman other than his mother. All he knew of touch; was pain. Christine had used his love for her by betraying him with a kiss and touch, but he knew she did not harbor any true love for him and Lucy had been so devastated at the sight of him, that she had lost her life.

A'awynn covered her mouth with her hand and tears rolled down her flushed face. She reached for him with her other hand, wanting to assure him that she had not meant to hurt him, especially in such a manner. As her hand reached for his arm, he recoiled away from her as if she had burned him. He swept forcefully by her without a glance and headed for his corner of Berwithshire to lick his wounds.

**Chapter 31 Preview – Apologies**


	31. Chapter 31

A Place in This World

**THANK YOU MY LOVLIES FOR THE WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE…YES, THE LAST COUPLE OF CHAPTERS WERE MEANT TO RUFFLE YOUR FEATHERS, SO TO SPEAK, I HOPE TO MAKE UP FOR IT IN THE NEXT FEW…LOVE YA'LL…**

**I will continue to post the following warning from here on out, it may be modified on the chapters that it pertains to.**

_**There will be a few chapters coming up much later, that I would categorize as "M" on the rating chart. I will warn you as they are approaching. I did not think I could write these scenes, but I find that they flow quite easily. I am giving you fair warning. No one under 16 years of age should read them.**_

"Funny, we're speaking the same language, but you don't understand anything I'm saying." Gerard Butler as Andre Marek in "Timeline"

CHAPTER 31

Erik was fuming, but not because of A'awynn's firm slap; his behavior was deserving of that slap…and more. What had come over him? She had done nothing to deserve his sharp tone and distant attitude. He knew he would have to take the humble route and apologize in the morning, a gesture that Erik seldom offered.

He readied himself for bed, but first he decided to take a bath, a luxury he had begun to look forward to on a regular basis. What was he going to do about this latest development? He had no desire to enter into a marriage of convenience; but he saw no other alternative that would resolve the situation and keep peace in his family. Erik slipped gracefully down into the warm, sudsy water. The beautiful tub was long enough to accommodate his tall frame and deep enough to wade in.

He closed his eyes and tried with all his genius to come up with some other way. He knew his family would not go for the disappearing act, although Erik was very certain they would be better off without him. The problem was astronomical. No woman in her right mind would commit to him unless she was desperate for the money and prestige that came along with him, but his father insisted that she be titled and wealthy…why on earth would she need him in any way if she did not need his money or title?

The water had a relaxing affect on Erik's weary nerves and he began to drift in and out of consciousness. His mind mulled over the many faces of the woman he had danced with this night. They were all lovely; of course; compared to him, a troll would be lovely. Some were extremely young, an attribute Erik had decided to stay clear of, since Christine. Some were of questionable parentage, making Brianna and Alastair immediately concerned; and others were spoiled and spiteful.

And then, there was Lady A'awynn. Erik had not thought she could get any more beautiful, but her fury had set a fire in those dancing, turquoise eyes and her willingness to stand up to him showed a strength that Erik found very intriguing. She was definitely out of the question…he new that a marriage to her, of any sort, would be too dangerous! She aroused feelings and thoughts in him that he found very difficult to ignore; and seeing her every day, and not being able to have her would drive him completely insane. Besides, he doubted she would ever talk to him again.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

A'awynn wrapped her arms around her knees as she sat in the middle of her bed and wept until tears would not come anymore. She had changed into her frilly sleeping gown and had slipped her equally frilly nightdress over the top of it. Her heart ached for Erik, knowing that she had added insult to injury where his experience with women was concerned.

A'awynn had a volatile temper when she was provoked, and Erik treating her as if she was a simpleton had just about pulled her last nerve; but she had never meant to hurt him. She knew it wasn't that her slap had particularly hurt him, he was a strong man; but his already jaded opinion of women had not needed another jolt in the "women-will-never-find-me-to-be-anything-but-a-monster" category.

That was it; she was going to Erik's room and apologizing. This time, she would make him listen. She slid her long, slender feet into her slippers and quietly headed down the hall toward his wing. It really was a beautiful part of Berwithshire, and Erik kept it spotless.

His entrance door was not locked, as was no ones, and A'awynn walked into his masculine quarters. Everything in the rooms embodied the man who had taken up residence. He had immediately done some remodeling, making the west wing more to his tastes. His scent was everywhere; spices and leather, exotic plant extracts and musk. She enjoyed his essence and he wasn't even near her.

A'awynn saw no sign of the man himself. Her stomach was turning knots; from nerves or excitement, she could not say. She knew that her attraction to him was spontaneous and obviously explosive. She had seen a difference side of him tonight; a side that Kaitlyn had not known about, but one that was entirely expected. He had been through hell in his life; and she had slapped him for showing a glimpse of the mark that that hell had left on him. She should be ashamed of herself. Her Irish temper worked overtime on occasion, and it had been the source of many arguments between her and the men in her life.

She was her mother's daughter. She and Fionola Shaunessy were carbon copies of each other; looks, personality, characteristics, moral standings…everything. They had clashed on everything, because neither wanted to submit to the other. Stubborn as a mule, bull-headed, head-strong, strong-willed…all of these things had been descriptions her father had used when talking about the love his life, Fionola; and the apple of his eye, A'awynn.

When they had both died in a freak accident at sea, A'awynn had been devastated. She was 14 and had no one. She went to stay with the dear friends of her parents and two people who were like her aunt and uncle, Lord and Lady Lauchlan. Her Uncle Uriel had tried to step in and manage her affairs, but A'awynn had been raised to think for herself and be her own woman, in every aspect of life.

The estate her family had was vast, but her father had failed to think ahead pertaining to its care. A'awynn had lost it and the substantial holdings that came with it to the English Monarchy. They claimed her father owed immense debt and taxes that he had failed to take care of before his untimely demise.

At 19, she was given in marriage to Lord James Yancey, a man over forty years her senior; her Uncle Uriel had thought it a smart match. Despite their non-existent sex life, A'awynn had been a good wife and James had doted on her. His untimely, though expected, death four years later had left her a titled, wealthy woman with the means to pursue anything and anyone she wanted. She no longer had to live under the restraining eyes of society or abide by every ridiculous rule that was laid out…she was her own woman.

A'awynn once again debated over her immediate and intense attraction to Erik. He was his mother's son. Brianna and Fionola had been the best of friends; inseparable for the greater part of their young adult lives. Perhaps it was destiny, or the voice of her mother in her head; but A'awynn knew at that moment what she had to do. She searched the outer rooms for Erik's tall, well-shaped, manly figure, but she did not find it. She tiptoed over to the bedroom and peered inside. There was no one visible, but she found his discarded clothes on the bed, folded neatly. She picked up his shirt and put it to her face, taking in his masculine smell; a smell that was all Erik. She rubbed the fine material against her cheek and a sweet sensation filtered through her body.

She heard the slightest, muffled sound coming from the washroom. A'awynn quietly approached the slightly cracked door and peered into the dimly lit room. Erik's slumbering figure was draped in the bathtub. The suds were fading with the passing of time, but the room was pleasantly warm, so the water must still be fairly comfortable.

His light snore was really just a quiet, throaty sound that was quite endearing. As if of their own accord, her legs carried her closer to the sleeping beauty that was Erik. She had not noticed just how low the suds had gone until she reached the edge of the tub. Her eyes were glued to the sublime sight before her.

Had she ever seen such a masterfully carved chest before? She did not think so. The dark hairs were teasing her as she watched them creep down his magnificent chest toward his tight, shapely abdominal muscles. Her roving eyes rested on the line of suds that formed a barrier between her admiring examination of his chest and abdomen and the hidden secrets beneath the suds. Oh yes, she could do with seeing this man every moment of every day for the rest of her life.

His hair was wet but charmingly unruly. It waved in every direction and framed his gorgeous face. He did not have one gray hair and the water just succeeded in making it a deeper shade of black. Everything about his man screamed sex appeal; and he had no idea of the powerful attraction she felt for him.

She noticed a chair sitting in the corner of the large washroom, so she picked it up and moved it closer to the tub. If he was going to sleep in the bathtub, then she was just going to have to wait for him to wake up so she could apologize to him. She had a feeling that the vulnerable state he was in would make him more apt to accept her apology. She sat down next to the tub; again giving an admiring sweep of his body and waited.

OOOOOOOOO

Erik had no idea how long he had been asleep in the tub, he only knew that the water was getting cold and he had been granted some of the best sleep he had ever had. He pulled his hazy eyes open, rubbing them for effect and braced his hands on the side of the tub, poised to rise up out of the water.

It was about this time, that he caught a movement out of the side of his eye and heard a very feminine voice give a quiet word of warning, "If you do not wish to grant me a private showing, which I am not entirely opposed to, you may want to stay put." Erik's surprised, confused eyes centered on A'awynn's puckish grin as he settled back into the tepid water. Her grin turned slightly downward, leaving Erik with the impression that she was disappointed about something.

He contemplated what his words should be, for the last encounter he'd had with this fascinating woman had resulted in a slap across his face. He did not wish to offend or insult her anymore, but he could not for the life of him figure out why she was perched on a chair in the middle of his washroom, eyeing him like he was a morsel of tasty food just ready for her to devour.

"Would you be so kind as to hand me a towel, and then avert your eyes so that I can avoid turning into a shriveled up prune?" His tone was steady, but a hint of irritation was still present. He was not going to play games with this tempting woman; she was far too dangerous to his frame of mind for that. Her ploy on his money and title earlier had put a sour taste in his mouth, but he could not help the pull she had on him.

He knew nothing about her really, he had overheard a few hushed conversations throughout the evening, but nothing confirming or revealing. She was a widow; that much he knew. She had the most darling daughter, apparently not a product of her marriage, as the women he had overheard made a point of making clear. Erik found that fact intriguing; so what, that was of not consequence. She was a grown woman and could do what she wished. Why did everyone always have to judge? They draw conclusions and make decisions based solely on their sick desire to be privy to everyone's private lives.

Hopefully, little Lacey was the product of a great love. He preferred to think that children were conceived out of a love that surpassed understanding; a love that was unselfish and patient. The kind of love his parents have. The kind of love he had always dreamed of having, but now knew it would never be. He must choose a bride based entirely on one dance and a few short moments of conversation. If love were to have ever been his for the taking, he knew that he would have had to nurture and condition it for months, maybe years before a woman would be willing to allow him to even think about courting her, let alone marry her.

A'awynn cocked her head to the left and debated whether she should yield to his request. He sure did look delightful in that tub, especially since the subs were just about to reveal every toned inch of him. However, respectability and modesty won out and she turned and retrieved a towel from the shelf and laid it on the chair; she scooted the chair closer to him and turned around.

Erik took this to be her attempt at "averting" her eyes, so in one fluid, graceful, quick movement, he pulled himself up out of the tub; ran the towel through his hair, rubbed down his body and wrapped the towel around his waist, making sure it was secure before he told her she could turn around.

He stood there like Adonis himself and skeptically stared at her with his muscular arms crossed. "I don't mean to sound…perturbed or anything; but, why are you in my washroom?" Erik lifted his chin slightly, not wanting to appear angry. "I got the impression from our last encounter that you were not particularly tolerant of me…which does not surprise me…but your presence her completely baffles me."

A'awynn dropped her eyes to the floor to avoid devouring him with her hungry eyes. She spoke very quietly, "I came to apologize for my unnecessary behavior earlier; I let my temper get the best of me…again."

Erik was puzzled, why would she apologize to him? He deserved every act of pain and humiliation that was on him; hers was no different.

"Would you excuse me for a moment? I need to put some clothes on and we can talk…you have nothing to apologize for," he assured her. He escorted her into the main living room and seated her in front of the large, ornate fireplace. He gave a slight bow and exited into his bedchamber.

A'awynn had a wonderful viewpoint, as his very shapely backside disappeared into his room. **(How can he look at that body every day and not see how downright gorgeous he is?)** He was so…male. He had muscular arms, not too muscular…but perfect. He had tight pectoral muscles that flexed when he moved and washboard abdominal muscles; making his chest look like a master artisan had carved it out of granite. It was perfectly covered with fine black hairs that made her want to rest her head on them. His legs were long and masculine; hair covered them, but not grossly; and the power they possessed was evident in every step he took. A'awynn was suddenly very warm.

He was still titillated over her presence as he donned his green silk sleeping pants and his matching silk, floor-length robe. He tied the robe loosely, not wanting to offend her with his half-dressed body. He slipped his long, slender feet into his slippers and left the room.

As he came back into view, A'awynn could not take her eyes off him. She had thought he could not look any better than he did in the beautifully tailored suit that he wore earlier; but she was wrong. The man was pure sensuality in every move he made. The silk pants and robe adorned his tall, slender form and made him look like a sexual master about to give his tutelage to a very willing, very ready partner.

Erik was entirely unaware of her thoughts as he sat down beside her on the divan and crossed his long legs. "As I was saying, you have nothing to apologize for." Erik did not make eye contact, "I am a pompous fool most of the time and deserve everything I get."

Erik was silent for just a moment, and finally looked at her, "It is I who should be begging for your forgiveness…tonight's events did not bode well with me and I tend to resort back..."Erik turned shamed eyes from her, "Old habits die hard…please forgive me…I would never intentionally hurt a woman or child."

Erik smiled faintly, hoping that she understood his outburst. A'awynn reached over and tentatively took his hand in hers. His back went rigid and his hand habitually started to jerk away; he steadied the panic in his chest and forcefully kept his hand in place.

A'awynn noticed the battle going on and absently rubbed her thumb over the dark hairs on his knuckles. "Erik, let me help you. I know that we do not know each other very well, but I have known of you for almost my entire life; I feel as if I can be your answer..." Erik's perplexing eyes and creased brow told her that he had no idea what she was talking about. "I offer my hand to you in marriage."

There, she had said it. It was out in the open and he had to make the next move. She held his eyes in a steady gaze, hoping to read some sort of reaction in their deep, green pools.

A rush of excitement raced through Erik's body, he willed it to stop. "Coming as the lamb to the slaughter, so to speak…"Erik's voice was barely above a whisper; he was talking more to himself than to her. His incredulous eyes studied her, noticing that she did not regard him with pity, only concern.

In all the possible scenarios that Erik had imagined, he had not seen this coming. "Are you in dire straights; such that marriage to me would financially help you and your family?" Erik had not meant for that to come out as sharply as it had. He was not good at making small talk, especially with women.

A'awynn should have been insulted by his question; instead, she knew that he was not familiar with her status; he only knew the basics about her. "My family is all dead, except for distant cousins and my Uncle Uriel. I am a wealthy woman in my own right, my late husband saw to that. I am titled, 29 years old and come from the best Irish-born stock that there is."

Erik questioned again, "Then why?" Erik shrugged his shoulders and pleaded with her, "I have nothing to offer a woman like you." Erik once again bowed his head, as if accepting defeat. "This would be a marriage in name only, of that you can be assured. I do not intend to subject a woman to my loathsome touch and she will not have to tolerate my presence for an extended period of time." Erik stared intently at her, hoping she would see the absurdity of it, "I do not see a woman of your considerable beauty and means wanting anything to do with a beast like me."

A'awynn inwardly cringed at his use of adjectives concerning himself; she chose to ignore it for now, she would soon convince him that was no beast, or demon, or gargoyle, or living corpse…or any other horrific name he construed for himself. "It is the perfect solution Erik, why fight it?"

A'awynn's pragmatic approach to the situation had Erik befuddled. Women wanted marriages based on love and romance; she would be asking for none of that from him. Why would a woman who had everything going for her, bind herself to a living corpse?

Could he marry this woman and keep his heart out of it? She would, no doubt, have no trouble keeping her heart out of it, but him? He had thought he was attracted to Christine, but the power she had over him paled in comparison to the power this auburn-haired vixen exhibited over him. He melted every time her eyes meant his. He was not sure this was such a good idea.

"Why don't you get some rest, you are obviously quite tired. Maybe you will be thinking more clearly in the morning." Erik stood and walked to the door, opening it wide. A'awynn, not wanting to appear desperate, stood and walked to the door. "I am sure we can come up with another solution that will prevent you from giving yourself to a monster." He bowed slightly, carefully pushed her reluctant form through the door and closed it, not even giving her a chance to respond.

**Chapter 32 Preview – Acceptance and announcements**


	32. Chapter 32

A Place in This World

Ahaa, everyone is catching on to what I am doing with my characters. I do hope you are liking how I am getting them together, slow as it may be.

**There are a four more chapters to post before we have to worry about he following warning.**

_There will be a few chapters coming up that I would categorize as MATURE in content. NO ONE UNDER 16 SHOULD READ THEM UNLESS THEY HAVE PARENTAL PERMISSION_

"**I am charming." Gerard Butler as Terry Sheridan in "Lara Croft: The Cradle of Life."**

CHAPTER 32

Erik lay wide awake in his bed, trying to come up with a reason why Lady A'awynn Yancey would offer her life in such a way. She certainly did not need his money or title, so why? Maybe she was indebted to his family in some way and she considered marriage to him payment in full. It did not really matter in the long run, she would not have to endure the marriage for long; he would see to that.

There really was no other alternative, Erik had no other prospects and her logic could not be denied. If she was still willing in the morning, he would accept her offer, he would just have to make sure his heart did not get involved. She had a very compelling pull on him and he knew it would be excruciating to be near her every day, but it was not something in which he had a great deal of choice. He had spent years ignoring the call of his body, he would just have to continue to do so.

To accommodate her at Carwell, he would only use the one room he chose for his own. He would teach Lacey the piano in the music room, but other than that, he would stick to himself. There were other things he would make clear when the time was necessary. Now, if the complication of Christine could be avoided, he might find some semblance of peace in the world.

OOOOOOOOOOO

A'awynn was lying in her own bed, floating in an out of dreamland, with Erik on her mind. Why did he seem so sure that she was not entirely in control of her wits when she offered to marry him? He acted as if she was doing this out of pity for him or out of her loyalty toward his family.

All she knew was that the first time she laid eyes on him, he had her; she never had a chance. He came into her life riding bareback on a horse and captured her heart. The biggest challenge she was going to face was convincing Erik of his own worthiness and appeal. Of course, once she got the man to accept that, the possibilities were endless!

A'awynn knew that being married to Erik would be an interesting journey, one she was willing to undertake. She was undoubtedly attracted to him, an attraction that was growing stronger every time she was around him. She also knew that he was going to be a wonderful father to Lacey; a thought that enticed a strong yearning in the depths of A'awynn's womb. Having babies with Erik would be a wonderful thing.

His constant self-degrading words were going to annoy her to no end and his sudden mood changes would take some getting used to, but A'awynn knew in her heart that Erik was worth it; now, if she could just convince him of that.

OOOOOOOOOOO

The following day found the entire family in Berwithshire Chapel. This was a new aspect in Erik's life, but one he had openly accepted and secretly longed for. He found a comforting peace in the sanctuary of the chapel that had always eluded him. He found he felt closer to the God he had forsaken for so many years when he was riding Nucis in the beauty of the Scottish hills and in the peace and tranquility of the chapel; maybe there was a chance for a monster like him to spend eternity in heaven.

The vicar remembered Erik from years ago, and commented on how handsome he had grown. The service went along without a hitch, and Erik had managed to avoid any contact with A'awynn, he was still not completely certain that she had fully thought through her offer to marry him. It was best to keep his distance.

On the way down the steps of the church, a very small, extremely inquisitive person was tugging on Erik's pant leg. Lacey looked up into the eyes of the man she had grown very close to in just a few short hours. She took his large, warm, sheltering hand and pulled on it, indicating for him to come down to her level.

Instead, Erik picked her up and carried her in his strong arms. This movement made her beam from ear to ear. Lacey cupped her hands and put them over Erik's ear; her whisper tickled his ear and sent a strange sensation down his spine, "Are we going to start my piano lessons soon? I want to play just like you some day. Where did you learn to play like that?"

Erik smiled at this darling girl, "Well Lacey, I taught myself how to play and read music. I also play the organ, violin and saxophone."

Lacey looked at him with admiration in her eyes, "Do you think I will ever be able to play all those things?"

Erik laughed, the authenticity of it reaching his eyes. He found he hand immense patience with children, something he never knew about himself. "You can do anything you put your mind to lacey, never think you can't…and we will start your lessons next week on Wednesday, alright?" Lacey shook her head vigorously and hugged his neck.

He raised his eyes to see A'awynn drawing near. Erik swallowed hard; she certainly was a vision this morning. He cloaked his eyes, and spoke evenly, "I hope you accepted my apology for my behavior last night." Erik shamefully dropped his eyes, "I am not accustomed to being around women, especially when my personal life is on display for all to see…again, please accept my apology."

A'awynn smiled and shook her head, still enjoying visions of him in the tub. "We are both to blame my lord. I hope you have accepted my apology too."

Erik dipped his head, letting her know that he had. When he raised his eyes to hers, they had taken on a playful glint, "And please stop calling me 'my lord', I am going to get visions of grandeur…my name is Erik." Her soft giggle made his heart dance in this chest.

She looked like an angel that was on furlough from heaven. She wore a white, chiffon dress with lace draping on the skirt and at the tops of the arms. Her camisole was white lined in pink and she wore dainty white gloves that left her slender, shapely arms revealed from the shoulders down. The neckline was modestly cut, with a string of white pearls lying flirtatiously on the swell of her bosom. Erik imagined what lay beneath all the prim and proper packaging, chiding himself for having such thoughts, especially on church property. **(Careful, your resolve is slipping old man…before you know it, she will have you lapping at her feet like a faithful dog begging for a bone.) **Erik's self-chiding remarks caused his stern façade to return and his spine to stiffen.

For reasons that eluded him, Erik offered to take them both in this carriage and of course, they both readily agreed. Lacey had never seen a carriage that looked like Erik's; she compared it to riding in the queen's carriage, which she was certain was not as elaborate as this one. Erik took A'awynn's slender, long fingered hand and helped her into the carriage; catching a glimpse of a slender ankle as she lifted her skirt to enter the carriage.

The ride back to the castle was not a long one, but Lacey managed to drift off to sleep. Erik could not remember having a better view as he sat across from A'awynn. She was quite possibly, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Christine was lovely, there was no doubt about that; but A'awynn made her pale in comparison. Christine was a child with a child's mind; A'awynn was a worldly, mature, altogether vivacious woman who knew what she wanted in life. He not only thought her gorgeous, but he admired her as well.

"May I ask you a personal question?"Erik inquired. A'awynn smiled and nodded, letting him know that he could ask her anything he pleased. "I have deduced that Lacey is not the product of your marriage to Lord Yancey…"Erik's eyes took a concerned, thoughtful glow; but an underlying glint of hatred for this unknown man flared in their green orbs, "…why did her father abandon you? How could any man who was blessed to have you in his arms and then have a beautiful daughter born to him, just leave you both?"

Love, unhindered and fully warranted, surged in A'awynn's heart for this wonderful man. In just two days, he had won her love, not just her heart. She would build a life with him and spend the rest of her life making him feel all the love he was robbed of as a child. "Lacey was a gift from God Erik. My relationship with James was such that children were out of the question…we awkwardly consummated our marriage on time, not long after we were married."A'awynn looked down in embarrassment and shame, "I did not love him as a husband, and bonding with him was not pleasant; he was more of a fatherly figure. We were happy in a friendly way, there was just no passion."

She looked up and earnestly stared into Erik's beautiful green eyes, praying that her love for him radiated into him. "After he died, I carried on some of his charity work, especially at the Irish orphanage he founded over fifty years ago…I did some traveling for a couple of years and then I found myself back at the orphanage. I committed myself to service there for two years.

"I felt completely alone in the world. My parents had passed away twelve years before; I had no brothers or sisters; the only living relative I had was my Uncle Uriel, and he was no help."A'awynn shook her head and lowered her eyes, "When I arrived in the small town where the orphanage is located, there was an immediate call to help a family whose house was on fire…I answered the call…Lacey's real mother, father and older sister perished in that fire."A'awynn began to cry, "She does not know that she is not my birth daughter, and she never will…the only reminder of that horrible day are the scars on her back caused by the intense heat that she endured while waiting to be rescued…she thinks she was born with them…they will never go away."

A'awynn regarded the man in front of her. His eyes reflected such immense compassion and the hint of tears was evident in their depths. Never once did he pass judgment on her when he thought she had birthed Lacey out of wedlock. Never once did sarcasm drip from his words or discrimination rise in his eyes. "Thank you Erik, for not jumping to conclusions and judging me or Lacey before you knew the truth…you will make a great father someday."

Erik smiled gently while reflecting on her words, "'Judge not lest you be judged,' that is what the Book says; and believe me, I have no desire to stand before my Maker and be judged for anything other than my own shortcomings. I sure don't need to have to answer for thinking myself capable or worthy of judging another, when I can't even keep myself in line…as for being a father; that will never be." He dropped his eyes, tears brewing in their emerald depths; he had no way of knowing that the woman across from him had already envisioned the beautiful children she would have with Erik.

His thoughts drifted back to their conversation from last night. Erik did not know how to accept defeat, but he knew that he had to consent to A'awynn's proposal. It would save a lot of time and there would never be a better offer, for A'awynn was everything he had ever wanted and admired in a woman. If nothing else, he would have the joy of calling her his wife, even if it were just in name; and only until death did them part.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

A'awynn's eyes took on a conquering glint as she steadied them on Erik. He had no alternative to her offer, and he had no choice but accept it; and he knew this. She also knew that he would not acknowledge this without a fight. He was embarrassed at even needing to resort to marriage in this manner, for she was certain he felt she was repulsed by him. She had reactions to being near him, that was for sure; but they definitely were not feelings of repulsion.

He glanced at her and lifted his chin, knowing she was waiting for him to open the subject of marriage. He was unable to do so, as the carriage approached Berwithshire castle. They came to a halt stepped out of the confining space of the carriage. Erik gently uploaded Lacey's slumbering figure into his arms and smiled as she stirred, placing her small, delicate face in the silkiness of his shirt.

For some reason, that innocent gesture brought tears to his eyes.** (God, just grant me sweet moments like this on occasion during this farce of a marriage and I will die a happy man, You have been gracious to allow me what You have.)** Erik's eyes were closed in his silent prayer, but he paused to give a secret look at the woman who walked a few steps in front of him. **(Lord, if it is anywhere in Your great scheme of things, please allow her to not fear me or maybe even like me; but I know I do not deserve the least of that which You have given me.)**

Erik followed A'awynn into her suite and gently placed Lacey on her canopy bed, enfolding her in the cool sheets. He had to fight the urge to place a kiss upon her sweet forehead and moved begrudgingly away from her still sleeping figure. He turned to A'awynn and whispered, "Is this normal for a child…"He looked at Lacey with concern in his eyes, "…to sleep like this in the middle of the day?"

A'awynn gently assured him with a smile, "She is fine. With last night's excitement and then getting up early this morning…she is just tired."They walked out together and gently shut the door. Erik walked on ahead of her, headed for the door of her suite, not even assuming that she would want him to stay. Her soft voice brought his retreating form to a stop. "Erik, please stay, we need to talk."

Erik's back stiffened. He had no desire to torture himself any further by staying in her presence. He turned slowly toward her, "A'awynn…" his eyes were pleading and questioning at the same time.

A'awynn approached him, never letting her eyes leave his. She boldly put her hand on his chest and felt him stiffen slightly under her hand, "I assure you Erik…I do not fear you nor do I bite."

Hearing this quick answer to his earlier prayer, gave Erik a bit of a shock. **(Maybe, my dear Lady, it is I who fear you? You have no idea how fragile the heart is that you hold in your grasp. I think myself this strong and fearless man; when in reality, one turn of your eyes to mine reduces me to putty in your hands.)**

The sweet sound of her voice drew his focus, "Don't avoid the issue Erik, we need to come to a logical conclusion." She had the sensible tone back and Erik knew that she meant business. All he wanted was to get away from her enthralling presence. Erik took her soft, silky hand in his and when he did not feel her try to pull away, he examined it as though he was surprised it was still beautiful after having touched him.

"I have no choice but accept your offer…"Erik did not make eye contact; if he had, he would have seen the exquisite smile that graced her face. Erik kept his head bowed as he made her promises that he fully intended to keep. His voice was strained with regret, "…I make you this promise…I will not touch you or expect any husbandly duties to be served me. I will keep to myself at Carwell, staying only in the room that I choose and the music room when giving Lacey her lessons, if you still with me to do that…I will see to it that all yours and Lacey's needs are meant, you need only ask."

Erik finally looked at A'awynn with distant, painful eyes. He knew this whole thing was unavoidable, but that did not make it any easier to accept. "Do not let this interfere in your life, I will not get in the way of your dreams and ambitions." He stared into her eyes as he candidly expressed the thoughts that had paraded through his mind while he had tried to sleep, "I know that you have needs…physically…"

Not knowing how to say what he was thinking, he looked away from her, choosing to focus on the feminine decor that freshened the room, "…a woman of your considerable beauty should not have to go without physical pleasure simply because her husband is a repulsive monster whose touch sickens her."

Every word he spoke was filled with malice and loathing, directed only on himself. A'awynn could not even speak, his self-hatred caused her such pain – it was so unnecessary; but his next phrase made her heart stop. "You may, of course, take a lover." This time, he did look at her, but the agony in his voice and eyes was palpable.

A'awynn just stood in stunned silence; tears running down her face and her body shaking from the force of her emotions. Erik misread her tears, thinking they were tears of relief, "I see that you are relieved…all I ask is that you not bring him here and…take precautions…other than that, I ask nothing of you." Silently turning from her, Erik left the room; not even considering that she would have anything to say.

It took a few minutes for A'awynn to realize that he had actually left the room. She was stunned at the audacity of his words; and he firmly believed them to be true! How dare he! How could he stand there, looking into her eyes and think that she would be capable of doing that to him? Not only that, but he wanted her to live as though he did not exist once they were married. No woman could do that!

She summoned Bree to keep and eye on Lacey and went in pursuit of Erik. She was angry; angry at a world that had done this to Erik and angry at him for believing them. She had a few things to tell him too, but there were more important things that she had to show him.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Erik found his mother and father in the common room, sharing a pot of coffee and an apple Danish. He came to them and sat down beside his mother. Alastair watched him fidget, knowing that he had something to say, "Erik, are you ready to discuss the situation? Every minute we spend avoiding the subject, brings the deadline that much closer." Alastair did not wait for an answer, as he assumed he would not get one. "Your mother and I had assembled a list of eligible young ladies; from this list, we will choose your bride."

Alastair began to list each name and Erik raised his hand to silence him. His voice was tinged with sadness, "There is no need, Lady A'awynn has offered to marry me, and an agreement has been reached." Erik kept his head tilted down, but lifted his eyes to examine the reactions of his parents.

Brianna was the first to speak, "A'awynn is perfect. She is of the perfect family, perfect age; she is wealthy and titled, extremely beautiful…the children will be gorgeous!

Erik jerked his head up at that statement, "There will be no children mother, I will name Lacey as my heir; that way, A'awynn need not endure my touch."

Erik had expected a belligerent attitude from Brianna concerning this, but she seemed to have a knowing smile on her face, one that left Erik questioning what she was thinking, Brianna watched as A'awynn entered the room with a flush of anger in her cheeks and a very determined look on her face.

She leaned in and said in a low tone, so that only Erik could hear, "What happens, my dear boy, when she wants your touch?"

Erik grunted his response, certain that particular situation would never happen. He was leaning in to respond to Brianna as A'awynn came up on his left side. "That will not be mother; you and I both know it…" Erik sat bolt upright and addressed of his both parents, as well as A'awynn. "Terms have been agreed upon, we see no reason to stall the wedding."

A'awynn lifted a perfectly carved eyebrow and turned exasperated eyes to Brianna. They shared a brief smile that held knowledge of secrets that Erik and Alastair could not even begin to fathom.

Erik looked at A'awynn and saw the fire in her eyes. Her shoulders were straight and her mouth was held in a firm, stubborn position. He had done it know. If only he knew what he had done that had raised her ire. Erik cringed at the thought.

**Chapter 33 Preview – A'awynn makes a crack in the wall around Erik's heart**


	33. Chapter 33

A Place in This World

Yes, he has once again gotten her ire up, but A'awynn is in control. Thank you for the comments, bear with me over the next week or so, until my life regains some normalcy.

_There will be a few chapters coming up that I would categorize as MATURE in content. NO ONE UNDER 16 SHOULD READ THEM UNLESS THEY HAVE PARENTAL PERMISSION_

"**A toad madam? Perhaps it is you who are the toad," Gerry Butler as Erik in _Phantom of the Opera._**

CHAPTER 33

A'awynn stubbornly stared down at Erik as he sat there, making himself out to be the least desirable man on earth. She was shooting arrows at him with her eyes; that Irish temper flaring up again; she didn't know whether to throttle him or kiss him. She braced herself for an all out battle of the wills; a battle she fully intended to win.

She tried to keep the fire out of her voice, but the words came out with fury. "How dare you!" She stood her ground tenaciously, "How dare you just assume that the 'terms' you so eloquently stated are acceptable to me!"

The look on Erik's face was one of dejection and shock. He hung his head, unsure of what he could do to remedy the situation.

Alastair and Brianna gave each other tortured looks and decided there was no time like the present to make their exit. Erik lifted pained, pleading eyes to them as they left. Brianna smiled at him with comforting eyes that held hidden understanding; Erik had never felt so completely abandoned.

A'awynn was thankful that they had left, this allowed her to have Erik's complete and total attention. When she looked back at him, his eyes were stricken and defeated. Unaware that he had completely misread her anger, she watched as lonely tears formed in the corners of his stormy eyes and crept down his face.

His voice was distant and whispered, "A'awynn…I have nothing more I can give you for your unselfish sacrifice. I will never be able to repay you for giving my family back their heritage…all I offer is my unending gratitude…" His words struck her like a blunt object, "…please believe me when I say that you will not have to be bound to me for long…just until this issue is settled and my family is safe."

He dropped his weary eyes and looked out the window, dismissing the issue. Erik's heart was broken as he once again clarified his intent to take his life.

A'awynn could not move as she realized he had mistaken her anger. He actually thought she was expecting more from him; more than his precious life. He took her anger to mean she was appalled at his pittance of an offer for her sacrifice.

The same heartbreak that had gripped him after Christine had left him. He spoke through the lump in his throat, "I will name Lacey as my heir…and all that was mine, will be yours…I can think of nothing else that I have that I could give you."

The words he spoke cut through A'awynn's heart like a sword; tears rolled down her face. He believed with all his heart that she was going into this marriage with no attachment to him at all; he believed she did not care if he ended his life.

Erik leaned forward and dropped his head, massaging his temples as a massive headache threatened to consume him. The emotional roller coaster he had been on over the past couple of days was taking its toll on his frame of mind. The sooner this was all over with, the better.

A'awynn turned her tearstained face to the window and stood there with shaking shoulders as pain wracked her slender frame. She finally spoke with a strained voice as she turned beseeching eyes to him"Erik, if there ever was a time for you to listen to me, now is that time."

She came to him and knelt down in front of him. She grasped his musicians hand in hers before he could pull it away and brought it to her cheek; rubbing its masculine beauty against her smooth skin.

He sat incredulously still, completely riveted. She was willingly touching him. Why would she do that? He could not help the pure joy that shot through his body at the feel of flesh against flesh. She had his attention that was for sure.

She continued to hold his hand as she spoke, "I am angry, yes…but not for the reasons you have deduce." She smiled a sad smile and caressed his perfect cheek. "I am angry at a world that has condoned its treatment of you and brainwashed you into thinking that you are less than desirable…I was angry at you for believing that what the world told you was true."

A'awynn searched his eyes for any flicker of emotion, all she saw was a questioning stare, "Do not think that I am asking any more of you…there are things that you do not understand right now Erik…but you will…things I cannot tell you because you have heard it all before; all I can do is show you." She smiled a sweet, unassuming smile. "Despite your exceptional intelligence, you have no idea how to interact with people…and women…we are the most difficult to understand." She winked at him, noticing with pleasure that he turned slightly red from her attention"I will do my best to explain my sudden outbursts, should I get riled up again."

She laughed daintily, rubbing the surface of his hand with hers, but as she looked at him, her eyes were serious and her tone direct, "I know that you have experienced physical and mental anguish at the whim of women who cared little about you or your feelings…" She saw him reach up and once again massage his temples as a flash of pain swept across his eyes. "…but I assure you, Erik; I will never hurt you intentionally…I care too much about you to do that."

Erik glared at her through the pain that shot through his head. Did she just say that she cared about him? He laughed at that, knowing that he had misheard her; but the firm hand on his chin that lifted his eyes to hers, indicated that he had indeed heard her correctly. "Don't do that Erik…don't doubt my words…" her eyes were steady and her face held no hidden agenda, "…I am not now, nor have I ever been, a liar…I will not play games with your heart."

She indicated for him to sit down, really not registering when it was that he had stood up. Erik did so, without question and continued to work the aching muscles in his head. A'awynn slipped behind him and gently gripped his head in her strong, feminine hands. Erik's back went rigid, not knowing what it was she was doing. She coaxed his head down, placing his chin in his chest and ran her thumbs up the back of his neck to condition the muscles. Her fingers lingered in the softness of his hair and she could smell the heavenly scent that was Erik emanating from its thick folds.

"Erik, you have such wonderful hair…I could spend hours just running my hands though it." Erik was not sure if he could stand that, being as just the few short moments her hands had wandered into his hair left him completely undone. She continued rubbing his neck and then massaged his entire head between her hands, working her way toward the temples that throbbed excruciatingly.

Erik had never felt this way before. He felt…normal under the ministrations of her hands. He felt like he could actually call her friend and she would not go running from him in sheer terror. "A'awynn, do you think it is possible that I could enter into this farce of a marriage actually calling you a friend?"

A'awynn stood behind him and smiled through unshed tears, "Erik, that is the least you can call me."

She felt him relax under her hands, if only slightly. His words were hushed and emotionally charged, "Thank you…if you were doing nothing else for me…that would be enough." Those words made her want to take him in her arms and show him exactly what he meant to her, but she must take this slow, or he would be immediately on guard.

Their peace and quiet was interrupted by the jubilated squeals of Lacey as she came bounding through the doors with Alastair and Brianna in her wake. She completely swept past A'awynn and jumped, unhindered, into Erik's lap. She hugged his solid frame as though she would never let him go. Although in complete shock, Erik embraced her tiny body, not understanding where this affection for him was coming from. "Mammy Brianna told me that you and mama are going to be married…I think that is the bestest news that I have ever heard!"

Erik had not counted on this; Lacey's attachment to him was an added complication to an already unsettling situation. Her next phrase sealed his doom, "Now I will have a mama AND a papa!" She squealed again and placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek, "And not only will I have a papa…but he is the mostest handsomest papa of all!" She wrapped her tiny arms around Erik's neck and squeezed, letting him know that she was very pleased with the arrangements. Erik smiled at her, falling victim to her contagious elation.

He looked at A'awynn and gave a gentle curve to his lips, jesting with the child, "Our first order of business will be to get this girl a set of spectacles, she obviously cannot see very well!"

Surely he was setting himself up for a giant leap off of a short precipice. How was he going to keep from giving his true feelings away, if A'awynn and Lacey kept wrapping him around their little fingers more and more every day? When all hell broke loose, this was going to hurt worse than any of his past pains.

Lacey asked the only obvious question, "When is the wedding?" Lacey looked at Erik, Erik looked at A'awynn, A'awynn looked at Alastair, and Alastair looked at Brianna.

"Saturday at 4:00 p.m. in the gardens," was her dogged answer, "Oh, and Erik…Christine and Margarite will be here on Wednesday." Brianna lifted her eyebrow as she spoke, hoping that Erik would take the hint and explain to A'awynn about Christine; but of course, being a typical male…he hand no clue.

OOOOOOOOOO

They had all left the common room and Erik, Lacey and A'awynn were headed outdoors to watch the swans on the lake. A'awynn was exceptionally quiet until they got to the gazebo. A few of Erik's nieces and nephews were playing in the gardens, so Lacey ran off to play, leaving Erik and A'awynn alone.

Erik did not know what to make of the silence that hung over them. He got the uneasy feeling that something was expected of him, but he had no idea what it could be. He decided it would just be best to wait for her to speak.

After insuring that Lacey was safe and tended to, A'awynn sat down beside Erik. Her turquoise eyes held a glint of something with which Erik was unfamiliar She leaned into him, pushing her thigh up against his and placing her shoulder under his,"Erik, I want you know this…I love touching you and I will continue to do so at indiscriminate times…I find it to be a very pleasurable thing to do."

Erik tried desperately to escape the heady scent of her as she leaned in closer to him. He could not stop staring at her kissable, pouting mouth positioned not two inches from his. "There are so many reasons why I am eager to marry you Erik…and all of these will be revealed over the next few days."

Her breath caressed his cheeks as she spoke and Erik was lost in the sensation; he finally could resist no longer and relaxed against her, allowing her body to conform to his. It was a sweet, seductive game she was playing; one that Erik could never win…but every fiber in his body urged him to play.

He hesitantly chanced placing his hands on her arms; she took this to be an invitation to put her arms around him; and she was very happy to oblige. Her breath was a mere hairs length away from his ear as she nuzzled into his exotic smell. For a moment, he enjoyed the intimacy, until he felt his body reacting in a most inappropriate way.

He pulled back from her and stood, hoping to compose himself before things got worse. "A'awynn, this is a game I can not win…why would you tease a starving man with delicacies that are not within his grasp?"

A'awynn stood up and walked over to him; she took her right hand and slowly reached for his unblemished cheek. She had given him enough warning that it was coming, so he did not tense under her touch. His eyes were sensually suspended between heaven and earth as he surrendered to her touch, leaning into her hand. Her hypnotic voice permeated his stunned mind.

"I have some conditions of my own concerning our upcoming nuptials," A'awynn leaned into him again, enjoying the rush of power she had over his seductive, sexy man. "Tomorrow, meet me here at 1:00 p.m.; you are taking me into Glasgow for the day." She caressed his cheek and gave him the sweetest smile he had ever been blessed with; then she turned from him and headed toward the castle.

Erik had lost all control over his legs, and his mind was turning loops. He watched as she retreated, following her lithe form as it disappeared into the castle. She wanted to spend the entire afternoon with him? Had she lost complete control of her mind? Erik smirked at the ludicrous joy that entered his heart; if he wasn't careful, he could get used to having her around. Maybe she was just trying to make the best of a bad situation. Erik was certain this was the answer.

He stayed and watched the sun play hide and go seek with the hills and decided it was time to go inside. The women were undoubtedly making plans for the wedding while the household servants prepared for Christine's arrival. Erik thought it was rather interesting that he did not feel any of the regret and pain in his heart when he thought about Christine. In fact, when he tried to focus on her features; spun silk auburn tresses that were touched by golden highlights in the sun; frisky, turquoise eyes, a pert, freckle-laden nose; and sensuous, full lips was the image he got.

**Chapter 34 Preview – First Date**


	34. Chapter 34

A Place in This World

**I will but some of your minds to rest, Christine is coming back, but Erik will set her straight in a gentlemanly manner. His heart belongs to another. It is my belief that Erik and Christine will always share a bond that is stronger than just friendship and deeper than the bonds of family. If the time was ever right for them, I do feel that they could fall madly in love; but that is not this time.**

**Thank you my faithful reviewers. I am pleased that all of you seem to like A'awynn, she is everything I think Erik needs. **

**To those who read and don't review; if you are liking this story, please let me know; if you are only scanning it and are not committed to it; I would still like to know. Your advice and opinions can only make me better.**

**There are a couple more chapters to post before we have to worry about the following warning. There is mature situations in Chapter 35, but Chapter 36 is where is begins.**

_**There will be a couple of chapters, starting in chapter 36 that will have scenes with a mature rating. The coupling will not occur until Erik and A'awynn are married; for that is the way I believe. The mature scene coming up in chapter 36 is a solo act.**_

"Remember Frankie, we're all connected." Gerry Butler as The Stranger in _"Dear Frankie"_

CHAPTER 34

After leaving a very surprised Erik in the gazebo; A'awynn had been accosted by Brianna and Kaitlyn. They wanted to go over wedding plans with her. The women discussed colors and cakes, dresses and rings; everything.

A'awynn took a few minutes during this "girl talk" to bring up the subject of Christine. She had been dying to ask Erik, but had thought better of it. Brianna supplied all the necessary details.

"It would seem that the engagement is off and Christine is in need of a place to recoup." Brianna looked a bit perturbed, "I do not know this girl…all I know is that she hurt Erik in a way that would have only hurt him it he loved her…" Brianna hesitated, debating telling A'awynn about Erik's obsession.

"Brianna, I already know about his obsession with this girl… Kaitlyn told me a great deal right before I meant him…" A'awynn braced herself for answers that she was not sure she was ready to hear. "I need to know what happened after she left him."

Brianna told her of Erik's arrest for murder and rape, crimes for which he was exonerated. She told her of his death wish and of his five, almost successful, suicide attempts. Brianna told of his compassion for Michél and how he had supported Madam Giry and her daughter for years. She also mentioned how Erik had forgiven Raoul for the Christine incident and had actually given the couple the exorbitant funds needed to build a new opera house, pay personnel and expenses and all other operating costs.

A'awynn listened as the man she loved came into view. Despite his inhumane treatment by the human race for his entire life, he possessed one of the most compassionate hearts she had ever seen. His love of music and art, his complete innocent love for children and how they knew he was a special and good soul; these all made Erik a superior man, compared to any with whom A'awynn had shared company.

When Brianna finished, A'awynn turned and watched Erik go down the hall; he was not even aware of her eyes being on him. She projected such love through her eyes that Brianna and Kaitlyn both shared a moment of elation and then a moment of trepidation…Erik would not even know what hit him!

A'awynn turned back to Brianna and Kaitlyn with a challenging look in her eyes, "If Christine thinks that she is coming here to fall into Erik's open arms…she has another thing coming…his arms will be taken…by me…as well as the rest of him!"Her eyes sparkled with mischief as she removed herself from their company and headed for her suite, Lacey had long since gone to bed and A'awynn was quite tired herself. It had been a rather interesting day.

OOOOOOOOOOO

The next morning was filled with activity. The seamstress and her entourage had been summoned and measurements were taken for the wedding dress, bridesmaids dresses, mother of the groom and flower girl. This took three hours. The dresses were to be worked on twenty-four hours a day in order to have them ready by Saturday…and there was no room for mistakes.

The announcement was placed in the Glasgow paper and the House of Lords was officially informed, which of course, made cousin Edward Chisholm cringe. Special invitations were ordered and printed immediately for special guests to be requested. All in all; over 250 royals, commoners, merchants and such were invited to attend.

A'awynn loved every minute of it, for she was about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime; marriage to a man whose very presence made her palms sweat, made her heart beat erratically and made her dream about things she had not thought about for years. She excused herself from the busy schedule and prepared for her day with Erik.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Erik had spent all morning being measured for his wedding attire; and found that this particular "setting" did not bore him at all. In fact, he was rather excited about the whole process. His best man, Michél, had to be measured too as did groomsmen; Clancy, Arthur and Angus. The tailor had arrived this morning at 7:00 a.m., and it had been non-stop until 11:30.

He excused himself after the last measurement was taken and left to do what he could with himself to prepare for his day with A'awynn. He ordered his carriage to be at the gazebo by 1:00, ready to leave; he bathed and shaved, finding himself humming lightly while doing so. He decided on a black pair of pants, green suspenders, a black waist-length jacket with green lining, a white, long-sleeved shirt and a green cravat. He had no idea how breathtakingly handsome he looked.

He took one last assessing look at himself in the full-length mirror. He hated just about everything about himself, but he would have to get over that for now; A'awynn was waiting.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

A'awynn approached the gazebo and was completely in awe of the man before her. He was so delectable! Her heart leapt in her chest and a strange, tingling sensation ran throughout her entire body. He had not noticed her yet, so she could openly view his handsome features before he realized he was being admired.

Erik turned and watched, what he could only describe as, heaven on earth approach him. She had pulled her glorious hair back slightly from her face, leaving her slender neck exposed for his exploring eyes. She wore no make-up and she was slightly blushing; to Erik, there was not a more beautiful woman.

She wore a peach colored gown with pearl accents and an off the shoulders, diving neckline in which Erik could so easily get lost. Her slender arms were accented by white gloves and Erik could not catch his breath as she advanced on him.

Erik bowed as she came near him and placed a single, white with pink tint, orchid behind her left ear; as he did so, his fingers lightly lingered on her soft cheek…and lightening coursed though Erik's body. She blushed slightly and thanked him for the orchid, thinking what a romantic gesture that had been.

"Mademoiselle, where might my carriage take you this lovely afternoon?"His French accent was quite heavy at this moment, something she was not expecting. He had slipped into a Scottish brogue so easily, that she had forgotten he grew up in France. Just listening to the lilt of his melodious voice handle the beauty of the language made her want to leap into his arms and kiss him senseless.

"I do believe we have a set of rings to pick out, my lord." She put a great deal of emphasis on the word "my" making Erik laugh a full, sexy laugh. A'awynn looked forward to spending the rest of her life making that laugh an every day occurrence. Erik instructed the driver of their destination and climbed into the carriage with A'awynn.

Erik had not considered this particular part of the trip. He was not a very good conversationalist, and he was completely out of his element. He had taken a seat across from A'awynn and he caught her looking at him. Since it was obvious to her that he had no idea what she wanted of him, she glided over to him and sat down beside him.

"Erik, when a man and a woman are engaged, it is appropriate for the man to sit beside her and even show her affection." Those eyes were pulling him in and Erik was completely lost in their depths.

He looked down at her and swallowed hard, "I would never take such liberties…" he remembered her slap from the other night and the pain that had lingered, "…ours is not a true engagement…you should be marrying because you are in love…" A'awynn smiled a slightly sad smile and lifted Erik's arm over the top of her head.

She inched closer to him as he continued to lift his arm. He smelled so good and she felt so safe and sheltered. The man was completely intoxicating. His hand settled on her arm as she curved into his body as if she had been specifically designed to fit there. Erik felt the slight tickle of her hair on his neck as she nestled into him.

They sat in silence, gently jostled by the movement of the carriage. A'awynn felt as if she could stay in the loop of his neck and shoulder forever, it felt like home. She also knew that he was not ready to accept her love for him, at least not in vocal terms. She must pound away at his resolve action by action, deed by deed; until he has no choice but to accept her love.

Erik was experiencing a little glimpse of heaven. He had never had a woman willingly stay this close to him for any extended period of time. He marveled in the softness of her skin and the scent of her hair. He noticed how she fit perfectly in his arms; her female curves blending with his male form. How was he ever going to get through this night without losing his heart?

As Erik berated himself, he felt the carriage come to a stop. He calmed his racing heart and willed his body to subside its incessant reaction to her. He removed himself from the carriage and offered his hand for her to step down. She took it without hesitation and then looped her arm through his. The young couple, with love beaming from their entire beings, made their way into the jewelers to pick their wedding set.

The jeweler was beside himself to have the Earl of Berwithshire and his intended bride in his humble establishment to pick the rings. After looking at several sets, the only ring that A'awynn could not take her eyes off was a rare African diamond cut in the shape of a teardrop; it was a one of a kind. The wedding band was lined with sapphires, another of A'awynn's favorite gems. Erik did not even have to hear her ask, he saw the longing in her eyes and he bought the rings.

Erik' ring took up less time, as the choices were few. Most men did not wear wedding rings, but A'awynn insisted on it. She picked out a gold band with emeralds engraved into the ring. It was lovely. Erik instructed the jeweler to have them sized and ready to pick up on Friday, he would come and pick them up.

The rest of the day was spent touring the city. They ate at the finest restaurant in all of Scotland and Erik relaxed in her company. Her laugh implanted itself on his heart in such a way that without it, his heart would cease to beat. Erik's thoughts started going south about half way through the meal. He would spy her velvet tongue as it wet her lips between bites, seemingly flirting with him; and he felt like he had lost all reason.** (Be strong; chances are, she knows what she is doing and she will string your heart up and beat it into a bloody pulp) **Erik attempted to insult his heart into submission, but it was too late.

When had this night become about seduction? Erik left Berwithshire today with his heart intact and his soul untouched. This bewitching woman had made him forget that he wore a mask and had been known as The Phantom of the Opera; she made him forget that his heart had been broken and stomped on – twice; she made him forget Venice and Lucy and Paris and Christine. She made him forget everything and everyone…but her.

OOOOOOOOO

Erik and A'awynn finished their meal and took a short walk in the courtyard of the restaurant. They found a swing and decided to enjoy just a few more moments together before they headed back to Berwithshire. Erik sat down with his left arm skirting the back of the swing. A'awynn took her favorite spot; in the crook of his arm. She wrapped her left arm around Erik's waist and lifted her feet into the swing. To those passing, it looked like she was asleep in his arms, but she was very much aware of every aching inch of Erik's body as it pressed warmly and seductively against her.

Erik dare not move, for fear she would change her mind and get up. He was as close to heaven as he had ever been, and most likely, ever would be. He absently rubbed the upper part of her arm as she laid against him, leaving goose pimples in his wake. The evening air was cool and A'awynn shivered slightly. Erik felt her shiver and took his jacket off. He placed it around her shoulders and then stopped the swing. He took her hand in his and helped her from the swing.

They walked arm in arm to the carriage and headed home. Erik asked A'awynn about her life at the orphanage and all the other charity work she had done. She talked about her mom and dad and every year she spent at boarding school. She was truly a work of art, and Erik treasured every word she spoke and every move she made.

To quickly, they arrived at the castle and they both headed toward their respective rooms. Erik stood at the threshold of her door, completely surprised at the wonderful time he had had; but it was she who spoke first. "Thank you Erik, for a lovely day. You are a true gentleman." She stroked his flawless cheek, "Tomorrow; you, Lacey and I are going on a picnic down by the lake; meet us here at 11:00 a.m."

Erik lifted her hand, turned it palm side up, lowered his warm lips to the pulse on the inside of her wrist and placed a gentle, but promise-filled kiss on that sensitive spot. "Thank you, my lady; for sharing this day with me and making me feel…more human than I have ever felt." He bowed and headed for his suite with a gigantic, somewhat satisfied smile on his face.

**Chapter 35 Preview – Second Date**


	35. Chapter 35

A Place in This World

**Ok my lovlies…it has been a long time coming and you have all been so patient with my ramblings. A'awynn gives our Erik the sensual lessons he has been lacking…enjoy!**

**I have had a request to keep the loving at a PG-13 level. My goal is to not offend anyone, so I would like to here some preferences before I post the next chapter. As stated, it has a rather "hot" solo act by Erik. Let me know by personal email, or my posting in the reviews. **

"We are all so much more complicated than our names…" Gerry Butler as Dracula in _"Dracula 2000"_

CHAPTER 35

**Some mature references.**

This day had been and adventure for Erik. An adventure shared with the most captivating woman he had ever meant. She actually seemed to invite his company; she had made another appointment with him for tomorrow. Well, appointment might not be the correct word; maybe Erik could actually say he had a date.

He could forget about not losing his heart to A'awynn, it was too late. Every beat of it cried out for her. Her touch healed the scars that had penetrated his tenacious heart for so many years. He had thought Christine had healed him, but she just coated them with her uncertain words and betraying gestures. A'awynn eradicated them with just one smile.

Erik sat up for two hours after returning from the jewelry store contemplating the direction his feelings had gone where Lady A'awynn was concerned. He certainly did not wish to offend her by declaring his undying love for her. Her kindness through the day had served to placate his normally ill disposition and place a genuine smile on his face.

He was not particularly tired just yet, so he went into the extensively stocked library in the west wing and perused the books; nothing really jumped out at him. He was itching to get his fingers on that piano again, and decided it would be the best way to relax his pent up anxiety and practice at the same time.

Thinking no one would be moving about at this hour, he only donned his trousers and slipped through the silent halls of Berwithshire, barefooted and bare-chested, drawing closer and closer to his desired destination.

The piano seemingly read his mind and called to him as he approached. He flexed his fingers and sank into the bench as though it were the welcoming arms of his beloved. The keys caressed his fingers, bidding him never to abandon them.

He played the beautiful, flowing music of Mozart and Chopin, flawlessly making the piano sing the very mood of the composers. He moved effortlessly between movements and sonatas that there was no pause in the music. His eyes fluttered open occasionally, just to be certain he was not in heaven.

He finished with Mozart and immediately switched to Beethoven, his personal favorite. "Fur Elise" was one of his favorite pieces and he played each movement with expertise. The music flowed from his hands as words flowed from his lips; eloquently, gracefully and majestically.

The masterful piano sounds drifted on the wind into A'awynn's open windows. She knew it was Erik and her heart cried for his touch. She heard him flow from song to song, composer to composer without pausing or flinching. She could not help reflecting on the way he moved and made even the simplest, most mundane task look like a work of art. She had observed his bow, his walk, his stance, his slumber even his anger; and in every instance, he amplified regal grace, exceptional manners, deep intelligence and indescribable beauty. She wanted to grow old with him by her side, playing that music and dancing into the twilight. She wanted children with him that had his beauty, both physically and intellectually; she wanted to see his face, hear his voice, and touch his body every moment of every day until the day she died.

She envisioned the image of Erik, feeling him right beside her. She projected her thoughts, willing them to reach Erik's mind. **(Do you know what you have done to me? Sometimes, I wish you could read my mind. You are not ready to hear my words yet Erik, but you will know, by the time you take my hand on Saturday, that I love you more than life itself.)**

Erik, feeling rejuvenated and refreshed, closed the piano lid and exited the room. Music was his first love; she never abandoned him or expected too much from him. She never stripped the mask from his face or chastised him for his begrudging thoughts; she loved him as much as he loved her.

Erik entered his suite, slipped beneath his satin sheets and was asleep before he could count to ten.

OOOOOOOOO

Erik arose later than usual the following morning. He had slept entirely nightmare free, something that was happening more and more frequently. He bathed leisurely, enjoying the warmth of the water on his skin. He took great care in grooming today, he really did not know why; it did not matter the kind or style of clothes he wore or how good his hair looked or even if he smelled good; he would still be less than desirable. He came to the conclusion that it was for his own peace of mind; maybe he could stand himself better.

He had apparently missed breakfast, so he we walked the gardens. It was going to be a warm one today. He found Michél sitting on a bench in the gardens and sat down beside him. "So Michél, have you started courting Kaitlyn yet? You two would be good for each other."

Erik knew that Kaitlyn needed love in her life after losing her husband. She had had plenty of time for the grieving process, and it was time for her to move on. Michél had never been married, but had been involved a few times. He too, needed love in his life.

Michél regarded Erik with hopeful eyes, "We have taken the first steps…I still feel awkward…her being of noble birth and me…not."

Erik gave him a comical scowl, "Since when has that mattered? From what my father says, he has let the girls choose their spouses; he never forced them to marry." Erik's voice had trailed off on the last few words.

"Erik, everything will be just fine. A'awynn is a beautiful, vivacious woman. She will, no doubt, keep you on your toes."

Erik tried to keep his voice steady and unemotional, "This marriage will be in name only Michél; I have promised her that she will be free of me as soon as the lands, holdings and titles of my family are secure." Erik did not look at Michél, for he assumed that he understood his logic in the matter. "I will name Lacey as my heir," Erik's eyes misted over with pent up grief, "she is the closest thing to a daughter that I will ever have."

Michél shook his head, and gave a humorless laugh, "Erik, for a man with your intelligence…you sure can be obtuse."

Erik looked at him with teary eyes and raised his eyebrow, "What am I being obtuse about?"

Michél just stared at him blankly for a moment, "Erik, what do you see when you look in the mirror?"

Erik turned his head away and spoke into the wind, "I see the aging face of a monster; a face that shows the years that have passed and the miles that have been trod…the mirror never lies to me Michél, it shows the real me." Erik looked back down at the ground and slowly turned toward Michél.

"Do you know what I see when I look at you?" Michél was going to make him understand, if it was the last thing he ever did"I see a man with such a capacity to love that nothing else matters. You unselfishly give everything for those you love; even at the risk of your very existence. I see a man who hides behind a mask; a mask that others do not even see anymore…for we know what lies beneath it…**and we do not care**."

Tears were silently caressing Erik's face as he heard Michél, "When you are not aware of her eyes being on you, I have watched A'awynn as she gazes upon you…she loves you Erik…there is not a doubt in my mind." Erik's head jerked in the negative when Michél mentioned love. "I don't mean she loves you like a friend…I mean that her eyes devour you with their passion and longing, trust me; she is in love with you."

Erik just stared back and Michél, too stunned to speak. His voice was shaky when he finally spoke, "I cannot dare hope that what you say is true…I cannot bear the loss again." Erik's sad tone lingered in the air. "This time, it will be me who does the leaving…permanently." Erik knew that Michél understood his implications. "She will have all the good things that a marriage to me can give her…this I have promised her."

Erik saw that pained look on Michél's face and gave him a slight smile, "Everyone will be happy…my family will have their lands, holdings and titles; you will have Kaitlyn, Lacey will be the princess that she should be and A'awynn will be free, everyone I love will be happy. Besides, any affection she may feel toward me borderlines on pity and morbid curiosity."

Michél signed in exasperation. He rested his head in his hands and shook it. "I'm not going through this again Erik. You WILL NOT attempt suicide again. Do you hear me? For all your unselfish acts, you are really a very selfish person if you think that your death would not affect anyone but you."

Michél felt like slamming Erik to the ground and grilling into him the facts that were so plainly in view, "Whether you choose to believe or not does not make it any less of a fact; you are an intricate part of this family and the people whose lives you touch." Erik had never heard Michél talk to him like this.

"You think you hurt everyone you love? What about me Erik? You have never once hurt me; in fact, you saved me. You think that this family was better off without you…I know otherwise…laughter and love have been returned to it, and you are the reason why." Michél placed his hand on Erik's shoulder and spoke directly to his eyes, willing him to see the logic of his words, "You feel that all the pain and suffering precedes you, and inflicts those you love when you come into their lives; the truth is…the pain and suffering only began after you were no longer in their lives."

Michél was the voice of reason in Erik's head. Why had he never seen it that way before? Erik had always been hell bent on purging any rights he had to happiness out of his life; not because everyone told him he was not worthy of it…it was because he told himself he was not worthy of it.

Michél continued, "Erik, since we have been here, you have attended church services every Sunday. I have seen the affect of the sermons on you as you listen to them. I know that you believe the Bible is the word of God and every word is God breathed. Now tell me; if God, the Creator of heaven and earth, considered you worthy enough to come to earth in human form so that He would have the blood needed to be our sacrifice, making a means for salvation: Also that we could relate to Him, knowing that He understood the frailty of man; then why can't you consider yourself worthy of A'awynn's love?"

Erik cried. He had never heard such a profound argument concerning self-worth. If anyone was holding Erik back from experiencing the gifts that God had put in front of him, it was Erik. For all of his life, he had pushed away the very people God had put in his life, thinking they were always mocking him or berating him. He never stopped to consider that they might actually care about him in some way.

"Suicide is not an option Erik, for your life does not belong to you, it belongs to God." Michél spoke to Erik as if he was the student and Michél were the teacher. "Let this relationship with A'awynn develop, and see where it leads..." Michél gave Erik's shoulder a squeeze, "…listen to what she says and most definitely pay attention to what she does…you will be pleased with what you find you." Erik could not remember when Michél had become so smart.

Erik looked at his pocket watch; it was 10:30. In a half hour, he would be meeting A'awynn and Lacey for their day together. Erik was determined to make this a better day by not being skeptical about every word she said or overanalyzing every gesture. He would enjoy the day and take whatever she was willing to give.

He decided to pick two bouquets of daffodils, one for Lacey and the other for A'awynn. He had them in his hands as he approached the door, shaking like a leaf in a windstorm. He rapped lightly on the door, and stood back. The large door crept open to reveal two, very interested gray eyes accompanied by a delightfully, sweet grin.

"Come in for a little while mama is not ready yet." She grabbed his hand as if it was the most natural act on earth. Erik was pulled in by the determination of her tiny body, with both of her hands on his one.

"Lacey, I can wait outside. This is highly irregular." Erik droned; he did not wish to offend A'awynn by intruding on her home.

Lacey continued to pull him toward the divan. She put her little hand out and indicated for him to take a seat, which he did. She twirled in front of him like a ballerina, "Do you like my new frock? Mama made it just for outdoors."

It was lovely. Pink and blue flowers danced all over the yellow material. The arms were short and it tied around the waist. The skirt flared out and went to her mid-leg. Her hair had been done up in a bun, keeping the silky strands off her neck in the heat of summer. She looked radiant.

"You look very smart Lacey; you will no doubt have all the boys bowing at your feet for the opportunity to be by your side." Erik playfully goaded her, knowing that she thought boys to be a nuisance and a pain.

She wrinkled her nose at him and remarked back, "Ooooo, boys are yucky!" Erik laughed at her comical features. She really would be a beauty when she grew up, and Erik knew for sure that she would be beating the boys off with a stick.

"So, is she keeping you busy?" Erik heard A'awynn's voice and he stood to his feet. He turned toward her and his breath left him. She dress she wore was a carbon copy of the one that Lacey was wearing, except A'awynn's voluptuous curves gave it a whole new look. Erik swallowed hard, desperately trying to calm his racing heart. Her hair was pulled back, hanging in one long ponytail down her back.

"You look beautiful, A'awynn…the dresses are truly special." Erik stuttered. He handed her the flowers and she turned and placed them in a vase on the table.

She came to him and reached up with her face, placing a chaste kiss on his perfect cheek. Erik was pretty certain he had died and gone to heaven at this point. What possessed her to do that? She had never indicated that she was going to do that before, why now?

"You look quite handsome yourself, Erik." A'awynn's eyes sparkled with mirth as she spoke.

Erik laughed at that, still not believing he possessed any beauty at all.

A'awynn rested her hand on his arm, looking deep into his restless eyes, "Believe me Erik, you are a very potently attractive man; in every way."

He held her eyes for a few seconds, seeing the earnest warmth in them; it seemed she honestly believed what she said. Erik gave her his arm and took Lacey's hand with his other. The soon-to-be-family waded down the hall toward the kitchen to pick up their picnic basket.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Lacey danced around, chasing a butterfly as it flitted past her head. Being outdoors was her favorite place in the whole world. There was nothing to break outdoors and she could run and run and never be told to stop. Erik and A'awynn sat on the blanket, looking at the swans glide lazily, but gracefully over the surface of the water. There was not a person in sight, as A'awynn had requested no activity be on the grounds during this particular time. They had come to an area of the lake that was out of the view of the castle and prying eyes.

They had finished eating the sandwiches, cheese slices, and apples about a half hour ago and were simply relaxing; silently enjoying each other's company and the beautiful summer afternoon. It was not too hot right now and there was a slight breeze blowing, making the atmosphere very tranquil.

A'awynn looked over at Erik, who had his eyes closed; enjoying the morning air. He had worn a lightweight pair of black trousers which traced his strong, elegant, long legs perfectly. His pants tapered into this knee high boots. His blue shirt was loose fitting and also lightweight with flowing arms and a neck that was open to reveal just enough of that chiseled chest to make A'awynn's face flush and heart race.

He was so relaxed and beautiful out here in the natural wonder of the Scottish hillside. She would never grow tired of looking at him. His hair was playfully waving around his face, soft and silky looking. He smelled clean and fresh, which was a very enticing smell to A'awynn. He was very much the alpha male, and she was incredibly drawn to him.

Lacey came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Sometimes, A'awynn wished she had the freedom of a four-year-old. She had to resist the urge to publicly surrender to her powerful attraction to Erik. He startled for a brief moment, and then pulled her around and into his lap. She played with the buttons on his shirt, and Erik silently rejoiced at having her in his arms

"Will you give me a pony ride on your back?" Lacey asked.

Erik knew what she wanted; he had seen his brothers-in-law pretending with their children. Never had he thought to be asked to participate in this seemingly fatherly duty.

He turned over on his hands and knees, lowered his tall frame just enough for Lacey to be able to crawl on and proceeded to tromp around in the grass like Nucis. Lacey giggled as he made his way around the area chasing the same butterfly that Lacey was chasing earlier. He whinnied and slightly lifted up off the ground, creating the affect of a horse rearing back onto its back legs. Lacey clung to him and gave a joyful screech. She was in heaven.

A'awynn looked on with avid interest. Her daughter loved this man as much as she did; and he had no clue. He was a natural with children; as he seemed to be with everything that he put his mind to. She watched as Erik dropped to ground in mock exhaustion and Lacey crawled off his back and tried to pry him up. When she was not successful, she sat back down on his back and did something completely unexpected. She tickled him. Erik had never been tickled in all his life. He did not even know he was ticklish. Lacey smiled in victory as he tried to wriggle out from her tiny hands.

"Mama, come and help me…he is helpless and this is so fun!" Lacey giggled as she screeched.

A'awynn ran over to where Erik was squirming beneath Lacey's vigorous onslaught. He could have pushed her off easily, and A'awynn knew this; but he allowed Lacey to dominate him completely. He had never been sexier than he was at that moment.

A'awynn reached down and tickled his left side while Lacey concentrated on the right side. His helpless giggle was music to A'awynn's ears. He was slowly becoming more at ease around her and with himself. He would soon see all there was to love about him, through her eyes.

"Sttttooop, please! I can't take anymore….my sides are ripping open!" Erik pleaded with them and Lacey ceased and reached down and placed a kiss on his cheek.

He was face down on the blanket, the spot where he had dropped. She ran off in the other direction, "Mama, I'm going to go play with Moira and Gwynne."

Lacey loved having Erik's nieces on the grounds, as everyone had temporarily come back to Berwithshire for Erik's arrival and decided to extend their stay for his wedding.

A'awynn was glad to have someone around that was Lacey's age, it was good to have her interacting with other children. "Go ahead doll; just don't be a bother to Mammy, alright?"

Lacey nodded her head in agreement and ran off toward the castle. Erik had turned over onto his back and was propped up on his elbows, looking at the lake with a happy smile on his face. A'awynn was perched on the ground, resting on her knees. She stood up, and as she did so, her foot caught on the hem of her dress; sending her reeling down toward Erik.

He moved like lightening, catching in his strong hands. She was suspended about three inches above him with his hands still encircling her dainty waist. Her hair had fallen to the front and caressed Erik's right side with its silkiness. He just held her there, not wanting to move. A'awynn placed her right hand on Erik's left cheek, admiring the masculine beauty that he possessed. He had already developed a reputation around Scotland of being the most handsome aristocrat. A'awynn also knew that the only thing Erik saw when he looked at himself was his mask.

"I want to see you Erik…all of you." A'awynn stated with passion.

Erik could not help the feeling of dread that overcame him; but his eyes gave the surrender as she brought her hand up and gently lifted the mask from the right side of his face. Erik closed his pained eyes as his ugliness bared itself before her. She had seen it before, but never this close. Tears were trickling down his cheeks. She knew the reasoning behind those tears, and it wretched her heart. A'awynn caressed the left side of his face with her hand and took her long hair and wiped the tears from this face; gently cooing at him, letting him know that she was in no way repulsed by his scars.

"It's alright Erik, I've seen these scars numerous times as I grew up, and the reality is…they are just scars…scars that a madman inflicted on you in order to cause you and your family pain and humiliation." A'awynn continued to caress him, "You spent years allowing him a victory…no more Erik…no more."

Erik carefully lowered her onto his chest, feeling her immediately yield to his body. She lowered her face to his and rubbed her cheek against his ravaged skin; feeling the softness of it.

The feel of her perfection against his ugliness conjured up memories of not to long ago when other hands had caressed his bare cheek and ripped the mask from his face; when other eyes stared at him in gross curiosity before turning from him in contempt and disgust. But when he looked into A'awynn's bright eyes, he saw none of that; all he saw was tenderness and some unknown…something. He became painfully aware of her shapely breasts pressed against his chest and her long, lithe legs stretched out the length of his hard, muscular body.

"A'awynn, this is a very compromising position…we should not be here like this." Erik whispered, moving to lift her gently from him, but A'awynn brought her arms around and latched them underneath his shoulders; he could not pry her loose.

She lowered her face to his ear, gently whispering; causing a jolt of energy to course through Erik, "There is no one here Erik…and I am perfectly happy where I am."

She nuzzled his ear with her breath and all of Erik's defenses went up when she ran her tongue along its outer ridge. He gently but firmly tried to push her up and off him, but her pleading words stopped him, "Don't shut me out Erik…I'm not Christine…I'm not Lucy."

Erik felt tangible panic grip his chest, could this woman actually expect something from him? "I don't know how to do this A'awynn…I don't know how to be myself with a woman…I don't know how to be anything with a woman…"

A'awynn knew that Erik did not need a prim and proper lady at this point; he needed a bold, aggressive woman who would take control and show him how desirable he was; she would not let him think himself ugly anymore. She ran her right hand through his hair, still surprised at how soft it was. His hands barely touched her elbows as her seductive dance began.

She placed gentle, inquiring kisses along his cheeks and jaw line, gently suckling on the flesh as she did so. The kisses trailed down his neck to the pulse point just above the open crevice of his shirt. She teased the area with a flick of her tongue, and then gently kissed it. Erik was incoherent by this point, completely surrendering to her skillful mouth and hands.

"You're mine Erik, say it…I want to hear you say it." A'awynn assured him.Erik could not even form words, his tongue was useless and his mind was mush. "Say it," she whispered in his ear again; her sweet, warm breath caressing him, "say it…my love".

Erik turned toward her voice, missing the endearment; his heart beating erratically in his chest, his voice was full of raw excitement and it was almost painful to speak, "you know I am…you have known it for some time." He opened his turbulent eyes, every raw emotion evident in their green depths, "I'm yours A'awynn, and even if it costs me my sanity…I'm tired of fighting what I feel for you…"

No longer was Erik the pursuer, but the pursued. His eyes were raw with want and need and he was putty in her hands. She brazenly kissed each eyelid, feeling his long, dark lashes tickle her chin as she did so. She kissed the tip of his nose and the sensitive spot just in front of both ears.

Her sexy, molten voice thrilled his body as she coaxed him further, "It is beyond me how you have escaped the greedy hands and mouths of other women Erik…you are irresistible…and it completely boggles my mind to think that no others lips have touched this god-like body of yours…or these fantasy-inducing lips of yours…"

She placed a kiss on his bottom lip, gently running her thumb over its fullness as she did so. She traced its perfectly symmetrical surface with her wanton tongue, making Erik groan beneath her. He slightly opened his mouth without being aware of his actions; and A'awynn pushed the advantage.

She took him fully on the mouth, wielding her lips expertly across his. Erik did not even react; he was in complete shock. She placed wet, passionate kisses along the outside of his mouth and then boldly entered the sweetness of his mouth with her tongue; inviting him to open to her exploring mouth. He did so, without further delay. His virgin tongue coyly touched the surface of hers, not wanting to seem desperate; but A'awynn was hungry for him and had had enough teasing, she wrapped her velvet tongue around his, and their passion play began.

Erik moaned in sweet ecstasy, he never knew it could be like this. She was creating the most wonderful sensations with her lips and tongue. He never ever dreamed a woman would want to taste him in this manner, but A'awynn made it quite clear to his inexperienced body that she very much wanted him, in every way.

He ardently meant every thrust of her tongue with an equally demanding thrust of his own. It did not take long, before he was extracting moans from her as his genius came out in his masterful lips and tongue. He quickly became an excellent kisser and A'awynn completely surrendered to his expertise.

His hands were roving up her straight back and one rested on the curve of her hip and the other wound in the fullness of her hair, forcing her mouth harder down on his. He coated her mouth with his tongue, nourished himself on the sweet nectar that resided within.

A'awynn, unbeknownst to him, had unbuttoned the front of his shirt midway down. She lifted her mouth from his, playing with his tongue at it skirted out of his mouth. She pulled the shirt from the confines of his pants and ripped the front open, causing the rest of the buttons to go flying. She did all this before Erik even knew what was going on. She was still atop him, but she had now worked her way down to where she straddled his hips.

"You have the most gorgeous body, Erik…I want to touch you and experience just a little bit of heaven right now." A'awynn's words were breathy and hushed.

She moved to his side and lightly dusted the hairs on his molded chest with her fingertips as she mated with his mouth. (**did she just say I had a gorgeous body?)**Erik reached up and steadied her hand with his, moaning desperately as her hand swept across the erect nipples on his chest. His body was on fire.

"You think I have a gorgeous body?" Erik was almost laughing, but her eyes told him that what she said was the truth.

She gave him a seductive grin and a wink. "I don't think it Erik…I know it!" and she lowered her mouth. His arms rested lethargically at his side, he could not have lifted them if he had to, and his head rocked back and forth, as the well of excitement that controlled his body took over.

She administered kisses on every inch of his chest, drinking in the fresh, clean scent of his skin and the low, masculine moans that escaped his lips.

Erik finally came to his senses and rolled her over, pinning her beneath his heavier mass. "I cannot take much more of that, or I will completely explode."

A'awynn was very much aware of his massive erection as his form fitting pants outlined it beautifully. She was most impressed with the size of that outline and it promoted images in her mind of pleasures yet to come.

Erik cupped her chin in his palm and gazed into her passion-filled eyes, "You are aware that no woman has ever touched me like you just did?" A'awynn grinned and reached up and placed a kiss on his mouth. "You are genuinely attracted to me?" Erik spoke in complete awe of his realization.

A'awynn gently cupped his face between her hands, "I am not only genuinely attracted to you…" She looked deep into the green abyss of his eyes, "…but I am completely and deeply in love with you and have been for days."

Erik pulled back and examined her face for any sign of dishonesty or mirth, but all he saw was earnestness in her sincere eyes and complete love on her face…the same love he had seen on his mothers face as she looked at Alastair. Tears coated Erik's eyes as he realized that all of his prayers were answered with one statement from this woman.

Michél's words from earlier that day resounded in Erik's mind. If God, his creator, felt that Erik was worthy enough to die for, than He must deem him worthy enough for love; and He sent him A'awynn.

Erik hugged her to him; a hug that exhibited his acceptance of her love and his own love for her. "You had me from the moment I laid eyes on you. Your very presence tortured me, and I grew more and more tormented as each moment passed, knowing that you would never be mine."Erik shook in her arms from the deep emotional release he was experiencing. "I never would have dreamed that you could ever love me."

A'awynn just held him to her, shushing his crying with gentle words and tender strokes on his back; she loved this man with every fiber of her being and would spend the rest of her life proving that to him.

"Erik, this wedding, though seemingly forced upon us; is an answer to my prayers." A'awynn confessed. Erik's slight wrinkle in his forehead voiced his confusion. "I jumped at the chance to marry you, knowing that I would make you see my sincere love for you in my actions and eventually in my words…all you had to do was feel yourself worthy of my love…" She pulled his face to hers for a gentle, closed mouth kiss. "…and you are Erik; you are very worthy of my love and the love of your family and friends."

She moved away from him, allowing him to set up. She glanced appreciatively at his exposed chest through his open shirt, feeling no remorse at the missing buttons. He offered his hand as she took and rose to stand in front of him. She boldly swept her hand across his chest, making him shudder under her hand, "You better fix this, or your mother will think I have attacked you…oh, wait…she encouraged me to!" Erik jerked his eyes up and noticed the impish grin on her face and the twinkle in her eyes, and cocked his head at her, giving her an impish grin of his own.

Her pulled her to him and passionately took her mouth. His warm, talented tongue dove into her waiting mouth and danced with hers. Their breathing became arduous and staggered as their passion grew. He ground his tongue into her, showing her the actions his body longed to take with other parts of her body. She meant him stroke for sensuous stroke, answering his body's demands with demands of her own.

The kiss ended with several little kisses and finally A'awynn spoke through passion-swollen lips, "You gorgeous man, you just wait until our wedding night, we may not surface for days…" Erik caught his breath and grinned at her.

They walked silently, arm-in-arm, toward the castle; just enjoyed the closeness of each other.

When they reached the front entrance, A'awynn turned toward him, "I know that Christine will be here tomorrow; I also know that you used to harbor deep feelings for her," Erik started his rebuttal and A'awynn put her index finger to his lips, gently massaging their softness with her finger. "I also know that what you felt for her was an obsessive crush; one that almost destroyed you…but now you know what real love feels like and looks like…"

A'awynn closed her eyes and looked toward the heavens at the One Who created and instituted the beauty of love. She had almost lost her faith at one point in her life, but the gift of Lacey had made her once again thank God for His blessings and she had promised to serve His children at the orphanage for two years. She had again fallen away when the absence of a man in her life; a good man, made her loneliness palpable. Then God, in His infinite wisdom, had brought them together when the timing was perfect for both of them; they were both ready to throw caution to the wind and give their entire beings to each other.

A'awynn quoted the most profound definition of love she had ever come across…

"**Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.**

"**And though I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains…but have not love, I am nothing.**

"**And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love…it profits me nothing.**

"**Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, endures all things.**

"**Love never fails…and now abides faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."**

A'awynn looked to Erik who simply stood in awe. She was right, he now knew what real love was…he had finally found it; in God, in A'awynn, in Lacey and in the family he had been returned to.

1 Corinthians 13:1-8a, 13; NKJV

**Chapter 36 Preview – Erik gets some satisfaction**


	36. Chapter 36

A Place in This World

**Thank you for your response to my postings, they helped a great deal. I am so pleased with the comments that I am hearing and I hope that my story is realistic portrayal of how events could have gone.**

**I would like to do a personal welcome to Passed Over**, **thank you for your reviews and I hope you enjoy the rest of the ride.**

**The first part of this is the PG-13 version of this chapter, it will be followed directly by the "Mature" version. No one under 16 should read the mature version.**

"Give me that thing before you cut something off you'll be needing later." Gerry Butler as Andre Marek in _"Timeline"._

CHAPTER 36

It was mid-afternoon when Erik and A'awynn entered the castle. There was a hubbub of activity going on. The women were making final preparations for the wedding feast that followed the ceremony. Brianna had arranged the menu and set about procuring the proper chefs and servers for the elaborate meal.

The menu would consist of Roasted Quail, roasted potatoes with parsley, snap beans in butter sauce, braised cranberries in red wine sauce, croissants with fresh strawberry preserves, and fresh peach cups with sweet cream. Brianna ordered only the freshest ingredients and would be overseeing the entire process, from start to finish.

Kaitlyn and her sisters were in charge of finding the orchestra. The Glasgow symphony orchestra was more than eager to oblige the Lauchlan family, whose son had written some of the new music they had recently had sent to them from Paris. An anonymous donor had sent the music about two weeks ago, saying that the composer had lived in Paris most of his life, but had recently discovered he was a Scottish Earl in line for the Dukedom of Berwithshire; he had been known only as "The Phantom of the Opera". Erik, not knowing this, would be very surprised.

A'awynn got whirl winded into the planning and Erik did not see her for the rest of the evening. He did have a brief conversation with his mother before he was coerced into a game of poker with his father and brothers-in-law. _"Erik, this Christine, she is not going to make a scene is she?"_ Brianna was concerned about the guests and the children becoming privy to information they did not need to be privy to. Erik smirked at her concerns, _"She had no reason to cause a scene mother, there was not, never has been and never will be anything between us but friendship."_ Brianna rolled her eyes and cupped Erik's chin with her fingers_, "Erik, where men are concerned, women are every bit as possessive as men…believe me, if she still harbors feelings for you…"_ Erik interrupted her, _"Mother, A'awynn is a lady in every sense of the word, she will not allow any altercations between Christine and her; I have already taken care to assure that Christine will kept busy…trust me."_

He was an excellent poker player, had been all his life. He had mastered the art of showing no emotion in his face or eyes and this skill served him well; but because they were family, Erik went easy on them. He only had one drink, and did not even finish that; and they went through many topics in the hours that passed, but Erik did not let on to his father that he and A'awynn were in love. They would all find out soon enough.

Erik removed himself from the game around 12:30 in the morning and wandered down to the Conservatory. He had been hearing a melody in his head. A melody that rang of sweet surrender and secret love; he knew that he had to write it down and the words that he heard on the wind as the melody whispered through his head spoke of the power of love and how it compared to nature.

He knew as he wrote down the music and penned the words that this would be his love song to A'awynn during their wedding ceremony. He heard the entire song in his head and knew it would be perfect. He found staff paper and ink in every color, as well as a feather pen in the music room annex of the conservatory. He began writing for the first time in months. He had not picked up a pen to write music since he had thrown his whole being into "Don Juan"; it felt like he had come home.

A'awynn had been watching Erik from her window. She had looked in on the poker game, but he had been very engrossed in the game and she did not wish to disturb him. To pass the time, she had stepped out onto the veranda to enjoy the evening sights and sounds. She sat down beside the massive windows of the common room, just out of eyesight to those within. She watched as Erik dominated the game and went easy on them. She watched as he excused himself and left the room, headed for the conservatory. She allowed him some time to do whatever it was that he was doing; for it appeared he was writing something down in a ferocious manner. When he seemed to have reached a stopping point, she entered the large door leading to the veranda.

Erik had seen her out of the side of his eye, and his heart lurched in this chest. He shuffled the music score under the blank paper and slowly turned to her with passion in his eyes. She ran to his waiting arms and he lifted her off the floor, swinging her around. He lowered her gently onto the top of the piano and positioned himself between her thighs. Her robe was sneaking down her arm and Erik dared to move it further as his lips followed the silken trail that the robe left.

He placed tender kisses over the soft curve of her shoulder and lifted her arm, slowly and methodically tasting her skin with the very tip of his tongue and kissing the sultry surface of her arm all the way to her fingers. His left hand gently gripped her hair, pulling her head back to reveal the creamy curve of her neck. His eager mouth found the sweet junction between her neck and shoulder and he tasted its purity with his tongue.

He meticulously kissed the length of her neck, nuzzling her ear and running his tongue gently on the inner circle of it. A'awynn shivered with passion and could not even stop her reaction to his talented mouth and tongue. She was gently unfastening the buttons on his shirt. When she got them undone enough, she wound her arms inside his shirt and massaged his bare back and chest as he made love to her neck on his way to her mouth.

Erik pulled his arms back to allow her to remove his shirt, knowing that she loved his bare chest. A'awynn lost no time in doing just that. Even with her on the edge of the piano and Erik standing, he was tall enough to allow her easy access to his chest. She ran her hands over each peck, enjoying the moan this exhibited from Erik. His hands found their way to her shoulders and gently grasped them as she kissed the hard expanse of this chest. She ran her tongue seductively over each hardened nipple, causing Erik to jerk in her hands and inhale sharply. When she was doing that, A'awynn felt like she ruled the world.

Erik could stand no more and forcefully pulled her hungry mouth up to his and meant her searching tongue heatedly. He played her mouth like a sweet melody as he thrust into her time and time again. He sucked the sweetness gently from her tongue and ended the kiss, making her body ache for more.

A'awynn opened her passion-filled eyes; they were the color of the sky during the few minutes as the sun is setting. Erik got lost in those eyes. Her breathless voice caressed his ears, _"Erik, I have never been so turned on in my entire life…this will be the most torturous four days of my life…"_ A'awynn seductively slid off the surface of the piano, purposefully running her swollen bosom down the surface of his chest, and inconspicuously rubbed his erect manhood with her knee.

Erik went completely still as she ran her body down his hard surface. He was trying so hard to maintain a neutral visage. He closed his eyes and rolled them, feeling the sensation of unrelenting passion surge through him; there would be no sleep for him tonight.

He lifted her gently away from him and placed a peck upon her pert nose. _"Woman, you are going to cause me enough discomfort tonight in my dreams, please do not make it worse."_ She flashed him a what-did-I-do-I'm-completely-innocent grin and blew him a kiss as she walked out the door and headed for her suite; her body still tingling from Erik's skilled hands, mouth and tongue.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**Mature references – hopefully, tastefully done and not above a PG-13 rating.**

Completely naked, in front of the full-length mirror in his bedroom, Erik examined his body for the first time ever without disgust. He focused on his face, but instead of seeing just the ravaged side, he saw the chiseled jaw line with its clef chin, the curve of his perfect cheek; his impossibly green eyes and the full, well-proportioned lips. He saw his thick, raven hair waving around his face.

He ran his hands down his chest, feeling the hard muscles that constricted under his touch. The awesome sensation that A'awynn had created with her hands and mouth, still echoed across his searing flesh. He supposed he had a nice chest, all things considered; A'awynn certainly enjoyed it.

His body's reaction to A'awynn was completely natural, Erik knew this; but he had never experienced raw sensuality as he did when he was in her presence. He had been in an uncomfortably reactive state since seeing her in that form fitting dress, and then to have her atop him placing the sweetest kisses upon him…it was more that Erik could have ever hoped for, and a certain part of his anatomy was boldly proclaiming his interest.

He went into the lavatory and splashed cool water on his face and upper torso, allowing the water to run down his chest. The water warmed on his heated skin as it made a path down his perfect body and Erik rubbed his hands down his chest to halt the waters path. The feeling his hands created was almost the same sensation that A'awynn had bestowed upon him earlier; sending waves of desire spreading through his body with determined power.

Erik had never resorted to self-satisfaction; not even as a teenager, when his hormones were running rampant through his body. He despised himself so much that bringing himself any pleasure at all just seemed like injustice. Now, as he reflected on the beauty that A'awynn saw in his body and face, Erik wondered about the possibility of relieving just a minimal part of the sexual tension that stirred in his loins.

Leaning back on the pillows that lined the head of his bed, Erik marveled at the body that he had never taken the time to admire. He ran his hands down his tight abdomen, watching his muscles react to the foreign attention. He saw the strength concealed just under the surface in the refined and toned length of his legs. His pectorals were taunt and sculptured, and his hands brushing across their sensitive peaks created a powerful reaction within Erik's body. His eyes went to half-mass as he enjoyed the sensations shooting through him.

There had been many times in the past years that Michél had encouraged him to seek relief through prostitutes or self-manipulation. Erik despised prostitution and how it exploited and degraded women. Many men thought that sex was all that women were good for, so they saw nothing wrong with prostitution; but Erik found women to be adroitly intelligent and keenly honed to the emotional plane of life that very often escaped men. They are stronger, in an emotional and spiritual sense, than men are and Erik loved observing and being around them.

Until A'awynn, Erik had not experienced this all-consuming need to satisfy his body's demands. He had never reacted this way to Christine; he thought her beautiful yes, but he had related to her on a more intellectual level than anything. With A'awynn, there was no end to the number of levels on which he reacted to her. She stimulated him intellectually with her vast knowledge of many subjects and world travels; she stimulated him spiritually as she grasped the grace of God and His infinite wisdom, as well as the intricate rhythm of the world and she stimulated him physically…and this is where Erik had no experience whatsoever.

His need grew stronger with each image that formed in his active mind. He was powerless to fight these urges any longer and answered the call of his body for the first time. He knew that if he did not do something he would be even more useless tomorrow, and he needed to be more in control of himself at that point than he was right now.

Erik felt no shame as he caressed and warmed his own needs with his hands; his body thanking him for his attentive deeds. The part of his body that had remained untouched in a sexual way for all of his life finally showed Erik its gratitude as he experienced pleasure that he never knew existed. His inexperienced touch, as he explored the textures and tones of his erect flesh, was showing Erik a whole new world; a world of relief and satisfaction.

The sexual energy charging through him was heightening his senses and making him aware of the blood racing through his veins and the increasing thud of his heart against the drum of his chest. His staggered breathing, intermingled with erotic moans of pleasure, only added to Erik's bliss. His efforts became more intense and his body glistened from a sheer layer of perspiration.

For the first time in his life, Erik actually felt like a sexual being. He had approached puberty with the knowledge that had permeated him from early childhood; that he was less than human and not deserving of the normal functions and pleasures of the race. The gypsies had drilled into him that he was an animal and animals get no pleasure afforded them. He witnessed the mating process of different animal species and he wanted nothing to do with any of it. His "master" had even sexually molested him on several occasions; it was brutal and painful and Erik turned even more into himself every time that his master satiated his lust on him. These were things that Erik had shared with no one, and he never would.

Now, as he soared through the air on a cloud of pleasure initiated by him and culminated by him; Erik realized that the shame and humiliation that he had carried with him all these years because of his molestations was not his fault. He could remember being a young boy in the gypsy camp and hating where he was and hating those that held him captive and hating the man that hurt him; but the self-hate and the need to destroy himself had not become a part of him until Boris had begun making visits to Erik's cage. The rage and contempt that he should have felt for his captures, turned inward; and Erik became what he had been all those years in the opera house, a ghost of a man.

The release that he experienced had a double effect on Erik. The coaxing of his seed from his body, for the first time ever, symbolized his sexual awakening in the love that he knew A'awynn felt for him. He was free; free to be a man; free to be a man with sexual needs and desires; free to be a man with sexual needs and desires and free to have a wife who gave him pleasure and to whom he could give pleasure.

But the release also represented Erik's complete infusion into the human race. He could now walk with his head up and his shoulders back, knowing that he was worthy of the same rights and privileges that other men took for granted. He felt liberated at last, as if he was his own advocate. He had every right to experience sexual pleasure as anyone; and now, even if it was a pale comparison to having A'awynn's warm body wrapped around him, he had some idea of what sexual pleasure felt like.

Erik allowed his heartbeat to return to normal and then headed for the washroom on shaky legs to clean up. He had never felt so completely spent and satisfied in his entire life. Maybe, being able to pleasure himself would allow him a few insights on how to pleasure A'awynn. He had done his share of reading and had even seen a few incandescent interludes between couples in the shadowed canopy of the opera house, but what would it be like to share this experience with her?

He put out the oil lamp and slipped in between the sheets. Sleep came quickly and sweetly, allowing Erik to mull over the last few days in his sleep; in his sleep, the hands that satisfied him belonged to a temptress with laughing turquoise eyes and a mane of auburn hair that playfully caressed his skin in numerous passionate embraces and heated, open-mouthed kisses.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Chapter 36 MATURE VERSION

"**M" RATING BEGINS HERE…DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED BY READING GRAPHIC SCENES…**

Completely naked, in front of the full-length mirror in his bedroom, Erik examined his body for the first time ever without disgust. He focused on his face, but instead of seeing just the ravaged side, he saw the chiseled jaw line with its clef chin, the curve of his perfect cheek; his impossibly green eyes and the full, well-proportioned lips. He saw his thick, raven hair waving around his face. He ran his hands down his chest, feeling the hard muscles that constricted under his touch. The awesome sensation that A'awynn had created with her hands and mouth, still echoed across his searing flesh. He supposed he had a nice chest, all things considered; A'awynn certainly enjoyed it.

His erection was on the verge of being painful, a predicament that Erik had never been in before. He had never really paid his manhood any mind, he had avoided the need of his body to release sexual desire; therefore, he had never even looked at himself. A'awynn had made him feel desired and had succeeded in awakening the throbbing ache that now radiated around his cock. He had been in this uncomfortable state all day, since seeing her in that dress this morning.

He went into the lavatory and splashed cool water on his face and upper torso, allowing the water to run down his chest. The water warmed on his heated skin as it made a path down his perfect body and Erik rubbed his hands down his chest to halt the waters path. The feel of his hands created almost the same sensation that A'awynn had bestowed upon him earlier; sending waves of desire spreading through his body with determined power.

He made his way into his bedroom and stretched out on the luxurious, satin-covered bed. He had never even paid any attention to his manly nipples, until A'awynn had awakened their slumber with her hands and tongue. He brushed the palm of his hand over them and his breath caught in his chest. His eyes drifted to a half-closed position as a swell of sexual energy coursed through him. He continued this onslaught until he was delirious with desire. Having never touched himself and never being touched by another, Erik gingerly took his huge erection in hand, hissing at the charge that ran through him. He began to massage his stiffness; the shockwaves spread through his entire body with the core pleasure radiating around his erect shaft.

Erik had never experienced anything so heavenly in all his life. Why on earth had he robbed himself of this self-satisfying act all these years? He hadn't thought his erection could get any harder, until he envisioned a woman with auburn hair and dancing, turquoise eyes leaning into him with all her glorious beauty and doing to him what he was doing to himself, only with much more skill. He felt a residue on this fingers that created a friction, making his efforts even more satisfying. He pumped himself harder and harder, the action creating stars in front of his eyes. His beautiful body glistened with perspiration, and his glorious eyes closed, allowing complete concentration on the demands of this body.

His hips began to react to his ministrations by bucking against his hand, creating an even more satisfying feeling. He laid back, extended over a pile of pillows; his head leaning back and his eyes remaining closed with a look of ecstasy on his beautiful face. His right hand began slowing the pumping, but increasing the pressure; and Erik moaned with pleasure. He ran his left hand over his erect nipples, reveling in the sexual charge that shot through him. He played with the tip of his cock, wiping the sticky pre-come all over it. His body jerked and he gasped as the sensation rocked him; apparently, the tip was especially sensitive.

His toes began to curl, moving of their own accord as he felt a welling-up in the pit of his stomach. All else ceased to exist and only his body and its demands remained. His moans were deep and melodious, and Erik pumped a little faster and increased pressure slightly to answer their bidding. Suddenly, a flame began spreading throughout his body; a flame that was building and building, causing Erik's moans to become long and sensuous. His beautiful mouth turned up in a satisfied smile as the most wonderful sensation spread through his entire body. His eyes flew open and his back arched as he coaxed his seed from his body for the first time ever, in the most exquisite sensation he had ever known.

He continued to caress his less engorged but highly sensitive cock until he was completely drained and satisfied. Erik allowed his heartbeat to return to normal and then headed for the washroom on shaky legs to clean up. He had never felt so completely spent and satisfied in his entire life.

He put out the oil lamp and slipped in between the sheets. Sleep came quickly and sweetly, allowing Erik to mull over the last few days in his sleep; in his sleep, the hands that satisfied him belonged to a temptress with laughing turquoise eyes and a mane of auburn hair that playfully caressed his skin in numerous passionate embraces and heated, open-mouthed kisses.

**END OF "M" RATING CONTENT…and the chapter. I hope you aren't too overheated! I know it was short, but I thought you might need a breather!**

**Chapter 37 Preview – The arrival of Madam Giry and Christine and…**


	37. Chapter 37

**Well, the first kiss is over and the beginning of Erik's sexual revolution is in place and what could possibly be left? This story is drawing to a close in the next few chapters, I hope that all who have read it have enjoyed it.**

**I wish to thank Forgotten Sorceress for her critique, it was most helpful; not being an English major or even an English liker makes me most appreciative of your suggestions. I hope that this chapter will reflect your tips.**

**Welcome also to Dodger1, it is great to have you on the reading circle and thank you for your uplifting words. **

**And welcome back MastersofNight, I have missed you. Thank you for the suggestions.**

**To all who are my regulars, YOU HOLD A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART.**

"It belongs to the one who is strong enough to take it._" _Gerry Butler as Atilla, in "Attila".

CHAPTER 37

After Erik showered the next morning, he headed downstairs to the conservatory to finish the song he had written. He was in an exceptionally good mood, but he would not get the chance to see A'awynn this morning; she and his sisters, along with Brianna had all left early to hand out personal wedding invitations in town and all over northern Scotland. They also needed to speak with the vicar and make final preparations with him concerning the ceremony.

It did not take him long to finish the score and he went in search of Michél. Erik found him sitting on the veranda reading the paper and took the seat next to him

Erik spoke without looking at him,"Michél, I need to make a trip into Glasgow to pick up a friend and speak with the conductor of the orchestra that will be performing at the wedding. I have a piece of music to give them and I would like teach it to the orchestra if he will allow me."

Erik looked over at Michél and saw the glint of amusement in his eyes and the secretive grin on his face."What is that mischievous grin all about?"

Erik laughed through his smile; lightly knocking Michél in the shoulder. Michél would not budge and the grin remained in tact.

"I happened to pass by the conservatory last night; oh excuse me, this morning; and I saw two people, a man and a woman, locked in a very passionate kiss. Well, it was more like several passionate kisses, and the man had his shirt off!" Michél jested while winking at Erik; letting him know that his secret was safe with him.

Erik could have sworn he turned ten shades of pink. He had no idea that anyone had been watching.

"It is about time Erik. You have been deprived of a woman in your life for too long…looks like you caught on to the 'kissing thing' pretty quick!" Michél's grin was replaced by a more serious curve of this mouth, "What did she do that convinced you to take a chance?"

Erik gently shook his head, "There was no 'convincing'…she was just…" Erik hung his head and was silent for a minute. "She demonstrated love to me, Michél. She did not fill my head with flowery words and boring clichés; she simply showed me."Erik smiled, showing his beautifully straight, pearly white teeth.

"She pursued me…with sweet, heady seduction…"Erik looked aghast at that realization, even though he had accepted it. "…I had no choice but to surrender to her."

A brief shadow of panic passed over Erik's eyes. "Now, she has a power over me that I am helpless to fight…she literally holds my heart in the palm of her hand." Erik raised moist eyes to Michél, "I am in love with her…a pure, unselfish love that only seeks to make her happy and be to her the best man that I can be." Erik gently smiled with unadulterated joy, "and I now know that I can be that man…for the first time in my life Michél, I am happy to be me!"

Michél stood up and pulled Erik into his arms. Both men were crying from the sheer joy of answered prayer and the beauty of love. Michél looked toward heaven and voiced a silent prayer, **(thank You Lord…You have worked a miracle before my eyes and have made this wonderful man see his worth through the beautiful woman You created for him…thank you).**

Erik had almost forgotten why he came out to Michél in the first place. "As I was saying, I need to go into Glasgow. Would you like to come with me?"Michél folded the paper and placed it under his arm, finished his cup of coffee and followed Erik.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

They talked about every possible subject on the way in to Glasgow, including the upcoming visit from Miss Daae.

"There is nothing I can give Christine anymore. Her letter spoke of friendship between us and the shelter that I can provide for her; I have no romantic interest in her anymore." Erik was addressing a concern that Michél had voiced about Christine's arrival and subsequent stay.

Erik tried not to sound offensive, but he knew his heart…it had been the only part of him that kept him alive for all those years. It beat for A'awynn now, in a way that it had never beat for Christine.

"I have taken the liberty of securing her interests and my intentions will be known in a few short hours. As always, I still care about her and the path her life will take; in a sense, I feel as though I am her self-appointed guardian…"Erik regarded Michél with a stern look, "I have only her best interests at heart." Michél seemed completely satisfied with Erik's statements and the rest of the ride was one of humorous bantering and male bonding.

This was going to be an all day affair, as Erik would spend the greater part of the afternoon coaching the orchestra on his love song to A'awynn; he needed it to be perfect.

OOOOOOOOOO

The women arrived back at Berwithshire by 5:00 p.m. and A'awynn was disappointed that Erik was not around, but she knew that he had preparations he had to make also, so she put her disappointment aside and prepared herself for Christine's arrival in less than two hours.

What would this woman-child be like? She had to have some redeeming quality to have captured his heart. Erik was no shallow man, easily swayed by a pretty face and voluptuous body. He needed intellectual stimulation as well as physical.

A'awynn assured herself that she was not jealous of this young woman; after all, A'awynn was the one to whom he had surrendered. He had promised her he harbored no romantic interest in Christine any longer…and A'awynn believed him. But jealousy went both ways, and A'awynn was not entirely certain that she would trust Christine; what woman could give Erik up without a fight?

The castle was in an uproar as the hour of Christine's and Margarite's arrival approached with rapid speed. Erik was still not back and A'awynn was getting worried. Had something happened? Where had he gone? The head butler had simply said that he and Michél had headed into Glasgow to take care of some business and that they would return later today. Well, it was later today and he was not back.

Her anxious thoughts were interrupted by the announcement that Christine and Margarite had arrived. Brianna, A'awynn, Kaitlyn, the other sisters and all the husbands and children arranged themselves conspicuously throughout the castles main hall, as the two women made their way up the inlay rock sidewalk toward the door.

The pageboys that had meant the ladies in town, retrieved the luggage and the doorman opened the large, ornate doors as the two entered the main hall with astonished, appreciative looks on their faces. The castle was the most magnificent structure either of them had ever seen.

A'awynn held her breath as Christine's petite figure came in to view. She had the advantage at this point, for Christine had no idea who she was. The former object of Erik's interest; was a beautiful, petite brunette with long, flowing waves that reached the middle part of her back. Her face was angelic, with no freckles to speak of and long, thick eye lashes. Her smile still held that innocent, child-like quality that A'awynn had lost years ago.

Her figure, though less endowed than A'awynn, was slender and perfectly proportioned. She was perhaps 5'4", much shorter than A'awynn's 5'8" frame. All in all, she could not have been more different than A'awynn. Oddly enough, that gave A'awynn a sense of peace. At least Erik had not fallen in to that awful habit of picking women who reminded him of his lost love.

The other woman, though older…was still a very beautiful woman with a slick, lithe dancers body. Brianna approached both women and introduced herself and the others. Lastly, she introduced A'awynn. "…and it is with great pleasure that I introduce Erik's fiancée, Lady A'awynn Raelin Shaunessy Yancey, and her four-year-old daughter, Lady Lacey Patrice Yancey."

OOOOOOOOOO

It had not been until the train ride from Paris to London that Margarite had informed Christine that Erik was getting married. Erik had sent the telegram inviting Margarite and also told her that Christine was coming. Margarite had assumed that Erik had informed Christine of his plans.

The news had come out in a conversation they were having while on the train. Christine could not have been more devastated. Why did this hurt so much? While one part of her was wishing Erik the best of lives and saying he would find love, the other part was willing him to never surrender his heart to another…to pine away for her and remain true to her in every way.

When she and Raoul had parted way, Christine could think of no man she would rather turn to or be with than Erik. Now, she realized how selfish her thoughts had been…any woman would be ecstatic to have Erik, in every sense of the word. She had experienced a singular, definitive rush of jealousy at the thought of Erik with another woman.

Now, here she was, standing before the exquisite woman that was to be Erik's wife. A less than appropriate part of Christine had hoped she was a cow of a woman, but that was immediately dismissed; as the woman staring back at Christine was absolutely breathtaking. Auburn hair with endless curls, a tall, amply proportioned figure, and a face that would make Helen of Troy stop and take notice; this is what Christine saw as Brianna lovingly introduced Lady A'awynn.

"Lady A'awynn, it is indeed an honor to meet the woman that has won Erik's heart…" The statement was said as Christine curtsied low and elegantly, trying to still her burgeoning nerves; she lifted her eyes to A'awynn and kept them steady, "…and his soul."

Christine graced A'awynn with a genuine smile. As she meant her eyes, Christine could see the warning stationed within their blue depths. She also saw a worldly, classy woman with knowledge and wit to match Erik's; someone who could give him everything she could not.

Christine, not wanting to appear rude, held A'awynn's eyes and spoke softly, "May I have a few moments of her time…in private." A'awynn heard the trepidation in Christine's voice and eased up on the stern stare that she had fixed on her.

A'awynn nodded her head, "Of course, finish your introductions and we will speak in the garden room." There was a visible sign of relief that cloaked Christine's dainty features, and she turned toward Lacey.

"Lady Lacey, you are equally as stunning as your mother." Christine curtsied low again and smiled her most beautiful smile, allowing Lacey to curtsy back.

Lacey approached her and placed her hand on Christine's lowered shoulder. "Mommy tells me that you know Erik…." Lacey's smile was divine, "…he is going to be my daddy and I love him very, very much!"Lacey leaned in and cupped her hands around Christine's ear"I have even seen them kissing when mommy thought I wasn't looking!" Lacey had an impish grin when she pulled away and her little hand lifted and covered mouth.

Christine gulped down a lump in her throat, Erik had kissed this woman; something he had never done to her. Yes, she had touched his lips with hers, twice. She being the instigator, but he had not reacted to her kiss. In his eyes, she had kissed him out of desperation and pity; using the kisses as a weapon to free Raoul. The few moments of contact had been heavenly in Christine's mind. Erik's beautiful mouth was soft and warm and his novice kiss had touched her heart.

What kind of kisses did he bestow on A'awynn? Were they chaste and innocent, or did his passionate nature and sensual aptitude come out when he kissed her? Christine was sure she would get the chance to find out before her stay here came to an end; and the knowledge of this made her uneasy.

Margarite had never been more happy in her life. Erik was going to marry this stunning woman and Margarite could see the love that shone in her eyes, as well a low-lying, disguised glint of jealousy. It was easy to see that A'awynn loved Erik with everything she had. He had managed to meet a woman and have her fall in love with him in just short of a month's time from leaving Paris; it was wonderful!

Margarite had taken an immediate liking to Brianna, and the two women shared a motherly interest in Erik's welfare. The party made its way through the halls with Brianna and Margarite talking.

A'awynn and Christine headed for the garden room; A'awynn's favorite public room, besides the Conservatory. Ivy and various types of plants and flowers were growing freely in this wonderful room. A fountain was flowing liberally in the middle and the air was slightly humid, allowing the flowers to grow. It was a topical island paradise in the middle of Scotland.

The roof was designed to let the rays of the sun in but not the elements. Butterflies, moths and ladybugs fluttered about just adding to the picturesque beauty surrounding them. The sun was setting and the beautiful canvas of the sky; with the purples, pinks and oranges of the sunset, graced the room in a romantic hue.

A'awynn indicated for Christine to take a seat at a small table by the fountain. The butler served tea and butter cookies and left them.

There was silence between them for what seemed like an eternity, before Christine spoke, "I love him you know…I always will." Christine did not say it with animosity or as a challenge; she just said it with purpose. A'awynn did not speak; she could see that this woman/child had much to say. "I never meant to hurt him." Christine lifted worried eyes to A'awynn, "I did not know how much I loved him until he was no longer in my life…then I knew." Tired tears inched down the girls face and A'awynn could hear the earnestness of her voice.

"I know that you know all about Erik's and my history…please understand that I was and am very young." Christine played with her cup of tea, twirling the cup around on the saucer. "I am still coming to terms with my love for Erik and my love for Raoul…I could have easily married either one." At this, A'awynn's back stiffened and her eyes narrowed slightly.

"Christine, Erik is committed to me now, just as you were to Raoul." She stared Christine down, daring her to challenge the intensity and reality of her words. "We have confessed our love for one another…this will **not** be a marriage of convenience." A'awynn spoke with determined shortness. "I want children with Erik…I am going to spend the rest of my life making that beautiful man see just how desirable and worthy he is."

Christine jerked her head up at the sternness in A'awynn's voice. "I see the questions in your eyes Christine, and the answer is yes…I have seen his entire face at point blank range." A'awynn's voice was stern with conviction. "He is more handsome with just one side of his face than any other man I have ever known…" her eyes danced with the love she felt for him, "…he loves my daughter as though she were his own flesh and blood…he is gentle and strong; formidable and humble." A'awynn stared into Christine's doe eyes, "He is incredibly intelligent and uncannily witty; what more could any woman want?"

Christine broke into a huge smile, "A'awynn, I do believe Erik has meant his match in you…and as much as I wanted to hate you…I find that I cannot."

A'awynn grinned back. "I feel the same about you."

The two young ladies stood and embraced each other and after pulling away, Christine had one last question she wanted to know the answer to, "Is Erik a good kisser? I must know."

A'awynn leaned in and winked at her, "I'll put it this way, I melt from the intensity and my body tingles all over…it is unbelievable how good he is!"

Christine shook her head at this knowledge and knowingly smiled, "I knew it."

Having said all that needed to be said, the ladies headed for the front hall to await the return of Erik and Michél.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It was drawing close to 8:00 p.m., and Erik and Michél finally arrived with their guest in tow. They all made their way through the halls and had just about made it to where everyone was when A'awynn and Christine rounded the corner.

For what seemed like an eternity, they all just stood their ground. It did not take long, and Michél removed himself, saying he was going to go find Kaitlyn. Erik strode forward and put his arms around A'awynn, kissing her on the cheek.

Christine looked at Erik and noticed the joy that was imprinted on his face. This was where he belonged. She walked up and embraced him, breathing in his masculine scent. "Thank you Erik", she whispered as an arm wrapped around her shoulders and Raoul placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Raoul, I would like to introduce you to my bride elect, Lady A'awynn Raelin Shaunessy Yancey." Erik said with a grin, as he drew A'awynn into his embrace and introduced her to Raoul. "My Love, I would like to introduce you to Raoul de Chagny, a recently attained friend of mine and Christine's former fiancée."

Raoul bowed low over A'awynn's hand, "A pleasure, my lady."

A'awynn accepted his gracious bow, but immediately moved closer to Erik. "It is nice to meet you." She looked up into Erik's green depths. Lifting her hand to caress his smooth cheek, she pleaded, "I have missed you; can we have some 'us' time?"

She reached up and placed a kiss on his lips, and Erik forcefully pulled her toward him. He inhaled the soft scent that always accompanied her. His left arm was circled around her back and he gently curved her back over it and cupped her chin with his right hand, caressing its creamy texture. The two people who watched knew, beyond any doubt, that Erik and A'awynn were in love.

Erik claimed her lips in a sensual dance. At the moment, he let the world know that A'awynn was the woman he loved, with every breath he took and every beat of his heart.

Her tongue begged entrance, and Erik obliged; opening his mouth to accept her in a long, slow, wet kiss that made each of them breathe faster in anticipation of things to come. His tongue dominated hers in a mating ritual as his hand tangled itself in her luxurious hair. She made his heart beat faster and stop beating, both at the same time.

Christine and Raoul watched the exchange with equal fascination, but each with different thoughts. Raoul was finally at ease about Erik's true heart. On the way here, Erik had assured him that A'awynn was the woman for him and that they were deeply in love, but Raoul still feared that Erik would exercise his potent attractiveness and win Christine's love all over again. Now, he realized that his fears had been in vain.

Christine felt a little part of her die when she witnessed the passionate exchange between these two, very much in love, people. From the looks of things, Erik mastered the art of kissing and knew how to play A'awynn's mouth with his tongue and lips. Christine had never been privy to that kind of passion before.

Seeing Erik in a passionate embrace brought it all home for her; he was committed to this woman and his life was with her; and they looked absolutely beautiful together. Erik, with his tall, lithe figure and A'awynn with hers; both extremely attractive and well-built – both passionate and uninhibited; their lives together would never be dull or void of passion and fire.

After the initial shock of seeing Erik in another woman's arms wore off, Christine focused on the fact that Raoul had come. They made eye contact and each smiled, knowing that Erik had done this on purpose.

Raoul came to her and pulled her to him, placing a chaste kiss upon her cheek. "I left Paris for good Christine; I have been disowned; lost my title and lands." He took both of her hands in his, "But none of that matters…because you are the only thing that sustains me and lifts me up out of the muck that life has thrown me." He kissed her more boldly this time, "I will not lose you. You are far more important to me than any title or lands."

Christine shed happy tears as she realized that he had wanted to do what he did. He had given up everything for her…once again, a man had lost himself for her sake.

"We will make a new start here, in Scotland." Raoul turned to Erik, who reluctantly released A'awynn to take Raoul's outstretched hand, "Erik took the money that he had given us to build the opera house and gave it to us to start a new life…with it I can buy a title if you wish, or we can live as common people with means."

Christine looked between the two men that mean the most in her life. She went to Erik and pulled him in for a cleansing hug. "You have become the dearest, most thoughtful, truly beautiful man I have ever had the privilege of knowing."

She caressed his unblemished cheek, marveling at how handsome he was. "Be my best friend Erik and keep my head out of the clouds for I love you dearly…you gave me wings with which I flew. Thank you for being who you are and for noticing me, training me, and eventually caring for me enough to let me make my own choices; even if they were painful." Her smile was exhilarating and contagious.

Turning to Raoul, she reached up and kissed his smiling mouth, pleasantly shocking him with the sweep of her tongue. "Having a title is of no importance to me, and money is merely an annoying necessity; as long as I am here among the two men I love most in the world, I care not for anything else."

The four of them laughed as if they were old friends and walked toward the gardens, enjoying the moonlit night.

Margarite had been listening and watching from the corner of the hall, out of sight. She watched as two of three people she loved most in this world, made peace with each other and ultimately, with the world. She followed them into the garden and slowly eased up on them.

Christine saw her coming and ran and embraced her. "Erik sent for Raoul and all has been resolved, the wedding is back on!"

Margarite shined with joy for the young couple that had overcome family hardships to get where they were. She also knew that a part of Christine would always belong to Erik, no matter how hard she tried to disguise it.

As if reading her mind, Christine commented while casting Erik a fleeing look, "I have both of the men I love most in the world back in my life. I will not ever take that for granted again." Christine gave her one last hug and returned to Raoul's waiting arms.

Margarite turned her attention to Erik. Her loving heart both ached and rejoiced for him. She ached because he no longer needed her. What role did she play? He had his real mother, who loved him beyond measure; he had A'awynn and Lacey, a family whose very lives were with his; he had his sisters and brothers-in-law that filled that void he had always had for siblings…and now, he had Christine. Where did Margarite fit in?

She rejoiced for him because, finally, he had found the love that would sustain him through the remainder of his life. A love that shone in every chance eye contact he made with A'awynn; a love that was tangible and real, not conjured up by a hypnotic voice or melody. Margarite had not seen that in the looks he had given Christine all those weeks ago, nor had she seen it many times at all.

As she drew closer to A'awynn and Erik, she watched his strong arm go around her waist and pull her toward him. Christine and Raoul had gone off in a different direction, and Erik only had eyes for A'awynn; even when Christine was close.

Margarite watched as Erik caressed A'awynn's left cheek and ran his thumb over the surface of her full bottom lip, A'awynn's mouth opening slightly at the exquisite contact and her eyes drifting closed in pleasure.

He lowered his mouth to the curve of her cheek and placed soft, quiet kisses on its satiny surface. He worked his way to the corner of her mouth, pulling her bottom lip into his mouth and gently sucking it; making A'awynn groan with pleasure.

His excruciatingly, talented mouth finally claimed A'awynn's in a kiss that promised years of happiness and love, as Erik would give all he possessed to keep A'awynn by his side. The kiss was slow and beautiful as their tongues melded together in sweet harmony; a mating of each essence, a joining of souls.

Margarite tried to pull her eyes away, but found that she could not. The passion that she had known existed in Erik was shining forth in the way he kissed A'awynn. Margarite had once longed for those kisses herself, knowing that Erik would awaken a flame in her that would not easily be quenched; but those times were not to be and Margarite had buried her longings deep within her, not to be remembered; until this very moment.

She cleared her throat and waited until Erik languidly ended the kiss, leaving both A'awynn and Margarite breathless. He turned his passionate eyes to Margarite, continuing to hold A'awynn's heated body to his. "Margarite, it is good to see you."

His voice was deep and seductive, as the affects of the kiss were still working their way through his body; he dared not turn and face her straight on…how embarrassing.

Margarite came to him and put her arms around him, hugging him to her. Erik wrapped his free arm around her, hugging her to him. "Erik, you have no idea how happy I am for you." Margarite lifted her eyes to him and smiled a genuinely happy smile.

She focused her eyes on A'awynn, "You are, quite possibly, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen; and the two of you together…magnificent. For years, I tried to convince him of his attractiveness of face, body and character; the mask did not even matter."

Margarite placed her hand on A'awynn's arm"You have achieved a true miracle by making him realize that he is worthy of your love, and the love of others…thank you, my dear."

Erik wrinkled his brow at Margarite's statement, "I am willing to admit that I may be passable in the looks department…at least on the left side." His playful eyes danced in moonlight. "But ladies please, one body is much like the next." Erik stated matter-of-factly.

Margarite began to protest, but A'awynn beat her to it, "Erik, do you think all women look the same when it comes to figures?"

Erik cocked his head at A'awynn, knowing she was goading him, "That's different…" his statement made her giggle.

"It is not different Erik." A'awynn ravished his body with her eyes and said with an affirmative chuckle, "If all men's bodies looked like yours, clothes would be outlawed!" Erik just grinned at her.

A'awynn looked to Margarite and found her nodding her head in agreement. Margarite's eyes shimmied up Erik's body lazily, making him squirm a little under their intensity. "Erik, from the time you were sixteen years old, I have desired you…"

Erik scowled curiously at her, with unasked questions in his eyes. "You were, and still are, the most provocative man I have ever known. You personify power, intrigue, sexuality, intelligence, masculinity, and just a touch of danger…"

She looked shyly at him, a look Erik had seen many times, but had been too naive to recognize, "I'm sorry Margarite…I never knew." Erik took her hand and brought it to his lips, caressing it softly. "I always thought of you as a sister…I would not have dreamed of reading more into it than that."

"It just was not meant to be Erik, A'awynn was born to be your wife…and besides, I am seven years your senior." Margarite stood there looking at the man who had, on many occasions, graced her dreams; first, when she was younger and again after her husband died. He still made her heart race and she always felt a little light headed in his commanding presence. Erik bowed and once again pulled A'awynn to him, letting her know that he could not get enough of her.

The two women embraced, and the three of them headed for the castle; talking about old times and faded dreams. Margarite excused herself and headed for her room. Erik walked A'awynn to her suite, and followed her in. A'awynn went to her bedchamber to slip into a more comfortable set of clothing.

For Erik, the first order of business was to look in on Lacey. He walked into her room and sat down on the edge of her bed, just watching her for a few minutes as the even breathing comforted Erik's heart.

He tentatively reached out and brushed his finger, knuckle side up, against her cheek; relishing in its unblemished sweetness. He pushed a blond curl off her cheek and felt tears come to his eyes. When had he managed to fall in love with this little girl? She had touched his withering heart in a way that no other ever had.

A'awynn had come to the door quietly and watched as Erik gently, tenderly caressed her daughter. With a swell in her heart, she realized that Lacey was now his daughter too; for she could see in the gentle caress of his hand that he loved her as a father should. A'awynn held her breath as Erik bent and placed a sweet kiss on her forehead, lingering momentarily to take in her fresh, little girl scent.

To her hearts delight, A'awynn watched Erik slip down to his knees beside her bed and lift his head toward heaven as his prayer was sent on angels wings…

"**Heavenly Father,**

"**This dear child, whose innocence and kind spirit have penetrated this jaded heart in my chest, has become so dear to me that I cannot imagine life without her.**

"**Give me wisdom and discernment as I seek to become a father to her. Help me to be like You Lord, the one true Father of us all."**

Erik paused mid-prayer to wipe the tears that were running freely down his face and threatening to drop off the tip of his nose.

"**Forgive me Father, for all the times that I sought to end this life You have given me…lost in a lake full of self-pity and loathing, loathing that I often focused on You.**

"**I do not deserve this chance at happiness and love that You have seen fit, in all Your infinite wisdom, grace, and mercy to give me. But I vow that I will be the best father to Lacey and husband to A'awynn that I can be…and I will be the spiritual leader of this family, as Your Word says I should be.**

"**Protect us Father, from all outside evil and keep us in Your tender and loving care. Thank You for the love that A'awynn has so freely offered me, without any hesitation; I will forever praise You for that gift.**

**In the name of Jesus, I pray…Amen"**

After that sacred moment, all that was left for A'awynn to do was take his hand and lead him from the room. She lifted her teary eyes to his and softly placed a kiss upon his cheek. "I love you Erik, more and more as each day passes…tomorrow, we go riding." She kissed him one last time on the cheek and watched as he walked toward his suite.

He turned and flashed her a mesmerizing smile that took her breath away. "I love you too, A'awynn…" and he was gone.

TBC

**Chapter 38 preview – Date on horseback.**


	38. Chapter 38

**Thank you for the reviews…I hope my story is still holding your interest. There are a few more chapters left and an epilogue. I am trying to put the thoughts together in my head for another story, so bear with me.**

"Me Sexy? I'm not sexy at all!" Gerry Butler on himself. (Well, I've got news for him…think again Gerry!)

CHAPTER 38

"**Mature" content later in chapter…sexual overtones and some sexual terms.**

Thursday morning started much like any other morning, except that Erik awakened with a smile on his face. He could not remember a time in his life that he'd had so much hope for the future; he was almost afraid to dwell on it for fear it would disappear. He bathed and shaved, ran his fingers through his damp hair and dressed in his black riding outfit.

After finding out that A'awynn, Kaitlyn and Christine had all gone to Glasgow for the day; he went into the dining room and found his mother, Margarite, his father, and several of his nieces and nephews enjoying a mound of warm, fluffy pancakes. He poured himself a glass of orange juice and sat down to enjoy a couple of them also.

"Well son, good to see you up and about so early this morning." Alastair's tone held a hint of mirth and Erik lifted ambiguous eyes to him.

"I am always up this early father…I am just not always in the main rooms at this time." Erik got the impression that his father had caught on to the fact that he and A'awynn were developing a relationship.

Erik inclined his head toward his father and leaned in to speak with him. "I would like to ride over to Carwell this morning and have a look around. There may be some work that needs to be done, and I want to get an overview of the servants and staff."

Erik had been over there a couple of times, but had only viewed it from the outside; he had no idea what the inside looked like and whether it needed some tender loving care. Father and son both lifted their heads at the same to time to see Raoul and Michél enter.

"Good morning." They both said in unison. Raoul came in and gave Erik and handshake and Alastair a head nod

"Would you two care to join us as we ride over to Carwell Estate where Erik and A'awynn will be making their home?''Alastair asked.

There was no hesitation on the part of either of them. Erik turned toward Raoul as the younger man sat down beside him, "What do you suppose your fiancée, my fiancée and my sister are talking about…"

Raoul dropped his head in defeat with a whatever-it-is-it-can't-be-good look plastered all over his face, Erik nudged Raoul's shoulder and grinned helplessly, "…I shudder to think of the possibilities."

They finished breakfast and took a carriage ride over to Carwell. It wasn't a great distance, the ride took about twenty minutes and they found themselves standing in the main hall of a vast structure.

Erik was overall impressed with the architectural design, especially after finding out that it had been designed by his father. He was pleased with the color scheme and could see that great care had been given to the grounds in the absence of a tenant.

The music room was of great interest to him and it needed only a few minor adjustments. He gave the instructions to the contractor that he had summoned and the vendor from the musical supply company was given an order for instruments, parchment, pens and any other supplies Erik could think of.

He found the room that would be Lacey's and gave strict instructions as to the color and designs and the workers started immediately. The room that he and A'awynn would share was going to be an elegant black, grey and white scheme. Touches of eastern culture would be filtered in, compliments of his stay in Istanbul; and a large, deep bed with black and grey marble posts was ordered to be constructed. The furniture would all be black marble and glass with white curtains and table dressings. The master bath would have the same colors and a massive garden tub in white marble. It would be a couple of weeks before they moved in, so the work would all be done on time.

The morning passed in to afternoon with the men surveying the gardens and massive stables. Raoul was in awe at the size of the Lauchlan estate. He had thought his family was wealthy, but they had nothing compared to Erik's family. The gardens were elegant and well groomed, the castle was ornate and beautiful and the stables would make a king envious. It was ironic really, everyone's lives had been completely turned upside down in a months time.

The household servants were a stealth and pleasant group. There were about 25 servants and a main butler and house mistress; a husband and wife duo named Duff and Pixie McHugh. Erik instructed them to follow the instructions of the lady of the house when the time came, she would be the one to answer to. Everyone was enthralled by the new lord of the manor and were excited at the prospect of serving him and his new family.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The women had been having a "get acquainted" day; sharing stories of life experiences, travels and friendship. Christine found that she related well to A'awynn and Kaitlyn, even though they were older than she was. She found she liked them both very much. At this moment, they were sitting in a coffee shop, laughing at the faces a little baby was making at Kaitlyn.

A'awynn had laughed so hard her sides hurt and she could not remember laughing that hard for some time. She took another look at the baby boy with longing in her eyes. "I want at least three children; Lacey has been such a joy, but I have never had a baby."

Kaitlyn shook her head in agreement, "How many children does Erik want?"

A'awynn gave a short, confirming laugh before replying, "Erik can't even believe I want to marry him…I haven't even broached the subject of having children!"

Christine had been quietly listening, for the most part, but her unassuming, timid voice spoke barely above a whisper, "Why does he think himself so disgusting? He is by far the most attractive, sensuous man I have ever known."

She had said it so matter-of-factly that A'awynn almost did not hear her; but she had, and she turned to Christine with resolute eyes. "He is the most attractive and sensuous man; but as he was growing up, instead of hearing affirming words of praise and comfort, he was told he was no better than an animal; he was taught that he was unworthy of basic human love, affection, touch or comfort."

A'awynn tried her best not to blame Christine for any of Erik's mental and physical anguish; after all, she was just a child. "He was beaten when he displayed any humanity at all and eventually just shut down inside."

Tears were slowly trickling down her cheeks, "Margarite was the first ray of sunshine in his dreary life and, I daresay, the first chance he had to actually display emotions and feelings…she let him use music as his outlet and allowed him to grow as a person; but inside, he still saw himself as nothing better than a beast."

A'awynn closed her eyes and pictured the first time she had seen Erik, "I think I fell in love with him the first time I saw him…even though I had no idea who he was."

A'awynn smiled a brilliant smile, "He was riding Nucis bareback across the open fields and I have never seen anything so magnificent in all my life…all I knew was that I would never forget the sight."

A'awynn opened her dreamy eyes and focused them on Christine, "I felt a sudden attraction to him; like we were destined to be together…I loved him even then."

Her face was shining with an inner light, "The first kiss was…was…there really are not words to describe how wonderful it was!...and every one since then!"

A'awynn's animated face was bright, "He is an expert at everything he does…I can't wait for the wedding night!" All the women burst into a fit of giggles at that; paid the bill and headed home.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Erik entered the stables and found Nucis enjoying a bucket of feed. He approached the black stallion and talked in soothing tones as he brushed his shiny coat. The two shared a special bond that only comes from mutual respect and love; and Erik treasured this animal as a member of the family.

He was in the process of finishing the rub down when A'awynn walked into the stables and came near. Nucis was so large, that a tumultuous tremor ran through her body. The power the stallion possessed was present in every sinewy muscle that moved under Erik's brushing motions. She was mesmerized by the long, elegant strokes that Erik used and the grace with which he moved.

"That horse loves you…as sure as if you were his flesh and blood." Her words startled Erik and he quickly turned toward her, taking in her long, brown leather skirt and black boots; and the white, lacey blouse that emphasized her ample bosom quite nicely, to Erik's delight.

Erik's voice was breathy and low; filled with desire, "We have an understanding; he doesn't ask questions and I won't bore him with the answers." Erik smiled as A'awynn laughed at his humor.

She moved toward him with purpose in her steps, "I love it when you smile, it sends little bubbles of joy up my spine." She caressed his cheek and watched as he leaned into her hand, accepting her touch without reservation.

Erik pulled himself out of the daze her touch had put him in, "Which horse would you like to ride so I can ready it?"

A'awynn smirked and shook her head, "Oh no you don't, you are not getting out of this one Erik Bryant; I am riding on Nucis with you so that I can feel your gorgeous body pressed up against me." Erik tried to calm the nervous jolt that shot through him.

He accepted her as she hugged him to her, wrapping his arms around her and breathing in the fresh smell of her hair. His voice was filled with unrelenting passion, "A'awynn…you tempt me sorely…I am a mere man of flesh and blood."

The green of his eyes had deepened to reflect the desire raging through his virgin body, "You are a wicked, wicked woman." Erik's lips brushed hers ever so gently, soliciting a moan from her.

Erik mounted Nucis and swept A'awynn into the position in front of him and between his muscular thighs. She leaned against him, placing her hands securely on his thighs…and Erik inwardly groaned. This was going to be the sweetest torture he had ever had to endure.

He eased Nucis out of the stables and into a slow trot as they headed for the great outdoors. "Where would you like to go A'awynn?"

She turned her head up and looked at him, "Take me to the brook, I want to listen to its age old song."

She leaned back against him, allowing her head to rest in the crook of his shoulder, "If we go that far out, it will be really late when we return." Erik addressed this issue as if he felt it should concern her.

Her soft, leisurely voice graced his ears, "I'm not going anywhere…are you?" Erik shook his head, rejoicing in the freedom this woman gave him. "I want to see your eyes dance in the moonlight; I want to wish upon a falling star; I want to dance on the clouds and talk to the man on the moon; but most of all…I want to do all of this with you."

Erik slowed Nucis to a cantor and enjoyed the feel of her against him. It hadn't been long ago that Erik would have only dreamed of moments like this; he had long ago given up hope of ever having love and romance in his life. He realized now that he had never even given it a chance, really. He had considered himself unlovable and unworthy, and the world as a whole had never done anything to refute his belief. He locked himself as far away from the world as he could and went about stirring up trouble to assuage his loneliness and self-hatred.

That path had almost cost him his sanity, and in the end, it would have cost him his life. Erik was thankful that God had been there all along, forgiving him of his impudence and lack of wisdom concerning Him. God had saved him in more ways than one, and it started with Him saving Erik from his worst enemy…himself.

Now, here he was…with a beautiful woman in his arms; a woman that wanted to marry him for love and not any other reason. She had leaned back against him in a totally relaxed state, and her eyes were closed; allowing Erik to gaze upon her without hindrance.

He had, for as long as he could remember, felt that no woman could ever compare to Christine; but this was one time that Erik did not mind being wrong. Where Christine was prudent and genteel, A'awynn was feisty and playful; where Christine was demure and tame, A'awynn was bold and spirited; where Christine was indecisive and childlike, A'awynn was confident and very much a woman; these were the qualities that committed him to her.

Of course, the male in him admired her long, sinewy limbs; her slender, but soft womanly curves; her soft-as-satin auburn hair and her creamy skin. Everything he wasn't…she was, and he wanted to delve into her with abandonment and never come up for air.

She had completely transformed him; him…the Phantom, the Opera Ghost, Angel of Music, the Devil's Child; whatever he had been…she had completely changed him. To the naked eye, the changes were subtle; but to Erik…they were huge. He no longer carried a plethora of agonizing, self-destructive thoughts; he no longer seethed with bitterness at a world that had antagonized and belittled him; he no longer desired to hide away in a dark dungeon and rot, with only his inner turmoil to keep him company.

He marveled at how such a massive change and been instigated by such a tiny woman; not that she was tiny in stature or character, but compared to the mountain of issues she had faced in him, she was tiny.

Erik chuckled at the reality of it; he had known her less than a week, but she had taken what was once darkness and gloom and made it light and hope…he would spend whatever remaining time he was granted on this earth, to help her see what an influence she had been on his life.

Normally, silence was foreboding and eerie; but Erik loved what was being said in the calm, serene contact between their bodies. He skimmed his hands faintly over her arms as she leaned into him even more. His left arm encircled her waist, securing her against him in a protective manner. His right hand rose to her soft, silken tresses and gently manipulated her head to the left, exposing the sheer expanse of her creamy neck. His long, articulate fingers caressed her flesh with mind-blowing tenderness and A'awynn moaned with pleasure.

Erik lowered his lips to the spot where his fingers had just been and floated his lips over her heated skin; running on instinct, Erik ran the warm tip of his tongue along the juncture between her ear and her shoulder. He felt her shiver in his arms from the ecstasy he was creating with his mouth.

His passion-laden voice only added to her pleasure, "You will have to stop me if I am coming on too strong; I am not sure I am capable of pulling myself away." He never lost stride with his tongue and mouth as he spoke, he was already a master of her body.

A'awynn turned slightly in his arms so that she could look him in the eyes, "Erik, if you stop…I shall have to beat you profusely about the face and neck…."

Never taking her eyes from his face, she slid her gaze down to his masterful lips and opened her mouth slightly, beckoning him to come and explore. He wound his hand gently around her neck, cupping her head in his hand, and slowly pushed her mouth toward his.

His lips barely grazed hers as he intricately worked her mouth with his. He gently sucked her bottom lip, nipping its moist flesh with his teeth and then laving at it with his tongue, easing the pleasurable sting. A'awynn surrendered to the passion coursing through her veins; how did he become so good at this in such a short time?

She lay back across his left arm, allowing him a delectable view of her ample breasts as their subtle, hardened peaks pressed firmly against the material of her blouse. She desired him and this knowledge filled Erik with male pride. A woman, not just any woman, but a beautiful woman, desired his touch…his attentions…his kisses.

Erik took her mouth in a hungry kiss, supporting her head with his strong arms as he delved into her softness. His tongue left no doubt of the demands of his body, as he dominated her equally thrusting tongue. A deep, seductive moan sounded in Erik's throat and he lifted her into his arms, draping her across his hips. A'awynn smiled with female pride when she felt the obvious sign of Erik's arousal pressing boldly against her soft, shapely backside. The lull of Nucis' slow but determined cantor only added to the heat in Erik's groin, making him flush with desire.

Erik pulled his mouth from hers, willing his body to behave. "Do you know what you do to me?" Erik rubbed his smooth cheek against the creamy surface of hers.

A'awynn purred with feminine power, "Yes, I do Erik…and I will continue to do it...you have the same effect on me." She ran her tongue seductively around the outline of his ear; relishing the moan that he gave.

His eyes were half-mass as his heart beat frantically in his chest. His right hand inched around her waist and came to rest just below the swell of her breasts. The bad girl in her yearned for him to cup her heavy fullness in his hand and ease the ache that was throbbing there, but he settled for raking his thumb along the lower surface of her breast, teasing her and making her squirm with frustration.

Erik opened his heavy eyelids and noticed that they had come upon the brook, and Nucis came to a halt. Erik reluctantly allowed A'awynn to set back from him and he descended to the ground, his aching, throbbing erection begging for release. He reached up and pulled her down, purposefully rubbing her soft curves against his hard surface, making his desire known.

They walked hand-in-hand down to the water, listening to the song that the water made as it beat against the rocks; it was the most relaxing sound that Erik had ever heard. The moon shimmered in the night sky and the stars winked at the couple as they enjoyed the beauty of the night.

They laid the blanket on the ground and sat upon it; A'awynn leading into Erik's chest as he supported himself on his arms. He breathed in the freshness of the damp, summer night and listened to the sonnet that the owls, crickets and wolves made. There was nothing like it…anywhere. The only words to describe its sensuous pull were words that he had sworn he would never sing again…but that was a lifetime ago…

"_**Night time sharpens; heightens each sensation.**_

_**Darkness stirs, and wakes imagination.**_

_**Silently the senses abandon their defenses…"**_

The magnetic passion in his voice sent chills up her spine and she closed her eyes at the sheer magic of the moment.

"_**Slowly; gently, night infers its splendor.**_

_**Grasp it; sense it, tremulous and tender.**_

_**Turn your face away from the garish light of day,**_

_**Turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light;**_

_**And listen to the music of the night."**_

Erik looked at A'awynn as she leaned against him, lost in the beauty of his voice. He sang with the same passion and fire that he played the piano.

"_**Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams,**_

_**purge your thoughts of the life you knew before.**_

_**Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar,**_

_**And you'll live as you've never lived before."**_

Erik lifted his hand and ran his fingers softly over the surface of her cheek, still mesmerized by the knowledge that this woman loved him.

"_**Softly; deftly, music shall caress you;**_

_**Hear it, feel it, secretly possess you.**_

_**Open up your mind… let your fantasies unwind**_

_**In this darkness that you know you cannot fight…**_

_**the darkness of the music of the night."**_

He deftly touched her cool skin as she leaned against him in a trance.

"_**Let your mind start to journey to a strange, new world…**_

_**Leave all thoughts of the life you knew before.**_

_**Let your soul take you where you long to be…**_

_**Only then… can you belong to me."**_

The last musical phrase was sung so softly that A'awynn could barely hear it, but she knew that he spoke of the commitment they had to each other.

"_**Floating; falling, sweet intoxication,**_

_**Touch me, trust me, savor each sensation…**_

_**Let the dream begin…let your darker side give in**_

_**To the power of the music that I write…**_

_**The power of the music of the night."**_

A'awynn opened her eyes and pulled back from Erik, he looked like night itself; seductive and secretive; serene and haunted; she reached her hand to his cheek.

"_**You alone can make my song take flight…"**_

_**Help me make the music of the night."**_

She sat silently for a few moments after Erik quit singing, words just seemed so inadequate. Quiet, majestic tears strolled down her cheeks as she saw the night through the eyes of Erik.

"You wrote that, didn't you?" A'awynn was discovering the depths that this man possessed. "I will never grow weary of hearing you sing; your voice would make the angels cry."

Erik nodded and willed away the tears that threatened, "I wrote it many months ago…for Christine; now, I find that I cannot even picture her face anymore…only yours."

A'awynn stroked his cheek and caressed his lips with her thumb. She gently brought his mouth to hers, coaxing his lips apart with the warm tip of her tongue. Erik gently laid her back on the blanket and pulled her to halfway beneath him, never allowing her mouth to leave his.

He skillfully made love to her mouth, drawing moans from her that would have awakened the whole house. The kisses were getting very heated and Erik was becoming more and more aroused; painfully so. He ended the kiss, stood up and drew A'awynn into his arms, carrying her to Nucis.

"We must cease this or I will not be responsible for my actions…" Erik grinned seductively at her."Two more days, A'awynn, and you will be mine."

A'awynn chuckled lightly, "and you will be mine!"

They rode off toward the castle and when Erik stood at her door, he kissed her goodnight; making her melt once more. "Good night my love…I will see you tomorrow evening. I will be at your door around 8:00 p.m." Erik stated while caressing her chin with his thumb and forefinger. He gently placed a kiss on the tip of her pert nose and quietly left.

Unfortunately, tomorrow was filled with catering people, servers, chefs and bakers, the orchestra, the vicar and the rehearsal tomorrow night…passion would just have to take a vacation until tomorrow night.

TBC

**Chapter 39 preview – Erik and Vicar Flynn McCairn have a heart-to-heart.**


	39. Chapter 39

**This chapter is a transition chapter, Erik must come to terms with his darkness…and he turns to God in his need. I hope you enjoy, even if you do not share the same beliefs I do.**

**Welcome to Acrollo, thank you for picking up my story and reading. Your suggestion was voiced earlier and I remedied it in the chapters following. I do plan to go back and repost the chapters so that they are easier for those who tune in later.**

**And eriksangelofvoice, I love that you compared my romance to that of the novels. I used to be pretty addicted to those things; they certainly do know how to get your blood pumping! Enjoy what's coming!**

**Forgotten Sorceress; I love your reviews! They really lift me up! Yes, I did have Marek in mind, but I also had Gerry's portrayal of Dracula in mind. He looked SOOOOOOOOOOO HOTTTTTTTTTTT in that movie! He is the only part of that movie worth watching. In Dracula 2000, Gerry had no facial hair but he had the long, wavy hair and that arrogant, know-it-all stance that I picture Erik having. Either way, the man (Gerry) could make rocks melt…(Whew, is it getting hot in here?)**

**Pertie and OperaLover – I will certainly do my best to make the wedding night a memorable one for everyone, especially Erik and A'awynn. I will post the PG-13 version first and then, directly after it…I will post the mature version with warnings galore. That way, someone who decides to read this story two years from now, will have access to the mature versions should they want them. I will repost the other chapter the same way.**

"The roll which Miss Daae plays calls for charm and appeal; the roll of the pageboy is silent…which makes my casting in a word…IDEAL!" Gerry Butler as The Phantom (Erik) in Andrew Lloyd Webbers, "The Phantom of the Opera".

CHAPTER 39

Friday was hectic, to say the least. Despite the rattled nerves, screaming kids, and strange faces; Brianna was having the time of her life. The chef had finalized the preparations for the meal and would return first thing in the morning to do the cooking.

The baker had made the most exquisite cake. The six-tier main cake was adorned elegantly with the choicest black orchids and lovebirds on top. A waterfall tapered off both sides, running down into the pool filled with rose petals. Bridges extended off both sides and led to the three-tier side cakes decorated in the same fashion as the middle cake. It was fantastic.

Erik had been in the orchestra pit most of the morning, arranging the seats and making sure that there were enough to seat the entire orchestra. He moved from there to checking the tuning on the piano and he could not resist picking up the violin. He lovingly cradled the instrument in his large hands and slipped the edge under his chin. A sweet, soaring melody rang out, a completely original piece that Erik made up as he went along. Those within hearing distance marveled at the beauty and flexibility of the song and of the man playing it.

A'awynn was busy all morning with the dressmaker. Final measurements were checked and the overall shape and fit was fine-tuned. Every shoe style known to the brides of the world was displayed and A'awynn had to pick a pair; that alone took two hours! The flowers were lovingly brought in and placed in their designated areas, and A'awynn was in charge of seeing to it that they were watered and kept pert looking.

Erik made it a point of riding out to Carwell and checking the final touches that were being completed. The stodginess and stuffiness had been replaced by a light, airy atmosphere that personified love and happiness. Erik had succeeded in capturing the joy that A'awynn and Lacey had brought to his life in the colors and schemes that he had designed for the rooms. He was pleased with the progress and results.

There was only one thing left for him to do before he entered into this marriage. He climbed back on Nucis and headed east. Flynn McCairn, the vicar of Berwithshire Chapel, was awaiting Erik's arrival and the soul searching issues that Erik sought to resolve.

The church was quiet and sacred as Erik entered. The stain-glass windows depicted the stages of the cross and the colors were brilliant and beautiful. Erik walked up the isle without making a sound, a skill he had acquired years ago. He stood in front of the alter table and looked up at the cross that ornamented the wall above the choir loft.

Tears proceeded down his cheek as he experienced the quiet sanctity of peace in its many forms.

A'awynn gave his heart peace with her love. She had taken him to places he never dreamed he could go.

Lacey gave his mind peace, she was proof to Erik that not all was bad in the world; and that some good can come from bad situations.

His family gave his life peace. They filled a void in his life that had almost destroyed him.

But the peace he needed most, only God could give; the peace in his soul.

Erik knelt down at the alter, knowing that there were issues he needed to set straight. For what seemed like hours, Erik silently cried cleansing tears of reconciliation. Vicar McCairn watched as the broad shoulders of Lord Erik Lauchlan shook with the force of his inner baptism.

The vicar approached furtively, not wanting to disturb Erik, and sank into the pew behind him; but Erik's hearing was superb and he turned his tear-laden face to the vicar. Erik slipped into the pew beside the vicar and regained his composure.

His eyes still fixed on the cross, Erik began, "All of my life, up until a month ago, was spent violently and belligerently blaming God for my life." Erik dropped his eyes, focusing on the alter table, "I vehemently spewed vulgar innuendos at Him, daring Him to strike me down." Erik turned his deep green gaze to Flynn, "but instead of giving up on me when the rest of the world abandoned me, He stood quietly beside me, waiting for me to acknowledge Him…"

Erik smirked sadly, "…I accused Him of mocking me and creating me simply as a joke; making this face as a reminder to the world that hell does exist…" Erik turned his hurting eyes to Flynn and his question tore at Flynn's heart, "Is there a heaven for creatures like me?"

Erik's shoulders slightly slumped forward and he dropped his head and closed his eyes. Flynn put a steady but firm hand on Erik's shoulder. His words resounded off Erik's still doubting heart. "Erik, none of us know why we are called to endure the trials that are allowed into our lives…we are just simply asked to have faith in the Father that we will be better for the journey."

Flynn squeezed the arm that he touched, "As for being worthy of heaven…it is not a matter of worth Erik." Erik's head lifted slightly, taking heed to the vicar's words, "The Word of God is literally full of colorful, less-than-perfect men and women who chose to follow the will of God in their lives…even at the cost of fame, fortune, family and friends…and some, even at the cost of their lives."

Erik processed these thoughts as the vicar continued, "Saint Paul is a great example. We first meet him when he is named Saul and his purpose and passion was persecuting the Christians…and he was good at it." The vicar smiled as he unfolded the story to Erik, "Then, as is often the case, God altered his life on a road…Paul became a mighty warrior for God and His church."

The vicar regarded Erik with interested eyes. "Search the Book Erik…there are prostitutes, murderers, liars, deceivers, doubters…you name it, it's in there." He paused for a minute and then continued, "Consider King David; he lusted after another man's wife, claimed her in his passion, and then had her husband murdered after enticing him to sleep with her one last time so that the child she carried would be considered her husbands..." Erik's only reaction was a lifted eyebrow, "…and yet God called David a man after His own heart."

Erik considered the examples that Flynn had presented to him. These men were tainted with blood on their hands, and yet they had found rest and peace with God. Maybe…

Erik's thoughts were interrupted by Flynn's words, "None of us are worthy of heaven Erik. God offers it to us through the forgiveness of our sins by His grace…found in the blood that covered the cruel cross…all you have to do is believe this with all your heart and let Christ reside in your heart as your Savior and Lord."

Erik understood all that was said to him and he did accept the fact that God loved him, despite his horrid face and actions. He had opened his heart to these truths and accepted them. Now he just had to rid his soul of the dark stain that remained; and as was said, confession was good for the soul.

One guileless tear fell from the corner of Erik's eye. So much had been lifted from his shoulders with the love that God had given him through A'awynn, Lacey and his family; but he could not forgive himself for the mess he had made of his life and those he had manipulated and condemned. He could not forget the darkness he had so readily welcomed in the grip of substance abuse and loathing.

Erik dutifully began his squalid tale of drug addiction, self-loathing, and manipulation. He took Flynn into a world of fathomless evil and gripping hatred, where grown men trembled at shadows that loomed in the darkness. He told of his involvement and subsequent mastering of torture methods while in Turkey and Persia; leaving out the maimed and bleeding bodies he still saw in his nightmares.

No, he had not murdered anyone. He had killed his master in the Gypsy camp, but that was self-defense…as was Bouquet. But his conscience would not let him rest, as he had caused countless hours of pain and torture for unsuspecting victims in the name of justice. His talents and gifts had given him power and the respect of those who would be his victims; he was feared and awed at the same time. No…forgiveness did not come easily.

Flynn sat back in the pew and crossed his legs. He was not here to judge Erik, these were deeds done before Erik had reconciled with God, and Flynn had to help him understand that. "Erik, you must understand that all of us have done things that we are not pleased with or that make us ashamed to show our face at times." Flynn kept speaking as Erik centered his gaze on him, "Sin is sin. There is no big sin or little sin in God's eyes…they all weigh the same on His scales…"

Erik scowled thoughtfully at this statement, "So you are telling me that a murderer is not worse in God's eyes than a liar?"

Flynn leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees and resting his chin on his hands, "That is what I am saying." Flynn smiled genuinely at Erik, "You are no worse of a sinner than I am…it is society as a whole that determines which is worse; being a liar or a murderer; a thief or a cheat."

Flynn fell silent for a few moments, giving Erik a chance to reflect on these thoughts. Erik looked unflinchingly into the vicar's eyes as he spoke, "Do you honestly believe that I can be a good man someday…a man worthy of Lady A'awynn and the love she brings me?"

Flynn returned Erik's intrepid gaze, speaking with diligence, "You ARE a good man Erik. I feel in you as clearly as I see you sitting there. You took the only life you knew and lived it…as best you could…now you're here amongst family and about to embark on the wonderful path of marriage…it seems to me that God has rewarded you for your perseverance through tribulation." He leaned over and squeezed Erik's shoulder with his strong hands, "take what He gives you and make it yours…your life can be the gift you give Him back."

Burdens that had been pressing him down for years seemed suddenly lighter as he relinquished them to God. Finally reaching a point in life when he did not have to bear the weight of the world on his shoulders, Erik's soul was free.

"Let it go Erik…let the darkness and gloom of the past be washed away from your heart with the knowledge of God's love and open your heart fully to the love of A'awynn." Flynn patted Erik's back and concluded, "Accept this second chance that you have been given and make the best of it…you deserve it no more or no less than anyone else"

Erik stood, and in a rare gesture of gratitude, pulled the vicar into a tight hug. Feeling free to do that was a new freedom for Erik. He pulled back and smiled gently, "I will see you tonight Vicar McCairn, thank you for your time."

"Good day Erik…until tonight." Flynn disappeared through the door and Erik exited the church.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

When Erik arrived back at the castle, he went to the music room to escape the hordes of strangers that were invading them. He went into the back room where all the music was stored and just sat, in complete and utter silence.

Tomorrow…tomorrow he would become a husband and father. Erik laughed at the idea; not a humorous laugh of hatred, but a laugh of complete acceptance of an otherwise unexplainable fact. Tomorrow, Erik – The Phantom, The Angel of Music, The Opera Ghost – would become a married man. Who would have thought it?

Would he be a good husband and father? How does one know this? Would he be an adequate lover for A'awynn? Would he be able to pleasure her? Could he have children of his own? This question baffled Erik because he remembered the brutal sexual assaults of Boris and how the man had taken great pleasure in causing extreme pain to Erik. Hopefully, there had been no permanent damage done. Should he be upfront with A'awynn about the brutal raping of his body? That was something he would have to consider.

He had certainly read enough racy novels and technique books to know how to give pleasure, but putting all of that into practice was different. He had seen pictures and even seen the actual act in dark corners of hidden corridors in the opera house. But those were acts of lust not love, and Erik doubted that the hot and heavy scenes he had been privy to were indicative of the actual act of "making love."

He would certainly do his best to make her happy with him.

TBC

**Chapter 40 preview – Erik opens up to A'awynn about his abuse at the hands of the Gypsies and he makes "it" official!**


	40. Chapter 40

**WARNING:**

_**There are some references to child abuse and rape in this chapter. It is not too graphic, but it does get the point across of how Erik came to hate himself so much. **_

**miffster, hunting4max, Mominater124, and cinafran; I miss hearing from you. I hope you are still reading my story, just drop me a line and let me know.**

**Welcome to Passed Over, your reviews and opinions are valuable to me. I do understand your comment about Margarite Giry; however, sometimes we must go outside our comfort zone to make a point. In this case, I feel that is what she did. Christine, well…she's just Christine…young, flighty and uncertain about her decisions.**

**Thank you to everyone who has been there for me over the course of this story as it has developed. I foresee two, possibly three more chapters including an epilogue. I have loved writing this love story, I know that it took a long time to set the loving part of it up, but I hope it has been worth it. I am researching other storylines with the intent of writing again; let me know how you feel about that. **

**I am going through and restructuring the earlier chapter, implementing the suggestions from my readers that needed to be made and reposting. All of the chapters up to chapter 36 will be reposted to reflect the changes; I hope this helps.**

"**I'm surprised she didn't ask you to build her casket." Gerry Butler as Sam in "One More Kiss"  
**

CHAPTER 40

It was around 4:00 in the afternoon when Erik returned to the castle. Most of the activities were drawing to a close and the wedding party was gathering for the rehearsal. One could only hope that the actual wedding went along with a great deal less fanfare than this entire day had contained…everyone was near exhaustion.

It took until almost 7:00 to get the wedding ceremony perfected; Erik was so stressed out by the time they finally called it a night that he felt sure he would easily snap in two. He still had to go and make sure that the orchestra pit was adequate for the 50-man orchestra that was currently squeezing into it.

OOOOOOOOOO

After spending almost an hour doing that, Erik was eagerly awaiting the rest of the evening in A'awynn's company. He had ordered a quiet, candlelit supper in the gazebo with a hired violinist. Tonight, HE would ask HER to marry him.

OOOOOOOOOO

After practically throwing herself at Erik's feet and asking him to marry her, A'awynn would have thought that she was beyond getting nervous; but tonight, she could not stop her stomach from flipping in every direction, her palms sweating with anticipation and the excitement that raced through her body at the prospect of seeing Erik.

She had not seen him all day, except from a distance. The rehearsal was so hectic and she was only allowed to oversee it, not stand in – Brianna called it a tradition. She had barely had a chance to make eye contact with him, let alone touch him.

She dressed in a turquoise evening gown that draped suggestively low in the front and firmly hugged her figure. She loved the idea of driving Erik crazy with lust. His eyes took on the most feral glare when he was sexually aroused…it made her melt with desire.

She let her hair hand loose, except at the right side. She clasped a delicate barrette in it to pull it away from her neck… for easy access.

Lacey was most impressed with the way her mother looked this night. A'awynn lifted her daughter into her arms and gave her a tight hug.

"You be a good girl Lacey, and go to bed when Bree tells you to, alright?" A'awynn tucked the child's hair behind her ears as she spoke to her.

Lacey kissed her mothers cheek and gleefully answered, "I will mommy…you just go have fun with Erik…I mean, with Papa."

A'awynn loved the sound of "papa" on Lacey's lips; Erik had not heard her call him that yet. They had been working on it most of the week, getting Lacey used to calling him that. She would get her opportunity tonight.

A soft knock on the door drew both ladies attention. Bree answered the door and stood back to admit Erik into the suite. He looked exquisite in his forest green evening jacket, black and green pants, and black shirt. He had purposefully left the cravat out and unbuttoned the top two buttons on his shirt, making A'awynn's mouth start to water. He had swept his hair back from his neck and it was neatly combed, except for the several strands that always caressed his forehead.

Lacey ran up to him and he swept her into his strong arms and placed a fatherly kiss on her cheek.

"How are you this evening, my little chickadee?" Erik asked, tickling her lightly in the tummy.

Lacey giggled and hugged his neck harder, "I am great Papa…you look marvelous!"

Erik's heart nearly leapt out of his chest as he heard the title that Lacey had bestowed on him. Never, in all his years, had he ever dared to believe that he would hear that endearment used in reference to him. Tears stung his eyes and he was helpless to stop them as they escaped the corners of his eyes.

Lacey saw them and, without voicing her confusion, wiped them gently from his face with her tiny hands. Her sweet, child's voice wrapped its gentle string around his heart, never to let go, "It will be all right Papa...you won't ever be lonely again…" she hugged his neck gently and placed a tender kiss on his perfect cheek and then kissed his masked cheek. "…I love you, Papa."

Watching Erik hug Lacey and openly share his heart with her made A'awynn fall in love with him all over again. Seeing the sentimental tears fall down his cheek and watching Lacey wipe them away was a moment in time that A'awynn was certain that she would never forget.

Erik let Lacey down and turned to face A'awynn. His breath was knocked out of him at the beauty she displayed before him. The dress left him practically panting and the subtle hints of sexuality made him overheated. She knew exactly what she was doing to him, he could tell by the womanly arrogance he saw just beneath the surface of her turquoise eyes. Control would be a difficult thing to come by tonight.

His eyes said all that needed to be said and he offered her his arm as he led her out of the suite and down the main hall. The couple was completely oblivious to the eyes that were watching them. Raoul and Christine were rounding the corner from the garden room when Erik and A'awynn came into view.

**(What a pair they make…I did not know that two people could look so perfect for each other…) **Christine was thinking as they passed by. **(Their children will be absolutely gorgeous…and I will be here to see them!)** Christine found that the jealousy she had originally felt toward A'awynn was fading and was replaced with genuine friendship.

Erik escorted A'awynn through the gardens, led by moonlight and the quiet strings of the violin. There was a soft breeze winding through the treetops and the stars winked at the beautiful couple as they climbed the stairs into the gazebo. A'awynn was astonished at the romantic setting that Erik had planned.

The decorations for tomorrows wedding were in place and the glow of night over the gardens created a fairy-tale atmosphere that just added to the romantic feel of the moment. The chef had prepared rib eye steaks, baked potatoes, baby carrots in butter sauce, rolls and red wine. The dessert was vanilla custard.

Erik spoke of the headway that was being made at Caldwell and how pleased he was with the results. He described their room to her and A'awynn was very excited about being able to see it soon, the whole house sounded lovely.

Erik turned to the violin player and asked that he leave them for about a half and hour. They had some private things to discuss. The man bowed and retreated toward the gardens.

Erik was quiet for a few moments, not sure how to open up the next subject. He carefully voiced his next thought, "I ordered the decorating of the other four bedrooms, other than Lacey's." He drew his searching eyes up to hers, "I know that I want children A'awynn. I want daughters that look and act just like you…daughters that will wrap me around their little fingers just like Lacey has done and rid me of all my good sense…but whose very laughter and smiles will sustain me for the rest of my life."

Erik watched as A'awynn's eyes misted over, he hoped that meant what he thought it meant. He spoke again, with ambiguous eyes, "I no longer doubt that you love me and you have proven that you desire me…but having children with me is an entirely different matter..."

A'awynn was disturbed by the strain she heard in his voice. Erik had never shown signs of being nervous about anything, but she heard the tense pull in his words. She leaned toward him and took his warm hand in hers, gently squeezing his fingers.

Her brow was furrowed with concern as she questioned him, "What is it Erik?"

His eyes slowly made their way up to hers, the magnitude of his pain reflected in their ageless beauty; and an arrow pierced her heart.

Erik's heart was in his chest, beating frantically with shame and fear. He cleared his throat and began his painful revelation, "A'awynn, I want to keep no secrets from you…ever…what I am about to tell you, I have never told another living soul."

A'awynn swallowed hard, prepared to hear of atrocious acts that Erik had committed in the name of justice. She already knew about his torture training at the hands of the masters in Turkey and how he had used it to appease his pain. What more could there be?

Erik's voice, mesmerizing even its pain, captured her attention, "When I was with the Gypsies all those years ago…my master…" Erik's eyes took on an eerie glow of anger when he spoke of this man. "…a demon of a man named Boris…beat me several times a day with a whip and a rope." Tears of shame began winding down his cheeks, leaving a trail of painful memories and hatred, "He did not beat me on the back…he beat me on the thighs and buttocks."

Erik looked into the night sky and closed his eyes, willing the decadent memories to leave him be, "Many times he would leave me bleeding in a cage full of filth and grime…how I escaped infection I will never know." Erik's words were barely above a whisper, "That was all he did…until I turned eight…"

Sobs wracked Erik's body; an inner turmoil that A'awynn could not comprehend…his pain was almost more than she could bear. He stood up and walked to the edge of the gazebo railing, looking out over the midnight blue water; his face shrouded in anguish. A'awynn approached him and silently enfolded his hand in hers, lending her support for whatever torment was still to come.

The urge to just avoid this unsettling conversation and abandon the scene was almost overwhelming for Erik, but he bared himself down and turned to A'awynn, "It started about a week after I turned eight…he came to my meager cell and ordered me to undress." The last word hurled out with disgust. "I was tall for my age and gangly…traits that Boris found…interesting in a boy." The vile disgust spewing forth in Erik's words was palpable.

The images forming in A'awynn's mind were abominable and inhumane. She shut her eyes, hoping to force the images out of her mind…but she feared the worst was yet to come. Her hand covered her mouth as she forced back a gasp of unbelief at what she feared Erik was about to tell her.

Erik saw the fear on her face, but knew he must continue to cleanse his soul of this wretchedness that had resided in him like a symbiotic life form for all these years. He turned from her, not wanting to see the disgust on her face at his next words, "He forced me to my knees and tied my hands to the cell bars…and then he raped me…repeatedly."

The force of the revelation hit Erik fully in his chest and he fell to his knees on the floor of the gazebo. A'awynn raced to his side and took his trembling body in her strong, loving embrace as her tears mingled with his. She felt his arms go around her and the only thing she could think of to do was hold him.

Thinking nothing of the material on her dress, A'awynn sat down on the floor and pulled his body into her lap, his head resting on her womb. His tortured face was buried in her dress and the moonlight reflected on the beauty that should have adorned both sides of his face. His eyes were closed, but the tears were flowing freely; soaking into his soft hair.

A'awynn ran her fingers through his hair, relishing in its texture. She could not believe the torture that Erik had endured in his young life. Suddenly, his attempted suicide and the unfettered disdain, that had always been a part of him, made more sense and seemed entirely justified.

Erik's voice, sounding very much like an eight-year-old boys, broke the silence, "He did that almost every night for the next two years…" A'awynn felt his body tremble with rage. "Up and to that point, I had dealt with my deformity fairly well; I had accepted that this was who I was…but when he…I…" Erik fought for the words to say, "…I became something completely different…something…not quite human…he would yell at me during the painful invasion of my body…telling me that I was refuse and garbage; I did not deserve tenderness and kindness." Erik swallowed with difficulty and continued, "He convinced me that I was an animal, deserving of only brutal mating rituals and pain." Erik was fighting the urge to gag, "After he reached his fulfillment, he would leave me bleeding once again and tied to the cell bars…the scars he gave me have been more painful for me than the scars on my face…but I hid behind my mask, hoping the memories would stay buried."

Erik sat bolt upright, looking directly into A'awynn's soft eyes, "I killed him A'awynn…I killed him with my bare hands…and I feel no remorse for having done it…" his voice trailed off as he looked down.

A'awynn reached up and caressed his ravaged cheek, "There is no shame in what you did Erik…anyone would have done the same if the opportunity presented itself…and you are not to blame for the way he treated you…he was a perverted and evil man; a demon twisted into the image of a human." She pulled his eyes up to hers, "You fear that he may have caused you permanent damage, don't you?"

Erik did not even have to voice his concerns; she was astute enough to realize his thoughts. He gently smiled and shook his head 'yes'. A'awynn gathered her dress and began to stand. Erik swiftly stood and helped her to her feet.

Her hope-filled voice lifted his heart as she spoke, "We will cross that bridge IF and WHEN we come to it, Erik…there is no need to fret over something we know nothing about." She wrapped her arms around his slender, well-shaped waist, "I love you more than words can express…and I am humbled by the fact that you shared this with me…it helps me to understand you that much more."

Erik relinquished his pain and fear into the night air, thanking God above for this woman in his arms. She brought healing to him…a healing that had been a long time coming. It was time to put the past behind him and move on…into a future that he finally felt he deserved.

A'awynn leaned more into him and spoke in a whisper that held all the promise of the future, "I look forward to making babies with you."

They stood for just a few minutes, enjoying the quiet of the night and the feel of each other. The violin player returned and began playing songs that were very familiar to Erik. He did not remember giving the man his music, but he was playing Erik's compositions. Raoul must have brought them with him.

He turned and sat A'awynn down in the chair after pulling it back from the table. She sat, looking rather confused and dazed, but completely at ease in Erik's world. He knelt before her and the violin's soft lull serenaded behind him. His voice was steady and yet the control he had been exercising was beginning to fail. "A'awynn, I never knew what life really was until you awoke my senses with your sweet smile and gentle touch." He smiled and lifted his eyes to the stars.

He continued with closed eyes, "You are the fibers that hold my life together…and the melody that my heart sings with each new beat." Erik opened his deep, green eyes and bared his soul to her, "I like who I am when I am with you…I have never been able to say that before. I pledge my life to you…do with it what you will."

Erik pulled the ring from his pocket and took her left hand in his, placing a soft kiss upon its silken top. Her eyes glistened with tears of joy and love as her heart echoed back the words that he had just spoken.

His voice was slightly strained with emotion as he stated his proposal, "Lady A'awynn Raelin Shaunessy Yancey, it is my deepest desire that you join your heart with mine for eternity. To be bound in the bonds of marriage in the eyes of God…holding firm to each other through the turbulent times and raging storms that are sure to come our way…to be parted only by death."

As he spoke, Erik slipped the ring on her finger; again placing a tender kiss upon her hand. He lifted his dancing eyes to hers and noted the tears of joy that cascaded down her lovely face and the smile that lit his soul.

A'awynn leaned over and physically lifted Erik into her arms, enclosing him in the sweetest cloud of love that she could. She could not stop smiling through her tears as she answered his call, "My Love, there is no where on earth I would rather be than by your side as we face the good and bad that life has to offer." She cradled his dear face in her hands, "Take me as your wife in body, soul, mind and spirit; for there is no life without you."

She took his lips in a searing, sweet kiss, gently gliding her tongue over his in answer to his gentle thrusts. Erik ended the kiss and took her hand, bringing her to stand before him. He looped his arm around her waist and took her other hand in his and they danced to the music of the night as Erik hummed quietly.

Her body melded with his as if they were two missing parts of the cosmic puzzle; he felt every curve as it reached out to his solid, male frame. He nestled his lips in her hair, humming gently in her ear; sending rivers of delight up her spine. Nothing else existed in the world but this man and this woman as they discovered the joys of companionship and love.

He whispered softly, "Do you know how much I love this dress?" He seductively circled the outer line of her ear with his warm tongue, "It makes my body do strange things and my hands ache to learn every inch of you in sweet surrender." He kissed the lobe of her ear, sucking it gently into his mouth and nibbling with his teeth. A'awynn moaned with pleasure as she leaned into his talented mouth.

Temporarily ceasing the kiss, Erik dismissed the violin player, thanking him for a wonderful evening. He wanted to be alone with A'awynn as he further explored the depths of passion that resided within her. It was time to move the game inside.

TBC

**Chapter 41 preview – Friendly competition, Flirting, and Erik sings.**


	41. Chapter 41

**I'm so pleased that everyone seemed to be able to withstand the last chapter, it was difficult to write, but necessary if Erik and A'awynn are to move ahead. Thanks for reading and reviewing.**

**Thankfully, we have past all the major hurdles that our two lovers must cross; it's time to move on to the major loving! **

"**My grandmother used to whip me all the time…it didn't make me a good actor…not at all!" Gerry Butler on Gerry Butler (The Tonight Show with Jay Leno)  
**

CHAPTER 41

Erik turned back to A'awynn and pulled her to him, feeling her meld to his body. He instantly reacted to her and hissed at the sensation her body forced from his.

"Do you play billiards?" The question was laced with erotic overtones as Erik rocked his hips against her.

A'awynn nibbled on her lower lip, giving it an even rosier tone, "Why yes…yes I do…" She reported, with a seductive grin.

Erik caught said nibbled lip in his mouth and gave a gentle suck, causing A'awynn to moan pleasantly, "One game of eight ball…I win," Erik nipped her lip with his teeth, "and you have to do what I ask you to do." He challenged, with a sexy glint in his eyes.

A'awynn trembled with desire as he stroked the area on her lip that he had just bitten, with his talented, sensual tongue; she issued the challenge back at him, "I win…you have to do what I ask."

Erik took her lips completely, moving his mouth masterfully over hers. His dominant tongue thrust into her with even, full strokes. She answered him with her feminine thrusts, not quite so domineering, but strong and confident in their seductive power.

She pulled from and headed for the castle, glancing back at him and lifting her eyebrows in a silent challenge; the battle of the sexes had just been initiated.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Erik was confident in his abilities at the game of billiards, he had learned at the hand of some of the best. But even a man with Erik's resolve and confidence was not prepared for the sensual, feminine dominance that A'awynn was rendering.

A'awynn was amazingly ahead by two strokes. Normally, Erik would have been perturbed at this, but he found that the woman before him had completely bewitched him; he was loving this!

It was his turn and he took his stance, thankful that she stood behind him instead of in front of him…her enticing, swelling breasts peeking over the tip of her bodice, inviting his eyes to drift into the dark, unknown sweetness between them…it was almost his undoing. Then he had to watch her bend over the table with that sweet backside protruding into the air…he was going to have to take a cold shower tonight!

Erik concentrated on the five ball; knowing he had to make this shot. His aim was perfect, as it always was when he concentrated…he pulled the cue back and he felt the sweetest, warm fingers thread through his hair as she bent over and blew in his ear. How could something so simple be so provocative? Of course, her timing was perfect…he had just let the cue go when she sidetracked him and; of course, the hit on the five ball was all off and it sailed to the right…nowhere near the area Erik needed it to be.

He hung his head between his outstretched arms and shook it; chuckling at the power she held over him. A'awynn just walked away with her hands clasped behind her back and her shoulders swaying; her face, as she glanced back at him, was wearing a "Who-me?-I-did-not-do-anything", look.

He pulled himself up from the table and followed her contrite figure, watching her hips sway as she walked. What was she doing to him? Very ungentlemanly thoughts were invading his hormone infused brain.

She found her next shot and steeled herself for whatever retribution he would take. The game was in full swing and there was a take-no-prisoners tone in the air. She knew she needed to prepare herself.

Erik watched her ready herself for the shot. She leaned over and a lock of her hair lazily dropped off her shoulder and set its sights on him. He was entranced by its come-hither dance as Erik inched towards it. He reached out and gently took the lock in his fingers, running it slowly through each one.

His efforts were in vain of course, women handle distractions far better than men do…and Erik was ALL man! Her shot on the eleven sank it and she moved on to the only ball of hers left, the fourteen. What would he do this time?

She took her stance and went on the alert. She took her aim pulled her cue back and let it go…about that time, Erik leaned over her from the left side; pulled the sleeve of her gown down, exposing her shoulder to his warm lips and tongue, and dove in.

Even with the slight "yelp" that A'awynn gave and the bolt of sexual energy that surged through her, her ball hit the right spot and fell into the hole. The cue ball rolled to the perfect spot and A'awynn called the corner pocket, pointed to it and sank the eight ball in a mere second's time.

Erik had lost, this he knew…but she had played dirty; sorely tempting him beyond human capacity and than gleefully watching him squirm.

She came up beside him, slinking into this body, "Don't sulk my love, what I have in mind for you will be well worth the humiliation you are suffering now!"

"You are a wicked woman…wicked!" Erik pulled her into his arms and lifted her onto the pool table, turning her to the side. "What do you have in mind for me?" He asked as he placed himself on the edge of the table, at her side.

She reached up and caressed his anxious face, "What I have in mind will be revealed tomorrow night in the privacy of our marriage chamber…and not a minute earlier."

Erik visibly panicked and pouted, knowing he was doomed to a restless night, "You drive me wild with your sultry eyes and swaying hips…" he playfully kissed each side of her mouth as he spoke. "I want to touch you A'awynn…like no man has ever touched you before."

A'awynn leaned in to his persistent lips and rested her gaze on their exquisite fullness. Erik noted the seductive wetting of her lips with the tip of her tongue and that was all the persuasion he needed. He dipped his head and took her lips with his, beckoning her to wield to his superior strength and power. His tongue entered only after she deepened the kiss by opening her mouth. He lifted her from the table and swung her around in front of him while he was leaning on the table; she pressed her body against his, savoring the feel of his hardness against her womb.

Her body called out to him in its age-old mating dance, inviting his hands to roam over her searing flesh and appease the burn that threatened to consume her. She so longed to surrender herself to his masculine hardness and give him what his throbbing body so desired. She knew that the surge of his warm, talented tongue pronounced what pleasures he would lathe on her heated body tomorrow night, but she desired culmination now, and knew her flesh was being so very weak; but he was so unbelievably good at this!

"Erik, we must stop getting ourselves into this until tomorrow night…now behave yourself…or I shall have to punish you…" Her smile was sultry and sexy as it played upon her rosy, passion-swelled lips.

He leaned into her and whispered with smoldering eyes, "Punishment at your hands sends shivers of pleasure up my spine…I am not opposed to the idea!"

Erik closed his eyes, willing his aching desire to subside. He longed to bury himself within her womanly warmth and know what it felt like to surrender himself completely to another human being. He had also come to cherish doing the right thing…and the right thing was to wait until his wedding ring graced her hand and hers graced his before delving into the unknown world of physical pleasure.

He took her hand and led her to the music room. He sat her down in the soft, white leather chair that he had placed beside the piano. He turned coy eyes to her, and felt nervous at the prospect of sharing this moment with her. His music was very personal and he sometimes felt as if he was betraying its fidelity to him by sharing its beauty, which had been bestowed upon him, with others.

His hands soared across the keys as the melody that had kept him up last night escaped the confines of his genius mind and wrapped its beauty around A'awynn's heart. For the first few minutes, it was just Erik's playing that filled her ears and heart; then, the most interesting, intriguing, heart-pounding lyrics penetrated the air, carried on the voice of an angel.

"_**You are the candle, love's the flame…**_

_**a fire that burns through wind and rain."**_

Erik's eyes closed with the intensity of the lyrics; he prayed that A'awynn knew they came from his heart.

"_**Shine your love on this heart of mine,**_

_**until the end of time.**_

"_**You came to me like the dawn through the night,**_

_**just shining like the sun.**_

"_**Out of my dreams and into my life…**_

_**you are the one, you are the one…"**_

With those words, Erik's eyes opened an focused on A'awynn; tears of joy falling down his beautiful face.

"_**I said I loved you but I lied…**_

_**for this is more than love I feel inside.**_

"_**I said I loved you but I was wrong…**_

_**for love could never ever feel so strong.**_

_**I said I loved you…but I lied."**_

A'awynn heard the earnest plea in his words. It was never easy putting the powerful, all-consuming love that they had for each other into words; but somehow, Erik had managed it. All she could do was smile through her tears.

"_**With all my heart, I tried in vain…**_

_**how can mere words my heart explain?**_

"_**This taste of heaven, so deep…so true…**_

_**I have found with you."**_

Erik stood from the piano and kneeled down beside her chair, taking her hands in his and continued a cappella.

"_**So many reasons, in so many ways…**_

_**my life has just begun.**_

"_**I need you forever; need you to stay…**_

_**You are the one, you are the one…"**_

By this time, A'awynn knew the melody and the words of the chorus. She pulled his broad shoulders forward and sang with him, looking him directly in the eyes

"_**I said I loved you, but I lied…**_

_**for this is more than love I feel inside."**_

Their voices blended together; just as their hearts had done.

"_**I said I loved you, but I was wrong…**_

_**for love could never ever feel this strong."**_

_**I said I loved you …but I lied."**_

They adored each other with hungry eyes, enjoying the way their voices mixed. Erik caressed her cheek with his warm hand and whispered, "I said I loved you…but I lied."

A'awynn chuckled lightly; the song was so profound. The English language did not do the emotion of love any justice. There were so many types of love, with so many depths. What she and Erik felt for each other and the emotional trauma and pain that he had had to overcome to accept her…love sometimes seemed like an inadequate description.

They walked arm-in-arm to her suite; words were not needed as their two hearts were in conjunction. He stood at her door and kissed her tenderly, without passion.

"Until tomorrow, my love….dream of me..." was all he said and she watched as he turned and headed toward his corner of the world, alone for the last time…for the next time he entered his bed chambers, he would be a married man.

**Song is "_Said I Loved You…But I Lied_" by M. Bolton and R. J. Lange**

TBC

**Chapter 42 preview – Golf, glamour and guests**


	42. Chapter 42

OperaLover  
2005-10-20  
ch 41, signed

Nice! I was sort of hoping he would be able to distract her just a little-- not fair that she be the only one with that power... oh, well...

I think I'm actually beginning to get comfortable on these pins and needles...

REPLY:

I really just wanted to emphasize the female power that we possess through A'awynn – I think Erik needs a little domination now and then! Thanks for reviewing!

Passed Over  
2005-10-20  
ch 41, signed

Very good, I thought we were there, the big event, I am so glad you had them wait. But please, please, please make the wedding chapter long, I want details on the wedding, guests and such. When we get to the wedding night, please do not rush it. I hate to see the story end but I know it must.

I want to know when you start writing again, and it need not be about the phantom. I would like to see you do something with the characters in Dear Frankie, but I will read anything you write.

REPLY:

You bring tears to my eyes with your kind words. I plan to continue to write, I have thoughts for another "Phantom" story, but I have seriously considered writing around the "Dear Frankie" story. They left it wide open for interpretation!

Thanks for reviewing.

hunting4max  
2005-10-20  
ch 41, signed

sorry i haven't been reviewing; i've only been skim-reading the last couple of chapters. Not a big fan of borderline smut (no offense. i believe in too much information, even in matters concerning someone as gorgeous as Erik). update more often, please? it'll be good to see Erik completely blissfully happy.

REPLY:

I am truly sorry if I have offended you. I do try to keep things tasteful, that is why I have kept the consummation until they are married. I have stepped up the flirting a bit; I figured that at 29 and 33 years of age, they would be more intimate with each other. I will be posting the mature version of the final chapter directly following the PG-13 version, that will make it easier for those who want to read it. I hope that you will continue to read this story and any others that I decide to write. Your opinion is valued.

Pertie  
2005-10-19  
ch 41, signed

Erik "headed toward his corner of the world, alone for the last time". This statement said it all. Beautiful chapter, amazingly written. I'm speechless at the talent of our dear Authoress.

REPLY:

There are no words that describe what your reviews mean to me…you give me warm fuzzies! Thank you and keep reading and reviewing!

angelaura76  
2005-10-19  
ch 41, signed

HI,   
happy to write to you again sorry but i've had an orrible week so now i've read your last three chaps at once...Chap. 39 i think it was a necessessary chap. in the healing process of Erik, acceptance of the past yes i think i can call it this way,or God understanding! Now chap. 40, Well you said it was a difficult chap to write, but believe me it wasn't easy to read either, the first part was so sweet with Erik and Lacey, then the hard work and in the end another little beat of sugar with Erik an A'awynn dancing and flirting. I think you have balanced the chap so well to don't let anyone angry or sad after the brutal story of Erik. For this i thank you very very much. See you soon Laura

REPLY:

I am pleased that you were able to make it through that chapter, it was very difficult to write. Thank you for your honesty and kind words. Thank you for your reviews.

"**Yeah, I studied…I was the president of the law society…" Gerry Butler on being Gerry, (The Tonight Show with Jay Leno)  
**

CHAPTER 42

Saturday dawned bright and beautiful, bringing with it the promise of a wonderful future. Erik rose early, choosing to postpone shaving and bathing until closer to the time of the wedding. Just knowing that A'awynn would be in this room with him tonight caused his body to swell in anticipation and his nerves to work overtime.

He wandered through the halls, hoping that breakfast was ready; he was famished! Food had always been a necessary evil with Erik. He had not seen the point in feeding his body; he was only delaying the inevitable by nourishing himself. Now, he found it to be a delight; and, his always too skinny body, had filled out in the most delectable of ways.

He rounded the corner to the dining room and found his father, Michél, Raoul and his brothers-in-law all sitting there waiting on him. He smirked at them, as all eyes seemed poised for his every word.

He quirked a single eyebrow, as he had fastened his mask to his face, "Is there something I can help all of you with?" Erik chided.

Alastair explained, "Son, we must get you out of the house. I have been informed – in no uncertain terms – that the groom is not to see the bride before the ceremony…therefore, I have been instructed to remove you from the premises."

Erik grinned at the animated looks he was receiving from the men; they all seemed to fear that he would reprimand them excessively for daring to interrupt his day. He must present a foreboding figure indeed, if grown men, including his father, feared his wrath. He laughed heartily at the thought.

"And just where, pray tell, are we to go?" Erik asked with a smile.

"Well, it is early yet." Raoul glanced down at his pocket watch and continued, "It is only 8:30 in the morning…we thought we would catch a game of golf at St. Andrews…" Raoul's inquiring eyes noticed the perplexed look on Erik's face, "Have you ever played before?" Raoul teased with a smile.

"Golf?" Erik barked; the look on his face was priceless.

Angus chuckled, "Yes, golf. You take a long wooden pole with a flattened edge at the end and hit a small ball several times until you reach the tiny hole that is the balls final resting place…you do this for eighteen holes."

Erik had never indulged himself in physical games that did not require stamina. He had climbed ropes, scurried across prop poles, swum long distances, and even jumped mid-air between dangling ropes while in the opera house; and he had done those merely for survival. Hitting a tiny ball many times with a long stick, only to put it in a tiny hole did not make a great deal of sense to Erik.

"Is this something we feel strongly about?" Erik stated with a comical smirk.

The men all laughed at Erik's hesitancy.

"Yes son, this is something we feel strongly about." Alastair could not help but laugh when he spoke; Erik was being so cryptic about playing a simple game.

"Do you find this amusing?" Erik droned, hoping that he looked completely put out.

Michél got up, moved to stand in front of Erik, and pleaded with him as one would with a tyrannical five-year-old, "Come now, sit and have some breakfast. Then, we will all take Erik out to play with the big boys." Michél could not contain the amusement in his voice and Erik rolled his eyes at the laughter that filled the room.

Erik enjoyed the bartering, good-natured fun that he was having with his family. He had never been close to any man, except Michél, and he found that he had been robbed of that simple joy also. Being able to joke crudely sometimes, and discuss subjects that women did not relate to, was a welcome reprieve from always minding his manners. The men did not seem to mind the occasional drop in his otherwise pristine character.

OOOOOOOOOO

Golf was an experience; one in which Erik was happy to have participated. Naturally, being strong and athletically built, Erik was a quick study and the other men found that he quickly dominated the skills and gave them all a run for their money.

Erik found that he enjoyed this seemingly pointless game. He had never done anything as remotely mundane, but it was surprisingly refreshing; and being outdoors made it even better.

Five hours later, the men returned and proceeded to their respective rooms to ready themselves for the ceremony; this would be a day that Scotland would never forget.

OOOOOOOOOOO

Erik bathed and shaved meticulously while his stomach tied in knots. He was a basket of nerves. He would become someone he was not familiar with today; Erik the husband and father. The idea of having two other beings dependent on him for happiness and guidance…well, it was unnerving. A'awynn was thankfully a strong woman in every aspect. She was strong of character and will and strong of conviction and duty; it would most likely be her guiding him more than the reverse.

He regarded his reflection in the mirror. Staring back at him was a man he had grown to like. He could look himself in the eye and not feel repulsed or disgusted. His eyes no longer had the distant, shallow look of a lost soul; they shined and twinkled like the eyes of a man whose life was as near perfect as any human's life could be while on the earth.

He pulled his mask off and expected to feel the old gnawing hatred eating away at his soul, but he stared at his deformity and found that it did not hold the same power over him that he had allowed it to hold in the past. He shaved the ravaged cheek, careful not to cut its tender flesh. He actually put his hand to his deformity and felt the softness of it. The Scottish sun and fresh air had done it some good. The irritation was no longer so prevalent and the soreness of the mask was less intense. He realized now, that the torture to his skin had never really been allowed to heal before the gypsy witch was forcing him to cover it. Not allowing the healing process to complete had only made the scars worse. In retrospect, Erik determined that the deformity was not nearly as disturbing as he had thought it was for all these years.

He took one last look at himself in the mirror. Yes, he could honestly say he was pleased with whom he was and his life was everything he ever dreamed it would be. He had left his regrets and painful memories at the foot of the cross - he never intended to pick them up again.

OOOOOOOOOOO

A'awynn was assessing her appearance also, but she was surrounded by a dozen pair of eyes. She had taken special measures with her hair, piling it in soft folds atop her head. Several curls of hair cascaded down each side of her face, brushing her cheeks with soft caresses.

Brianna had been on the verge of tears all day, and seeing the joy in A'awynn's face and the love reflected in her eyes was all it took. The two women embraced, knowing that this day had been destined years ago.

Brianna had told A'awynn of the betrothal that had been in place some 29 years ago. She told her of the friendship between the two families that had predestined the young couple to be together. Erik knew nothing of the past that had been written in the stars, but he would today…A'awynn had a few surprises of her own for the ceremony.

OOOOOOOOOOO

Erik stood at the edge of the hallway, ready to make his way to the gazebo to await the arrival of the bride. A foreign part of him argued that she should run away while she still had the chance, but the rational part of him knew that she would not.

The orchestra began to play and Erik was thunderstruck. The music was his; the songs he had written years ago were gracing the ears of Scottish nobility and guests from around Europe.

The conductor finished the first piece and turned to the gathering crowd and announced the composer. "That wonderful sonnet was entitled 'Mysteries by Starlight', and the composer is none other than our own Lord Erik Bryant Lauchlin."

The people applauded and immediately looked around to find him; he stayed in the shadows, relishing the joy his music was bringing to others.

The composer introduced the next song, "Our next choice was also written by him when he was a mere 12-years-old, 'Call of the Darkness' is a haunting piece with elegant sway and tone; incredible depth for so young a composer. May I say that his brilliance is such as I have never seen before."

Three other compositions were played with precision. All were songs that Erik had written before the age of twenty. The people gathered were not saying a word; they were enthralled by the music and the fact that a nobleman had written them.

The most intricate piece they played was an eerily moving song in E minor. "Chaos in Silence" was an expression in music of which Erik was extremely proud. He had written it during the time of his imminent distancing from Margarite after she married and was pregnant with Meg. He had felt abandoned, betrayed and lonely. The only comfort he experienced was the echoes of the opera house activity and the lull of the water on the lake.

It was during this time that the voices in his head were commanding his every move and he developed the personality of the Phantom. The chaos of those voices echoed off the silence of the self-imposed prison that he resided in. Soon thereafter, he began his reign of terror, which would last the greater part of the next twenty years.

Hearing these archaic melodies played for an audience and that audience applauding the genius of the work was almost euphoric. How had they obtained the music? He had given all these pieces to Raoul for use in his opera house. He would have to ask how they found their way half way across Europe and into the hands of the Glasgow Orchestra.

Raoul happened to glance at Erik as he passed him; the ecstasy on his face was evidence enough to Raoul that he had done the right thing in sending the music this way a couple of weeks ago. When he and Christine had cancelled their plans, he felt that the only thing left to do was get these masterpieces into the hands of the orchestra so that all of Scotland could hear the genius of Lord Erik Lauchlan.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

A'awynn cornered Christine before she left to walk the carpet and take Erik's hand.

"Are you ready Christine, I want everything to be perfect." A'awynn said nervously.

Christine squeezed her hand, "I'm ready A'awynn…when the time comes…he will hear your words."

A'awynn smiled at this young girl whose gift of voice would make the words she wrote to Erik soar on the wings of angels. A'awynn was no musician, so she had taken the words from her heart and given them to Christine, hoping the young girl could write music as well as sing it. She had not been disappointed.

She had not heard the melody, she wanted to be surprised; but the words came from her heart. Christine had been practicing the song for two days straight. She and Raoul had been over at Caldwell practicing while Erik and A'awynn were courting.

Christine knew it would be perfect…her best friend was marrying the woman of his dreams…it had to be perfect. She only prayed she made it through the performance without crying.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

When Erik ascended the garden path to stand in the gazebo before the audience, he was greeted with a standing ovation; the conductor of the orchestra came out of the pit and bowed to Erik, voicing his admiration, "You truly are a musical genius my lord. I hope to be able to perform more of your work." He bowed again and went back to the orchestra pit.

Erik bowed to the crowd, thanking them for their acceptance of his music. He had no idea how breathtakingly handsome he looked. Every woman in the audience was stunned by the overt maleness of him. His tall figure stood proud and distinguished in the white tuxedo with tails that A'awynn had picked out for him, even his shoes were white.

The purity of the clothes emphasized the handsomeness of his raven hair, which he had tied elegantly behind his head by a black ribbon, and his dark green eyes. He had obtained a brand new mask for the ceremony, it was still white, but it was more contoured so that it curved with his face better, making it more like his other cheek.

The bride's maid's began the slow trek down the slight hill toward the gazebo. They were in elegant black gowns speckled with baby pearls in the shape of white roses with white gloves and shawls that draped over their shoulders. Each one carried a bouquet of white roses tied with black ribbons.

Lacey preceded the bride as she tossed white rose petals on the black velvet carpet. Her gown was the exact opposite of the bride's maid's. It was white with black pearls shaped into black roses and she had a black shawl draped over her tiny shoulders. She was the most darling thing that Erik had ever seen and as she approached him, he reached out his hand and she took it with the biggest grin on her face. She stood his left as she waited on her mother.

When Lacey reached the gazebo and turned, the bridal march began and all eyes turned toward the peak of the hill as A'awynn reached the starting point, the sun behind her created a halo around her and Erik's breath denied him its use; what he saw descending toward him was a heavenly being, for only heaven could produce such perfection.

TBC

**Chapter 43 preview – The Wedding**


	43. Chapter 43

A Place in This World

**This is purely because you have all been so patient with me and my long, drawn out descriptions. There is one more chapter after this one. It will be posted in two parts; the PG-13 version will be posted, and directly following it, will be the mature version.**

**I will have an epilogue, but I have not completed this yet. It will document some important events in the lives of Erik and A'awynn Lauchlan.**

**I love every one of you, even those who are reading and not reviewing. Thanks for the memories.**

"**You can break my wrist, but I'm still going to kiss ya." Gerry Butler as Terry Sheridan in "Lara Croft; The Cradle of Life"**

CHAPTER 43

Her gown was pure silk with spun gold accents around the hem, waistline and collar. The color was indicative of her having been married before. The accents wound down and formed golden roses on her dress and gold ribbon trailed down the skirt. The sleeves were short and simple and the torso was form fitting and modestly cut.

The train was 20 feet long and the veil matched it. Atop the silk and lace veil sat an exquisite crown of diamonds and pearls set in gold. She looked like a princess marrying the prince and getting ready to take on the role of queen.

Erik caught his breath and then forgot to breathe again. This vision of heaven was going to be his wife in just a few minutes. How did he get so blessed? She came toward him on Alastair's arm and Erik thought for sure that he would pass out. The whole world disappeared save for her and him.

As she stood before him, Erik reached out and took her hand to help her up the stairs and into the gazebo. Alastair relinquished his arm and stepped aside.

The vicar placed the Bible before them and they each placed their left hands upon it. The vicar draped a pure white, silk ribbon over their hands, binding them together. He smiled at both of them, knowing the journey they both had endured to get here.

It began…

"We gather here in the sight of God and man to unite in holy matrimony Lord Erik Bryant Lauchlan, Fourth Earl of Berwithshire and Lady A'awynn Raelin Shaunessy Yancey." Flynn McCairn's voice carried across the crowd of two hundred plus.

A sketch artist sat to the right of the gazebo, capturing the whole ceremony in a moment poised in time.

The vicar continued, "If any man has any reason why this man and this woman should not be united, speak now…or forever hold your peace…I thought not." The last phrase was said with a smile and wink at A'awynn and Erik.

Vicar McCairn went on, as he addressed the audience, "Erik and A'awynn have chosen to write their own vows." He turned his gaze to Erik, "Erik you have chosen to go first."

Erik turned to A'awynn, taking her hands in his, and spoke with honesty and conviction, "A'awynn, you have become a part of me that I cannot live without. My very breath is dependent on your presence. My heart beats in rhythm to your laugh and dancing eyes…" Erik felt the knot forming in his chest and fought back the urge to cry.

Erik continued, "…I love you for making me who I am when I am with you; I love you purely; purely in the sense of morning dew on the daffodils at break of dawn unblemished by the touch or observance of any breathing creature. I love you freely; freely in the sense of the wind rushing unhindered through the trees, over the hills, up the mountains and down in the valleys."

Erik watched as A'awynn's eyes misted over with tears, making her eyes glisten as bright and beautiful as her crown. He took her left hand and placed it over his heart, speaking once again, "This heart beats only for you and when my life earth ends and this hearts beats no more…I will love you still."

The orchestra began the beautiful melody of Erik's heart, and his voice soared through the trees and whispered on the wind…

"_**Love had tortured, bound and slain my heart,**_

_**and it ceased its wretched quest;**_

_**The darkness danced on the ashes cold,**_

_**and solitude became my guest**_

_**There was no life within this shell,**_

_**no cause to open my eyes.**_

_**The music died and words had failed,**_

_**for no soul for me did cry.**_

The message was eternally sad and dark, just as Erik had been for the greater part of his life; the truth pooled in his eyes and A'awynn pushed back her tears.

"_**But hearts are bound by timeless strings**_

_**that never slumber nor sleep.**_

_**Though dead deep within my chest,**_

_**an echo my heart did keep.**_

"_**A tremulous beat from a distant heart**_

_**simply captured my echoed strain;**_

_**and answered with tenacious humility,**_

_**by crafting a dulcet refrain.**_

Profoundly moving, his words painted the story of the confining prison his heart had been in and the key of love that had finally opened the door.

"_**The heartbeat in you saw the best in me,**_

_**and found the rose in the twisted thorns.**_

_**Sweet songs of surrender were heard in my heart,**_

_**and know music the walls does adorn.**_

"_**Once again my song has taken flight,**_

_**its message heard down through the years.**_

_**Carry my song on the beat of your heart,**_

_**And at last, the light sees my tears.**_

"_**Love has conquered with sweetest kiss,**_

_**what pain and anger could not.**_

_**No longer a wandering soul am I,**_

_**I found what long I had sought." **_

A'awynn trembled at the beauty of Erik's words. He had made her his life force, the very reason why he existed. The first song he had ever sung for her had emphasized the beauty of the night and all of its mysterious and magical power. Somewhere along the journey, Erik came into the light and found her.

Erik lifted her hand, placed a kiss upon its gloved softness, and turned back toward the vicar with tears in his eyes. Every member of the audience was in awe, not only at the beauty of the words, but also at the voice, which had carried them.

Erik watched as a small, six-man, stringed ensemble came to stand beside the gazebo. Two violins, a cello, a leer, a guitar and a harp; Erik was curious as to why they were present.

The vicar spoke again, "Lady A'awynn, please…"

A'awynn turned to Erik and peered at him through her lace veil; he was the most handsome man she had ever seen…and he was all hers. "Erik, the meaning of 'the home is where the heart is', never held very much meaning to me…I never really had a home that meant anything to me…until you." Erik could feel her eyes on him through the veil, "We were promised to each other 29 years ago in the presence of many of the people here today. Our parents shared a special bond and passed that bond to us."

Erik's eyes widened at this revelation; he had not heard about this. A'awynn turned toward the congregation, "The last words I remember my father saying to me were, 'Wynie, that was his name for me, when you are blessed enough to find true love, hold on to it with all that you have…it is rare.'"

A'awynn turned back to Erik and spoke with tears in her voice, "I found true love when I found you; with my dying breath I will love you." Erik swallowed the tears as they began to creep up his throat. A'awynn reached up and caressed his manicured cheek, "The trials you have endured to be where you are today have made you into the man that I love…that journey prompted me to write my feelings down; my thoughts were put to music by Miss Christine Daae, your dear friend, and she sings them, from me to you…"

The ensemble began an enticing melody and Erik immediately began to wipe his eyes. Christine's perfect soprano rang true to the heart and everyone was awestruck…

"**I see your face and feel your heartache,**

**I see the trace of the tears you have cried.**

**The silent sound of the heart left unspoken,**

**You were strong enough to hide."**

Erik shuddered with the intensity of the words…what could have possibly given A'awynn the insight to know his long-buried thoughts?

"**All your life, no one's ever shown you**

**what it's really like to have someone hold you…**

**In the arms of love,**

**heaven's just a heartbeat away…**

**I'll be your light in the dark,**

**your shield from the storm…**

**your shelter from the rain."**

Erik felt his heart melt in his chest as her words touched him in places much deeper than Erik even knew existed…

"**And in the arms of love**

**I'll lift you above all the madness…**

**all of the pain…**

**and you'll be safe and warm,**

**here in the arms of love."**

Tears were freely flowing down Erik's cheek, but his eyes held the purist joy.

"**We search this world**

**for a little compassion.**

**For just one look**

**through the eyes of a child.**

**For one more chance**

**to be a believer**

**while there is still**

**a chance in time."**

Erik was still and the audience engrossed, as they all knew the history of Lord Lauchlan, but hearing it put forth in song was exceptional.

"**All your life,**

**no one there beside you.**

**Close your eyes,**

**and let this moment find you.**

**In the arms of love,**

**heaven's just a heartbeat away…**

**I'll be your light in the dark,**

**your shield from the storm…**

**your shelter from the rain."**

**And in the arms of love**

**I'll lift you above all the madness…**

**all of the pain…**

**and you'll be safe and warm,**

**here in the arms of love.**

**High above the world**

**Where dreams are sailing,**

**Far beyond the brightest shining star**

**Where everything you've waited for is waiting."**

Erik caressed her cheek through veil, letting her know that her words meant everything to him.

"**In the arms of love,**

**heaven's just a heartbeat away…**

**I'll be your light in the dark,**

**your shield from the storm…**

**your shelter from the rain.**

**And in the arms of love**

**I'll lift you above all the madness…**

**all of the pain…**

**and you'll be safe and warm,**

**here in the arms of love."**

Christine was crying, the audience was crying, the vicar was crying, A'awynn was crying and Erik was in heaven.

"I'll keep you safe and warm here in the arms of love."

A'awynn said the last line and could not hold back the choking tears. All of her dreams were coming true and summed up in one word…Erik.

The vicar regained his composure and began the final stage.

"Please join left hands and place the rings when you say your affirmations." Flynn emphasized.

Michél and Kaitlyn stepped forward with the rings and handed then to Erik and A'awynn.

"Lady A'awynn Raelin Shaunessy Yancey, do you take Lord Erik Bryant Lauchlan to be your lawfully wedded husband; to have and to hold from this day forward…in sickness and in health…for richer or for poorer; and forsaking all others, cleave only to him…until death do you part?"

A'awynn smiled with an inner glow and said through her happy tears, "I do", and she slipped the ring on his finger.

"Lord Erik Bryant Lauchlan, do you take Lady A'awynn Raelin Shaunessy Yancey to be your lawfully wedded wife; to have and to hold from this day forward…in sickness and in health…for richer or for poorer; and forsaking all others, cleave only to her…until death do you part?"

She was his with his words, "I do", and Erik gently eased the ring onto her finger.

The vicar lifted his hands, indicating for Erik and A'awynn to turn toward the audience.

"I present to you Lord Erik and Lady A'awynn Lauchlan…what God has joined together, let no man put asunder." Flynn grinned impishly and stated the obvious, "You may kiss your bride."

Erik lifted the veil and took her lips in a tenderly possessive kiss, gently brushing his tongue across hers. He pulled back and mouthed to her through the thundering applause, "Thank you for loving me."

_**Erik's song to A'awynn is an original poem written by me.**_

_**A'awynn's song to Erik is "In the Arms of Love", written by M. Bolton, D. Warren, and D. Child, and recorded by Michael Bolton**_

**Chapter 44 preview – And the two shall become one.**


	44. Chapter 44

**This is the final chapter in this epic. I do have an epilogue, which I hope to have up for you in a couple of days.**

Forgotten Sorceress : I love your reviews, they are so helpful and informative. Thank you for your honesty concerning the songs. I originally wrote a poem of my own for Erik's song, but decided against it, thinking it too dark; but upon your recommendation, I went back and posted it instead. Please check it out and tell me what you think.

Pertie : Thanks for your commitment to my story and for your kind words as it has progressed. Enjoy this chapter! Happy reading!

eriksangelofvoice : The wedding was such an important step in this story. My personal opinion is that it is the culmination of the story, as well as the wedding night. I am glad that you enjoyed my dream wedding for Erik and A'awynn.

RussianGoddess : Thank for reading and reviewing my story. Wow! The words you said are so wonderful and uplifting…I don't know what to say other than thank you. I hope you enjoy this chapter; whichever version you read.

hunting4max : Thank you for your reviews, they have kept me grounded. I hope that the PG-13 version of this chapter meets with your approval; just remember, I did wait until they were married, because that is the way it was meant to be. Enjoy.

angelaura76 : You have been so faithful in your reviews. Thank you for sharing this journey with me. I hope you enjoy this chapter and the epilogue.

OperaLover : You have also been faithfully reading and reviewing. Thank you for your suggestions and opinions, they have been implemental in making me a better writer. I have taken your suggestions and the other suggestions that have been given me and reposted all the chapters up to and including chapter 36.

And to all who read and post now and then - miffster, MastersofNight, Dodger1, Passed Over, and others; thank you for giving of your time and talents in making this story a part of your life. I hope you have enjoyed it.

"**He has your eyes…they pull ya…right in." Gerard Butler as "The Stranger" in **

**_Dear Frankie  
_**

RATED PG-13 VERSION

CHAPTER 44

The reception was filled with well wishes and 'What a beautiful couple they make' coming from everyone who attended. No one could remember having seen a more beautiful wedding in years; not since Brianna and Alastair were married.

The music was exceptionally divine as more of Erik's compositions were played. Alastair was completely in awe at the extent of his son's talents. To write a song for a single person to sing was an awesome task, but to write the music for an entire orchestra…it was completely unfathomable to Alastair.

Erik and A'awynn were on the ballroom floor, exhibiting the most graceful waltz steps that could be displayed with the groom's arms full of a four-year-old girl. Erik was dancing with both Lacey and A'awynn, and both were grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Lacey was on top of the world as she danced in Erik's arms. She hugged his neck protectively, making sure that no one took him away from her. She rested her head on his broad shoulder, and as much as she tried to fight it, she drifted to sleep at the sound of his heavenly voice and the beauty of the music.

Erik quietly left the room; letting A'awynn know to stay, he would be right back.

He carried her to her bedroom, humming softly as he walked steadily. Once there, he removed her shoes and placed her gently on her bed. Bree stood in the doorway, ready to take over the responsibilities when he left.

Erik brushed the soft hair from her petite face and lingered his finger on her cheek. She was perfect, "I love you my daughter…as if you had come from my own body." He bent and placed a tender kiss on her forehead, and silently left the room.

Erik entered the room again and swept A'awynn into another waltz, adoring her with his eyes; assuring her that there was not now, nor would there ever be, another woman for him. He pulled the hand he held in his toward his smiling mouth and kissed her knuckles, sending a shiver up her spine.

"I can't seem to rid myself of this ridiculous smile that is permanently attached to my face", Erik stated, barely able to contain his joy.

A'awynn caressed his cheek with her elegant, gloved-covered hand, "I never want that smile to leave your face my husband." As she spoke, she ran her thumb along the contours of his delicious lips, consequently sending shivers up Erik's spine.

Erik swept her away in a wonderful twirl and dip; and the music stopped. Alastair approached the stage and stood before the crowd of people.

"My wife and I would very much like to thank each of you for coming today to celebrate the union of our son and heir, Lord Erik Lauchlan to Lady A'awynn Lauchlan.." Alastair lifted his glass of champagne and proposed a toast, "My son, may your marriage be blessed with immeasurable love, unending laughter, and immense success. May God grant you children to fill your golden years with their love, their laughter, and grandchildren; may you have no more regrets, peace in the storm and wisdom for the journey…"

Alastair put the liquid to his lips and drank, as did everyone who had a glass of anything; and the music began again.

Erik reluctantly pulled himself from A'awynn's side to dance with his mother, all of his sisters and Christine. The latter was currently staring up at him, in awe of how well he danced. "You dance as elegantly and perfectly as you sing, Erik." Christine injected.

Erik lifted a perfect brow and smirked at her, "Thank you Christine…I have been meaning to tell you that the melody you wrote to accompany A'awynn's lyrics was lovely." He looked at her pragmatically, "I did not have any idea that you could right music."

Christine smiled at him shyly, "I couldn't…until I meant you." Erik's head tilted and a questioning look showed in his eyes. "I observed you on many occasions Erik, times you had no idea that I was watching you. I learned from being in the presence of the greatest."

Erik blushed at her praise, knowing that this had to be a talent she had already possessed. "Christine, the ability to write music is a gift, not a lesson learned. If you write music, it is because you have that gift…no other reason."

She nodded her head slightly, "That may be Erik, but just as you did with my voice, you were the inspiration that made my talent bloom."

Erik inclined his head, accepting her compliment, even if he did not totally agree with it. The song ended and Erik removed himself from Christine's embrace. She felt the emptiness.

Her soft voice found its way to his ear, "Thank you Erik…thank you for letting me know you…I am a better person because I do."

Erik watched her go back to the waiting arms of Raoul, rejoicing that all romantic interest in her had been extracted from his heart. He looked for his wife and found her talking to his mother, as well as a crowd of other women. He approached them, something he would have never done a month ago, and watched as each face lit up in an appreciative smile.

"Lord Erik, it is an honor to meet you at last. I adore your music…it is so inspirational." Baroness Willamina Davenport fluttered her lashes at him and he chuckled lightly.

"Thank you Baroness, I am pleased that you enjoy my compositions." Erik said.

The other ladies did not say anything, but openly admired his attractiveness and then looked enviously at A'awynn as she took his hand.

It was 9:30 in the evening and Erik was more than ready to call it a night. The reception had been going full swing since 6:00 and could easily go for another three hours or more.

He pulled A'awynn to him and nuzzled her ear, "Enough playing host and hostess, my love…I need you…" his eyes were a smoldering green and the embers of passion rested in their depths.

A'awynn leaned into his warm breath as it caressed her heated flesh, "Has your patience run its course my love?" she teased. He did not even warrant that with a verbal answer, he just grinned wickedly.

They bid good evening to his mother and father and left the reception area, more eyes than they knew were watching them go.

OOOOOOOOOO

Erik led A'awynn by the hand toward his home; eyes were still watching, so he behaved himself. As they neared the stairs that would lead to the entrance to the west wing, Erik swept A'awynn up into his strong arms and mounted the stairs, carrying her to their bed.

Even with all of his ardent need, Erik was suddenly very nervous. He gulped hard as he placed A'awynn on her feet in the middle of what had been his bedroom for the past month.

She was still in her wedding dress, minus the train and veil. He was still in his tuxedo.

A'awynn raised her hand and gently caressed his cheek; then, she removed his mask and pulled his lips to hers. His mouth was shy and virgin, as if she had never kissed him before.

Erik's eyes slowly closed as he enjoyed the feel of her mouth on his…as if feeling it for the first time. A'awynn's gently prodding tongue begged entrance and Erik unpretentiously submitted.

He stood still, allowing her to take the lead. His hands barely skimmed the smooth surface of her arms as she kissed his precious face. Her hands worked their way to the tie around his neck, loosened its bow, and seductively pulled it through the confines of his collar.

She then slid the outer tuxedo jacket from his broad shoulders and smiled as it made a slight thud by hitting the floor. Each button on this vest was painfully undone as she rubbed her hands over the hard expanse of his shirted chest. After the vest was discarded; she concentrated on each button of his shirt, kissing each warm inch of flesh that was revealed as his shirt was slowly, erotically pushed over his shoulders and off his arms.

He stood bare-chested before A'awynn's devouring eyes. She took his warm, large hand in hers and gently led him to the bed. He sat down on the edge as she gently laid him down.

She fanned her hands over his manly chest and admired the strength that rested beneath its surface. She lowered her head and teasingly licked his hardened pectorals, causing him to hiss and jerk as the pleasure she was exerting. He smelled heavenly: musk and spices…all Erik. She teased the sensitive surface of his chest with her tongue and hands; relishing the power she held over his body.

She stood up and began to remove her gown; Erik immediately sat up and halted her efforts with his hands.

"Let me." Erik groaned.

He pulled her down to lie atop him as he kissed her. His articulate fingers worked the buttons on the back of the dress without any hesitation. He sat up, resting her upon his lap. His tight, bulging erection stained against the tightness of his pants, but Erik brushed its demands aside to concentrate on A'awynn.

He deftly pushed the silkiness of the gown off her shoulders, trailing kisses down their exposed sweetness as he did so. The dress gathered at her waist and Erik stood up, holding A'awynn suspended above the floor. She melded to his body and as the dress fell to the floor, she wrapped her svelte legs around his waist.

Their tongues never stopped dueling as Erik slowly, masterfully felt her warm body with his large, masculine hands. She was in nothing but her chemise; bodice and thigh high hose and Erik turned and laid her down across the bed horizontally. He adored her feminine beauty for a few minutes.

Her beauty was exceptional. The swell of her breasts, pushed up by her bodice and tight against her chemise, teased him deliciously. His hands ached to explore their plump softness, but he must hold back or this would be over before it begins. He gently lifted her leg and put his knee on the bed where her leg had been. He positioned her leg where her foot was resting on his shoulder and he unfastened her hose, rubbing his long, skilled fingers along the inner softness of her thigh.

A'awynn's eyes closed at the sensations that shot through her body at Erik's touch. He rolled the hose down her leg with feather-light proficiency, and bent his head and touched his passionate lips to the flesh of her calf as the skin was exposed. For a man who had never touched a woman's body before, he sure knew his way around it! He paid the same attention to her other leg and then placed her legs back down on the bed.

He then proceeded to use his hands as erotic massage therapy weapons and took her long, elegant foot in his hand and massaged the balls of her feet and the instep, making her moan with pleasure. Who knew that the bottoms of the feet could be so sexual? He took his time doing this with both feet.

"Erik, I thought you were in a bit of a rush, my love?" A'awynn said with a breathy, sensual tone.

Erik's eyes shone vivid green and the smile on his lips was devilishly sexy. He ceased rubbing her feet, placed his knee between her legs, and leaned over her. He caressed her cheek and lips with his hand. A'awynn gently sucked his thumb into her soft mouth and circled it with her tongue, causing Erik to jolt and hiss at the sensation.

"A'awynn, I don't want to rush this; I don't want to have sex with you…" Erik watched as a baffled look of surprise crossed her flushed face, "…I want to make love with you."

That said, Erik took her lips in his and asked for entrance with his tongue. A'awynn granted access and wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. Their heavy breathing and the slow, wet kisses were the only sounds heard in the room.

Erik moved his kisses from her mouth to her ears and neck, holding her head in his hand as he kissed her senseless. Knowing that her body now belonged to him, Erik moved lower. He saw the outline of her breasts against the thin material of her chemise her arousal was evident.

He spread kisses along her collarbone and tasted her saltiness with his tongue, causing a natural swell in A'awynn that pushed her breasts out even further. Erik rubbed his cheek along the exposed heated flesh above her chemise, breathing in her scent and adoring her with his mouth. He barely skimmed his cheek over the jutting peaks of her breasts, making her writhe in pleasure. The material of her chemise creating a see-through barrier that barely disguised her arousal.

He took an excruciatingly long amount of time exploring her body; committing to memory every curve and sensitive spot. A'awynn completely abandoned her body to his strong, capable hands as he skimmed them over her flesh as if he were sculpting his masterpiece.

He removed the remaining barrier of clothing from his body; all except his underclothing, A'awynn did the honor of removing it. She adored his carved body and caressed the remaining scars on his legs and bottom, constant reminders of his torture from the sadistic desires of Boris.

Erik, quickly losing all capability to stand, moved them to the bed and covered her body with his. His mouth and hands worked in harmony with her body, bringing her to places of pleasure that she never knew existed. He did not leave any inch of her body untouched in some way.

A'awynn pulled him up to her waiting mouth and kissed him, hard and hungry. Her eyes roamed over his naked form as she rendered unto Erik's body the same treatment he had given hers.

"You are perfection Erik…perfection in every sense of the word." Her voice in his ear lulled him further into the trance-like state he was already in.

Erik could bear her seductive ambush no longer and gently turned her onto her back. He distributed passionate kisses over her entire body; sucking and nipping in various points of interest as her body prepared for him.

"I need you Erik…I need you inside me." She pulled his head up to her warm mouth and licked his ear as she continued to whisper, "I love you so much…make me yours…fully."

And Erik; the former Phantom, knew the joys of the flesh for the first time.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"You are a fantastic lover, Erik. I have never felt so completely satisfied and content." A'awynn spoke with half-closed eyes.

Erik kissed her forehead and both closed eyelids. "I aim to please…my lady…my services are available anytime you ask…" he stated with a sexy grin.

They made love three more time that night, each time in a different room and position. By the time she drifted to sleep, A'awynn's face was flushed and content; her body glowing and tingling from Erik's passionate onslaught.

Three o'clock in the morning found Erik drinking in the sleeping, spent form of his wife. He would never tire of looking at her or feeling the bliss that her body gave him; but most important, was the way he felt with her by his side. He knew what love was and its name was A'awynn.

His eyes drifted shut in sleep as he thought about all that had finally given him a place in this world; his God, his birth family, his music, his friends, his country. But most of all, a little golden haired child whose grey eyes melted his heart and the woman in his arms who had taken that broken useless heart; nourished it, cherished it and kept for herself, and had given him hers in return…his wife.

CHAPTER 44

**MATURE VERSION – NOT FOR YOUNG READERS OR THOSE OPPOSED TO SEXUAL SCENES.**

The reception was filled with well wishes and 'What a beautiful couple they make' coming from everyone who attended. No one could remember having seen a more beautiful wedding in years; not since Brianna and Alastair were married.

The music was exceptionally divine as more of Erik's compositions were played. Alastair was completely in awe at the extent of his son's talents. To write a song for a single person to sing was an awesome task, but to write the music for an entire orchestra…it was completely unfathomable to Alastair.

Erik and A'awynn were on the ballroom floor, exhibiting the most graceful waltz steps that could be displayed with the groom's arms full of a four-year-old girl. Erik was dancing with both Lacey and A'awynn, and both were grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Lacey was on top of the world as she danced in Erik's arms. She hugged his neck protectively, making sure that no one took him away from her. She rested her head on his broad shoulder, and as much as she tried to fight it, she drifted to sleep at the sound of his heavenly voice and the beauty of the music.

Erik quietly left the room; letting A'awynn know to stay, he would be right back.

He carried her to her bedroom, humming softly as he walked steadily. Once there, he removed her shoes and placed her gently on her bed. Bree stood in the doorway, ready to take over the responsibilities when he left.

Erik brushed the soft hair from her petite face and lingered his finger on her cheek. She was perfect, "I love you my daughter…as if you had come from my own body." He bent and placed a tender kiss on her forehead, and silently left the room.

Erik entered the room again and swept A'awynn into another waltz, adoring her with his eyes; assuring her that there was not now, nor would there ever be, another woman for him. He pulled the hand he held in his toward his smiling mouth and kissed her knuckles, sending a shiver up her spine.

"I can't seem to rid myself of this ridiculous smile that is permanently attached to my face", Erik stated, barely able to contain his joy.

A'awynn caressed his cheek with her elegant, gloved-covered hand, "I never want that smile to leave your face my husband." As she spoke, she ran her thumb along the contours of his delicious lips, consequently sending shivers up Erik's spine.

Erik swept her away in a wonderful twirl and dip; and the music stopped. Alastair approached the stage and stood before the crowd of people.

"My wife and I would very much like to thank each of you for coming today to celebrate the union of our son and heir, Lord Erik Lauchlan to Lady A'awynn Lauchlan.." Alastair lifted his glass of champagne and proposed a toast, "My son, may your marriage be blessed with immeasurable love, unending laughter, and immense success. May God grant you children to fill your golden years with their love, their laughter, and grandchildren; may you have no more regrets, peace in the storm and wisdom for the journey…"

Alastair put the liquid to his lips and drank, as did everyone who had a glass of anything; and the music began again.

Erik reluctantly pulled himself from A'awynn's side to dance with his mother, all of his sisters and Christine. The latter was currently staring up at him, in awe of how well he danced. "You dance as elegantly and perfectly as you sing, Erik." Christine injected.

Erik lifted a perfect brow and smirked at her, "Thank you Christine…I have been meaning to tell you that the melody you wrote to accompany A'awynn's lyrics was lovely." He looked at her pragmatically, "I did not have any idea that you could right music."

Christine smiled at him shyly, "I couldn't…until I meant you." Erik's head tilted and a questioning look showed in his eyes. "I observed you on many occasions Erik, times you had no idea that I was watching you. I learned from being in the presence of the greatest."

Erik blushed at her praise, knowing that this had to be a talent she had already possessed. "Christine, the ability to write music is a gift, not a lesson learned. If you write music, it is because you have that gift…no other reason."

She nodded her head slightly, "That may be Erik, but just as you did with my voice, you were the inspiration that made my talent bloom."

Erik inclined his head, accepting her compliment, even if he did not totally agree with it. The song ended and Erik removed himself from Christine's embrace. She felt the emptiness.

Her soft voice found its way to his ear, "Thank you Erik…thank you for letting me know you…I am a better person because I do."

Erik watched her go back to the waiting arms of Raoul, rejoicing that all romantic interest in her had been extracted from his heart. He looked for his wife and found her talking to his mother, as well as a crowd of other women. He approached them, something he would have never done a month ago, and watched as each face lit up in an appreciative smile.

"Lord Erik, it is an honor to meet you at last. I adore your music…it is so inspirational." Baroness Willamina Davenport fluttered her lashes at him and he chuckled lightly.

"Thank you Baroness, I am pleased that you enjoy my compositions." Erik said.

The other ladies did not say anything, but openly admired his attractiveness and then looked enviously at A'awynn as she took his hand.

It was 9:30 in the evening and Erik was more than ready to call it a night. The reception had been going full swing since 6:00 and could easily go for another three hours or more.

He pulled A'awynn to him and nuzzled her ear, "Enough playing host and hostess, my love…I need you…" his eyes were a smoldering green and the embers of passion rested in their depths.

A'awynn leaned into his warm breath as it caressed her heated flesh, "Has your patience run its course my love?" she teased. He did not even warrant that with a verbal answer, he just grinned wickedly.

They bid good evening to his mother and father and left the reception area, more eyes than they knew were watching them go.

OOOOOOOOOO

Erik led A'awynn by the hand toward his home; eyes were still watching, so he behaved himself. As they neared the stairs that would lead to the entrance to the west wing, Erik swept A'awynn up into his strong arms and mounted the stairs, carrying her to their bed.

Even with all of his ardent need, Erik was suddenly very nervous. He gulped hard as he placed A'awynn on her feet in the middle of what had been his bedroom for the past month.

She was still in her wedding dress, minus the train and veil. He was still in his tuxedo.

A'awynn raised her hand and gently caressed his cheek; then, she removed his mask and pulled his lips to hers. His mouth was shy and virgin, as if she had never kissed him before.

Erik's eyes slowly closed as he enjoyed the feel of her mouth on his…as if feeling it for the first time. A'awynn's gently prodding tongue begged entrance and Erik unpretentiously submitted.

He stood still, allowing her to take the lead. His hands barely skimmed the smooth surface of her arms as she kissed his precious face. Her hands worked their way to the tie around his neck, loosened its bow, and seductively pulled it through the confines of his collar.

She then slid the outer tuxedo jacket from his broad shoulders and smiled as it made a slight thud by hitting the floor. Each button on this vest was painfully undone as she rubbed her hands over the hard expanse of his shirted chest. After the vest was discarded; she concentrated on each button of his shirt, kissing each warm inch of flesh that was revealed as his shirt was slowly, erotically pushed over his shoulders and off his arms.

He stood bare-chested before A'awynn's devouring eyes. She took his warm, large hand in hers and gently led him to the bed. He sat down on the edge as she gently laid him down.

She fanned her hands over his manly chest and admired the strength that rested beneath its surface. She lowered her head and teasingly licked his hardened pectorals, causing him to hiss and jerk as the pleasure she was exerting. He smelled heavenly: musk and spices…all Erik. She teased his manly nipples, paying even homage to each as he moaned beneath her talented mouth.

She stood up and began to remove her gown; Erik immediately sat up and halted her efforts with his hands.

"Let me." Erik groaned.

He pulled her down to lie atop him as he kissed her. His articulate fingers worked the buttons on the back of the dress without any hesitation. He sat up, resting her upon his lap. His tight, bulging erection stained against the tightness of his pants, but Erik brushed its demands aside to concentrate on A'awynn.

He deftly pushed the silkiness of the gown off her shoulders, trailing kisses down their exposed sweetness as he did so. The dress gathered at her waist and Erik stood up, holding A'awynn suspended above the floor. She melded to his body and as the dress fell to the floor, she wrapped her svelte legs around his waist.

Their tongues never stopped dueling as Erik slowly, masterfully felt her warm body with his large, masculine hands. She was in nothing but her chemise; bodice and thigh high hose and Erik turned and laid her down across the bed horizontally. He adored her feminine beauty for a few minutes.

Her beauty was exceptional. The swell of her breasts, pushed up by her bodice and tight against her chemise, teased him deliciously. His hands ached to explore their plump softness, but he must hold back or this would be over before it begins. He gently lifted her leg and put his knee on the bed where her leg had been. He positioned her leg where her foot was resting on his shoulder and he unfastened her hose, rubbing his long, skilled fingers along the inner softness of her thigh.

A'awynn's eyes closed at the sensations that shot through her body at Erik's touch. He rolled the hose down her leg with feather-light proficiency, and bent his head and touched his passionate lips to the flesh of her calf as the skin was exposed. For a man who had never touched a woman's body before, he sure knew his way around it! He paid the same attention to her other leg and then placed her legs back down on the bed.

He then proceeded to use his hands as erotic massage therapy weapons and took her long, elegant foot in his hand and massaged the balls of her feet and the instep, making her moan with pleasure. Who knew that the bottoms of the feet could be so sexual? He took his time doing this with both feet.

"Erik, I thought you were in a bit of a rush, my love?" A'awynn said with a breathy, sensual tone.

Erik's eyes shone vivid green and the smile on his lips was devilishly sexy. He ceased rubbing her feet, placed his knee between her legs, and leaned over her. He caressed her cheek and lips with his hand. A'awynn gently sucked his thumb into her soft mouth and circled it with her tongue, causing Erik to jolt and hiss at the sensation.

"A'awynn, I don't want to rush this; I don't want to have sex with you…" Erik watched as a baffled look of surprise crossed her flushed face, "…I want to make love with you."

That said, Erik took her lips in his and asked for entrance with his tongue. A'awynn granted access and wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. Their heavy breathing and the slow, wet kisses were the only sounds heard in the room.

Erik moved his kisses from her mouth to her ears and neck, holding her head in his hand as he kissed her senseless. Knowing that her body now belonged to him, Erik moved lower. He saw the outline of her breasts against the thin material of her chemise and her hardened, wanton nipples beckoned him.

He spread kisses along her collarbone and tasted her saltiness with his tongue, causing a natural swell in A'awynn that pushed her breasts out even further. Erik rubbed his cheek along the exposed heated flesh above her chemise, breathing in her scent and adoring her with his mouth. He barely skimmed his cheek over the jutting peaks of her breasts, making her writhe in pleasure. The material of her chemise creating a see-through barrier that barely disguised her arousal.

Erik was in heaven. Never had he felt a woman's body in his hands; never had he heard a woman moan with pleasure from the efforts his mouth and hands were putting forth. Tears flooded his eyes at the beauty of the moment.

He turned his head and took an erect nipple in his mouth, licking it through the material; and A'awynn moaned and squirmed beneath him. Her hands were in his hair as he moved and did the same thing to her other breast.

"Erik please, I want to feel your lips on my flesh, I can bear it no more." A'awynn moaned.

Erik lifted her off the bed effortlessly and turned her around. He undid the ties in the back of her bodice and after a few seconds, it fell to the floor. Then, he slowly lifted her chemise over her head, baring her back to him. Erik admired the smoothness of her back and perfection of her bone structure. His large hands rubbed up her back softly and maddeningly, with torturing gentleness Erik's large, soft, articulate hands came around her yielding body and cupped her passion-laden breasts.

He lowered his mouth to the curve of her neck, gently resting playful nips on the soft flesh and lavishing them with his tongue. A'awynn turned her head into him and Erik repeated his efforts on the contours of her jaw and ear; all the while, still gliding her thumbs over the hardened nipples.

Erik bent and lifted A'awynn's pliant form into his strong arms. He took her mouth gently as he carried her the eight feet to the bed and tenderly laid her down. The passion afire in Erik's eyes gave them an animalistic glow that make A'awynn melt. He devoured her with his eyes as he drank in her swollen breasts as they were exposed to his starving eyes. His mouth watered in anticipation of tasting her, but first things first.

He removed the remaining articles of clothing that still restricted him, and A'awynn watched with avid interest. He slowly undid each button on his slacks and let them drop to his feet. He stepped out of them and then bent and removed each sock and then reached for the waistline of his underclothing; but a restraining hand stopped him.

"Let me," A'awynn's seductive whisper blew across his skin as she kissed each flexed muscle in his chest.

She circled him like a predatory cat and stopped behind him. She placed her body in the crook of his back and lowered his underclothes to the floor. She brazenly ran her hands up the back of his legs and over his buttocks, caressing the scars that remained from years ago, the only visible signs of the Gypsy's abuse. Other than those scars, his body was flawless; strong, broad shoulders, slender, tight waist; firm, round buttocks, and athletic, lithe legs.

Erik's eyes closed and his breathing labored as he lost himself in the rapture of her touch. He swayed beneath her warm, gentle hands as she explored his back and shoulders. She worked her way around to the front, careful not to look upon his arousal just yet.

"You are perfection Erik…perfection in every sense of the word." Her voice in his ear lulled him further into the trance-like state he was already in.

His smoldering eyes opened to meld with her equally molten gaze, "No woman has ever looked at me the way you look at me…I feel vibrant and virile when you look at me."

A'awynn took this opportunity to wrap her warm, soft had around his arousal and relish in the hiss he exhibited. She watched as his beautiful, heated eyes closed with pleasure. She massaged him briefly, watching his labored breaths fall in his chest.

Erik could endure no more and ceased her hand. He moved to the bed with her hand in his and lowered her onto it, covering her body with his. He kissed her, holding nothing back. He sucked, circled and jousted with her tongue, as his erection grew more insistent as it pressed against her thigh.

He moved his kisses to her neck and collarbone, gently running his hands over her smooth skin as he moved to cup her swollen breast in his hand, gently brushing the peak with his thumb. This served to heighten his excitement as must as it did hers.

His hungry, heated mouth found her breast and he carefully, patiently circled her nipple with his tongue, avoiding pulling her into his mouth completely. A'awynn's arched her head back and gnawed on her bottom lip to keep from screaming. She entwined her arms around his head, running her fingers through his thick hair. She gently pushed his head into her swollen breasts, begging for more.

Erik kissed the tender underside of each breast; nipping at the tender flesh with his teeth, while his hair tickled each sensitive bud as he relished her with his mouth. He slowly brought his left hand up and rested her fullness in its palm, and A'awynn moaned at the pleasure. The wet, warmth of his tongue circled each hardened tip; then, he gently raked his teeth across each sensitive bud; and then; the gentle, demanding suction that caused heated pools of pleasure to shoot through her breasts and go straight to the ache between her legs.

He placed kisses down her torso, pausing to circle her belly button with his tongue, delving into its softness and then planting a kiss on it. He fluttered down to her abdomen, placing kisses on it and playfully biting at the tender flesh.

"I need you Erik…I need you inside me." She pulled his head up to her warm mouth and licked his ear as she continued to whisper, "I love you so much…plant your seed in me, my husband…"

Erik, driven by her heated breath on his ear, positioned himself between her legs as he pulled her legs over the tops of his arms, spreading her wide to accommodate him. His manhood was throbbing with anticipation as he wrapped his hand around it and guided it over her inviting flesh.

A'awynn was panting with anticipation as she felt the very tip of his sex enter her. She whimpered again and bit her lip gently as his entire, rock-hard staff slid into her. She was so tight, it had been years since she had consummated her marriage to James; and that had only been once; she reached her first peak immediately.

Erik had underestimated the pleasure that this God-given gift could bring between a man and his wife. As he slid into her warm, tight, accommodating cove, Erik would have sworn he was in heaven. He moaned as his more than adequate length filled her to her womb; and then he felt her clamp around him as she reached her climax. It was almost more than he could take.

A'awynn wrapped her arms under Erik's and around his shoulders, drawing him into her. Erik began the age-old rhythm of mating, drawing out of her only to plunge back in, each time driving deeper. He bent his head and took her hardened nipple into his mouth as he rode her with long, luscious strides.

Erik willed his body to subside, allowing himself more time. He slowed his heartbeat and calmed his nerves down. He pulled out of her and continued to kiss her. He pulled up off the bed and brought her with him.

A'awynn protested the interruption, she had climaxed already and Erik had not. She padded along behind him, watching his wonderful backside as they headed for the washroom. They entered to find the tub filled with sudsy water and Erik climbed in.

"I ordered a bath for tonight…come here my bride…there are joys yet to be had." Erik reached his hand toward her and A'awynn took it.

She lowered herself into the bath and went to set opposite him, but Erik would not allow that. He drew her down to sit in front of him with her back to his chest. She leaned into him as his hands found her breasts and worked her into a frenzy once more.

He found the bar of soap and rubbed it across her ample breasts, being sure to pay extra attention to her hardened peaks. A'awynn's eyes closed and she had a smile on her face of complete ecstasy.

"I never thought you could get more beautiful…but here you are…your lips swollen from my kisses, your face flushed from my love making and your breasts hard from my hands and mouth…you are a rare jewel, my love." Erik barely spoke above a whisper.

Erik continued to make love to her breasts with his hands as he kissed her neck and ears with his warm mouth.

His erection pressed against her back and strained for attention. Erik lifted her up by her thighs, spread her legs wide, and lowered her down onto his stiff manhood. He had managed to stay hard even though the pounding need had subsided. He pumped her up and down on top of his staff, causing her to moan at the sensation and angle. The water splashed around them, skirting over the edges of the tub. A'awynn's head was flung back and a very satisfied smile rested upon her luscious lips.

Erik wrapped his hands in her hair as she took over, riding him with wild abandonment. Once again, A'awynn reached her climax, and Erik withdrew; saving his climax yet again. He took time to wash her body and allowed her to wash his. They got out of the tub and Erik grabbed the waiting towel and rubbed A'awynn's body dry, paying close attention to her breasts, drawing each peak into his mouth and brushing them with his teeth. He dried her sex, gently rubbing it until she moaned some more. He sure knew how to use those hands!

Her moved to the living room and asked her to kneel on the couch, leaning over the back with her backside in the air. He moved to stand behind her and placed his strong hands on her backside, caressing and massaging the warm, plump flesh.

He leaned over her, moved his hands around to the front, and began massaging her sex. Finding the erect female flesh with this thumb and forefinger, he gently rubbed it until A'awynn rolled her hips into him.

Erik entered from behind, relishing the long, tight tunnel as it hugged his flesh. He pushed into the middle of her back, jutting her backside out. He leaned over her again and took her breasts in his large hands as he continued to plunge into her.

Once again pulling from her, Erik led them to the bedroom. His breathing was becoming more and more staggered and his manhood was throbbing for release. He laid A'awynn back down on the bed and as he took his place between her legs, she wrapped them around him.

He entered her hard and forceful, causing A'awynn to yelp from the depth. Erik was concerned that he had hurt her and immediately stopped his thrusts, but then he saw the look of joy on her face and he knew it was a yelp of pleasure.

He lowered his head and suckled her breasts as he pounded into her heated body. A'awynn felt her climax building again, and she began her soft whimpering sounds that signaled immanent completion. She reached her peak for the fourth time and that was all Erik needed.

He felt her vaginal muscles contracting around him and the sensitive flesh of his manhood felt every squeeze. He closed his eyes and pumped harder and deeper as his climax neared. Erik slowed the pace but lengthened the strides as his flesh pulsed into her.

Bolts of light shot in his minds eyes as ecstasy enveloped him and he moaned a long, deep-throated sound as he deposited his seed into her anxious and ready body. He continued to move inside her until he was completely satiated.

He pulled out of her and lay beside her. She turned into his arms and swirled her fingers through the hair on his chest.

"You are a fantastic lover, Erik. I have never felt so completely satisfied and content." A'awynn spoke with half-closed eyes.

Erik kissed her forehead and both closed eyelids. "I aim to please…my lady…my services are available anytime you ask…" he stated with a sexy grin.

They made love three more time that night, each time in a different room and position. By the time she drifted to sleep, A'awynn's face was flushed and content; her body glowing and tingling from Erik's passionate onslaught.

Three o'clock in the morning found Erik drinking in the sleeping, spent form of his wife. He would never tire of looking at her or feeling the bliss that her body gave him; but most important, was the way he felt with her by his side. He knew what love was and its name was A'awynn.

His eyes drifted shut in sleep as he thought about all that had finally given him a place in this world; his God, his birth family, his music, his friends, his country. But most of all, a little golden haired child whose grey eyes melted his heart and the woman in his arms who had taken that broken useless heart; nourished it, cherished it and kept for herself, and had given him hers in return…his wife.


	45. Epilogue

A Place in This World

Terpsichore314 : It was so nice to hear from you. I am hoping that you have continued to read.

Mlle.Fox: Thank you for your words. I am thankful that you like my story. I personally see nothing wrong with writing about a husband and wife making love. It is well within the range of normal and it is a God-ordained act – as long as it is within the confines of marriage. Thanks for reading and I will pay close attention to your series of stories.

Forgotten Sorceress: Once again, you know just what to say to make me feel special. You give me warm fuzzies! I am glad that I added a bit of spice to your life (smiling innocently).

OperaLover: Thank you for being faithful and letting me know how you felt. You have been a constant throughout, and I appreciate your loyalty. Enjoy.

angelaura76: Your words are always uplifting and encouraging. I am glad that you look forward to future writings from me. I am in the process of coming up with a feasible storyline in another "Phantom" fanfic; and I may have an idea for a "Dear Frankie" fanfic; although, I am not sure where I would put that on this webpage. Enjoy

Pertie: My faithful friend, you have been with me a long time and have kept me writing. Thank you for your words and look forward to hearing from you in the future.

THANK YOU TO ALL WHO HAVE BEEN READING, ENJOY THE EPILOGUE.

"Do you have permission to shoot me Croft?" Terry asked with a challenging smirk.

"Anytime, for any reason." Lara replied with an equally challenging smirk.

Gerard Butler as Terry Sheridan and Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft in Lara Croft, The Cradle of Life.  
EPILOGUE

_2 MONTHS AFTER THE WEDDING_

The days following the wedding were full of laughter and love. Erik and A'awynn had taken two weeks and toured Europe. Erik showed her the remains of the opera house in Paris and the reception they received was overwhelming. Paris had not forgotten The Phantom nor the music that he composed.

Madrid, Rome, Munich, Crete; every city had a personality of its own and the couple enjoyed each equally. For the first time in his life, Erik felt welcome everywhere he went. He knew that his title and wealth had a great deal to do with it, but he enjoyed it none the less.

Upon returning to Caldwell, Erik and A'awynn found the castle had transformed into one of the most beautiful examples of architecture ever seen in Scotland; or anywhere, for that matter. Erik's designs modernized the features and colors and utilized the latest technological breakthroughs, as well as some original ideas of Erik's.

This morning was especially beautiful, it was approaching the end of August and the summer was coming to an end soon. However, A'awynn was not feeling particularly perky this morning. The past several mornings had consisted of queasiness and vomiting, making A'awynn very weak. Erik was concerned for her well-being and had consulted the doctor.

Dr. Sheridan McCaulkin finished his exam and sat down in a chair next to A'awynn. Erik had been asked by the doctor to remain out of the room and Brianna was with A'awynn during the exam.

He turned to her with fatherly eyes, "Lady Lauchlan, you are fine; quite healthy in every aspect. Your sickness comes from the little one you carry in your womb."

A'awynn did not catch the connotation immediately, but Brianna did, and her excited gasp spurred A'awynn's realization.

A'awynn lifted happy, teary eyes to the doctor, "I'm pregnant?" Her smile could not be contained; Erik had planted his seed in her the very night they wed.

The doctor chuckled, "Yes my lady, you are…about two months along I'd say…give or take a day or two."

A'awynn hugged him and then hugged Brianna. She could not wait to tell Erik.

Brianna left the lovers to discuss new discoveries, giving A'awynn a look of joy and wonder as she walked out of the room.

A'awynn walked the doctor to the door, with Erik following close behind, the concern on his face still furrowing his features.

A'awynn turned and regarded him with a glow that only comes from carrying a child. She went to him and pulled him down for a gentle, tender hug. Erik reciprocated and hugged her back.

With a strained voice Erik asked, "Are you alright A'awynn? I could not bear it if something happened to you." He caressed her tearstained cheek with this thumb; concerned, but not wanting to force the information.

She took his hand and led him onto the patio. They sat in silence for a few minutes, drinking in the beautiful scenes before them.

A'awynn's soft voice invaded, "You need not be concerned my husband, my condition is perfectly normal."

Erik turned to her with relief on his face, "I am so thankful." Erik thought about what she said and furrowed his brow; completely oblivious to any of the symptoms she was displaying, "Condition? What condition?"

A'awynn could not hold her grin much longer. She reached her hand up and caressed Erik's sculptured cheek, as her eyes filled with tears. Erik began to get nervous, thinking something was seriously wrong with her.

A'awynn stood up and moved to stand in front of Erik. She took his large, graceful hand in hers and placed it over her womb. "In a couple of months, you will be able to feel him move Erik…I am going to have your baby." A'awynn looked deep into his eyes, allowing him time to take in what she had just said.

Erik felt like a boulder was stuck in his throat and words would not come to him. With tears in his eyes and shaking hands, Erik dropped to his knees and pulled A'awynn in to his arms, wrapping them around her waist with his ear to her abdomen. He wept quietly for a few minutes before turning his lips to her womb and placing a kiss on the small swelling that was almost undetectable.

His words were barely above a whisper as he lifted his head and looked into beautiful turquoise eyes, "There has never been a time in my life when I have been any more blessed than I am right now…you have made me so happy." He pulled himself to his full height and planted a long, passionate kiss on A'awynn's lips. The thought of his baby filling her womb made his blood run hot and he spent the next couple of hours showing her just how much.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

_September 3, 1872_

Erik had never had a birthday party before, and A'awynn and Brianna saw to it that he turned 34 in style. A ball was planned and people from all over the country and Europe came to help celebrate.

A'awynn was barely showing, so she was able to wear a lovely gown with a slightly looser skirt. Erik had never seen her look lovelier. The glow that enhanced her features was nothing short of awe-inspiring and Erik could not keep his eyes off her.

It did not take long for Erik to realize that he felt younger and more alive at the age of 34, than he had felt at 20. He supposed that it was because he now had something worth living for…which oddly enough, was also worth dying for…eternal love.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_March 21, 1873_

Erik paced the floor outside their bedroom and Lacey paced every step with him. It had been five hours and the doctor still had not come out. Brianna, Kaitlyn and Brietta were all in the room with A'awynn, leaving Erik and Alastair to conjure up images of their own.

Dr. Allen O'Leary was the family physician and had been the attending doctor at the birth of every grandchild of Alastair and Brianna's. He had extensively talked to A'awynn and Erik about the risks of childbirth and the options that could be implemented if need be. Erik had begun praying at that very moment that nothing would go wrong and the pregnancy and birth would go easily.

Lacey was scared to the point of tears, but kept them to herself, not wanting to upset her papa any more than he already was, but Erik, being the sensitive man that he was, could tell that she was upset. He knelt down and scooped Lacey into his large arms, and carried her with him while he paced, her quiet tears covering his shoulder with wetness.

Inside the room, A'awynn was exhausted but determined. Dr. O'Leary had warned her that having her first baby at her age was going to be difficult; it was obvious that he knew what he was talking about.

A'awynn spoke between contractions, 'I want Erik in here; he is worried sick." She spoke to Brianna with alert eyes. "Doctor, I want him in here with me."

Dr. O'Leary knew that he was on the losing end of this battle and finally agreed. Brianna left the room to get Erik

Erik jerked his head around and closed the distance between him and his mother. Brianna rested a reassuring hand on his chest and smiled, "A'awynn wants you with her in the last few moments before the baby is born…she wants you to witness the miracle."

That was all the encouragement Erik needed, he kissed Lacey on the cheek and gently handed her over to Alastair. He said with a soft, fatherly tone, "Papa will be back as soon as he can, honey…I need to be with mama right now."

Lacey shook her head and smiled a hesitant smile, not totally at ease with the situation.

Erik swirled into the room; demanding the attention of everyone, just as he always did when entering a room. He was at A'awynn's side in a flash, holding her hand and wiping the hair gently from her forehead.

She looked pale and worn, but the glow that emanated from her was still strong and her smile was brilliant. She pulled his warm hand to her lips and placed a kiss on the manly knuckles.

A contraction enslaved her and she squeezed his fingers unmercifully. Erik felt the tears pouring down his cheek at seeing his wife in so much pain.

"One more good push and you will be done…come on my dear…" Dr. O'Leary's calming voice beckoned her.

Erik climbed into the bed and lifted A'awynn's back, placing himself behind her as leverage. He placed her head on his chest and enticed her to push. Erik's hands were around her and she held on to them and pushed with all she had, digging her nails into his hands and drawing blood.

As Lord Erik Connor Lauchlan, Fifth Earl of Berwithshire entered the world, his father and mother cried tears of thanks and relief. He was placed in this mothers arms as his father looked over her shoulder.

A head full of deep auburn hair, a dimpled chin and cheeks; a straight, articulate nose and long musician's fingers – these were the prominent features that Erik and A'awynn observed about their infant son; he was breathtaking.

Papa Erik was in awe at the beauty of his son…HIS SON. He was beautiful, just like his mother. Of course, two-years down the road, it was obvious that Little Erik was his father's son – deep, emerald green eyes; full, luscious lips; aristocratic cheekbones; dimpled chin and cheeks…all accented by a head full of wavy, deep auburn hair.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Lord Erik and Lady A'awynn eventually stopped having children after the birth of their sixth in 1885. Four boys and two girls was the final count, not counting Lacey whose place in the family never came into question. It was obvious that her father doted on her, his eyes adoring her on every occasion.

Upon his death in 1930 at the age of 92, Lord Erik Bryant Lauchlan, Fourth Duke of Berwithshire, had seen the births of 37 grandchildren and 55 great-grandchildren. He had written 103 operas and 513 songs and he was one of the most sought after and well-known architects in all of Europe. His funeral was attended by royalty from five nations; namely, King George V of Great Britain.

…and the world wept, not because of the pain his life had endured; but because of the beauty his life had inspired.

THE END


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